Please, Help My Baby

Crying Baby, Sleepless Nights: Why Your Baby Is Crying and What You Can Do About It{sigh}
Things just aren’t going so well around here.  The sleepless nights seem to pop up every few days or so.  Let me share our problems:

1.  Sleep.  She’ll cry for up to 2 hours at night.  Not just crying — screaming, shaking the bars on her crib, shrieking.  It’s super fun.  We have totally let her cry it out (we have normally followed babywise, and she has been sleeping through the night really well since about 9 weeks of age — until we started giving up the 2nd nap).  Drew usually goes in if it’s something new (because he is a saint), gives tylenol and a hug and walks out.  Then, the crying resumes for a long period of time.  We wake up groggy and cranky, she’s not really a bundle of fun either.  We’re giving advil before bed, along with teething tablets.  We’ve been to the doctor, she is getting molars but it’s ben almost a full month of this.  About a month ago we eliminated her 2nd nap.  She tends to be REALLY tired around 5 pm — right when I am making dinner… but we try to feed her and then get her to bed.  When I do lay her down at that point I almost gurantee myself crying that night.

2.  Nursery.  The first week went SO great.  She did fine, no crying, had a good time.  She missed the second week because she had a fever.  Now, we’re just suffering each week.  Yesterday I went in for a bit, I finally left (to teach RS) but she apparently just wanted to be held and suck her thumb.  I guess she had a total break down at about 15 minutes before church got out and they took her to Drew.

My current plan:

1.  Do more playpen time.  I think she needs to learn how to play on her own better.  We’re almost always together and I think that leads her to be really posessive of me.
2.  Invite some of her nursery friends over to our house for tiny playdates.  Possibly beg some of those moms to watch P for 1/2 an hour or so.  I may just end-up staying in my car playing angry birds.
3.  REALLY work on the bedtime routine.  Right now she goes down at 6:30, but sometimes — because it’s so early we just hurry to get her in bed.  I think maybe if we gave her some more time to cool down and started it a little early, bed might go better.
4.  Not die.

I’m not really sure how willing our nursery leaders are to work with us on this.  It’s kind of hard to figure them out.  Usually, when she goes to the woman who watches her usually she cries for a minute or two and then does fine. 

So, how did you get your reluctant wee one to love nursery, and while it seems like this whole nap transition causing issues with sleep thing has been a problem for my other 2 as well… do you have any thoughts there?

Really, you.  Reading this blog.  I know you read it.  I have almost 100 hits every time I write a post.  None of you comment.  I’m dying here.  Thoughts?

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Comments

  1. says

    Hey Hil,

    Gosh, I have no idea! I think you are doing all the right things….its just one of those tough it out situations! I know, horrible comment, right? Really, though, you’re a stellar parent and this is what all moms and babies go through….especially when they’re teething…ick!

    Hang in there….that’s all I’ve got!

  2. says

    I. Know. Nothing. Seriously.

    But I feel for you and am sorry it’s been a rough month of sleepless nights and teases of it getting better, only to revert back.

    If you need cookies not made by you, let me know. :)

  3. says

    For Ry it took about 8 months before he would stay in nursery completely content. It was months and months of crying and crying for about 10-15 minutes after we left until he would finally settle down. I chalk it up to just the habit of going each week EVENTUALLY calmed him…realizing we would come back, and yes, it is more fun than mom & dad’s class.
    Each kid is different. Carson went no problem from day 1. I don’t think there is any magic method involved. Hang in there. And the sleepless nights are the worst. I have empathy. But for my kids usually it only lasts a short while (teething, missing naps, or a total mystery) until they get their normal groove back. Again, I guess I just endure until it is passes :-)

  4. says

    I’m just curious and keep in mind I’m not a mother yet. But why do you put her down so early? Most people I know put their kids down around 8 or 8:30 so I’m just curious. Is it at all possible that she just isn’t tired enough yet?

  5. says

    I have never followed Babywise (not that I have a problem with it, just never went there). So I don’t know if what I say will entirely contradict wit the philosophy but here goes. After 5 I can say everyone is different. I am fine with letting my child cry for 5 to 10 minutes in nursery if I know they do calm down by then. If not I let the nursery leader know to come get me. Some of my kids have walked right in waving goodbye, others not so much. Yes I even had one that cried until he vomited. If my child is struggling that much, I go with them and gradually ween myself out of the classroom. This comes with many words of “I will be back to get you,” and then making a big deal about coming back and how good they did at staying. I think your idea of playdates is right on. She needs to see she can play with others in a safe environment with you and without you. Again this is only what I have done, and I know it can be handled so many different ways.
    As to sleeping, I let them cry also if I know they are tired and it is time for them to be in bed. Do you play music or have a night lite? My kids like to listen to primary songs. Good luck, it will get better!

  6. says

    Sending you a message on facebook, but for now my only advice is give it time. We used Healthy Sleep Habits Happy child book by Marc Weissbluth and it worked great for us.

  7. says

    I just wish I had some sage words of advice. I’m not sage, and I give too much advice. I hope it works out better. I know we always have hard times with naps and bedtime when F teeths.

    Ear plugs might help :-)

    I’m happy to watch her for a while, as a semi-familar face with another wee one to play with. Tues.-Thur. mornings are usually open. Let me know.

  8. says

    I am SO sorry. Sleep problems s-u-c-k, to put it bluntly. Hate me, but it has been so long since I had any, I just don’t remember any tricks beyond what you are mentioning. I always struggled between Babywise and the Sears philosophy, which are so opposite, but I identified with both. I also have heard great things about Healthy sleep, Happy child book. I don’t know if there is anything you should do different, other than wait it out. In regard to Nursery, again same thing. I think you already probably set her up to be pretty independent. Sometimes it is just in a child’s nature to have a hard time separating at certain stages….

  9. says

    If I had the answer I’d give it to you. The only thing I DO know is there is no way with my kids,a 630 bed time be successful. They would not sleep well either. What time is her nap? maybe she needs a later one then a later bedtime. At some point that whole waking thing will just become habit. I feel ya though there was a time I had two waking consistently every night and I thought it would never end. They were tag teaming I swear!

  10. says

    It is hard when you and your baby aren’t sleeping well. I remember mine waking up every night for awhile about that age. He now sleeps beautifully. I don’t remember enough to give any advice but know they do grow out of it (Not very comforting when your in the middle of it). My thought as I read this was along the lines of what others have said about 6:30 being a little early. I know mine always went down between 8 and 8:30.

    In terms of nursery my youngest is finally able to be by himself after a year. Just be patient. What really helped him was for me to stay the whole time for a few weeks. He needed to see the routine, get used to the teachers and the other kids before he felt comfortable enough to get involved. That wasn’t happening when we always left.

  11. says

    Does she wake up at the same time each night? (or same time relative to bed time?) If so, you have to reset the clock somehow – going in before and waking them up and then helping them go back to sleep, etc

    Could she be too hot/too cold?

    If she is down to one nap, maybe you will have to play with the timing of it – maybe push it back some if that will work with school.

    Your plan sounds good – We could do a playdate with my little one that is in her nursery class.

    Good luck!

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