I started my weight loss journey in 2008… I wasn’t getting pregnant and while I am not sure that was the cause I figured it couldn’t hurt. Also, I had been working out steadily since 2004 with no real loss… so I knew I needed to take it to the next level. That time I lost about 25 pounds, and then I DID get pregnant.
Fast forward to about 9 months after P was born (January 2010) and my weight is steadily increasing despite my attempts to not eat chocolate cake. I was tired, I was overwhelmed with 3 kids, a job, a need for chocolate cake, and I turned to weight watchers, which had always made sense…
So, here I am March 2011… and I am within 10 pounds of not having my wii character turn into a little fat pumpkin when I weigh in. I’m almost to a regular BMI.
The reality is, I don’t feel all that different. I still think I’m fat when I walk by a mirror. I still think that my “saddle bags” are my worst feature. I actually still don’t think I look that different. I guess I look a little different, especially in my face from when I was 210 pounds. Blech, I hate those pictures!
I guess the truth is that I was REALLY unhappy when we moved here in 2001. I didn’t have friends, and I didn’t make friends for quite some time, leaving me with a 1 year old, a husband that was never home and me working part time. So, I gained. But then my life started to normalize, I made friends, I became happy with who I was and where I was… but the weight didn’t go away.
I still inwardly moan when I have to get off the couch. I still look at physical things thinking I can’t do them… but I’m sometimes surprised that I can.
I just don’t feel all that different.
I need to go in for a physical to see what my blood work says, to see if I truly am healthier now. Part of me doesn’t want to because I think it won’t be any better and that will be depressing. That’s me, always looking for the bright side.
I claimed a blogspot for “weareallskinny.blogspot.com” and when do I use that? I sure as heck don’t feel skinny now. Will I in 10 pounds? Unlikely.
My app on my phone says I still have another 26 pounds to go to be at a more ideal weight, less close to the fatty line. Will I make it there? Who knows…
Anyway, just a little reminder that you always need to be happy where you are because it’s not clear of who where you are going to be later will be any better.
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