Condoms…


The first time I put a condom on was it the Spencer W Kimball Tower.  I wasn’t married.

I was a Jr in college.  Thankfully, it was a nursing class (can they revoke your degree for past honor code violations, not that I have one… just wondering).

There was a vast amount of giggling and some good banana eating afterwards.  All of us verginal gals couldn’t figure out why the condom was sticky on the outside.  And yes, this is a true story.

Recently, Utah passed a Sex Ed bill.  I’m pretty shocked at it.

Do I think that sex ed should happen in schools?  No, not really.  In a perfect world it would be open and parents would talk freely and often with their kids about keeping their virtue and how virtue is so many more things then just a hymen.  And frankly, kids wouldn’t have sex, because everyone’s parents would’ve talked about it and be watching.

Here’s how it’s all working out in my personal mind.  We will preach abstinence at home.  We preach it, and preach it, and preach it.  We talk about it openly and we notice people who haven’t practiced it and what messes they’re in (aka, teen mom).  We talk about it early and often.

But, I kind of plan on schools taking that other part.  I figure I don’t have to have that awkward moment with the condom and the banana because they’re learning it at school.  I hope they take what I say, but if they don’t, the school is my safety net.

And if, heaven forbid, they decide to act outside what I would call virtuous, sexually, they remember at LEAST what their teacher taught them.  Because while I consider virtue a high commodity.  I also value health, and not getting pregnant pretty highly also.

I didn’t take health class in high school.  I took a class called physiology and she mashed health into it as well.  I don’t think we even talked about birth control (anyone, did we?), I do remember the “love is like a fire, don’t get burned” speech.  But, the truth is that a fair part of not putting yourself in that position, is having good friends and luck.  If I was in that position, my mom had given me the “if you get pregnant you will give that baby up for adoption and it will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done” talk.  I had nothing from school.  I think I would’ve been pretty likely to get pregnant.

Of course, that was a long, long time ago.  I am guessing the old T-birds have ramped up that system a bit since then.

I’m just saying that we need help our kids help themselves, and by only talking abstinence, we are hurting them.  Although, frankly — it’s good for business. :)

P.S.  I guess the issue should be, if schools don’t talk about sex ed, do we as parents show our kids how to put condoms on a banana?  How do you work that into an FHE lesson? :)  I don’t think my husband could make it through it….

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Comments

  1. says

    Hey, I remember that phisiology class pretty vividly, including her sex ed section. She was open about everything, including contraceptives and even rape (she even touched on male rape, which sent the boys into titters–which she shut down rather forcefully.)

    She’s one of my heroes for actually TELLING US about this stuff. (I also remember the one kid out of the 30 of us who was opted-out.)

  2. says

    i learned about condoms in high school…i was even given a bunch to take home from a peer leadership retreat thing…which i then put into my desk in my room not knowing what the heck to do with them since i wasn’t going to need them. of course my mom found them and then an interesting converation followed. i can only imagine her heart must have completely stopped for a few minutes before i told her where they came from and that i was definitely not using them.

    i have 4 girls…i have no intention of ever teaching them how to use one. until perhaps they are getting married. but this has made me think more about how to talk to them. i need to be more open for sure and just talk about it all. and be very clear what the standard is and why. that why is uber importante. and… make sure they know that they will be giving any baby up if that ever happens.

  3. says

    I remember that class too, as Carina said, I’m glad that she told us what we needed to know, and I’m pretty annoyed with Utah legislature trying to say we don’t need sex ed in school, because if all I knew was what my mom taught me, well, I’d be pretty clueless!

  4. says

    I thought my mom did a great job teaching us, and making herself available for questions. That is until very recently when my sister told me that mom never told her anything! She said that when she approached my mom with questions, my mom told her to ask me! Like I had any clue. Still, I always liked that my sister and I could talk openly about things too, I just had no idea I was her only source of advice and knowledge on the subject.

    I teach my girls, hopefully, about consequences. Why having kids when you are married makes a difference. We haven’t really reached the age of knowing how a daddy gets a mommy pregnant, though that question came up yesterday. There was a recent article in the news about a 9 year old Chinese girl who had a baby. Allison didn’t understand how that could happen, because if Heavenly Father gives us babies, why would he give her one? We’re expanding our talk :-)

    I will teach my girls to keep their bodies sacred, and not be so naive as to think that just because I waited they’ll wait. I hope they do. I pray that they do. I will forcefully keep them from it if I ever have to. Still, I need them to be prepared. They’ll get HPV shots, they’ll know how babies are made, they’ll know how hard it is to raise a baby.

    Getting pregnant is the one thing there’s no coming back from. There’s rehab for drugs and alcohol. Lasers for tattoo’s. There’s no return from the decision to keep or give up a baby when you aren’t married. There’s a good life to be lived after, either way, but it’s not going to be the life you could have had.

    I pray they never have to make that choice. I”ll teach my kids that if they get pregnant, or if my son gets a girl pregnant, I’m not raising their baby. I will not make the decision for them to give that baby away. I don’t feel like that’s my call. We shun the act of fornication, we don’t shun the act of raising a child or making it work with the consequences we’ve earned. I just hope and pray it never comes to that!

    And at my high school they had Bonne Belle lip balm dispensers in the girls bathrooms, and Condom dispensers in the boys. Sex ed was a lot of giggles and poles as to who had already had the most sex.

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