Monday, April 04, 2011

Monday Musings on Moving

Sometimes I step back and look at myself from afar and I can't believe this is happening.  I can't believe what I'm doing and thinking about.  I think back less then a month ago where we thought we'd be here forever.

And now we have just a black hole where our future used to be. :)

Not that it's a black hole, it's just that it's black.  We haven't a clue.

I have learned a couple of things from this process though.

I know who my friends are.  I have had some friends who have reached out.  I know it's uncomfortable to talk to me when I could get emotional or it's hard for them to think about me leaving too, but they don't know how much it has meant for them to just make that phone call, email, or whatever.  To know that people love us and are praying for us has been enough to keep us going lately.  I am so grateful for these amazing friends.

What we are doing sounds crazy.  Selling our house in a poor market, getting a job in a poor market, considering any of it.

And I know it.

But I have to listen to my heart at this point.  We're not sure who else to listen to.  I feel like we are the foolish man who built their house upon sand right now.  Everything else seems to be shifting, but we are lucky in that our "house" is dug quite deep and rests on bedrock... it's just everything else. 

Anyway, I am always a realist but I will admit hurt feelings when people remind me this is insane.  That there's just no WAY Drew will get another job, or we won't sell our house and surely Drew should just find a new career.  I get it.  I'm a smart girl.  It does sound crazy, but I think it may just work.  At least I hope it will. :)  It has reminded me to perhaps take my "keeping it real" comments to myself sometimes.  I have no idea what other people are going through, how their hearts might be hurting... and my "real" comments might put them over the edge.

In other news, there is no news.  Just applying, and getting generic responses to our queries on timelines.  And life goes on.  Oh, does it go on. :)

6 comments:

  1. what is wrong with people? seriously.

    why can't they just be supportive and helpful? and if they don't have anything nice to say, why can't they shut up?

    did i say seriously?

    i hold you guys in such high regard and it is so clear to me that you always try to do what the Lord wants you do to.

    in times of trials -- it is clear that you would follow the exact same path -- doing what you feel is right and knowing it's all for your good.

    the hardest part is just trusting the Lord and knowing that no matter what -- you have your family and your faith -- and everything else is gravy.

    xo

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  2. WHAT??? Look for another career? Whatever! This is what he DOES...it's who he IS! He'll find a job. And if for some crazy reason you both get the answer that he should look in another field for work, then you'll do it, I'm sure, but there's no way you should just ditch this whole idea just because it "hard" to find a job in that arena! Geesh! You're doing great, Hil. Keep hanging in there, searching and asking for guidance. It'll work out just how it should. It always does. {hugs}

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  3. I thought there was no way we would sell our house in this market... and it did. Still not sure quite how it happened, but divine intervention for sure. The walking blind and not knowing the end result is so hard, but in the end...you look back and smile that it amazingly worked out...and it will for you too. Some how in some way. Three cheers for you!!! Hang in there!!

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  4. I have to echo the sentiments of the three previous comments. Ditto, ditto, ditto. I've done some crazy things in my life that I know others have questioned, but when you're following the promptings of your heart you know what you must do. Never doubt yourself. Never ever! P.S. I was really hoping (and still am) that something opens up down here. I would love to have you close by!

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  5. Why can't things work out? ditto to all of the above comments. Things might sound crazy to the temporal mind, but with God all things are possible, even things that seem impossible.

    I seriously cannot believe that my husband was able to finish school last year and we were able to stay in our house and find other ways to pay for it. It happened. It was a miracle. Miracles really do happen. Keep the faith -- follow your heart. THAT in my opinion, is the right thing to do. The Spirit will guide you.

    One of my favorite scriptures is where Nephi says, "I was led by the Spirit not knowing beforehand the things which I should do." The Spirit has told you to go with it... you might not know the outcome, but you know it will work out. That's good enough for me :)

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  6. I'm sorry this is such a trying time for you and your family, but I am inspired by your strength that you demonstrate (along with the sadness too of course). Conference really was so great. I know I needed it.

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