Sunday, June 26, 2011

Who I was, Who I Am

The move date is tomorrow.

I can't help remember the girl that left Utah 10 years ago.

I was young, I was extremely scared, I had a lot of preconceived notions about what life was about.  I was insecure, I was young, did I mention I was young?

I had a one year old and I was so unsure of if I was doing things right.

I worked swing shift and easing into that is no easy task, especially with a husband that worked early and a baby that wanted to get up early too.

I was fat.

I was tired ALL. the. time.

I was fairly unhappy for quite some time, and while I worked to make friends it just didn't click.

I missed Utah.

But who am I now?  Am I different.

Four thousand percent different.

I really feel like I know who I am.  I feel like I have seen so many strong women of different cultures and backgrounds and I'm melting little bits that I like of all those women and making myself after them.

I feel like I'm a pretty great mom who works hard to make great kids.

I feel like Drew and I can do almost anything.  We've had a pretty good run here, but some tough times, including infertility, postpartum depression, buying a crazy expensive house, and layoffs.  We've learned that we need to fight our battles together.

I feel like I am like able and I can make new friends, because I've had to do it time, and time again here.  I know that bosom friends will come when you most need them, and they may not always look like you think they will, or be as old as you'd guessed.

This valley has made me who I am.  And when I drive away from it tomorrow, while I might have some tears, I'll also have SO many happy memories of our good times here, knowing I have built many strong friendships who I hope will come visit.

You all do hear that I have a guest room, don't you?  I'd love to see you.  I love you all SO much.  I hope you know that.  I am so grateful for the times we've had here.

So lucky.  So very, very lucky.


  1. I'll come visit!!! :) I will miss you all! Best wishes in AZ.

  2. Good luck with everything today and over the next few weeks as you move into the next stage of life.

  3. This made me emotional. Great post, Hillary. Gosh. Ten years does alot to a woman, huh? I've come a long way and I've still got a long way to go. Best of luck on your next chapter!!!


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