Tuesday, September 13, 2011

A Late Miracle Monday: Mindframe

Things just haven't been peachy lately.  I am overwhelmed by my children, one in particular... although, the little Miss has forgotten how to be potty trained, and that isn't my favorite thing in the world.  I felt depressed that my life was spiraling downward.  Last night as I wrote in the kids journals, and thought about how things were going I was feeling the giant weight of parenthood as I am shaping these little lives into what I want them to be.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how people depend on someone else to change their life.  Or someTHING else.  They'll win the lottery, or they presidential change will mix it up for them.  The reality that YOU are in charge of your OWN life is a harsh reality that I think some people just can't accept.

And, as I was thinking about the both of these things they slowly congealed into my mind.  It's up to me to change my life.  I can't be upset that my husband isn't home.  I can't be upset that we live in a new place and I feel VERY alone a lot of the time.  I can't just wallow in it -- in the same way I couldn't wallow in the fact that he lost his job.  I needed to roll up my sleeves and get to work.

And then it clicked.

I need to make myself happy.  I had this same brain shift last year.

Also, I need to tackle this problem with el Presidante in the same way that I tackled having to get a new job/sell my house.  Etc.  I'm a smart girl that can change my life. 

I was really hoping my husband could be my more helpful, and that would change my life.  But I can't plan on that.  You'll notice that the brain shift has to be in the fall, often.  The man is never home and him going to graduate school has just made things SO much more fun.  Plus, him only working 80%, although it seems like he's definitely doing full time... but either way it's my job to make up the difference with adding shifts like a french whore. :)

Anyway, back to the problem at hand.  It's my job to change it -- not anyone else's.

So, I'm reading my standby parenting books, but I'm up for some more teenager-y type ones if anyone has a favorite. 

Do you have a problem you're just hoping the problem fairy will come along and fix?  :)


  1. I've been reading Have a New Kid by Friday, and I like it. It's not necessarily teenagery but it works.

    My friend has How to Talk to Your Teenager...she really likes it. I haven't read it, but she talks about it all the time. Don't know if it's quite what you're looking for, but it's worth a shot!

    I hear you about the changing your life YOURSELF. It's hard for me, too.

    My current favorite quote is:
    "If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree." ~Jim Rohn

  2. I like the How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk series, same authors- liberated parents, liberated children.

    The wonder of boys by Michael gurian

    I know several friends who adore the Love and Logic books as well. The biggest thing I've found to help is to give logical consequences to the behavior and follow up on it. (Which I'm sure you do).

  3. Hillary, you are very self aware and are so good at changing your mindframe! It takes me years and years to turn that switch sometimes. I hate being the new girl though too.


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