I'm having a hard time getting in the spirit of Christmas lately.
I'm not 100% sure of the reason. Sure, the weather is like the most delicious spring day you can imagine almost each and every day. I love that, but without snow sometimes it's hard to get all Christmas-y inside. We have no family coming to visit/going to visit this Christmas. I am working Christmas Eve night and I not only hate night shift but I'm worried about how the kids will react and if I'm really going to be able to soak in the day.
But those are things that I can't change.
But, what I could change is how I was thinking about Christmas. We read the Christmas Carol as a book group. I'm really glad that I did. I think Christmas has totally turned into balancing numbers of gifts, wrapping, the stress of getting Christmas Card gifts out, and gifts to friends. Sure, I have many thoughts of how grateful I am for my Savior and to the holy family in general but I wasn't really sure how I was integrating them in my heart.
And last night it hit me. For ME (at least this year) Christmas is about hope. The stress of Christmas and my PTO positions has been weighing heavy on my heart. I felt hopeless towards what I could do or how my children were going to fare. But the truth is that if I do what I can that tiny babe came to earth to make-up for the rest of it.
A great part of that hope is savoring the beauties that are here and around me right now.
Yesterday, as I drove to work I thought about how amazing my pantry is, how I would have given thousands of dollars to have that pantry when we lived in CA. How lucky I was to have a nice yard and good neighbors. How the small things in my life are SUCH a blessing and I ignore them day in and day out.
I LOVE getting the mail. I love those happy faces staring at me from my card wreath.
So while Mary had to ride a donkey on a long journey, she had the hope that she wouldn't be pregnant anymore and would someday birth the Savior of the world. And while I may have signed-up for too many PTO positions and consistently feel like money is stretched more then I'd like I have the hope that we have wonderful things and people in our lives and our kids are going to have an amazing break just spending time with our family.
Is there anything more hopeful then a newborn baby? Each child I deliver has the potential to change the world for good - to make really really important impact on specific people. I know I am very lucky that some particular people were born. I am most lucky that our Savior was born, was permitted to come to this earth and live a perfect life to save me. To allow me to be with those I love forever. Pure hope, that's what that is. Merry Christmas everyone!