Saturday, April 30, 2011

Naps: Not Helpful

During my stint of postpartum depression after P, I noticed that on the days that I took a nap I was a mess.  My depression would get out of hand.  Everything looks worse. Anxiety would consume me to the point I coudln't breathe.

Today I took a nap.

Mistake.  I mean, I took a nap a couple of days ago and it was alright, so I thought what the heck... let's try it again. 

Mistake.

It's funny about how things strike you. It's funny what I'm depressed about at certain times.  I'll be driving down the street and all the sudden start to cry.  Just for random things.  People I will miss, people who have done nice things, people who ask me a lot of questions.

Today I just feel like there aren't options.  I feel like maybe God's plan is for me to be the breadwinner.  Which doesn't thrill me to my toes.  Don't get me wrong, I love my job.  I love my job SO. MUCH. but I don't work full time, I don't even work part time.  I work a Hilary schedule, and it's fairly lovely and random.

It's just one of those days.  Even girls night couldn't remove my funk.

We are so lucky.  SO very lucky.  Just need to focus on that.  Right?

3 comments:

  1. I'm remember growing up being told all the time you will be glad to know that you have skills that will allow you to go to work if you have to. Through the years this has given me peace but only because I haven't had too.

    It is not so much peace when faced with that reality. For me, I was down right scared and really felt like I wanted to fight it.

    Thankfully things eventually worked out for us and I am loving that I still get to be a stay at home mom. It gave me a new appreciate for this.

    I hope things work out for you and maybe part of the Lord's plan for you will be to learn appreciation like mine was. Time will only tell, but so hard to wait!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I feel the same way about naps. Between the appedix removal and a recent bout of C-diff I'm feeling all those naps and it ain't good.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I used to get SO frustrated over my husband not making enough money. And I was so resentful that I had to work part time while raising kids. And I have gone through depression and anxiety in the past as well. But very seldom any more...

    I don't know if any of the things which helped me will help you. But perhaps what helped me can help you. If you are interested, please email me. corine.miles@gmail.com.

    Hugs...
    Corine

    ReplyDelete

Hi, I love you. You read my blog.
What did you think?
I would love to know what you think!
Before you post anonymously though, think if it is something you would say in person. I always sign my comments with my name. I hope you will do.

I respond to all my comments in the comments section. Please check back
or subscribe to have further comments emailed to you. :) I love chatting with my readers!

Or, email me at hilary@pullingcurls.com

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...