During my stint of postpartum depression after P, I noticed that on the days that I took a nap I was a mess. My depression would get out of hand. Everything looks worse. Anxiety would consume me to the point I coudln’t breathe.
Today I took a nap.
Mistake. I mean, I took a nap a couple of days ago and it was alright, so I thought what the heck… let’s try it again.
It’s funny about how things strike you. It’s funny what I’m depressed about at certain times. I’ll be driving down the street and all the sudden start to cry. Just for random things. People I will miss, people who have done nice things, people who ask me a lot of questions.
Today I just feel like there aren’t options. I feel like maybe God’s plan is for me to be the breadwinner. Which doesn’t thrill me to my toes. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. I love my job SO. MUCH. but I don’t work full time, I don’t even work part time. I work a Hilary schedule, and it’s fairly lovely and random.
It’s just one of those days. Even girls night couldn’t remove my funk.
We are so lucky. SO very lucky. Just need to focus on that. Right?