Oprah and Talking to Kids About Sex

Just finshed my DVR’d talking to your kids about sex. I was fairly interested. I made Drew have the “talk” with Conner on the suggestion from our pediatrician that 8 was a great age to talk about the mechanics. Conner (and, actually Spencer now too) knows that daddies provide the sperm and that there are boy sperm and girl sperm, and which ever one gets to the egg first chooses the sex of the baby. (sidenote: We have the usborne Flip Flap Body Book which just gives a brief overview about how babies are made, I really like it — nothing sexual, just some brief mechanics — and because it also goes over other stuff like how you digest your food, etc — it seems more like a physiology lesson, rather than something to be uncomfortable with).

So, Drew went over a little more of the mechanics of it all. Conner has also known from a very young age that there are serious consequences for miss-using the power to make babies. I’ve delivered a handful of 14 year olds, and have seen one 13 year old — and I have friends who’ve delivered 12 year olds. I think he was like 3 and he said “was the 14 year old married?”, and we then had the talk about how everyone makes decisions and that girl and boy made a very bad one. I then went on to discuss about how you can make the decision to make a baby before you’re married, but it’s not a smart one and in our family we only make babies once we’re married because that is best for both us and the baby.

Of course, Laura Behrman went too far, as she always does. Of course, sex is her life.

I think the main conversation those moms need to have with their daughters (and with a little vagina growing inside me, I’m already trying to think about ways to ingrain these ideas in her) is that it’s not about the sex. It’s about what an amazing woman/girl they are, and if the boy can’t see that then they’re not worth the time you’d provide to pleasure them. I think I have a fairly high self esteem, but without my church background I think I would’ve gone/done almost anything to get a boy’s attention for a few brief years in my life. Thankfully, I had a support system. And now look at me, all knocked up and home alone (Drew’s at trombone choir).

Maybe if Laura Behrman’s mom would’ve taught her that she could spend a little less time on herself {eh, hem} and a little more time making a difference in the world, building a family (does she have kids?) or building relationships with those around us that don’t revolve around good vibrations.

On a completely different note I have friends who are facinated that I didn’t have sex until I was married, that I didn’t have a “test drive” and personally I’m thinking there were other things I’d rather have test drove — his ability to balance the checkbook, his cleaning skills, his ability to withstand a VERY ornry woman with VERY large ankles. Yeesh, priorities people. :)

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Comments

  1. says

    I totally agree that sex is Laura’s life. Her suggestion that girls be taught to touch themselves and even use a vibrator were ridiculous. Her reasoning was also not even accurate. She said that a girl needs to know that she can pleasure herself so she is not dependent on a boy to do it for her. But, she had already said that girls provide sexual acts for boys to get approval from them, not to get pleasure herself. And, yes, I agree with talking about it ALL with your kids. I actually watched it with my 15 year old daughter so we could discuss the areas in which we disagree….one being that it is NOT all about sex. And that sex is a wonderful way for husband and wife to show there love for each other and to bond. Anyway, I felt strongly about the show and really appreciated the chance to talk about some detailed things that I probably wouldn’t have. Sorry for the long comment!!

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