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I’m a party girl.  I am not a huge fan of parties at my house, but I tolerate them.  I wish my house was bigger, mostly my kitchen — it’s just so small…. I do enjoy girls night, mostly at restaurants.

So, I send a lot of evites and it never fails to surprise me.

That’s right, who does/doesn’t RSVP.  Especially on evite — it’s so easy, it even sends you reminders and you still don’t respond.

Now, most of my stuff is pretty casual.  I don’t really need a firm head count, although it’s embarassing to head to a restaurant and give them a count of 10 and only have 5 or so come.  I feel like I’m cheating the restaurant.

I have found that almost 90% of the time the “maybes” are no (esp. if they’re still maybes a day or two before the event).  I’ve stopped counting the maybe’s.  Just to save myself the guilt from the restaurant.  I get keeping it lose up til’ the event, but the day before you should have a pretty good idea what’s going to happen.

This isn’t to say that things don’t come-up.  Kids get sick, you get sick — that’s totally normal.  I’m always so touched when someone actually calls me to say they RSVP’d yes but they can’t becuase of one of the above reasons.

Maybe that’s what it is.  You just want to be aknowledged.  You just want to know they got it and they’re happy to be included.

Maybe I just want coffee cake…

Either way, why don’t you RSVP?  Do you think that manners are a lost art?  Do you think I should stop inviting people places?  Would you, as a party thrower, stop inviting people who don’t RSVP or keep themselves in the maybe category all the time?

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  1. says

    I think people mean to RSVP, but they forget.

    But, having said that, I find that people never RSVP.

    I don’t know…it would be nice, but if the alternative is to stop hosting…then I’ll live with it.

    And if I really need a firm head count, I just call.

  2. says

    I was shocked when everyone RSVP’d for Bria’s birthday party here. Maybe it’s a Mormon thing not to. I try to, but I admit to forgetting here and there. But mostly I do.

    Especially on evites. Anytime I don’t have to pick up the phone, I appreciate.

  3. says

    If I don’t RSVP it’s because I’m not sure if I can come, and “maybe” RSVPs bug me because they’re not really an RSVP at all. I try to make sure the inviter knows that I got the invite, and as soon as I know for sure that it’s a yes I let them know so I don’t show up unexpectedly.

  4. says

    Yeah – I think it’s a mo thing. I get pretty frustrated when I invite people over and I am preparing (and paying for) food and they can’t be bothered to RSVP. Under those kind of circumstances I think it is quite rude. And I get that people are busy – but if you’re too busy to tell me you can’t come to my party, then maybe I’ll be too busy to invite you next time ;). I’m just saying..

  5. says

    And I agree with Maryanne – why even bother with a “maybe?” Everyone is a maybe until they actually RSVP. It is no more polite than no reply.

  6. says

    I think Mormon’s don’t RSVP. They assume it’s always casual enough that they can just show up if they want to, or not and it won’t matter. Kinda a pet peeve of mine. I, however, live in the Maybe category. It’s part of the gig with my husband’s job. Feel free not to count me though if it makes things any easier for you. I think I just figure that a maybe lets you know I’ve seen the invite, and would like to come, but can’t give a firm yes right now.

  7. Sarah says

    Uggh! This is one of my biggest pet peeves…people who don’t RSVP. I think manners are really going by the wayside. We all just want to be acknowledged, and not getting an RSVP makes me feel insignificant. I’m with you!

  8. says

    My first evite I received, I didn’t respond to, because, I know I’m really lame, but the reason is I had never used evite and was worried I wouldn’t understand how to use it… Again, yes, I know I’m lame. The 2nd one I responded “Yes, I’ll attend your Pampered Chef party” and then the night of totally forgot about it. The 3rd, I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it and said so. Yes, I’m that lame, I’ve only received 3 evites in my life. :)
    But, my point is, don’t take it personal. I’m sure it’s not. And, unless you really dislike the person, don’t stop inviting them, perhaps they’re scared of the evite as I first was.
    And yes, manners are a totally lost art, unfortunately… But, if I got an evite from you, I would answer yes – well I would if I lived near you anyway.
    Merry Christmas!

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