Friday, September 30, 2005

Ok, it may just be me... but I kind of feel like I stepped out of my little box on this one -- it seems different, but not in a retarded different way. I love it. And the scan cut off the bottom, dang it... Posted by Picasa

I'm fairly sure this is me

My friend Shannon sent me this poem via email. I was reading it, feeling how I basically feel this same way. And oddly enough, a lot of it WAS me... and then it comes to the end... So, peruse it, and I'll see you on the flipside.

The in a Whirl
by ~Dr. SuessT
(a.k.a. Vickie Gunther)

Look at me, look at me, look at me now!
You could do what I do
If you only knew how.

I study the scriptures one hour each day;
I bake,
I upholster,
I scrub,
and I pray.

I always keep all the commandments completely;
I speak to my little ones gently and sweetly.

I help in their classrooms!
I sew all they wear!
I drive them to practice!
I cut all their hair!

I memorize names of the General Authorities;
I focus on things to be done by priorities.

I play the piano!
I bless with my talents!
My toilets all sparkle!
My checkbooks all balance!
Each week every child gets a one-on-one date;
I attend all my meetings (on time! Never late!)

I'm taking a class on the teachings of Paul,
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all
I track my bad habits 'til each is abolished;
Our t-shirts are ironed!
My toenails are polished!
Our family home evenings are always delightful;
The lessons I give are both fun and insightful.

I do genealogy faithfully, too.
It' easy to do all the things that I do!

I rise each day early, refreshed and awake;
I know all the names of each youth in my stake!

I read to my children!
I help all my neighbors!
I bless the community, too, with my labors.

I exercise and I cook menus gourmet;
My visiting teaching is done the first day!
(I also go do it for someone who missed hers.
It's the least I can do for my cherished ward

I chart resolutions and check off each goal;
I seek each lost lamb on my Primary roll.

I can home-grown produce each summer and fall.
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all

I write in my journal!
I sing in the choir!
Each day, I write thank yous to those I admire.
My sons were all Eagles when they were fourteen!
My kids get straight A's!
And their bedrooms are clean!
I have a home business to help make some money;
I always look beautifully groomed for my honey.

I go to the temple at least once a week;
I change the car's tires!
I fix the sink's leak!

I grind my own wheat and I bake all our bread;
I have all our meals planned out six months ahead.

I make sure I rotate our two-years' supply;
My shopping for Christmas is done by July!
These things are not hard;
It's good if you do them;
You can if you try!
Just set goals and pursue them!
It's easy to do all the things that I do!
If you plan and work smart, you can do them all, too!

It's easy! she said...

...and then she dropped dead.

I think I may be on the way to making myself dead. I mean, I expect SO much of myself, work, have my child read by 3.5, help out in the classroom weekly, help out babysitting so I can go to the classroom, keep my house spotless.
NO ONE expects me to do all this, and why do I expect myself.
So, today I give myself a little slack. Perhaps I'll refill my windex bottle and wash a few fingerprints but I need to have a little fun with my life too.... and I need to remember to work that into all I do. :)

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Things I wish My Husband Knew...

As I was strolling back from dropping Conner off at Kindergarten this morning I was thinking that I Wish Drew would take a sick day so he could just understand how CRAPPY it is to get them to school... But, then I was thinking that it wouldn't be the same. Sure, the first day of school was fine. All excited, had my plan, Conner was excited etc. He would never know what it's like to do it day in and day out... The never-ending monotony of this job is what kills a person.
Of course, I wonder what it was that he wished I knew. I'm sure it's hard to go to work every day. I did work a lot during the summer, and I found it tiring, but the most tiring part was knowing I'd have to come home and mother.
There's no way we can walk in one anothers shoes or really feel the same feelings as the other person does, because we're different.
And that's ok.....
P.S. Anyone remember my dreadful Safeway saga? The store manager (who is apparently new) called me this AM to apologize. Perhaps I will visit the safeway on Homestead and kiely again, but probably only in emergencies. :)
P.P.S. Band parents calling at 7 am is NOT ok. I'd like everyone who's reading this to think WOULD YOU CALL YOUR KIDS TEACHER AT 7 AM? Maybe if your kid was , but sheesh people... I can really only take so much.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Today's the Day the Teddy Bears have their PIC...NIC

Ok, LOVED this song when I was little and mostly I love how Conner's teacher lets these kids be kids. They're only this little once, and some day, I fear, he'll be too big to wear a bear hat and parade around school. But, for now we're not and I couldn't be happier.

The parade Posted by Picasa

Group Shot Posted by Picasa

The Actual Picnic Posted by Picasa

Monday, September 26, 2005

When someone cleans to much...

Ok, thought I'd get a jump on the game tonight, get the bathrooms cleaned since I'm gonna be at school with Conner much of tomorrow (I'm helping in the early morning and then it's the Teddy Bear Picnic in the afternoon -- big stuff!). Anyway, toilet cleaner slipped, toilet cleaner sprays all over the toilet seat and lid. I figure it'll be fine, and I'll wipe it off in a minute when I come to clean the toilet (I let the cleaner sit for a minute). So, now our toilet set has blue streaks where it has eaten away into whatever surface is on the actual toilet seat. I'm not so proud of this. BUt, I wanted you all to know, that if you spill it, clean it up fast. Apparently porcelin is all that can take it.

The Craziness of Marriage

My friend just called and she was just so frustrated. I can totally feel her pain. Marriage is SO crazy. I mean, would you ever take 2 people from TOTALLY different walks of life, put them together JUST Because they're in a crazy thing called love and expect them to THRIVE. Never fight, never disagree... and get along ALL the time. HELLO, NO.
I mean, I really think it's a miracle that we get along at all after a year. I am not saying that getting along with my husband is hard, by any means. He is possibly the most patient personality with my crazy emotional-ness. However, we come from VERY different families, and we both have jobs, and we have two boys.
I am grateful for our temple marriage that reminds me that God is a partner in this marriage and with his help I know we can overcome anything.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

check me out... using pink on a layout. Feeling very proud. Posted by Picasa

REALLY simple layout, I'm a big fan of that. I even sent it to MM... hello SHAWNA, I could really use a goodie box. :) Posted by Picasa

Saturday, September 24, 2005

My Thoughts on Women's Conference

Tonight was the General Relief Society Conference for church. For those of my non-member friends, the church's relief society is for the women. It is a service organization, as well as a sisterhood that just helps, and learns together.

When I went I felt SO alone. I'd called a lot of my friends and they weren't going, I did find one that was going but she sat on the other side of the chapel but I felt SO alone. I often wonder if anyone feels as awkward alone as I do. I'm sure they do, but I sure do the feeling of not having friends. I remember when I first moved here I went, and I didn't know anyone else in the room. I just felt sick, felt like I'd never know anyone. Of course, now, here I am 4 years later with similar feelings (although I do feel like I have a lot of friends around me).

Some things that seemed to stick-out was that women naturally have greater feelings of charity towards others and that throughout time we have looked for a way to be an instrument in God's hands. Women who crossed the plains were searching how to best serve God, just as I am.

I also feel a great responsibility to share God's love with everyone around me. I fear that I am far too judgemental on someone's color or choices they've made (smoking, piercings) that i might not be as welcoming as I could be. I need to get over that stuff, and fast.

I also just felt great when several of the speakers said that we are doing better in our lives than we think we are. I tend to be over-critical with myself, but I always feel behind, and I'm glad to know that an apostle of God thinks we're all doing ok.

I then went to dinner with a couple friends. It was so great. The stark contrast of the friendship I felt at dinner vs. how I felt waiting to find a friend at the stake center is interesting. Friendship like that should be something that just keeps me "warm" inside -- being friendly to everyone else, knowing I have great friends "behind" me to back me up.

And that, my friends, is my evening.

Obdeience and Following the prophet

I'd just like to add that this is a talk I'm giving tomorrow in church, so if there's any chance that you'll be there... STOP reading so you can still laugh at the approriate places. :) Again, it's a talk and is written thusly... and NO mom, I won't be reading it, but I kind of wanted to see how long it was...
Obedience and Following the Prophet

1. When my mother calls me… quickly I’ll obey, I want to do just what is best, each and everyday. I love this song (especially the mom part), and perhaps it’s even what I think heaven’s like. Me asking for things to get done… and them getting done. Simple pleas, get in your carseat – done. Get your shoes on – Done Clean-up your room – Done. Don’t hit your brother – Done. I think all moms would agree with me there.

2. I’d like to introduce our family which will perhaps give you an idea of why I hold a primary song in such high standing. My husband, is Drew – he’s the one suffering with our 2 kids with the sainted Yuens. He is the music teacher at Santa Clara High School. He is from Preston, ID, went on a mission to Seoul Korea and graduated in Music Education from BYU, which is where we met. I, am Hilary, I grew-up in Provo, UT. I am a labor and delivery nurse at Regional Medical Center and O’Connor Hospital. I graduated in nursing from BYU. Drew and I met in a singles ward at byu . We have two boys. Our oldest is Conner, he just started Kindergarten at Ponderosa Elementary School. And then we have Spencer – he just entered nursery and I couldn’t be happier.

3. Of course, with a family of 2 boys it’s not surprising I’m begging for a simple song to be followed sometimes the song is sang through clenched teeth as someone’s having a tantrum as fighting and looting is breaking out all over our house. As I was thinking about this song, recently I wondered if Heavenly Father ever feels this way. He calls us, do we obey? For many of us, I fear that our obedience is possibly in line with my 2 boys.

4. As I said, I work as a labor and delivery nurse. It is imperative that we follow our policy and procedure manual. Many nurses call it our “bible” which is amusing since I’m fairly sure most of them regard the bible, itself, as a waste of paper. The policy and procedure manual helps us to have healthy moms and healthy babes. Which is what all of us want. When the policy and procedure manual is not followed, we leave ourselves open to poor outcomes and possible litigation.

5. I find that in order to follow my policy and procedure manual I have to know what it says. Of course, I don’t know what it says on every topic, but the main ones are emblazoned on my mind. I find that’s the same with anything, especially following our prophets. There are several ways to hear the words of our prophet, to make sure we can obey. We can listen to General Conference, and surprisingly enough I was given this particular topic just days before the October General Conference. Our family prefers to watch General Conference in our jammies with an orange roll in hand. However, young children are at times shockingly distracting and sometimes I’m not as able to listen to the talks as I might hope. That’s when the Ensign comes in handy. Each of the GC talks are printed in the next month’s Ensign. I have used this lately as the topics for our family home evening. Of course, they’re watered down to the primary level but I try and use inspiration from each of the apostle’s and first presidency’s talks to base the lesson on. I feel like they’re extremely relevant to our day and stress what’s really important. Thankfully I feel like those topics which are really important to us are stressed several times each year. Things like not going into debt, having a little savings and staying away from pornography seem to be stressed often. Repition is just a symbol that we truly haven’t “got” it… and we need reminders, much like “sharing, or not hitting” is often stressed around my house. We can also read the prophets each month in the Ensign. I am sure we are all aware of the recent plea from President Hinckley for each of us to be striving to thread the book of Mormon before the end of the year. I believe Drew will talk more on this later., but I will add my testimony that this has truly brought a better spirit into our home as he said it would. We can’t say that our prophets are unaccessible, it’s easy to find the guidance they give.

6. Of course, once you find-out all the rules, sometimes you can be overwhelmed. I recently wrote a blog entry about you to balance a generous fast offering, providing yourself with savings, etc. A friend of mine wrote me back saying that was a problem in her life too. I remember when we were both hanging-in there with our husbands as they finished their undergraduate degrees and we were both pregnant. We wondered how we could stay out of debt, pay an honest tithing and a generous fast offering, how we could both stay at home with our children, how our husbands and ourselves could receive and education and how we could also set-aside some for savings or emergencies. That task can be truly daunting, and sometimes you feel like you need to, but can’t follow everything.

7. I lived in the Regency Apartments while I lived at BYU they are a girls-only apartment complex and BYU has a great rule called the “Chastity line.” Aka, members of the opposite sex should not be crossing that line, it usually has to do with where the bedrooms are. However, the bathrooms in the apartment were behind the chastity line. There were “public” restrooms in the laundry room but that closed at 10 pm. Which, if you had a friend over past 10 pm and they had the wrong chromosomal make-up they needed to find a close bush. However, my roommates and I found that this didn’t make us feel like the best hostesses. I remember my roommate, who was then the relief society president, asked our bishop what we should do. He told us the great Joseph Smith line, “Teach them correct priciples and let them govern themselves.” Of course, we found that it depended on the situation. Hopefully we could not have boys in our apartment so late, but sometimes parties happen, and we would hope that there would be a boy there from a nearby complex that would allow them to use their facilities. And, at times we had to let them cross the line and use our facilities. Of course, prior to that we shut all the doors to bedrooms. We got through it, and felt fine about our decisions. I’d also like to add that if I could not have boys in my bathroom now, I think the world might be a brighter place for all of us. Life is full of balancing priciples – being honest while not hurting feelings. I find it is one of the toughest things about life.

8. My dad was a bishop at a BYU ward when President Benson gave a talk at, I believe, General Conference that Women should not be working outside the home. Boy, oh boy was there an uproar. These women felt like they’d spent their time at BYU getting their degree and they needed to use it. I think some of them chose not to follow this and some of them prayed for a testimony of their own. I am grateful for the principle that we need to pray on the guidance the prophets give us to know how that priciple fits best into our lives. I don’t think it’s smart to live blindly by everything they say and not have a true testimony of this in our own lives. This particular issue has been an issue in my own life, being that I do work outside the home 1-2 nights/week. However, I do have a testimony that this principle is true. When I don’t work our family is happier… and when I work a lot, well, it isn’t. It’s just that simple. However, in order to follow the counsel not to go into debt, as well as keep-up my lisencure and skills should a band teacher not be needed, we have had to have a little income from my side, also we are able to use sitters fairly rarely because my husband can watch the children after school. Our lives are a never-ending flex where I feel like there will be a day when it is imperitive that I not work, and at that point I will have to make that decision. That is where staying close to the spirit can come in handy.

9. One of my favorite stories in the doctrine & convenants is the story abut Joseph Smith and Martin Harris and the plates. Joesph asked several times if he could PUHLLEEEZE let Martin take the gold plates to show his wife. And God, much like myself after being worn-down after repeated whining. Fine, take ‘em but I told you not to. Then, Martin loses them and he and Joesph are both in the doghouse. I am grateful to know that a religious giant like Joseph Smith makes mistakes and also that sometimes things didn’t go like he had planned. He wasn’t obedient and he paid a price for it. I also truly appreciate the scripture D&C 3:3 “It is not the work of God that is frustrated, but the work of men.” Meaning that god’s work will always go forward, regardless of how many mistakes I stupidly make.

10. Conner and I have been reading Mrs. Piggle Wiggle together. I have loved Mrs. Piggle Wiggle since I was a young girl and I am hoping that perhaps the stories in there will teach Conner a lesson. That lesson of course being that we are happier when we do right things. For those of you less-cultured than I. Mrs. Piggle Wiggle is a woman who takes children into her home to teach them the lessons that good little chidren need to learn. On our most recent adventure with Mrs. PW we found Fetlock, who was a horrible liar. She took him up on his lies, asked him to ride her horse after he said that he was a world champion cowboy, asked him to milk her cow after he said he’d lived on a dairy ranch. Fetlock soon learned that it was much easier to tell the truth than to lie, and also that people had much more respect for those that were honest. I think this is the greatest lesson of obedience. It’s not like God and the prophets are going to ask us to do something that wouldn’t bless us. We are truly happier when we follow the advice of the brethren.
11. In closing I’d like to remind everyone that Conference is just next week, and while it is rare that a giant new doctrine will come-about in the new conference it is awfully important that we be reminded of the “policies and procedures” that will help our lives to be happier, more peaceful and more in like with those God would want us to live.

Not EVERY photo's perfect...

A new layout. I think I have a for Chatterbox sitckers. Anyone else? Posted by Picasa BTW, I think the layout scanned weird, the photos aren't the best (thank you stage lighting)... but they're not face-less, like this one looks.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Can't decide and not sure WHY I'm deciding

MAN, I just wrote this post, and it deleted it. It's really bummin' me out.
I have really felt like I needed to quit one of my jobs. I have two, and I'd give myself a self-proclaimed quit date as of this next week. It's tearing me apart, so I kind of wanted to do a "pro" and "con" list.
Hospital A (first hospital I worked at here):
Pros: The staff. They're great friends, I'd trust them with my life and they're SO fun to work with. Truly great gals. They have a great educator and she really helps bring concepts together.
Cons: They don't have a steady population base, I am note guaranteed hours, although that's true for all per diem situations, you are the low-man on the totem poll.
Hospital B (I've been here just under a year)
Pros: There are a few nurses on the staff whom I love. But, most seem to be there to get their job done, and they leave. Rare to find comraderie or love in this workplace. They have a TON of patients for the last year. Too many, in fact. SEems like we're always understaffed. However, this does mean I can pick up a fair amount of on call, and wage-earning opportunities.
Cons: I think I named them above. But this hospital doesn't have an educator and I feel like if I stayed there I'd just kind of "float" (and not really learn much).

I think my heart stays to stay at hospital A and my head says to stay at B. I am obviously more at home at A... and money's not all I'm in this for.

Can anyone see which way I'm leaning? My mom mentioned tonight why I feel like I need to leave either. A good question, and I would think that after some talking with management I could maybe do it... Just not sure. Family is my #1 priority, and I need it to stay that way, I just worry that I'm hurting the family by keeping both. Drew's totally behind me with whatever, but totally not pushing me one way or the other. {Sigh}


Thursday, September 22, 2005

A New Layout...

Since I FINALLY finished my ACLS course, I can get back to scrapping. For those of you interested, I'm helping out with a scrapbook thingy at church on October 15th, I'll be there til' around 1 I'm thinking. I'll be there tips and scrapbook lovin'. :)
This page is about my friend and SIL Kristin, and her family. That's right the SAINT that watched our kiddos. She's awesome and I love her whole fam. Even Thor.
Miss you guys!
 Posted by Picasa

Helpful words from the con-dude

Here's COnner, he's in the corner playing with a coloring book he got from the local utilties last week at the food and wine festival (we had neither for OR wine, fyi).
"We should not waste our natural resources"
"We should not go outside and not shut the door."
"We should not do what Satan wants us to do, like drink coffee."
The kids a smartie.


I took my ACLS (advanced care life support -- it's the class where we learn how to shock people and play like we're on ER). I took it with about 8 other nurses from Regional and it was fun to see everyone. However, in the last hour week take a couple of tests (multiple choice) and they had a proctor until most of the smart people (at least they're smart in this area, because they use it more often than we do) had left. Then, the proctor left and boy, did my compadres start talking amongst themselves.

I was thoroughly disappointed. Nary a peep when the proctor was there and I know that several people were discussing answers once the proctor left.

Now, I knew there were questions I was missing (aka, had NO idea on) and perhaps I'd have to take the test again after I turned my answer sheet in... but seriously?

It's interesting to think that God is always watching us, but they seemed to be more interested in the proctor.

So, I passed and the drama's over for 2 years. Interesting to note human nature though, and I'm always in that class.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Just when you think...

Ok, just when I wrote my non-judgmental blog last night, I came home from Enrichment and totally judged the class. Now, it WAS the class, mind you, and not the person, but I feel badly anyway. I totally could've had a better attitude in the class, and taken away a few morsels, or even tried what she'd said, but instead I just sat there thinking. Are you SERIOUS, use a FLASH?
So, I'm gonna try and use my flash more often. And perhaps even shoot in direct sunlight. Of course, my children don't pose, so that's not even a question.
And now, perhaps a little attention to Spencer, instead of the blog. :)

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Judgement day

So, my friend swore in her blog. If anyone was in my mind they'd think I was a sailor instead of a pseudo-stay-at-home mom -- for I think much more than I say. I have edited my tongue quite a bit from my days working at the nursing home. Something, in fact, that I am proud of.
However, when I heard about the comments I had some thinking to do. When I hear someone swear (or hear about some lacivious sin or {gasp} see them smoke {double-gasp) I fear that I may make judgements about their actions as well. It's not as if my friend was out in the middle of the road spewing words like a hose, but she had a VERY trying day. So, instead of thinking gosh, her life must suck, how can I help (and yes, Dr. Robbins I did just use the word suck... deal) we think, "I really wish she wouldn't say that... I'm going to tell her how bad she is so she doesn't do it anymore." And, although I doubt that whoever made the comment to my friend started off to make her feel bad, in part it was the end result. I know that the person who made the comment lives miles away but I know for a FACT that asking how you can help someone out in a sorry situation has GOT to be more Christlike than telling them that a particular decision they've made has been a bad one.
So, in closing I'd like to hope that I would look a tad more inward, realize that people make mistakes, that it's not particularly my job to point them out but that it IS my job to help them. Period.

Monday, September 19, 2005

how much to give

I am often in a Mormon query. How much do I give? How much is too little, how much is too much? This mostly relates to fast offering, but I've felt it more as we have been giving for the humanitarian aid stuff. I know that God doesn't want us to give away so much that we're unable to provide for our own family. However, define "provide" -- I'm fairly sure it doesn't mean cable internet and date nights (although it may include date nights). We're not rich, we're not poor, we do OK... and we definately give more than we would usually spend on 2 meals.
I think that you have to go with your "gut" (or the Spirit, as we LDS might say). but, sometimes I worry my gut's greedy. :)

Saturday, September 17, 2005

I apparently do better with no pressure....

A new layout I did this morning. Shannon M. challenged me to do a layout with a hand-written title. Obviously this is not my particular genre, but I like how I got all the kids with their names and age on it. Since we have so few pictures of cousins, I wanted to get that info on here. The title, in case you can't tell is "cousins" -- and this page reminds me of one I did in 1994. Posted by Picasa

Friday, September 16, 2005

In other workout news

Perhaps, during martial low (see post below) I don't need to work-out as much. Today, I had to carry Conner (he's nearing 40 pounds) back to the chair 3 times after he ran away. I also took away his dog (Pluto -- stuffed). There was much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth (not sure if it was mine or Conners). I thought I was gonna have a corononary after that little attempt.

Just got off my walk

So, I walked today about 1/2 hour. Fairly proud of myself. Plus, I went a new way. For some reason I've felt like I've just had to go in circles around my neighborhood, but today I strode-out. And here's my 2 things I noticed today.
1. What's up with a chain link fence in FRONT of your house. Total loser of curb appeal. And when you're living on a quiet street, I just do NOT get it.
2. What's up with NO GUTTERS? I was walking along and was thinking, "they don't have gutters" and then like 3 houses right in a row didn't have gutters. HELLO, we live in TERMITE-ville. Plus, who wants the rain just pouring off your head as you step out of your house. I'm guessing these are rental properties....

A simple time

So, I didn't read my scriptures yesterday. Something always got in the way and I can specificly remember having the arguement in my head that it was more important to play with Spencer than to read them. I think I was wrong. Thursdays are always an exceedingly long day. Drew doesn't get home til' 6 and usually goes right back to school after an hour anyway. Yesterday was back to school night for Drew, so he didn't come at all.
Why don't I realize that I need God's help EVERY day in my life (espeically Thursdays). Things don't need to get in the way of that (especially cleaning the bottom of my tub, thanks flylady). I really need to make the effort to bring Him into my life more often.
It's ward temple day at the temple tomorrow. I'm in charge of taking pictures of the kids at the temple, I Think it'll be great. It's great to show them how awesome the temple is, inside and out. I hope I can teach my children how important it is for them to have God's hand in their own lives.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Martial Law

First off, why do I get so peeved that other people haven't changed their blogs (ah, hem... lagraphic) when I haven't changed my own in a timely manner. The mote is in my own eye, if you kwim.
So, this is Conner. This is Conner on a serious "testing" phase of his life. I took these pictures the other day in an attempt to show some attention and love. It was obviously useless. Of course, after much pondering I realize the problem is with me. I've become lax, I let things slide and then I've just pushed the showball that starts the inobedient avalanche. Mountains of inobedient crap hurtling towards me until I have to send-up a parachute and send my "find me" signal. After digging myself out after school I realize that martial law is in order. No sass, no disobedient actions. Nothing. So, get out your guns, the martial's in town and we'd better reinforce the naughty chair because these times, they are a changin'.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Check me out

Wow, look at me, editing HTML, or whatever this internet code thing is called. My friend Erica Hernandez had put a header in her cheap (aka, free) blog and I was so impressed I emailed her and asked her for directions. It just took a bit of fixing, and look at THAT header. I also learned how to make stuff in my Paint Shop Pro. I'm feeling fairly fine I must say.
Anyway, just the feeling of accomplishment (even if it did take 2 hours) feels so great. Please, everyone pat me on the back.

How do you know when you NEED Prozac?

Ok, seriously. This blatant dis-regard of my "rules" around here is driving me nuts. Playdough on the new chair, jumping on the couch, telling me how much he s me... I can NOT TAKE IT. I know that this is a new phase in his life... but today I was trying SO HARD. Fun jar activities as a reward (it's something we do together) but then he just stopped doing anything worthy of reward.
Of course, Drew telling me that I let him watch too much TV (that's right folks ONE hour -- Mr. Rogers and Zaboomafoo) was basically the icing on the cake but I feel like I'm in a darkness I'm unable to crawl out of. I guess I'll give it a few more days. If it's a phase that's gonna be over soon... I sure hope so...

The work-out blog is back on

Ok, summer's over. Sad to say. Spencer, for instance, is crying right now. Anyway, now that I'm not working like a banshee, and Conner's rooted into school I am ready to resume my weight-loss regimen. Today, I walked 25 minutes. I feel moderately sweaty, and my legs are tingling in all the right places. Burn, baby burn. Anyone else do anything they'd care to share?
On a sadder note, Spencer fell asleep on our little walk, and I am hoping he'll still go down this afternoon. He's too little to think that's a nap... right? It was like 10 minutes, if that.
I also noted that I am not particularly fond of people that don't take care of their yards. I understand if it's in process (because ours was for a copule months this summer) but SHEESH... do SOMETHING. Just cover it with bark.
Anyway, I think I've been judgemental enough for this morning. I'm gonna make me and the Spencer dude some lunch.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Why WOULD we need a minivan

So, the Ericksons have been saving for a minivan, and no this blog is not to annouce the need for the 3rd seat, in fact today I'm wondering why I'd need it at all. I can not take my children lately! They are driving me totally insane, and the next day I will have with out them (if, I am unable to convince my mother to come assist) is sometime in November. I do not know what to do! We even had a sitter last night and I am still just dying today. Everything drives me nuts, everything makes a mess and I am losing it. And, I've been thinking about perhaps a third lately and today I don't know if I can mange it. I can't take two, seriously can NOT take them...
I know plenty of you have husbands that work a lot. What do you do? What can I do?
Conner has completely not been obedient since Kindergarten started. I think I may ask his teacher if she has any bright ideas tomorrow. Has anyone else's kid been like this since Kindergarten started?
It is a constant "mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom," unless he is eating or I am directly working with him.
Anyway, I'm to the losing point, and Drew of course, chose tonight to do home teaching. Drowning s, I am drowning.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Sometimes you don't know

So, I went to band this morning, "helped" out a little. I fear I only see flaws, and I'm a yeller. Perhaps it's a nice way to get out some agression. The kids were impressed with how loud I can yell. I'm fairly sure I can yell louder now, as a mother, than I could as a drum major.
Then, I went to a baby shower. I'd like to admit that I am not a big shower fan, but it was SO nice to just be able to sit down. No one screaming in my face, no house to clean. Drew wasn't able to watch the kids (shocking, but true, he was at BAND). So, my friend Emily's husband watched the boys. It was huge. I mean, just to have some talk even for an hour totally rejuvenated me. AND, since Spencer was totally asleep by the time we got home, and I popped in a movie for Conner, I can have a little relaxation.
Anyway, what her husband did was huge for me. I have been SO tired of my kids lately, and my life. I feel underappreciated and overworked and over-tired and really bored. I'm sure he doesn't know how huge it was for me. They don't have kids, and some day, they will. Sometimes I wonder if I'm "there" for people in ways to help them out like this. Not big things for me, but huge things for them. I pray that I'm able to do those kinds of things.
And now, I'm going to tidy up a bit.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Loser of the flies

So, ok (happy Amie?) my friend Shannon (keep going Shannon) made me consider joining flylady. And besides the tons of email (and I'm talking tons here, no small amounts) it's kind of great. Of course, thanks to my mom I'm already partially fly-lady in that I have certain chores set for each day so that I don't feel overwhelmed by housecleaning all at once.
So, tonight I'm home alone (feel free to come find me all the bad guys out there) and I decide i'm gonna do my "zone" for today and then I see I've already gotten my zone email for tomorrow -- and it's cleaning under my sink. I'm wondering how I'm gonna do that with Spencer around. So, I decide to do both zones tonight. That's right ladies, I spent a perfectly good Thursday afternoon cleaning out my baggie drawer and under my sink. And, I was even happy when I was done.
I'm thinking that Drew needs to quit trombone choir, but as I look at my life I wonder why he's home at all.

fancy SIMPLE layout about our Harry Potter fun. Posted by Picasa

A fun one about family... guess who got the new Chatterbox stickers!!!! Posted by Picasa

Telling someone they're wrong

So, last night we had a 28 weeker deliver, and then the doctor went-in and was telling her all the things she did wrong (in some ways to cover his buns, I'm guessing). I just thought how inappropriate to make her think that this is all her fault. Sometimes babies just ocme. Period.
I was thinking then, about how I do this fairly often. I mean, when something bad happens, trying to decide what you did wrong or what the other person did wrong isn't what you should be doing in the moment. I see that a lot with the hurricaine. People being on TV and complaining, instead of inviting people into their homes. I know that later, you need to sit-back and perhaps reflect on what could have been done better.
And, obviosuly being mad does nothing.
So, for all the times I've done this to Drew, I'm sorry.
And now, it's time for a nap my friends....

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Saved by the hoses

Ok, so i'm throwing the kids' laundry in this morning. And something flies behind the washer. I'm on the phone, but I'm freaking out inside. I mean, HOW am I going to get behind the washer. It's times like this I think I should get those little "grabber" things that old people get to reaching things on higher shelves when they're in a wheelchair or something. But, anyway, back to the story. I throw the rest in, and I look behind and the sock (and it's a favorite sock) had landed on one of the hoses and was within arm's reach. I was so grateful as I pulled that sock off the hose and I said a little prayer of gratitude, know that God knew I could take more on my plate today, including pulling out the washer.
I wonder how many times my "sock lands on the hose" and I don't even notice it. And, perhaps worse I don't even thank God for saving my booty. I am going to try harder to keep my socks from falling behind the washer, but in times when tradgedy just happens, I'll try and thank God more often for saving my bacon when I didn't even know it was on the fire.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

For the love...

Ok, I was never fond of Drew's apartment. Boys are messy. It's a fact, in fact -- possibly to the point of disgusting. I go to Drew Conner for church on Sunday and I find a little puddle (yellow in color) on the floor. I was freaking out, what that it was SUnday morning and there's NOTHING more that I love to do than clean-up a pee puddle in my sunday clothes. Anyway, we get home and I find-out he used a particular body part as a light saber and the liquid coming out of that body part was the LIGHT. Well, it's just not something I thought of as a . I told him that if he wanted to keep that particular lights saber, he'd better point it in the toilet.
HOW DID MY LIFE GET LIKE THIS? My "guest" aka, "kids" bathroom is always stinky and I just don't have the will to clean it EVERY day. I did, however clean it today, and I'm going to try and figure out ways to get it to be better. Maybe a plug-in... Hmm....

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Out of his little shell

Ok, so Spencer is a HILARIOUS little kid and frankly, either he wasn't until just now or I just haven' noticed. It's the little things he does, the way he mimics our speech, the way he puts his sippy cup down and tries to sit on it like it's a chair. The way he cries whenever I'm not carrying him (ok, not so funny... but it's amusing that he thinks he's so sly to manipulate me at 18 months old). Spencer, you're ana amazing kid and now that you're the star of our home from 8-12:30, I hope I notice it more.

The underground tour of Seattle was probably the most different tour we'd been on, what with the possibility of meeting rats (and perhaps even FLEAS Shannon)... but, very interesting. One of those fun things we could do without kids.  Posted by Picasa

Friday, September 02, 2005

K, WHO gets the award for th emost picutres on a layout? That's right, me... that's who. A layotu about our trip to Thornewood Castle. This also gets the most crooked scan layout award, but you can't get both... that'd be mean. :) Posted by Picasa

A little update

The Grass: You'll be glad to know that although you can see a few streaks of where I went a little heavy with the grass killer, so far -- basically still green. I hope it stays that way. Please keep my grass in your prayers.
School: I know it's only the first week, but I don't have a clue what private schools could be offering these kids that Conner's teacher isn't already doing. She's great, I love her... can't get enough of it all.
Spencer: Today we read books, did a few letter flashcards and we learned how to say A. That's right folks, he's saying the word A. Not with any particular flashcard, but he's saying it... and in my book that's progress. We also played a bit and did a round of ring around the rosey. Big fun.
So, basically the week is going swimmingly. Hope yours are too!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

I am obviously in a "lots of pictures" mood... enjoy, me and the alien, in particular. Posted by Picasa

A new layout, wish blogger would be normal again... a new layout about our fancy trip to WA. Posted by Picasa

First Full Day

Ok, so today was Conner's first full day. Ok first off, WHAT DO YOU DO WITH AN 18 MONTH OLD?! Now, I realize that I was working a lot when Conner was this age I worked a lot, and perhaps sleep-walked through most of it... but all he wants is to be held or watch TV or play. These are not fun. Who's gonna go kick the ball with me? I suppose I'll adjust.
They are so small. Kindergarteners are small. I know, to you that may seem like a simple statment, but as I saw them all running back from lunch I was like, "THEY ARE SO TINY, and we expect them to learn skills?" Anyway, Conner already has skills, but he's still small. It's good to learn 'em young.
I have found a few kindred moms, which makes me feel happy. I always want to have friends wherever I go. Now, if only we can set-up some playdates...

For my frequent blogger readers, you might remember this day... Posted by Picasa


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