Thursday, June 30, 2005


So, someone at my work died. Not a co-worker, a patient. I wasn't even there and I am still shocked. I mean, I joke around with Drew about showing him where the life insurance is and all that jazz, but do I really think it could happen. This girl was young, skinny, and sick, very VERY sick... but no one knew. Just some vomiting, some brain hemorrhages and some intensive care. She isn't dead yet, courtesy of some machines, but maybe working out isn't what my focus needs to be... loving my family and knowing that any time, it could be mine. of course, along with the fact that "it could've been me" comes "I could have been her nurse." I mean, in labor and delivery things go smoothly, most of the time. It's true, most people have some highly dramatic story about howt he nurses came in and turned them and told them to breathe for their baby (which, happens probably 80% of the time) but things happen fine, baby comes out, it cries (0r we give a little oxygen and things are fine). But, when things don't go fine, someone's mommy just died.

someone's mommy

I know that I want to be around forever for my kids and I want the same for everyone else (forever, of course ending when I have to wear adult briefs, but that's content for another blog). It's just a reminder that I play a life and death game and that I'm playing referee sometimes. I need to take my job a tad more seriously.
End of story.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005


So, yesterday we went to Great America, it was really fun. We even took a nanny (thanks Jessica) and she hlped out a ton, Drew and I even went on a few rides together. Obviously, I didn't work out (per se) but I did drage 2 kids around a water park AND an amusement park. Plus, to get to the big water slides, you have to go-up like 3-4 flights of stairs, and I did that 3 times. Eating sucked (both out of my wallet and onto my hips), but I figure the work you do during the day basically cancels it out. Then, it was Mr. Chau's for dinner (hanging head in shame). OH well
Now I am sunburned and drinking some Gatorade... in hopes I feel better.
Trying, trying, trying... And it's on my mind all the time, which is a big step. I no longer say I don't care... I just have some GREAT justifications in my mind. :)

Monday, June 27, 2005

Don't Be a Nurse if you Want to Lose Weight

Ok, they told us in nursing school that nurses have the highest weight gain of any occupation. The long nights, the time charting, the companionship of the other nurses around food. It's nice. But, I really think it's that we work and eat at random times. Today I had 1/4 of a bananna and a handful of teddy grahams. Then, we were headed to work and I knew I'd never get a break, so I had a togo's sandwich (turkey and ranch, we're not talking low fat here). Then, I got Taco Bell on my way home from work (which was 9:30). No breaks today, no lunch... nada. Just running. Running for 8 hours. At this time, I think about Oprah and how she doesn't eat 2 hours before bedtime. You know what though, I'm fairly sure OPrah gets to eat 3 possibly even 4, meals a day... and no one dies if OPrah doesn't do her job... Anyway, I think it boils down to the fact I'm trying. I ran with COnner to soccer today... so it was a bit of exercise and then I ran all night at work. My legs totally ache, and I'm sure I need more water, but I think I may need my bed more.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

A little layout about Conner's graduation. Posted by Hello It's obviously cropped a bit at the bottom... but, I can't really get it to change.

Thursday, June 23, 2005


Ok, gals... time to yell at me. I did NOTHING today. I had a class from 8-11... and then we went to Chuck-e-cheese, and apparently that took it ALL out of me, so I took a 1 hour nap after... then it was a trip to Safeway (which I'm pretty sure HURT my cardiac status) and then home to cook the kiddies dinner. Meanwhile, I had a bagel for breakfast (only had juice at my meeting though, even though doughnuts and assorted patries were available-- YAY), chuckecheese pizza (nasty) for lunch and then finished Jamba juice for dinner. probably going to make me and Conner some popcorn in a few (as a reward for him taking a nap when I did). So, tell me I'm a loser... OK? Maybe I can squeeze in a short walk right now... hmm.....
P.S. So... I went on my fancy walk. It was about 25 minutes long, with just a little bit of running (I'm kinda sore) and I feel just foot loose and fancy free for having done it. I also vow to do some "firm" lunges and squats tonight.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


So, our FHE (family home evening -- we give a lesson and have treats, it's a nice time to just be together as a family -- it's a Mormon thing) lesson this week was on being kind (and not being critical, although that was probably more for me than Conner). As I was reading the lesson I was thinking how awesome I am, and how I am rarely critical. I mean, I try to be nice to those around me and I rarely think really bad thoughts about anyone. However, since then I've been catching myself laughing at others being critical (and not saying something) or actually being a tad critical myself. I mean, last night at Enrichment we weren't in love with a particular bread that someone brought (as a freaking VOLUNTEER... as if you should ever criticize VOLUNTEERS!!!). I mean, I should've said that I was glad someone brought bread and been done with it. It's something I need to work on. Quite probably more than I need to work on my body.

Wave your hands in the air...

Ok... so I went walking this AM -- 35 minutes and I ran 4 blocks. I know it was more than a mile. We (Drew came too, big help I might add) walked to the park by our house and then I did some laps on the sidwalk around it while he played with the kids. So, great for the family, AND the thighs. :) Hope everyone else is sucessful today!

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

The good and the bad

Which would you like, the good news, or the bad news... Ok, bad news first, I ate two dinners. Well, two small'ish dinners... but two nevertheless. I had dinner at work, and then at a bit more at a church function. Bad me. GOOD news: I came-home and did 75 sit-ups (25 where you pull your legs-up, 25 regular and 25 where you go side to side). I guess they weren't full-on sit-ups... but those smaller ones (which I guess are better for you). I feel better about myself. Although, Drew made fun of me when I passed gass while doing my sit-ups... Does anyone else do this? Just me?

Also, I have been feeling like I need to get my cardio AND my weight-bearing in at the same time. But I just can't do it. There's attention to be given when I get home, and laundry and... well, you know what I'm talking about. SO, I'm gonna do my aerobic in the AM and the some sort of weight-bearing -- sit-ups, squats, weight work in the evening when I'm watching TV. Is there a reason I shouldn't do this? Anyone?

A little challenge

Ok, so... I'm not quite the skinny gal I used to be. I'll admit it, I was 115 pounds when I married Drew, and I am almost 80 pounds more than that right now as my fat buttocks sits in front of this computer (sigh, that is SERIOUSLY so depressing to me, and I'm glad that I've finally gotten it off my chest). SO, I'm going to do something about it. My friend Shannon and I have challenged each other to DO SOMETHING about it -- I mean, even if you don't lose a ton of weight, at least you feel like you're doing something... right? So, each day I'm going to update how I'm DOING something, and how I feel about myself, and y'all can just drool with boredome as you read my blog. I'd challenge the rest of you to try (Elizabeth, Shannon, Dad... I know you've already started) and update me too. I am sure encouragement can only help us... right?
Anyway, today I walked with Conner and Spencer (Spencer in the stoller, Conner on bike -- so we did stop a bit so he could tell me how HARD he was working) about 20 minutes... I'm sure it was less than a mile (sorry glum smile) but I'm going to try and increase (Conner was REALLY whining this morning, hence the short distance, also... he doens't like to cross streets, which makes our routing a little interesting). BUT, I did run 3 of those blocks and if anything it reminded me HOW MUCH fat I have on my buns... since it all shakes vigrously as I "race" down the road. I do feel better about myself today, and I worked in the yard for about 15 minutes, doing some squatting as I pulled dead flowers off...
Ok... you guy's turn now!

Sunday, June 19, 2005

A new layout... "Brotherly Love" Posted by Hello

Happy Father's Day Dad

This is My dad... and although it looks like it in this picture, he doesn't have down syndrome... he's a really great guy (and I EVEN found this picture of him on the internet!!! Posted by Hello

So, even though I spent 3 hours making breakfast for someone who is NOT my father (he doesn't even give me allowance), I wanted to share a bit about my own father, who's far away on this fancy-dad-filled day.My dad's basically awesome. When I was little he was great to play with, he always said the right things to make me feel better about myself and I think perhaps his NUMBER one triumph is this particular story:
It was the summer that I was applying to nursing school. I was a particular mess this summer. I had already been shot down once and under the guidance of my mother I was searching out some other possible "career paths", as well as working full time (at the stinking cannon center, no less) and taking some last ditch classes. I was in the process of finishing up my application and had to go to work. For some weird reason I decided I needed to clean-out this little make-up tray of mine, turned on the water, ate some breakfast, and left (water still running). Then, I get a call at work... Hilary... you've flooded our whole freaking house (which is like 1 year old at this point). I know that my mom basically wanted to chain me to the wall and beat me at this point (and I basically can't blame her, now that we've worked so hard to get this tiny little cottage, I'm sure she was HORRIFIED at water seeping out of the walls she'd so lovingly SCREAMED at contractors just a year ago to get perfect). Anyway, I come home (and thanks to my friend Arnie at work for taking up the slack, I'll never forget that either). and there's seriously water SQUISHING out of the carpet in the basement and like 1/2 inch of standing water in some places, and there's giant bulges in the paint in other places. I basically think I'm screwed, and it wasn't even that I'd gotten rejected from nursing school (again). My mom helps out a bit, but I vaguely remember her leaving because she wanted to tie me up and beat me and I guess my dad didn't have that in the plans. I remember crying as we used the wet-dry vac to suck the water out of the carpet... And then my dad gave me the "sin" verse "mistake" talk. I don't know if he'd given me this talk before, but I know that it made an impression and I also know that when I turned around to see Conner had turned our friends couch a lovely shade of blue with a highlighter this was one of the first lessons that came to my mind. It's made me a better parent, and perhaps I don't initially think of chaining my kids to the wall and beating them (although, Drew did have to take Conner home after the highlighter incident -- I couldn't even look at him). So, thanks for being there dad, and teaching me the lessons that've made me who I am. I'm sorry you had to work with what you were given. Love you!P.S. My parents have left the peeling paint there STILL in their house, I think it's their quiet way of tormenting me for my big mistake.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Summertime, summertime, sum-sum-summertime...

So, today's the last day of school. Of course, no one goes to school here but Drew. I always feel like this is the edge of a cliff. Our plan is always that I work a lot in the summer, and Drew stays home with the boys. However, time has shown that this doesn't really work. He doesn't see dirt and disorganization the same way I do (he, being Drew). So, I made him a complicated algorhythm table of what jobs are done on what days and what days we do what with Conner... and he looked a tad overwhelmed last night as I tried to explain it. We'll see if tables to much to help clean houses...

Thursday, June 16, 2005

The last of the "me" layouts...

New Layout... Posted by Hello

In an effort to prevent some of you from squinting too much -- here's the journaling:
I thought I’d answer a few questions about myself.. What could be more interesting (don’t answer that) -- it took guts enough to put a picture of my self in the scrapbook!!!
1. First name? Hilary
2. Were you named after anyone? No
3. Do you wish on stars? Not really, but I pray a lot
4. When did you last cry? I think I was watching some TV show... I’m sure it was a lame reason to cry though, usually is.
5. Do you like your handwriting? Yes and no, depends on my mood and how that shapes my writing.
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? Lean Ham -- makes me happy knowing SOMETHING in my house is lean.
7. What is your birth date? May 19, 1976
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? Huh... besides my BYU band ones, not sure.
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Possibly, but I think I talk a lot.
10 Do you have a journal? Yup, LOTS
11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Umm... YEAH
12. What are your nicknames? Hil, Hilly, Hilarious, and my most recent from O’Connor ‘Hil-air-y’ (I think you have to be Vietnamese to really say it right, Dr. Ninh calls me that, and the nurses think it’s humorous)
13. Would you bungee jump? Nope
14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Not unless I can’t get them off without doing so (ie, pregnant) -- sorry mom.
15. Do you think that you are strong? As far as lifting things, no... otherwise, maybe.
16. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Well, at Cold Stone I like Cake Batter Ice Cream with butterfinger as the mix-in... mmm....
17. Shoe Size? 7.5-8
18. Red or pink? RED
19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I talk a lot, I’m too sarcastic, possibly venturing on mean (not MEANing to) at times.
20. Who do you miss most? My mom, although I’m not sure why -- we talk on the phone a
lot. I miss my 2 uncles that died too...
21 Your favorite TV show? The Amazing Race (stupid summer re-runs, it’s not even on). Currently they have this show about people trying to get fired, I think it’s funny... probably just living in my little fantasy world.
22. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Blue jeans, fuzzy slippers
23. What are you listening to right now? Conner sniffing in "quiet" time in the next room.
24. Last thing you ate? Lunch- cheese and some warmed-up homemade rolls. 25. If you were a crayon, what color would you be. Dark’ish red.
26. What is the weather like right now? Overcast, kinda chilly.
27. Last person you talked to on the phone? Cindy Zimbauer, and before that Janna Yuen, and before that my mom. Hmm... maybe Drew was somewhere in there...
28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? If they’re funny.
29. Favorite article of clothing: Jeans that don’t make me look fat (hmm... do I have any of those?)
30. Favorite Drink? Good tasting water, cold but not TOO cold.
31. Favorite Sport? Gymnastics
32. Hair Color? Brown
33. Eye Color? Blue with a bit o’ green.
34. Do you wear contacts? Yup, and glasses, about 50/50
35. Favorite Food? Fettuccine Alfredo, homemade bread too... I like a lot of food {bad Hilary}
36. Last Movie You Watched? Um... I think maybe Meet the Fockers, or Spanglish -- it was a while ago.
37. Favorite Day Of The Year? Mother’s Day -- I DESERVE that day.
38. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? SO happy endings, I HATE scary movies!!!
39. Summer Or Winter? Summer, but sometimes now that I’m a California girl I miss the snow (I know... foolish...)
40. Hugs OR Kisses? Hugs, but a kiss is good every now and then too.
41. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? It was chocolate fondue, but then I had some of this banana stuff at Max’s that was Devine.
42. Your Favorite Restaurant? Gosh, that’s a toughie, I have a lot of favorites. I like La Fondue (but generally out of our price range), B’the bucket is yummy... I like a lot of restaurants...
43. Favorite store: Target, if I REALLY want something, it’s usually in my price range
44. Living arrangements? Married, 2 kids in a small a house.
45. What Books Are You Reading? Sis Boom Bah, also going through the conference talks.
46. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Don’t have one {hanging head in shame -- used it for scrapbooking).
47. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? I was at work... nada.
48. Favorite Smells? Food, good garlicy food
49. Favorite Sounds? Quiet -- aka, no sound. Although, I really like the sound of a new IM.
50. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles (all the way)
51. What's the furthest you've been from home? Washington DC, I think.
52. Do you have a special talent? Umm... I play the flute?
53 What is your ring tone? On our home phone it’s "Old Macdonald" -- on my cell, I have NO idea. Questions answered June 16, 2005

the big picture

So, I was just reading my scriptures {pats on the back}... and I realized that Nephi had NO idea what all those plates he was writing were for... I mean, he probably thought of them as I think of my journal, perhaps a tad more important than that, but probably not much. Imagine as he learned what his plates would be for how amazed he was. I wonder if he thought he should have put more time into them (probably) or written different things. I was then thinking about how many times we do something that we don't know what it's "for" and how important it ends-up being. We just don't see the whole picture down here, which makes it hard.. But, when something's not going quite the way I'd hoped, I'd like to think of Nephi and what a great impact he had, just with some simple writings.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

My thoughts on terri...

So, Terri Shiavo's autopsy came back.... apparently her brain was only 1/2 the size of a normal brain. I'm not typing this facinating blog to slam any of the parties involved. I'm just saying how interesting it is that the human body leaves behind its little clues as to what was really going on. I mean, how sad would it be if our bodies automatically shrivilled up and left no clues. Anyway, I'm glad to see that there's not evidence the husband hurt her, or put her into this state. Sad to see that this couldn't be solved with OUT an autopsy. Good luck Terri, wherever you are!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Never-ending baby clothes

Ok, seriously what IS it with baby clothes?! I mean, I don't know if I'll be more happy when I'm done having kids to give away the baby clothes, or to be done with diapers. When we re-did the windows I found a giant bin of random stuff. I mean, WHAT WAS I THINKING!? Anyway, had to go through it and shift everything around today. I'm already hot. At least god provided me with AC, and apparently a LOT of baby clothes.

Monday, June 13, 2005

In the interest of Fathers Day

So, I went to michael's today to buy scrapbook binders. BTW, I'm on album #18 now and I am FULLY aware that I need another life. I bought one of those stepping stone kits to make for Drew. I thought the kids might think it was fun to do and then put hands in and then put the glass on (more Conner thinking it's fun than Spencer) So, we put their names in (I placed them and Conner pushed) And then we did hands (and I pushed -- btw, the set-up time on cemement's fairly quickly, FYI). Then, it was time for the glass. i said i'd do the heart and Conner could od the rest... of cousre, he wanted to put glass all over the words and the hands... but I was freaking out... really not understanding why he couldn't put stuff on the REST of the freaking stone (and it's a decent size). But, it's HIS project... what's my PROBLEM!? I need to be more hands off... and I'm learning, just seems to be a slow process...

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Fred called me...

So, I've been trying to get into Creating Keepsakes magazine... well, forever (2 years) and they did call me once and it was a traumatizing decision to keep a Hall of Fame entry which I'd sweat blood over, or get in the mag (I chose HOF and didn't win). This time it's for a layout I truly love -- it's all artsy, just some of my most creative work (and it even has PINK on it... SHANNON). I was so happy when I finished... loved the way it looked, and I thought... maybe this will be the one. Well, Fred called yesterday and it was. And ya' know... it's bascially better than Prozac. I spilled salad ALL over myself last night at work, and was STILL happy (and I didn't have enough money to buy another salad). Thanks Fred... Look for my layout in the November CK Idea Annual...

Friday, June 10, 2005

Not a good Mom

So, Conner comes in while I'm showering and says, "Mom I want you to know that you are NOT a very good mom." He then berated me for asking him to clean-up his stuffed animals. I thanked him for his honesty and asked him to leave. I started to think that I've had this particular gig (mom) for the longest of all of my jobs. I have never been told (except for a few bad experiences in nursing school, which is to be expected) that I was a bad nurse. As far as I can remember I've never been told I was a bad scrapbooker... so, this was a first for me. So, I'm a bad mom, and I'm dealing with it.

The new windows....

the "after"shot... and I assure you it's not just the camera change that made the diffetence. :) I LOVE the new windows... Posted by Hello

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Our house "before" picture Posted by Hello

it's NEW WINDOW day

So, we're getting new windows today... new ones in the front, new slider and new bedroom windows. WE ARE HAPPY. We were freezing all winter and they're not particularly pretty. However, this morning as I took pictures of our old windows, I was a little sad that our house was changing. I mean, what makes a person THINK like that? We should always be happy for changes for the good, but sometimes I think it's the change itself that we're sad about... not actually what is changing... kwim? Anyway, I am now sadly shutting down the computer, so everyone send their well wishes to me... :) Gotta protect our assets.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Go fast through the hard parts

So, Conner got a new bike the day of our garage sale... I suppose I should say "new" in that it has a fair amount of rust on it. So, we try and go on walks before or after dinner a few times a week. He invariably falls down on 1 or 2 of the driveways where it slopes down (this bike doesn't have the REALLY wide training wheels). So, I'm always yelling, "go fast during the hard part" becuase he's always slowing down and looking at me all nervous-like during the driveways and then falls down.
I wish life was like that -- we could go fast through the hard parts. For insance, when I'm pushing with people for 3 hours, I woudln't say it goes quickly and it's hard... anyway, I wish we could push a "fast forward" button for parts of my life. I don't see that happening, at least until they make zip-top bellies to get the babies out. :)
New layout about Spence'rs haircut. Again mom, I'm sorry we cut it at all. :) Posted by Hello

Monday, June 06, 2005

Ok, I think this is the first layout I've done about myself, and liked... I'm fairly proud of my self esteem... and btw, the rose paper was a freebie from MM -- I'd never buy anything like that, I was even surprised to see I owned it... :) Posted by Hello
New layout today... I really like how it turned out. American Crafts paper as usual. Posted by Hello

Potty TAlk

Ok, I run in to go potty for a jiffy just now and Conner's toilet is DISGUSTING. I mean, how does it GET that way and I LIVE IN A HOUSE OF BOYS -- am I doomed to have un-clean toilets for the rest of my life I ask you? Well, I'm mortified, and it's all bleached clean now. I hope that anyone who has used it in the past bit will somehow find it in their hearts not to come wretch on my carpet.
Thank you.
P.s. I just notcied I have quite a few blogs on cleaning my bathrooms. I think that is perhaps an ididcator of a mental illness? Anyone?
P.P.S So, I just look over and someone's hands are in his shorts with his "we-wee" (do you get the picture) poking out for all the world to see. Perhaps it's time to ban shorts in our house. I'm not sure I could get over public mortification of THAT kind.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Friday, June 03, 2005

That first disneyland page, with the map page included... I thought they might be fun to look at in a few years. I just put the maps on with repositionable hermafix and then tied a bow around it. You'll notice the black gingham in a couple of the disney layouts -- I am thinking of making it a "theme" Posted by Hello
Another disney layout...There's some serious cropping done by my scanner, but I think you get the gist... Posted by Hello
Strawberry bloom... wish it was a red berry I could eat... Posted by Hello
Conner -- almost 5 Posted by Hello
Some sort of flower in our yard -- Drew knows the name... bird of paradise maybe? Posted by Hello
My little herb garden Posted by Hello
Spencer LOVES to do this with his tongue Posted by Hello
Check out this cute boy... Posted by Hello

Thursday, June 02, 2005

NEW CAMERA Posted by Hello
New Camera Posted by Hello
new camera Posted by Hello
I GOT THE NEW CAMERA!!!! Posted by Hello

China and a castle

Our Castle for July 21st Posted by Hello

So, Drew's sainted sister Kristen is going to babysit our two children (did I mention she's a saint) when we're up there for TWO NIGHTS, Drew and I are going to make the trek to Seattle. We've found two great bed and breakfasts to stay at on our way. The one we're staying at on our way back is the one pictured, it's called Thornwood Castle (A CASTLE) -- we're staying in the presidential suite, in case anyone's looking. We're also staying at the Chinaberry Bed and Breakfast .Anyway, I'm super excited. They both are rated in the TOP PLACES to KISS. Can't get better than that, can you?
Thanks for listening to my dreams. ;) Btw, camera comes today.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Thinking about blogs...

Ok, now almost everything I do is about blogs. i mean, today I'm doing my hair and I'm thinking -- did I clean the bathroom yesterday? And I look around and I can't remember if I did or not, and I can't really tell if it's clean. I thought, WHAT A GREAT BLOG THAT WOULD MAKE! I mean, how big of a loser is that... Although it's true -- I go through the motions of things ALL the time and yet, I can't even tell if anything's really done. But, I mark it off my list and feel real grand about myself. Check me out...btw, I re-cleaned my bathroom if it hadn't already been cleaned. Harumph


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