Look Up In the Dictionary under “Freaking Out”

You’ll see a picture of me.
Heavenly Father has been gracious to grant my request to live a life that isn’t consumed by the fact that my ultrasound is today. I’m sure many of you are thinking I’m freaking out about gender… but not so.
I tried to explain it to my friend Lara, in a musical term.
You are in charge of the musical performance for the evening, and you’ve heard this particular performance go VERY badly before (in fact, you can think of 100 ways how the performance might go badly), and you are completely in charge but have no control and if the performance goes badly it will change your entire life. And that’s where I am right now.
Freaking out.
Thankfully, I scheduled it for a Tuesday. I’m helping in Conner’s class and we have preschool. I won’t have much time to let my mind wander. And believe me, it wanders — kidneys, heart, brain… it wanders over all those areas, and I must admit working more in the perinatal clinc has not helped things {sigh}.
So, today — 1:30. Hold your breath.

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