Whatwouldyouadone?

So, yesterday was just ONE of those parenting days, and I’m just wondering what other people do/woudl do in these situations? Feel free to judge my lack of parenting skills.
1. So, Conner’s invited to a party, I’ve met the parents at school and the entire class is invited. I take him, it’s at a pool but he’s promised he won’t get in (and he doesn’t have his suit with him) the parents say they’re not wanting the kids in the pool and there’s a jumper. I’m hesitant to leave, but I do. First off, do you guys leave your kids at parties if you don’t know the parents very well? I only left for about an hour and came back, I figure he’s gotta be left on his own at some point, and where it was all kids from his class I figured that was the best time to give it a try….
2. I come back, Conner’s in the pool wit his clothes TOTALLY on, well — he took his shirt, shoes and socks off — but the jeans and undies are still on. Now, I’m glad he didn’t go naked(as my mom reminded me), but Conner isn’t a great swimmer, and up until yesterday he refused to get in the pool without a floatie on. Mom of the party is nowhere to be seen and other kids are in with their clothes on too. This is a mobile home park, so there are other kids in the pool besides just the party kids. Would you have gone and found the mom (some of the other class moms are stayed and are watching their kids, I told them goodbye)? I just marched Conner out. Normally we would’ve found her to tell her thank you but being that he was dripping and I was livid with him, we just left (I’m not mad at the mom of the party, I figure it was my responsibility and Conner’s to know better).
3. I fa-REAKED out on Conner. Mostly because he doesn’t know how to swim that well and I wasn’t there, but also because he and I had a discussion about it and we had decided together that he would not go in the pool this weekend, but that we’d find a friend with a pool and we’d all go soon. He had to write down all the things he’d done wrong, he got an extra job, and he has very limited decision making for a bit. Can anyone think of a better punishment? Are you the type of mom where it’s grounding all the time, or are you the type that would let it slide? What would you have done? Parenting is such a crap shoot… but I like to learn from my peeps.

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Comments

  1. says

    Well, first of all, I would be at least a bit miffed at the mom of the party. Because, she knew that some parents left their children in her care, she needed to be around. ESPECIALLY when there is a pool involved. It would really bug me that she was nowhere around when you came back and that there were kids in teh pool when she had said they wouldn’t be swimming. Yes, Conner had some responsibility, but he isn’t the adult in this situation. And I imagine, that if other kids were doing it, he figured it was okay. (Not that I think he shouldn’t be disciplined for disobeying you).

    Anyway, otherwise we’ve already talked about it.

  2. says

    I’m confused. So it wasn’t a pool party? If I knew there was a pool there I probably would not have left. I’m too paranoid about water period. Even if it was someone I knew I would want them to manage tons of kids around a pool. Regardless with Conner agreeing to refrain he’d definately have to have a consequence what ever fits. Along with explaining why it get’s you so upset (safety etc.) As for the Mom I would have been too upset to face her. And I would avoid future visits as she seems irresponsible. Man I could go on and on.

  3. says

    1. I’d be mad at the mom. Totally irresponsible.
    2. I’d punish Connor. He needs to know that even if everyone’s doing something else, he should do what he promised you.
    3. I wouldn’t have left Connor at the pool party. Well, I wouldn’t have left my son. I fall under the really paranoid category. If there had been no pool, or maybe if I had known the parents REALLY well, then maybe . . . But with strange parents, I’d have stuck around and probably had him leave in a half hour or so.
    4. My son is younger than Connor, so maybe these opinions will have changed by the time he gets to be Connor’s age. I don’t know.

    I think you’re handling it as best as you can.

  4. says

    Oh I would be so mad at the Mom. No where around and kids are in the pool? The other moms probably stayed out of sheer fright so their kids wouldn’t drown (but you didn’t know that before you left). So 1)I would never take Conner back to that kid’s house and 2)Have a talk about peer pressure and saying no and doing the right thing. I already have had to do that with my younger son when he did something I told him not to do but he did anyway because a friend asked him to.