Your Thoughts On Tanks

The tops I mean.  Tank TOPS, not war and peace.  Frankly… because I haven’t read it.

Honestly, it wasn’t something I gave a lot of thought with boys.  I’m not a huge fan of the “sleeveless” look in boys… mostly the look, nothing about the modesty of it all — so they’ve never done that.

I had a few summery items for Princess P that were made with thicker tank top straps.  I felt a little weird every time she wore them…  BUT, when we moved here, she started to get crazy heat rash (gosh, I wonder why!)… so I pulled out a few of those and some really light cotton stuff, and she got through the summer.

But when she hit 3, a strict ban on tank tops went into place.  Mostly mentally.  It has to have a sleeve.  Does it need to be a giant sleeve… no, but there has to be something there beyond the “strap”…

But it’s just me.  I often read 71 Toes and I read this blog without a thought except how cute her kids look and I wish someone in my house would wear yellow because it makes such great photos (although, my kids are also really white, so maybe not… but I digress).  Then, her next blog was all about how she is converted to Christ and not to elements of the gospel… but that is a pretty delicate line to walk.  I get it, but when it comes to teachings in our home, it IS the law.

Thankfully we have the “Strength of the Youth” pamphlet, which I try to read on nights when I’m a little more awake then other nights.  It’s pretty explicit in there about boundaries.  It, in fact says that girls shouldn’t show their shoulders.  Those crazy Mormons, right?

But I really like about 99% of the counsel in that book.  In fact, I cling to it.  We don’t do drugs, we don’t do pornography, we pick amazing friends and… in fact, we don’t wear tank tops (or shirts that show our bellys, which is a problem around here… I’m working on that, what to do with a skinny girl with a long torso… sigh).

But, the other side of the coin is that she lives in the same dessert I do (albeit in the more Mormon-y part).  When I shop for clothes, I want to find fabric that allows you to feel naked, while still being clothed.  We’ve hit 115 the past few days — heat just doesn’t describe it!  But, in retrospect, she’s wearing skinny jeans with it… and it is layered.  Heat can’t be her excuse (and while I don’t agree with it being an excuse — here — it is a good one).

Anyway, so what are your thoughts on tank tops?  I remember buying a few sleeveless shirts for marching band practice, a lot of because I didn’t like the farmers tan that I was developing.  I always felt weird in them… so I didn’t get a lot of use out of them… I don’t remember my mom explicitly saying I couldn’t — but none of my friends did either.  I guss I’m just trying to say it wasn’t a personal issue back then.

Do you let your girls wear them?  Do you have a certain thickness of “tank” that is OK?  I must admit there are SO many cute girl dresses that are sleeveless — that I mostly find myself finding adorable little sweaters to go over her shoulders.

**I did want to add, that I could care less if my friends wear tank tops, or their girls do.  I don’t care if they drink coffee, or are gay… I love my friends SO much.  But being Mormon makes some things a bit different (or, a lot different).  I’m not judging you if you wear a tank top — it’s just a harmless query.  Believe me — I am judging you for MUCH different things. :)  Kidding… sort of. :)

**And for those of you wondering why in the heck we have this rule.  Once you go through the temple you wear a garment that is like a tshirt (it has capped sleeves, but you have to hvae a decent cap not to show the garment) and the bottoms go almost to your knees (depending on how short/tall you are).  Hence, we have a standard of modesty that we’re trying to hold all of us to, incluidng those who haven’t yet recieved the garment.  Also, we feel our bodies are very sacred and modesty is an important part in that.

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  1. says

    Penny is only 2 months so I might change my mind later on but I think that it is not a big deal for little girls to wear tank tops. I dont have a specific age in mind for when it become not ok, I guess just when they become tweens maybe?? My mom wasnt a stickler on the tank top thing and then once I was about 10 or 11 I felt awkward wearing them and stopped all together. But not every kid would do that. It is a tough one for sure.

  2. says

    Thank Goodness you don’t mind if your friends wear tank tops! : ) I wear them often in the summer. Paige too…you’re definitey right, not a boy issue!

  3. says

    My girls wear tank tops, but not to places where you “get dressed” for it. Like to school or church. I feel like they don’t have the same standard of modesty as I do, because I have made covenants they have not. They are kids. They sometimes run around the house in nothing but their underthings and I don’t really care. In the summer when it’s hot, I let them wear tanks. I don’t know what that undefinable line is, but I know when I buy something if it’s too fleshy or not. I think it’s what I’m going to call the “sexy” factor. Is she wearing it because it’s a little girls shirt, or because it’s a sexy shirt? We teach about modesty a lot, and they know that mommy doesn’t wear tank tops (though I do when I’m exercising in the heat sometimes.) Wee F wears sleeveless shirts because he believes that makes him look more like a “football man” in practice gear, and what else would he want to look like? Since I don’t care if he plays shirtless, it’s not really an issue with my son.

  4. says

    I meant to leave a comment about this earlier.

    When my oldest was almost 2 we lived in New Orleans for the summer. And man, it was HOT. I bought her some tanks and even a little bikini. I thought they were SO cute on her. (Still do, actually. lol) Then a few months later, after we were home and were looking through some pictures, I realized that I wasn’t comfortable with them. I had thought it was okay to have her wear them, because she was just a little girl and was hot. I had thought that, at some point later on, I would no longer have her wear tank tops/bikinis. But at what point would that be? And would she say “But Mom, you let me wear tank tops last summer! Why can’t I now? Why was it okay then?” I decided that I didn’t want to have to make that decision later on, I wanted to make it now. I felt like if things aren’t modest, then they’re not modest. No matter the age. Since then, all of my girls (of which I now have 5) have all worn shirts with sleeves, one piece bathing suits, and knee-length shorts. I even buy them little spandex shorts to wear under their knee length skirts to make sure there’s no inadvertent flashing going on LOL. It made me so happy when we were trying on shorts while back-to-school shopping the other day and my 8 year old tried on a pair that were short but really weren’t THAT short, maybe a couple inches above her knee, and said “Oh these are too short” and pulled them off. She had really liked that pair while on the rack and I was expecting to hear whining or justifications for why she should still get them. But nope, just matter-of-fact “they’re too short” and off they came and she went on to the next pair. I smiled big inside. It made me feel like there’s at least one thing that I’m teaching them right.

    **Please don’t think that I think anyone who lets their girls wear tank tops/shorter shorts is bad or wrong. It’s a decision that everyone has to make on their own and this is just what I’ve chosen to do. (And when I say “I”, I mean my husband and I, as we both felt strongly like this was what we should do for our family.)

    **Also, I have no idea if this will continue to work. I’m crossing my fingers that they won’t be like me and change into tank tops once they get to school, like I did in high school. I must have been a nightmare for my mom. Ugh.

    **Man, that was a novel. :)

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