“That” phone call…

Yesterday I got “that” phone call.  I wouldn’t say the “dreaded” phone call… but one that all parents dread.

Hi, is this Mrs. E?  Yes?  Oh, well this is Mrs. B… and I just wanted to share a little incident that happened with El Presidante today…

{heart sinks}

{mind races}

Is it a fight?  I know he hasn’t been getting along as well with a kid who used to be his best friend — I think my brother got in a fight once in Jr High… is he going to turn into my brother?  Was he looking at porn?  Did he say something inappropriate?  My goodness, JUST OUT WITH IT, WHAT IS IT?

Well, it’s the computer, and thankfully he’s not looking at porn.  He’s looking at nine million other things and just can’t keep his hands off it.

Now, we live in a VERY technological school district.  He has laptops available to him in the classroom and they integrate technology a lot, but that gives him leeway to hurry through written assignments and then run to the computer like his pants are on fire.

And he does.

But I think his teacher’s had enough of it.  As am I.  So, we’re both giving him absolutely no computer time for a couple of weeks.  He needs to realize the computer’s a privilege, not a way of life.

I have also taken away the wii and the DS for the weekend, and he’s not allowed to use the laptop to adjust the TV (although, he can use it if  I or Drew adjust it for him).

Much like the rest of his life, it’s like he can’t physically help himself.  His impulse control on a scale of 1 to 10 is like a 2.  Really, this is no news flash.

But I thought about that phone call.  A lot of parents get them frequently and there’s so many ways to react to them.  I think the initial instinct is defensively — but I honestly think the best reaction is to back-up the teacher, which is why I came up with the idea of no computer at home (because she is limiting it at school).  There are many reasons, but the main one is that I want to enforce the fact that the teacher is in charge and what she says, stays.  She and I are on the same team, 100%.  In fact, I think she’s heartbroken to get after him.  She really adores Conner, and I think she’s given him a bit of lee-way up til’ this incident.  She actually said, “it’s time for me to be the grown-up here.”  I really like her.

Anyway, I think it’s important to remember the teacher spends almost as much time with your child as you do (sad, but true) and she does this for a living, and has hundreds of other kids in the same age frame to compare it with.

So, as el Presidante has his lunch detention today I hope he learns a lesson.  I hope he learns how to stay on task and realize that there is a whole world outside of computers.

Have you gotten “the” phone call?  How did you react?

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Comments

  1. says

    I back up the teachers 100% too. I haven’t gotten “the” phone call, but I’m sure I will. I *did* get a call once telling me my son had done extra extra good that day. That was nice.

  2. says

    I am so nervous for that phone call, but 100% behind the teacher too, I honestly just hate confrontation, i avoid it like the plague!
    way to handle it though :)

  3. says

    I’ve been fielding “that phone call” all year. I dread the phone ringing during school hours. I’m afraid I preferred the “your son broke his arm at school” call to yesterday’s “your son threatened to call child protective services because we wouldn’t let him call you” call. I’m trying to think of something really nice to give the awesome ladies in the office. They’ve been great and I support them 100%.

  4. says

    comming from a family full of teachers, I so wish all parents reacted just as you did. Props all around! I really feel like parents do a huge disservice to their kids by taking the defense whenever a teacher says something that needs to improve in their child. They get the idea that their parents will always back them up and save them from their bad behavior….not ever understanding or learning what true responsiblity and accountability means. You though, are teaching your kids just that very thing. To respect others…and most importantly, to respect themselves by working the best they can to be all they can in this life and beyond.

  5. says

    I have not gotten that call. My children are angels :-) I totally understand the lack of impulse control. One of mine needs constant reminders to think all the way through her actions. It will be a lifetime of those reminders I think.

    The other day the school nurse called and said “Hello, is this the parent of Emily?” I said yes. She then said “There was an incident on the playground, and I’ve got Emily in my office now. She broke..well..yes, she broke her SHOE.”

    Seriously lady!? Don’t tell me you’re the nurse and she broke something!!! Start off with Emily broke her shoe, not a long drawn out thought that makes me think my kid is dead in your office! Some people clearly have no children! At least that was the worst of it though, my girl is perfect in every other way :-)

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