LIKE A FOOL, I watched that stupid ABC docu-drama about September 11th. I was left feeling hopless (yet, glad — because my file folders were finished). There’s such an emotional tie to that day. For me, it’s the fear that there will most likely be many worse things that happen. Most likely, I will be in a situation similar to what I just saw played out on TV. I enjoy nothing less then feeling hopeless. So, tonight I had to sit down and name 5 things that give me hope.
1. My faith. My family is forever, those who have faith should not fear. That doesn’t mean that I don’t fear… but it means that I shouldn’t. I hope to increase in my faith so that I am not so afraid…
2. My family, although this is one of the biggest reasons I felt hopeless. On September 11th, I decided I was done having children. I didn’t think that ANYONE needed to be brought into an evil world where people killed thousands of innocent civillians uselessly. Obviously, I did have another child. My children do bring me hope. I wish that all moms were like me. Teaching right from wrong, teaching that a loving God would never want their little boys to kill innocent lives. I wonder what those boy’s moms thought.
3. Scrapbooking. I know, that if I’m ever taken there is a lasting memory of me. Practically every moment of my son’s lives is documented. I can’t even talk about this anymore… but I do find solice in it.
4. My file folders are done (yes, truly feeling helpless and scraping the barrel).
5. Faith. Alright, it’s true. The only thing that brings hope is faith. Knowing that God will protect us, knowing that if we choose the right, even if we do have terrifying moments, someday everything will be ok.
I think I need to go say a prayer right now.
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