3 Questions

I’ve decided that there are specific things in my life that I need to fix. I also have decided that I can not fix them all at once. I’m superwoman… but not THAT super of a woman. I also find that if I write things down I tend to better focus, so I’m hoping to have 3 questions each month that I can find the answers to and make the change to make them happen. I also though that they should focus on the 3 most important areas of my life.
1. Drew
2. Kids
3. God
(in no particular order)
I think some of you are surprised to see Drew’s name up there. It’s not that we’re unhappy but there are things in our relationship (as there are with all relationships) that need changing. I think this is a sticky area because you don’t want to hurt them, but you also need things fixed. I will go into that one further on another day.

Today I’m focusing on the kids, and since I’ve read this blog on other mom’s blogs I’m putting it here:

How do you do after school? I’m tired, I’ve been hot (lately, that probably won’t be an issue anymore) and sometimes a bit hungry… and my kids are all those same things. Get us all together and we’re a whole mess o’ fun. I want to give one on one time to each schooler to see what’s happened during the day and tell them how much I love them. Instead of that I seem to get caught-up in the other less-important items and not focus on them. This week is a good week to work on it, because they’re out early each day.

It was easier before, because only Conner came home so I could focus on him. But now I have 2 sometimes-ornry kids to focus on and I just feel overwhelmed by it all. I feel like my life is bipolar in that I am playing patty-cake one minute with my tiny sweets. And the next minute they’re screaming through the house wanting snacks and shoving papers at me.
I just need a happy medium, and another brain – perhaps one that can actually focus this time.

Now is the time you can share a bit of your brain with me. Oh ye great moms, I worship your greatness. COMMENT.
Now.

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Comments

  1. says

    Well, you KNOW I feel exactly the same way. I do not know what to do about it, so I just have to deal with the chaos.

    I do try to have a snack waiting for them so we can all talk in the kitchen for about 5 minutes before we have to start homework and practicing. The one problem is that with two of them, you’re right, it’s a battle of who can be heard the best. It’s loud. :)

  2. says

    I do not claim to be an expert in this area…but…whenever the kids come home from school, I stop whatever it is I’m doing and I go to greet them.

    They all go and get a snack and while they are eating, one by one they come and bring their homework folder.

    We go over it while talking about their day…decide what they need to do to get things done for school the next day, and then they go finish their snack.

    They takes turns and we all get a little one on one.

    Then they go off to do their homework…and I cook dinner, etc.

    That time we spend together after school really makes a difference.

  3. says

    We have about a 15 minutes drive home from school where there is little to do except talk to them. I ask many questions and get very little in return, but at least I get something. I prod them about music or library or p.e.

    Once we’re home they bring me their folders and we go through them. Not too much homework yet…maybe cause they’re little? Or it could be the program they’re in….they’re brains totally need a break after school!

    I’m always conflicted about whether to toss them straight into getting reading/homework/practicing done right away or give them 1/2 hour to unwind (not with t.v. mind you) and play first? 3 of the 5 days we’re back out the door by 5, so there’s not a lot of spare time..ahhhH! We’re all in the same, chaotic boat!

    I’ll be checking back to see what other ideas surface!

  4. says

    I’ve got nothin’, except that at Time Out for Women one of the things that was suggested was taking a question to the scriptures for 30 days. So that might help in your whole equation.

  5. says

    I also had this idea of spending time with each one after school, but with 3 in school now (one a girl and she talks so much more than my boys ever have) it is truly a battle to have a coherent conversation with each one. I have decided to stop expecting perfection. If things go well and I get something from them in the car or at the table, great! If it does not work than I look for other opportunities in the evening to get to have a few moments with each one…if I am looking then I usually find the moment.

    Homework–for us has to be done right after school. It is a constant match of “why do I have to do it now?” however I am also learning there will always be an argument about something, and I would rather not be yelling at them at bed time or in the morning right before they leave for a new day because their homework is not completed. Hopefully someday they will appreciate the habit we are trying to teach them early.