Comments on: Why I Should Stay Married https://www.pullingcurls.com/why-i-should-stay-married/ Parenting, Pregnancy & an Organized Home. Sun, 01 Mar 2020 05:57:52 +0000 hourly 1 By: Linda - Make Do and DIY https://www.pullingcurls.com/why-i-should-stay-married/comment-page-1/#comment-24258 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 11:29:59 +0000 http://www.pullingcurls.com/?p=11707#comment-24258 While I agree that love (at least lasting love) is a choice, and you definitely have to work at your marriage and make the effort to make it work, especially when the kids are small, I am lucky enough to be in a happy, (mostly!) healthy marriage, like yourself, butI am also the kid of parents who stayed together way past when they should have called it a day, and it was so damaging.
There was no violence, my parents were just people who got married and had kids too fast, before they really had time to see if they were right for each other. They made the effort, they loved us, they did their best, and yet they weren’t happy and we knew that. They separated when I was 16 and all I can remember feeling is relief
.Kids aren’t stupid, they know what’s going on at home, and while in an ideal world all marriages could be saved by working on them and putting the effort in, that isn’t always enough, and having parents who are chronically unhappy is not something kids should have to worry about.
We were lucky that my parents made the effort post-divorce to make sure we were the most important thing, and we saw as much of both of them after as we did before (my dad had worked very long hours before but took more time off after to make sure he saw us regularly).
I think more than having parents that stay married in all instances other than extreme situations (which seems to be what you are saying) I think having parents who make sure their kids live in a happy, healthy home is more important, and sometimes that home has to be a little less “normal” than it would be in an ideal world.

Sorry for he essay, but this is something I feel strongly about!

]]> By: Alie B https://www.pullingcurls.com/why-i-should-stay-married/comment-page-1/#comment-24247 Mon, 26 Oct 2015 22:32:52 +0000 http://www.pullingcurls.com/?p=11707#comment-24247 I totally agree. Staying together seems like the wrong thing at times; especially when we’re in the trenches, with multiple small children. I think the key is to always keep in mind that your spouse is in the trenches too. This is a temporary, although seemingly endless, difficult time. You just have to get through it. I think getting out TOGETHER is very important. If you don’t have built-in babysitters, like grandparents or other relatives, find a teen babysitter that you trust, and get out of the house, for goodness sake! Go out to dinner and a show, or see a band at the local pub/tavern/roadhouse. Remind yourselves what it’s like to be together without the constant demands of the children in the background. The other all important thing is to LISTEN as well as talk. When you feel listened to and understood by your spouse, the burden doesn’t seem as great. Always say “I love you” and mean it. Try to do sweet and considerate things for each other. Laugh and have fun. Enjoy private jokes. Hug and kiss. Treat your partner as you want to be treated.

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