Tragic Tuesday: Depression

I would dip in and out of this stage.  I will say, that having kids makes it so you can’t just lie on your couch in the fetal position and suck your thumb, even if you’d like to.  I had to get up and do their stuff, and keep going.

And the fact that I had about 9 million things to do kept me occupied most of the time.

But it was hard not to say “WHY ME”, what’d we do to deserve this?

But, I also really think you need some time to be sad.  Especially if this is true grieving, someone that you’ve lost.  You need to have your sad time, because if you don’t it will hit all the sudden.

I wanted SO much to have my last week of school be at time that I could really dig deep into how hard this move was going to be.  And I must admit, God gave me that week.  I road the highs of Conner’s graduation ceremony, and the lows of leaving the school on that final day.

It does remind you to enjoy whatever it is you’re doing, because it won’t always be like that.

It just won’t.

So, what do you guys think?  Is depression a helpful step?  How do you know when it’s time to move on from that step?  And how do you move on?

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Comments

  1. says

    If you have any tips send them my way because I am still mourning our move. And it was over 5 months ago. And every morning when I drop Elodie off at school I have to hold back the tears wishing we were back at her old school. it’s still really tough. I miss my friends, our life there, the area, the ward. I could go on but I won’t because we are healthy…

  2. says

    Sometimes it helps to know it is normal. About 6-8 weeks after a move and everything is unpacked, I hit a low point and the kids are ready to go, but I need to mourn the friendships left behind and figure out what lies ahead and how I’m going to find friends etc…(That’s about the point in this last move that you came to AZ). For me it was lovely to have a reminder of wonderful place I once loved. It lasts about a month for me. All the moves have changed me, not better/worse, but I definitely don’t feel as open and cheerful in each new place or naive as I once was, I am more empathetic of friends that move and have sudden life event changes from my moves though. If you feel the blues for more than a couple of months, it is really helpful to talk to someone – a friend, a counselor, whatever you feel comfortable. Then start to serve those around you- your family, your neighbors, ward members, or coworkers. It doesn’t have to be much, but you’ll be building the groundwork for establishing new relationships and take the focus off yourself and how much you miss CA and your friends. Just because we “move” in a different direction, it doesn’t mean we will lose those friendships or forget how much those people meant to us. It is tough, it is painful, and you will survive. You’ll just have a lot more love and empathy for others who go through a similar experience. You’ve also had a lot of CHANGE! Any one of these events would have sent someone spinnning- job loss/ change, selling a home, buying a house, moving to a new town. Leaving a connected support network and coming to a place where you don’t really have it (I still want to get a gno together for you, but I’ve had some health issues come up, so it will be a little while). Just because you are having a tough time, doesn’t mean that you don’t have faith and can’t ask for help or decrease your regular duties. It gives others an oportunity to help you and be blessed by that as well. I’ve come to realize in all these moves, the sadness will be there when I think of a place I loved, but Heavenly Father has a plan for us and he won’t give us a challenge we cannot handle. We are often the most vulnerable as we are experiencing what will strengthen us and shape our character, but as we have faith and continue making the best choices we can, we will be strengthened and become incredibly strong. I look back at different events in my life and marvel at what I’ve been through, what I’ve accomplished, and how blessed I was in that moment as well as now from that experience, even if I didn’t feel it at the time. You are amazing and you have great things in store for you. The pain will eventually fade, but probably when you are no longer paying attention to it.

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