Walking into the depts of Hell

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My friend is set to have a baby. I am supposidly going to go assist, perform a pseudo-doula type thing (of course I’m a VERY highly educated doula full of wit and charm). I’m excited to help her and free her from the tight bands of pregnancy… but part of me wants her to keep that baby in FOREVER.

I was talking with another friend last night about HOW much your life changes after that first baby. It was honestly the WORST time in my life. I don’t look back at Conner’s new-born hood and have ANY positive feelings. I remember thinking my fingernails were going to fall off from all the finger feeding. I remember SCREAMING if my bra shifted agains my boob, I remember having psycho dreams from the lack of sleep and the reglan i was on to help increase milk production… I remember finally, after almost a week, leaving the house for the first time since getting my breast pump on day 3. I almost had a panic attack on the road because of all the cars. I remember feeling like failure. I had never failed at something and been SO tired doing it. And then, came week #2. Life started to fall into place. I turned into my nazi mom self who got her little dude onto a schedule and suddenly I started to appear. It’s amazing the changes you feel as week #2 begins…

I even have a hard time when I see my patients leaving the hospital. But, as I see my sweet dear friends walk into the very depths of hell (and after having a child I’ve always envisioned hell as just that) I wince… So, does anyone else have any tips for getting through the whole post-partum period? Besides pray it goes by fast?

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  1. says

    Sleep. Make your mom come stay with you. Sleep. Make someone else cook. Sleep. Don’t feel bad about not answering the phone or telling people to come see the baby next week. Sleep.

    Wish I knew all that after I had my first. :)

  2. says

    That is such a tough time in life. I had a super hard time the first time around myself (thanks to a spinal headache, major episiotomy, and on and on). I did NOT want to have another child for a long time, that’s for sure. I agree with what Lara said. Tell them to sleep as much as possible and just have visitors come the next week.

  3. Eliza says

    I did sleep whenever I could and didn’t have visitors during that first week (except for our parents and Brent’s sister). It was STILL a hard week that I try not to remember often. Oh the pain… every time you sit or stand, pain. Every time you start a feeding, lots of pain. Every time you go to the bathroom, yet more pain.

    I wish someone would’ve had more advice to give me, because I still don’t know. Somehow I made it through alive. So I guess I would say that it helps to tell yourself that nothing lasts forever.

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