Uh, this week’s episode is even worse. Of course, they split it into 2 episodes.
The first one is Christine (wife #3) giving birth. The guy just drove me insane. Honestly, I’m just not a fan of husbands who really want to be “up in the business” when they’re having a baby. There to catch it, there to make off-color jokes, there to joke at all. It just kinda creeps me out. Sometimes fathers do it in a loving, un-creepy way — but it’s rare and I’m pretty astute as to which is which. So, they go, she’s getting induced (first hospital baby), and he runs home to change his clothes, happens to run to the GIRLFRIEND’S house and gives her a few nice smooches while he’s there. He literally seems like he’s on a high, he’s jovial, jumpy and I’d like to take a urine sample (I’m sure it’d be negative, but maybe you get the picture). Anyway, they deliver (he delivers, right down there with the doctor — a doctor who I’m sure won’t be getting a ton of malpractice insurance after his company sees that NOT ONLY is it videotaped birth, but the father’s doing it. But I digress…) and the whole family comes to see the baby. Mari’s (wife #1) is especially happy because she hasn’t been able to conceive and now she has a new baby to pretend to be her own.
That did show a few of the perks of polygamy. Christine didn’t have to find anyone to watch her kids while she had the baby, and she knew there’d be lots of hands to help out when she got home. Mari wasn’t able to have lots of her own kids, but has been able to mother 13, even if she didn’t bare them (btw, does anyone mention maybe he’s having “conceiving time” too often with the other wives… maybe he should save some swimmers for Mari, after all Christine — wife #3) has had like 6 kids, and if they go in order….)Ok… those were the 2 perks I saw.
Mostly I gleaned that Kody is into sowing his seed. He likes having kids and I think that may be why he’s getting wife #4, because the other wives are heading into advanced maternal age. What a shame, at least he got a newer model.
Episode #2 is about Mari’s and Kody’s 20th wedding anniversary. They get dressed up and go to Le Cai, which is — in fact, the fanciest restaurant in Utah.
And then she tells him she’s jealous and asks him what he’d do if she slept with another man.
And this is where I learned to hate Kody, I also almost lost the bottom part of my jaw.
“I can’t even imagine how awful those feelings would be, I couldn’t endure them, it’s just against nature.”
Then he goes on to say there’s no good answer because it just shows that he’s not being fair.
Well, HELLO. You’re not being fair, what a shock.
Here’s the problem, I really think that if this was from God and Kody was really following what GOD wanted him to do, he’d have a good answer to that — because God loves Mari, much more than Kody, and watching her hurt hurts God also.
The right answer, I supposed would’ve been “I’m sorry it hurts you, it hurts me too, especially to see you like this, let’s try and talk out our/your feelings when you feel that way.” Another right answer is if God would’ve swallowed Kody into outer darkness right then, and left a giant sum of money for Mari.
Kody, go get some of that wood you chopped down and build a doghouse. You’re gonna be needing it.
And son of a gun, there are no clips from them at dinner, but this will have to suffice:
And it said that next week’s episodes will be the season finale. He marries Robin. I hope Mari sticks it to him, in his “special place”. I’d like to stamp do not reproduce on his forehead. Too bad, it’s too late.
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