Monday, September 20, 2010

The Fine Line

. . . If You Lived When There Was Slavery in AmericaDoes anyone else feel that there is a really fine line between motherhood and slavery?  Lately I've just felt like EVERYTHING is MY job and people feel no qualms about complaining or letting me know I did it wrong.  I know that a lot of this is my fault.  While I can really try and coax pleases and thank yous out of my kids I can't expect it (and they're good at saying it, maybe not so great at showing it).  Drew's really good about reminding the kids about all that I do... but really.  It's been hard lately.

And I know the attitude shift has to be inside me.

I need to find more pleasure in the simple joys of motherhood -- and normally I do a pretty good job at this.  Finding a new item to make for lunch, or organizing something so that it's more useful... these things do bring me joy.  I like housework, in general.  I feel like I'm a good housewife...

But there are days.

I guess there are WEEKS.  And last week was one of them. :)  Drew was gone almost the entire day.  I realize I'm usually pretty lucky, but only seeing him for an hour daily (mostly, just enough time to feed him)makes the days quite long.

Anyway.  How do you shift how you're feeling?  Or, should I just put on an Aunt Jemima handkerchief and get into my new role. :)


  1. This is tough, because everyone feels the same way at times, whether we are full-time moms, part-time moms or full-time workers who come home and still run a home.
    I don't think there is an easy answer, but finding joy in what you're doing is big. Also, find joy in other things outside the home. Do something for yourself, even if it's just reading a book for 20 minutes. If you aren't able to escape for a while, everything else is going to go downhill pretty fast.

  2. Wow we had similar weeks. My hubby was gone a lot and has been for a while with Scouting and work responsibilities. I try to handle his absence well, but I admit I get to a point that I feel I might just crack. Yesterday was one of those days. I even spouted off about being the house servant. (Not one of my greatest moments.) When I'm in my "happy place" I feel I can handle anything. Ignoring the chaos and reading a book helps get me there occasionally. I try to remind myself these kiddos I am steering in the right direction will get there, but I can't expect perfection along the way, one of my greatest challenges. I want to see perfect beings now!!! Smile more, laugh more with them. I only say it because I know it is what I need to do.

  3. Hmmm...I was crying about this last night :) Fortunately I received enough sleep and feel much better this morning but it is hard sometimes ;)

  4. For me, it's helped to get the kids involved and more responsible. It's easy to say, "Hey, next time hang UP your backpack!" and then do it myself . . . so they never actually DO it. I've gotten better at having them fulfill their end of responsibilities--and then they start to recognize how much I do and even help out.

    Of course, it helps big time that they're a bit older now! There were those years where they couldn't do much, and I pretty much did feel like a slave!

  5. And this is why my house is a WRECK currently. Because I do everything and it's last on my list lately.

    But, it could be worse. You could blend up your hand and not be able to do anything.

    Except maybe then your family will have to help you out. Be grateful. :)

  6. How funny!! I mean, not really, but I had the same thought today. Although with me, its not so much about my family (although we joke sometimes about paige being a diva and making lots of requests). It's more my job...My home life is kind of a dream comparatively...although as you know I have just one kid. And she is pretty much a dream. Hang in there, sista!! I like the advice about doing one thing a day for you. : )

  7. So I'm not the only one that is feeling that way. Sister Beck's most recent conference talk might help and Elder Holland's 'Because She is a Mother' talk is good for days like this. And maybe an eval with the man upstairs will give you a better picture on how your doing than relying on feedback from the kids and others. Keep on truckin!

  8. Just face the music.
    We are glorified slaves to our homes and children.

    Was that the positive perspective you were looking for? haha.


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