Find it here on Apple or Spotify Podcasts

Big thanks to our sponsor The Online Prenatal Class for Couples — we have a whole section on postpartum as well as recognizing danger signs that can help ALL of you manage your entry into life with a new baby better.

Today’s guest is Kara Kushnir, psychotherapist and founder of A Work of Heart Counseling, author and current Chair of the Board for Postpartum Support International New Jersey. Kara specializes in supporting new parents and children navigating pregnancy, postpartum, anxiety, trauma and hard life transitions. Her new book, “Mama’s Thoughts” (a children’s book for parents in disguise) helps affirm new parents by considering how their baby views them despite the ups and downs many new moms experience. Through sharing her own lived experience and professional training in perinatal mental health, Kara aims to stop the stigma that keeps new moms suffering by training providers and helping new moms reclaim their confidence and trust in themselves.

• Her book: Mama’s Thoughts
• Find her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aworkofheart_counseling/
• Her Website: https://www.aworkofheartcounseling.com/

Links for you:

PSI Helpline: https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/psi-helpline/

• Call 1-800-944-4773 (4PPD) #1 En Español or #2 English
• Text “Help” to 800-944-4773 (English)
• Text en Español 971-203-7773
• Contact HelpLine

Timestamps:

00:00 “Pregnancy & Parenting Insights”

05:49 Postpartum Anxiety Concerns

06:37 Postpartum Anxiety and Self-Doubt

10:18 Leaving NICU: Overcoming New Parent Anxiety

15:31 Embrace Presence in Parenting

16:40 Prioritizing Self-Care in Parenthood

20:22 Pregnancy Mental Health Support Tips

23:25 Distinguishing Postpartum OCD from Psychosis

26:41 Perinatal Mental Health Awareness

Keypoints:

• The episode covers postpartum anxiety in-depth, aiming to demystify it and provide practical advice for new parents.
• Hosts Hilary Erickson, RN, and guest Kara Kushnir, LCSW, discuss common symptoms of postpartum anxiety, such as feeling like “jumping out of your skin” and uncontrollable worries.
• Kara highlights the difference between normal anxiety and clinical anxiety, providing signs that indicate it’s time to seek professional help.
• The episode stresses the importance of addressing perinatal mental health even during pregnancy to prevent postpartum complications.
• Differentiate between postpartum OCD and postpartum psychosis, and the seriousness of thoughts that cause distress versus those that align with the person’s beliefs.
• Kara offers practical tools for managing anxiety at home, including the ACE technique (Acknowledge, Come back into your body, Engage).
• The significance of a strong support system and the dangers of facing motherhood alone are emphasized.
• The episode encourages engaging with trained perinatal mental health professionals and promotes resources like Postpartum Support International (PSI).
• They share the PSI hotline and text line, assuring listeners that seeking help is a sign of good parenting, not failure.
• The discussion aims to reduce stigma and normalize the experience of postpartum anxiety, offering empathy and understanding for struggling parents.

Producer: Drew Erickson

Transcript

[00:00:00.000] – Hilary Erickson

Hey, guys. Welcome back to the Pulling Curls Podcast. Today, we are talking about postpartum anxiety, so let’s untangle it.

[00:00:07.980] – Hilary Erickson

Hi, I’m Hilary, a serial overcomplicator. I’m also a nurse, mom to three, and the curly head behind Pulling Curls and the Pregnancy Nurse. This podcast aims to help us stop overcomplicating things and remember how much easier it is to keep things simple. Let’s smooth out those snarls with Pregnancy and Parenting Untangled, the Pulling Curls Podcast.

[00:00:30.220] – Hilary Erickson

Today’s episode of the Pulling Curls Podcast is sponsored by the Online Prenatal Class for Couples. If you want to get prepared for everything from your third trimester all the way till when baby’s home, come join me in the online prenatal class for couples where we discuss things, including postpartum anxiety. So come join us.

[00:00:52.090] – Hilary Erickson

Today’s guest is a psychotherapist and founder of A Work of Heart Counseling. She actually has a children’s book called Mama’s Thoughts that affirm new parents by considering how their baby views them despite the ups and downs of many new mom’s experiences. She is also the Chair of the Board for Postpartum Support International. I want to introduce today’s guest, Kara Kushnir. Hey, Kara. Welcome to the Pulling Curls Podcast.

[00:01:14.780] – Kara Kushnir

Thanks for having me. I’m excited to be here with you today.

[00:01:17.120] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, excited to talk about anxiety. Those are two antithesis.

[00:01:21.420] – Kara Kushnir

Well, listen, I get it. It’s a weird thing to say, although excitement and anxiety can feel very similar in your body, so fair enough. But it’s so important, so I’m excited to be able to talk about it and demystify it, hopefully a little bit.

[00:01:33.200] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, that is 100% what I tell myself on planes. I’m like, I’m just excited to be there. It’s fine. Yeah.

[00:01:39.500] – Hilary Erickson

Okay, so I had postpartum anxiety on my first baby. I remember I had a fourth degree tear. And I was up trying to do aerobics because I felt so anxious inside. Probably wasn’t a great thing for my old perineum at that point in time.

[00:01:56.110] – Hilary Erickson

Had no idea. I was like, Oh, it’s not depression. I just feel like I want to jump out of my skin and scream 95% of the day, including when I was asleep. I would have horrible dreams about losing receipts, those little weird things that would make you anxious, like receipts flying around, and I had to grab them.

[00:02:13.890] – Hilary Erickson

So I’m so excited that you’re coming on because I hear so often people don’t know that anxiety can be an issue, and then they find themselves having the anxiety, and they don’t know what to do because they’re not suicidal, but they also cannot get comfortable in any way, shape, or form.

[00:02:29.200] – Hilary Erickson

By the way, I totally talk about this in my birth class because I think postpartum is just left behind like a sad little sister to labor.

[00:02:37.200] – Kara Kushnir

100%. Yeah, I always say when you’re getting ready to have a baby, it’s like when you get ready to get married, you’re planning for the wedding and you forget about the marriage. It’s the same thing. Everybody is all about the birth plan, all about the nursery, all about the prep. We forget that actually this is the rest of your life. ‘You’re postpartum for life’ is something we like to say in our world. But yeah, the real meat and potatoes of what it is we really need to be planning for, actually. Yeah.

[00:03:03.750] – Hilary Erickson

So what do people… How do they describe it? So I said I wanted to jump out of my skin. I couldn’t be comfortable in any way. There were a lot of worries in my mind. A lot of like, don’t drop the baby. Constantly like, don’t drop the baby. When I had worked for a pediatrician, I had been a nurse, I had never dropped a baby before.

[00:03:22.150] – Kara Kushnir

Yeah. First of all, I still like to say to commonize it, over 90 % of new moms have scary or intrusive thoughts. It is just par for the course. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have postpartum anxiety. Certainly, there is, I would argue anecdotally, and I think the research is going to catch up, far more individuals who have postpartum anxiety than we realize because people do often default and assume it’s postpartum depression, and that’s what we talk about. That’s what the media talks about. But I think it’s just as if not more potentially rampant in our society than postpartum depression.

[00:03:53.500] – Kara Kushnir

Anxiety is something that we can all feel. It doesn’t mean it’s clinical. But what new moms will say is to your point of, I feel like I’m jumping out of my skin, they also say things like, I just don’t feel like myself. I can’t stop thinking about this. Or they don’t say anything because these are the thoughts they have in their head that they’re afraid to say out loud. If you’re having thoughts of, What if I do this? What if this happens? A lot of the what if, the maybe, this could, things like that.

[00:04:20.320] – Kara Kushnir

You either don’t want to tell somebody because you think they’re going to think I’m crazy or they’re going to be, What do you mean? It’s fine. That can be a potential sign, but I think if it’s coupled with, you can’t stop thinking about it, that rumination, it’s over and over, or it’s coupled with, I can’t sleep because of it. It’s affecting how I function in my day to day. I’m really starting to feel like not only, yes, my life turned upside down because I have this new person to take care of, but it’s beyond that. It’s “I feel so out of sorts and just so lost and scared”. That’s often a sign to me something’s going on.

[00:04:54.960] – Kara Kushnir

Most of the people that end up in my office or that I speak with will say that anxiety looks like that intense, constant or repetitive presence of those kinds of thoughts. They can vary in shape or form. It’s interesting, too, is it’s not just postpartum anxiety. That can also be postpartum OCD, which is a type of anxiety disorder. There’s a lot of overlap and nuance to this for sure.

[00:05:18.920] – Hilary Erickson

Yes. Okay. I agree that I think a lot of people have anxiety, mostly about doing something wrong with this baby, right? Or themselves. Some people are concerned they’re going to not catch a problem with themselves, and they could have a bigger deal. Thankfully, so many people have just ignored themselves for so long. So I’m glad that we’re actually thinking about ourselves after we have a baby. But what are some signs that this has progressed past normal anxiety for a new mom, because there is a certain threshold that is pretty normal. Yeah.

[00:05:49.360] – Kara Kushnir

So it’s very common and normal, to your point, to be anxious in those first few weeks. Just like we think about baby blues in the first two weeks and having that significant drop in hormones and shift in your life, you’re going to experience a change in mood and anxiety level.

[00:06:02.540] – Kara Kushnir

I would expect that, especially if you’re a first-time parent. It doesn’t just have to be for a first-time parent, but certainly, if it’s continuing on now for beyond that first few weeks or month, and it’s pretty present for that duration of time, we start to realize, Okay, this is more than just I’m adjusting and having a tough time and I’m nervous. This is something more.

[00:06:22.020] – Kara Kushnir

Again, going back to functioning, the sleep piece, being able to eat, and also a lot of avoidance. So you will see a lot of new moms with anxiety avoid anything from, I’m afraid to give the baby a bath because what if something happens? And you have to be home with me to do it. To, I can’t take them out because what if this happens? Or what if they get sick? And so a lot of fear of doing typical day-to-day things, getting out there, meeting other people.

[00:06:46.570] – Kara Kushnir

So they’ll cocoon. But there’s also a lot of mistrust of self. So a lot of self-doubt talk that persists beyond that first few weeks. And I think also, really, we know that postpartum anxiety can present any time in that first year after having a baby. So just because you were okay for the first few months and you were anxious, but you were navigating it, and then you start to feel a spike in intensity, maybe at the three or the six month mark, it doesn’t mean it’s not postpartum anxiety.

[00:07:12.110] – Kara Kushnir

There’s so much nuance to how the entry into motherhood could look, whether you had a pleasant birth experience to a traumatic birth experience to life circumstances, that it might catch up with you later. If you’re noticing that you feel this way for a longer period of time within that first year, it’s a sign that it’s time to go and ask somebody about it. I think often people will go to their OB as a first line, which is a great resource, but it’s okay to even bypass them and go straight to somebody who’s trained in paredatal mental health and say, Hey, I want to meet with you and see what’s going on here if you’re concerned.

[00:07:44.120] – Kara Kushnir

Certainly, if you’re having such anxious thoughts that you’re not sleeping at all or you’re avoiding taking care of your baby, we’re talking about a real intense need to be addressed as soon as possible.

[00:07:53.450] – Hilary Erickson

As you were talking, I was thinking about two things that happened to me, especially… Well, this first one on my first baby, I could not get our car seat to click in. So I would haul him down from our third apartment landing, and there was one day I could not get it to click. I was not well-versed in car seats. You got to remember this was back in the three-point harness days, and I felt really good that we had a five-point harness day.

[00:08:13.480] – Hilary Erickson

And after that, I was so anxious to even try and put him in the car because he started crying. I thought people would make fun of me in the parking lot. All these anxiety thoughts came back to me. And I think a lot of times we don’t think about those simple things, but the car seat started to revolve a lot of anxiety for me.

[00:08:29.330] – Hilary Erickson

The second one is, every single time my husband goes back to work, I cry. Even if I am mostly pretty much handling everything at home at that point, I burst into tears. I hear that so much in my groups. People are like, My husband’s going, or my mom’s leaving, or whatever, and I’m going to have to do this on my own.

[00:08:47.190] – Hilary Erickson

I know that I can do it on my own, but I’m so nervous about it. Those are things that people might be feeling, but I agree when it just continues and continues. Or if it’s getting worse, would you say? Because that’s always my thing. When you go home, your bleeding should be getting better. You’ll probably have a ramp up of anxiety when you get home because all of a sudden the nurse isn’t there, you feel alone. Maybe you go to your pediatrician and you find out there were a couple of things you weren’t doing at a level. I think it’s normal to have your anxiety go up, unlike bleeding. Anxiety is probably going to go up a little bit when you go home.

[00:09:21.770] – Hilary Erickson

But I would say that if it keeps going up or it’s not going down, that’s a time to seek help. I agree, OB’s are not super helpful on this.

[00:09:29.940] – Kara Kushnir

Yeah. Unfortunately, by and large, what I hear is people go to their OB, they offer them some medication, and then they sell them on their way. That’s just such a bandage to the issue, and it’s so problematic. To your point of those triggers of somebody’s going back to work, another transition, another level of responsibility that comes up that’s a trigger for that anxiety to possibly intensify.

[00:09:50.260] – Kara Kushnir

I think that that points to something that’s really critical, which is that we were never supposed to do this alone, and yet we live in a world that really puts that pressure on us to to be it all, do it all, and for moms to feel so capable of, Oh, yeah, I know what I’m doing, and I’m just going to navigate this, and it’s all going to be fine. It actually makes a lot of sense sociologically for people to be nervous and anxious when they start to do things on their own. I see this, especially in parents where… I work with NICU parents. It’s terrifying when you leave the NICU. It’s terrifying to leave the hospital, period. But then you have to take care of a baby who might have extra needs or did have extra needs at that time.

[00:10:27.080] – Kara Kushnir

You doubt your ability to do it. There is comfort despite the fear of the tubes, the wires, the nurses, the being checked at 4: 00 AM, it feels like somebody’s there to catch you. I think that that shift into doing it on your own or having just a partner or just a family member who’s there for a short while, it sets us up to then have to go through it again, that same transition in another way. And that can really start to ramp up those feelings of self-doubt that underpins a lot of that anxiety. Yes.

[00:10:56.430] – Hilary Erickson

And oddly enough, when I went back to work, so I went back to work at six weeks with all of my kids, that actually decreased my anxiety because all of a sudden, I was at work, which I knew how to handle. Nothing had changed at work. People were still having babies the same way.

[00:11:09.850] – Hilary Erickson

I was like, this is so much easier than dealing with a newborn and two other kids at home. So not every transition. Sometimes I feel like that was a part where all of a sudden it started to drain away. I was like, You’re capable. Get over it. I don’t know. It’s tricky, but I get a lot of parents who are like, I’m freaking out about work. I was like, You just never know how the situation going to hit you, you have to take it a little bit because that was really surprising to me that work. I was like, I’m popping it in one spot.

[00:11:37.930] – Kara Kushnir

Yeah, but you faced that fear of taking the leap. Once you’re in it, you usually start to realize the idea of it might have been actually much more worse than the reality of it. And that’s massive for people with anxiety, right? It’s the idea. It’s the fear that keeps you stuck, not the reality. The reality, by and large, is usually, Oh, I can do this, or, Oh, I do know how to do this. So when I go back to work, I’ve got this.

[00:11:59.450] – Kara Kushnir

I felt the same way when I went back to work and I got to have an adult conversation or work with a client, I was like, wow, this is actually really easy. I know how to do this. All the other stuff, I feel like a fish out of water. Absolutely, that can definitely be the case for people. And I think that it’s funny because by and large, I see that probably more often than I see people go back to work and they say, oh, my gosh, I feel like I’m miserable. There’s sometimes a lot more guilt that can come up with that of, Oh, my gosh, I am doing so great here.

[00:12:26.020] – Kara Kushnir

What does that mean about me? And then we start to question ourselves and the anxiety could take form somewhere else. But I think that’s the trickiness. It’s like whack-a-mole sometimes with anxiety. It’s like it pops up in different places. And getting to the root of what is it you doubt in yourself or about this experience can be a really critical part of alleviating it for a lot of people.

[00:12:44.620] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. Okay, So you have your basic anxiety. What are some tools people can use just at home to manage the… Everybody’s worried that baby’s in their crib and they’re going to die during the middle of the night. I want to say that’s a worry for everyone. And honestly, that worry is never going to leave because you send them to school. You’re playing outside. You don’t know if they could fall.

[00:13:02.530] – Hilary Erickson

The worry is… You teach them how to drive, which we’re doing again at my house. The worry is always going to be something because everyone’s like, Oh, once they get past six months, I won’t have that worry about Sids anymore. I’m like, Yeah, but that worry is constant. So you have to make friends with it and just realize that that’s a part of being a mom for me.

[00:13:20.290] – Kara Kushnir

Yeah. So one of my favorite lines I tell people is the more you resist, the more it persists, meaning that the more you’re like, No, no, no, don’t think about it. It’s not true. You try to argue with anxiety. It can often get louder. Usually, the technique of acknowledging what you’re feeling, and I’m having the thought that this could happen. It’s bothering me. Putting it out there, I’m acknowledging it. It’s real. And I’m going to come back into my body and I’m going to realize I’m here, what’s actually in this present moment, what I can control, and then I’m going to keep doing whatever I need to do is the way through.

[00:13:52.250] – Kara Kushnir

A really helpful technique is ACE, right? That’s an acronym. I acknowledge the feeling, I come back into my body, and then I continue to engage in whatever it is that I am doing in that moment. If I should be sleeping, I’m going to notice my body in the bed. I’m going to notice how I feel. I’m going to pay attention to my breathing and just slow it down. Maybe I’ll do something else to help my brain settle. For some people, they need something to be a little bit more distracting.

[00:14:17.520] – Kara Kushnir

A really great technique for that could be some mental gymnastics technique around, okay, I’m going to pick, think of a word. It starts with the letter R. I’m going to come up with a bunch of other words that start with the letter R. So starting to let your brain take a break and deviate from what it was you were focusing on. Not resisting it, not outwardly saying, I can’t think about it, but choosing purposely, I’m allowed to and can think about other things. And then to that point, focusing on what you can control when you can.

[00:14:45.480] – Kara Kushnir

So going back to sleep, for example, I set up a safe sleep environment. I have the monitor. I’ve done everything I can do. Now I need to trust myself because the hard reality is that we face uncertainty all day, every day. We don’t know if we’re going to walk outside and we’re going to get struck by lightning, or if we’re going to win the lottery. We have no idea. And we do it anyway because it’s worth it. So actually learning how to face that with a baby is setting you up for success in parenthood, because as you go through, uncertainty continues to unfold in so many different ways, including all the way through to teaching your kid how to drive.

[00:15:17.190] – Kara Kushnir

That’s a whole level of uncertainty and anxiety that can emerge for folks. It’s just a nice way to remind yourself, I have faced every other hard thing I’ve had to up until this point. I’m still here. I want to enjoy as much as I can what is and be present in that.

[00:15:31.710] – Kara Kushnir

Another good way to think about the coming back into your body being present is when you are feeding baby, changing baby, you’re touching them, you’re seeing how soft their skin is, you’re really soaking them in, you’re talking to them, you’re just really allowing yourself to be present with your baby, it’s a really great way to slow it down and say, This is my life right now. I’m going to try to be present as much as I can in that, not so much getting sucked into the future or to the past and getting being immersed in this idea, this story of what could be.

[00:16:03.530] – Kara Kushnir

Because it is just a story. It’s not actually what your reality is. If you did have an adverse experience, there’s ways to address that therapeutically to alleviate the pressure that puts on you. But it doesn’t serve you to live anywhere else but the here and now.

[00:16:18.810] – Kara Kushnir

I think that way of trying to come back is really critical. I also will say, encouraging people to prioritize the things that do help them access that. If you are struggling with sleep because of anxiety, finding somebody who you do trust to be able to help you get that sleep is so critical.

[00:16:35.580] – Kara Kushnir

Protecting sleep is massive for protecting your mental health, and it’s not often sleep with a baby sleeps. It’s, I have my mom come over to be here, so if a baby wakes up, I get to have a 4: 00 to 5: 00 hour chunk of time uninterrupted to sleep. It might be hiring a doula or a night nurse.

[00:16:50.340] – Kara Kushnir

It might be, I’m noticing that I really am not eating so great. I need to prioritize that, especially for individuals who are having troubles with feeding. That’s a source of anxiety. How do I have access to lactation consultant and support? It’s really noticing, those are the places to put your energy to actually take care of you.

[00:17:08.260] – Kara Kushnir

When you are doing better, you can be in a better mental state to respond to the anxiety and also to be the best version of yourself in parenthood. It is coming back to what do I need right now, not what could happen. That’s a massive shift for people to try to make, though, and it takes practice.

[00:17:24.870] – Hilary Erickson

It’s funny when you were talking, you’re like, you could get hit by lightning or you could win the lottery. I’m like, oh, I never think about winning the lottery. And maybe that’s one of the things that you could think about to get your mind off of the negative things is how amazing this baby could end up being, right? Yes.

[00:17:39.190] – Kara Kushnir

I love that. And to that point, another technique that I will often ask people is to shift what if this happens to, I wonder what will happen. So what if something happens to my baby? I wonder what they’re going to be like when they’re three. I wonder who they’re going to be when they grow up.

[00:17:52.660] – Kara Kushnir

Giving yourself permission to wonder rather than worry is a really big shift. And it’s a gift, and it takes practice, but it’s allowing yourself, I’m allowed to feel good about this. And I think what’s really exciting about that, too, is that it gives you permission to see through your child’s eyes. That’s massive to me. I actually wrote a children’s book about motherhood for moms because of all the scary and mean thoughts we tell ourselves.

[00:18:17.150] – Kara Kushnir

And I wrote it intentionally reframing things through baby’s eyes because I wanted us to consider… Your child never looks at you and doubts you and thinks the scary things you think. They look at you and you are the sun, moon, and stars. So if you consider that you’re allowed to also take a little bit of that glimmer and that shift into the wonder that they have, that also can help you leave some of those anxious thoughts behind.

[00:18:40.790] – Hilary Erickson

Yes. What is it going to be like that first time when they’re three and they see the Christmas tree light up or they see Santa and they’re just like… There are so many magical parts of parenting that never crossed my mind with a newborn. It was like, what if we’re at the park and I can’t get the car seating the car and we literally have to live at the park and I need to find a tent?

[00:18:58.600] – Kara Kushnir

Yeah. Yeah, then you stop and you’re like, wow, what did I just say out loud? Yeah, that’s not realistic, but we buy it. We buy that story every time, even though if we took a step back to say, what do my five senses tell me right now that I can touch and see with my eyeballs? What is it that is actually realistic and possible? What does common sense say?

[00:19:19.050] – Kara Kushnir

You’re like, wait a second, hold on. This could actually be really good. It’s going to be okay. That is a really empowering place to shift to. I love that.

[00:19:26.660] – Hilary Erickson

Okay, so if people are there like, I’m not able to fix this on my own, and especially pregnant individuals, if you’re already noticing a lot of anxiety around something specific, like putting baby in their bed, maybe you have a niece or nephew or a previous loss of your own, there is absolutely no reason not to address that while you’re pregnant because it is going to be so much easier to get to your appointment while the baby is inside of you.

[00:19:49.250] – Hilary Erickson

What can people look for? I mean, I would hope OBs have someone to refer people out to, but I know that there just are not a lot of trains. So what can people look for? Who could they call? I know there’s a hotline for postpartum individuals.

[00:20:01.230] – Kara Kushnir

Yeah. So I love that you asked this. I think it’s so important. I wish I had learned about this well many, many years ago. I now actually am very involved with Postpartum Support International. And if you go to postpartum.net, there is a provider directory that you can filter and search for your state. You can filter by your insurance. You can look for specialization. And it’s a great resource to getting support.

[00:20:22.170] – Kara Kushnir

I 100 % recommend, to your point, if you’re already unsure, you have a history of anxiety, or you have a history of depression, or you’ve experienced something that was really adverse earlier in your life that you’re starting to notice might be creeping up in pregnancy. Being connected to a provider during pregnancy, we know, will by and large yield a positive and better result for you in postpartum because you already have access to a team.

[00:20:45.720] – Kara Kushnir

But more importantly, we can actually prevent some of what you might have experienced because you’ll have the tools earlier and you’ll feel more confident and safe in that transition to parenthood. It’s something that I think we wish more people would do. Some local OBs do have great connections to providers locally, and I do encourage folks to ask.

[00:21:03.640] – Kara Kushnir

I think the more we ask our providers and we put that responsibility on them to consider the need to have those connections, the better the outcomes will be, too.

[00:21:10.690] – Kara Kushnir

But certainly, for folks listening and for people who are unsure where to start, PSI at that website has a great list of resources, and there’s free virtual support groups, including one for pregnant individuals for peer support, because that’s also just as important as individual psychotherapy, medication, things that people need sometimes, whether they’re pregnant or postpartum.

[00:21:31.250] – Hilary Erickson

I remember just thinking I was completely alone. No one else felt this anxiety. Everyone else looked like they were handling parenthood like a dream. It was just Hilary in her own mind. I think understanding that other people, especially people love that because my kids are adults, well, some of them are adults now, they’re like, Oh, she made it through.

[00:21:49.680] – Hilary Erickson

Even though she had these crazy, anxious dreams, it’s really nice to know that somebody made it through that and their kids are functioning adults, right? Because you’re like, I’m a mess. I’m going to make this kid a mess if I don’t kill them, these are my two options.

[00:22:02.620] – Kara Kushnir

Yeah, no, totally. I think that’s so true. The lived experience piece is so vital. I even see it in my office. I have a preschool-age kid, and they’re like, Okay, you got through the thick of it. All right, you might know something.

[00:22:14.400] – Kara Kushnir

I think that that piece is really helpful for people to see that, yes, this too shall pass. You will get through this. You’re not alone. That’s so important. It’s destigmatizing. That’s a massive piece of this, too. We talk about speaking the secret. If more people talked about this, The reality is we probably would have far better outcomes and far greater access to care.

[00:22:35.450] – Kara Kushnir

I encourage people to find the folks who really are trained in this because it’s not just about seeing any therapist or talking to any mom. It’s like being in a community of people who intentionally choose to be there, as well as finding a provider who’s trained in perinatal mental health so that they really understand not just what this can look like, but how to get you access to the best resources and supports you might need and the most effective techniques and tools to get you where you want to be.

[00:23:01.240] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, because I think as our going out note, we should say that this can be really scary. As I look at the moms who ended up really hurting their kids or having real serious issues, everyone’s like, Oh, it’s postpartum depression. But when you hear what they’re thinking in their mind, it’s really postpartum anxiety, right? Yeah, or psychosis. There are demons coming to attack my kids. That also sounds very anxious to me rather than I’m so sad.

[00:23:25.460] – Kara Kushnir

That’s so important. I’m really glad you brought that up. It’s so critical because sometimes people will have really scary intrusive thoughts like that, and that’s where it can be a border into the difference between postpartum OCD and postpartum psychosis. Psychosis, it’s egosyntonic thoughts. It’s I agree with my thoughts. If I think my child is a demon, I believe it, I truly believe it, and I want to hurt them, that’s usually somebody’s having a psychotic episode.

[00:23:49.350] – Kara Kushnir

Whereas postpartum anxiety or OCD, I have this thought, but it’s so distressing to me. I don’t agree with it. Why am I thinking this? What’s happening to me? And sometimes untreated, Sure. Sometimes untreated, it can lead to psychosis, and that’s really challenging for folks. It’s so important the earlier you get care, the better we can prevent these tragic outcomes from happening. It’s sad that it happens at all. I do think it reflects that people don’t know what to look for.

[00:24:17.860] – Hilary Erickson

Especially support people. I love that because if you’re… In my head, I was like, at some point, you’ll get the car seat to click in, you’re not going to live in a tent. But if you’re like, I’m going to live at the park, and a homeless man is going to come and kill both of us, and my husband’s hearing me say that, I agree with this, it’s just going to escalate, then they need to think, Okay, maybe this is time to get some help. She doesn’t even realize that she’s insane at this point, would be what we think.

[00:24:42.330] – Kara Kushnir

Yeah, when you’re in that episode, I think that’s so important because usually at that point, people don’t realize that it’s a crisis, and that’s a time in emergency psychiatric support. It’s unfortunate. It happens roughly in 1-3% of cases. It’s not super, super common, but it does happen enough that we need to acknowledge it.

[00:25:00.910] – Kara Kushnir

And I think that being able to recognize and also not demonize yourself, I see this a lot with my clients with OCD. Yes. So for example, I have a lot of new moms who will talk to me about harm thoughts. Why do I keep thinking about, I’m chopping vegetables. Oh, I could stab my baby. Oh, my gosh, why are you thinking that? I don’t want to do that. Because you don’t want to do that. It’s an intrusive thought. That’s an egodystonic thought.

[00:25:22.040] – Kara Kushnir

I don’t agree with it versus, Oh, yeah, I could do that. Yeah, because my child is a demon, I should hurt them. That is different. That is an emergency, and that’s something that we need to get that parent help. We need to make sure that child is safe. People hearing that and knowing to look for that is really important because it also helps to demystify anxiety, OCD, because they can overlap a lot.

[00:25:42.860] – Kara Kushnir

It doesn’t make you a bad person. And psychosis doesn’t make that person necessarily bad. It means they’re so sick. They need so much help. We have to do something about that before they do something that they regret and can’t take back. And it’s really, I think understanding that nuance helps people to actually come forward and say, I am having these really scary intrusive thoughts. I’m so anxious. I don’t want to do this. Please help me. So that they know that it’s okay to say that because people do fear if they speak up, something terrible is going to happen, their child is going to be taken away. And that should not be the case at all. Yeah.

[00:26:14.960] – Hilary Erickson

And I think a lot of people think of it as like, I am a failure. And you should look at it the same way as, I have a headache that won’t go away. I think I need to go to the ER. My bleeding has increased. I need to go to the ER. I have a red tender spot on my calf. I need to go to the ER. We have these problem signs. It’s just a problem sign. It’s not like you are a failure. If you look at the graphs of hormones after delivery, it’s insane. It’s amazing any of us make it out alive.

[00:26:40.630] – Kara Kushnir

You’re so right. I think that’s so important is the mental and physical health component being on that equal playing field for folks. Listen, perinatal mental health or postpartum mental health conditions are the number one complication of childbirth, which means that you’re more likely to experience this than you are a pulmonary embolism or hemorrhage or anything else, this is something that more people face.

[00:27:02.010] – Kara Kushnir

If you are aware of it, you can prepare for it. You can know what to do so you can get the help immediately, and in some cases, you can prevent it. I think that is a huge thing for people to take away and realize that you don’t have to feel like this. If you do, we can do something about it. So say something. That’s a huge thing I think that people need to really embrace more of.

[00:27:23.100] – Hilary Erickson

Do you know the PSA hotline number so we can give that to people right now?

[00:27:26.150] – Kara Kushnir

Yeah, it’s 1-800-944-4773, and you can speak to someone in English or Spanish. There’s also a text line. You can text “help” to 800-944-4773, as well to get connected to someone at the PSI Helpline to get support close to you as soon as you can.

[00:27:46.620] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. And those people are amazing, so compassionate, really also passionate about helping people postpartum because they understand how important it is. So don’t be afraid to text them. They are not going to call social services on you. I know that’s the biggest concern that they are going to come take away your baby. That is not the same thing.

[00:28:03.620] – Kara Kushnir

Yeah, 100 %. I think that’s so critical is that asking for help from them and asking for help for yourself actually says what a good mom you are. Amen. It’s the opposite.

[00:28:12.250] – Hilary Erickson

Kara, thank you for coming on. I think I’m actually going to be a better teaching my kid how to drive. I’ll be like, imagine how much fun she’s having at prom rather than envisioning her with the sirens and everything in the ambulance.

[00:28:24.920] – Kara Kushnir

Yeah. No, it’s tough. Yeah. Give yourself permission. One day I won’t be a taxi driver. That’s the wonder.

[00:28:30.700] – Hilary Erickson

Amen. All right. Thanks, Kara.

[00:28:32.320] – Kara Kushnir

Thank you. Take care.

[00:28:33.530] – Hilary Erickson

Thank you guys so much for joining me on this episode. It’s not one that you’re like, Yay, let’s talk about anxiety, but it is so important. Important to know when to get help. That’s one of the key things I wanted to talk to her about, how to get help. And if you are feeling anxiety during your pregnancy, I cannot recommend any more finding someone to talk to, even just one appointment before baby’s born to give you a few tools in your toolbox.

[00:28:55.200] – Hilary Erickson

And then you already have somebody that you can reengage with after baby’s born if you’re having issues. Maybe you won’t. Hopefully, you won’t because you’ve already got those tools in the toolbox. I will say that I hear so many people saying, I can’t have a cervical exam or I can’t have an IV because I’m afraid of needles. If those kinds of fears are keeping you from enjoying your pregnancy or life, go have a chat with a therapist. I think it can only pay off a ton.

[00:29:18.710] – Hilary Erickson

Thanks for joining us on the Pulling Curls Podcast today. If you liked today’s episode, please consider reviewing, sharing, subscribing. It really helps our podcast grow. Thank you.

Keywords:

postpartum anxiety, postpartum advice, new mom anxiety, postpartum depression, perinatal mental health, mental health support, new parent fears, anxiety symptoms, birth plan, postpartum blues, psychotherapist, A Work of Heart Counseling, online prenatal class, intrusive thoughts, psychosis symptoms, postpartum OCD, sleep deprivation, postpartum support, parenting anxiety, Postpartum Support International, pregnancy nurse, childbirth complications, anxiety in motherhood, managing anxiety, infant safety, seeking therapy, support for new mothers, acceptance of anxiety, acknowledging anxiety, mental exercises for anxiety.

The post Understanding Postpartum Anxiety: Expert Tips from Kara Kushnir, LCSW appeared first on Pulling Curls.

Find it here on Apple or Spotify Podcasts

Links for you:

Timestamps:

00:00 Postpartum warning signs for pregnant and post-baby.
06:31 Notice changes in swelling, bleeding, and mood.
07:23 Upcoming topics: to-do lists, interventions, growth.

Keypoints:

1. Topic Introduction: Hilary Erickson introduces the topic of postpartum preeclampsia, emphasizing its occurrence up to a year after childbirth and the importance of recognizing the warning signs.
2. Sponsor Mention: The episode is sponsored by “Postpartum Care Made Easy,” a resource aimed at educating about postpartum care including recognizing the symptoms of preeclampsia.
3. Importance of Awareness: Hilary highlights the need for both the new mothers and their support systems to be aware of postpartum preeclampsia symptoms, as postpartum individuals may be too overwhelmed to notice the signs themselves.
4. Key Symptoms: The major symptoms to watch for include severe headaches, blurry vision, and upper-right quadrant pain which could indicate liver enlargement.
5. Home Monitoring Advice: Hilary stresses the importance of having a home blood pressure monitor to help track any significant changes in blood pressure which is a common sign of preeclampsia.
6. Differentiating Symptoms: Hilary discusses how to differentiate normal postpartum symptoms from those of preeclampsia, such as distinguishing between usual and sudden onset facial swelling.
7. Medical Response: Urgent medical care is encouraged if severe symptoms like the “worst headache of your life” occur, as delaying treatment could lead to severe complications like seizures (eclampsia).
8. Medication and Management: Discussion on the necessity of using blood pressure medication, like labetalol, to manage high blood pressure postpartum to prevent cardiac issues.
9. Communication with Healthcare Providers: The importance of informing healthcare providers that you are in the postpartum period so they can consider preeclampsia as a potential diagnosis.
10. Reminder of Progression: The notion that postpartum recovery should typically show gradual improvement and any sudden worsening of symptoms should prompt immediate medical attention.

Producer: Drew Erickson

Transcript

[00:00:00.970] – Hilary Erickson

Hey, guys. Welcome back to the Pulling Curls podcast. Today on episode 233, we are talking about postpartum preeclampsia. It is more common than you think. So what should you be watching for? Let’s untangle it.

[00:00:13.590] – Hilary Erickson

Hi, I’m Hilary, a serial overcomplicator. I’m also a nurse, mom to three, and the curly head behind Pulling Curls and the pregnancy nurse. This podcast aims to help us stop overcomplicating things and remember how much easier it is to keep things simple. Let’s smooth out those snarls with Pregnancy and Parenting Untangled, The Pulling Curls Podcast.

[00:00:42.190] – Hilary Erickson

This episode of The Pulling Curls Podcast is sponsored by Postpartum care made easy. If you’re looking for the warning signs for you, both while you’re pregnant and after baby, come join me in there. I’m going to tell you exactly what should make you call 911 or get right to the hospital, or what should trigger a call to your doctor after you have the baby. So come join me.

[00:01:00.450] – Hilary Erickson

So many people don’t know that postpartum preeclampsia can happen up to a year after you have your baby. That’s right. It’s taking a while for your system to get back to normal. Honestly, for a long time, we always heard that the main thing to get rid of it was to get the placenta out, which is true in general. But there are more and more people who are suffering with postpartum preeclampsia and really need to know the danger signs ahead of time so that they can be watching for them after they have their baby.

[00:01:26.220] – Hilary Erickson

I think this episode is really important for both the pregnant individual, but It’s also friends, family of the pregnant individual as well, so that they can know what to watch for because sometimes that pregnant person is so tired, breastfeeding, so much has changed.

[00:01:39.570] – Hilary Erickson

They aren’t going to see these problem signs, and it’s really important that they do. Okay, so what are these signs of postpartum preeclampsia? Well, one of them is going to be high blood pressure. That is something that I think everybody should have in their home is a blood pressure monitor. They’re not that expensive. I actually think the at-home ones are better than the ones at the grocery store.

[00:01:58.540] – Hilary Erickson

But having a blood pressure monitor at your home can be really handy for anybody. So that might be something that you consider, you ask for on your next Christmas gift, something like that.

[00:02:07.840] – Hilary Erickson

But here are the signs that you need to watch for. The first one is headache. Now this is tough because after you have a baby, sleep is going to be at a premium. You just aren’t going to be getting the great amount of sleep that you’ve gotten previous in your life. And so that can lead to headaches. But if you have a headache that is not resolved with a Tylenol, food, water, and a nap, that’s something you need to call your provider about. But I will say that if you have the worst headache of your life, it is just pounding, that is something that I would probably head right into either a local urgent care or the ER so they can help you right away.

[00:02:42.120] – Hilary Erickson

Honestly, probably the ER, but I know everybody’s situation varies a lot. So that’s just something you should keep in the back of your mind. You can always call your provider as well. If they’re quick to answer or answer questions or see you, that is a great option as well. Everything I’ve read has said that if you have what you feel like is the worst headache of your life, after you’ve had a baby, you should just head right into the hospital so they can make sure that it’s not preeclampsia, because if it is, it can have some serious consequences.

[00:03:08.480] – Hilary Erickson

Side note, we’re talking about preeclampsia, and a lot of people are like, Pre what? Well, eclampsia is what happens when you have a seizure. If any of you have watched Downton Abbey, you’ll notice that Lady Sibyl has the headache, she has the swelling, she has the weird things going on, and they ignored it. There was this bickering. Then after she has the baby, a couple of hours after, she starts seizing. That’s when you head into eclampsia. Sometimes we can’t get you out of this seizure. It’s a big deal. It’s really important that we take it seriously because we do not want to get it that far. That’s why we want to catch it while it’s just preeclampsia.

[00:03:43.370] – Hilary Erickson

The next one is blurry vision. Now, honestly, I haven’t seen a whole lot of people who had blurry vision that did not have a headache. I’m not talking about you wake up and your eyes are a little fuzzy. You’re waking up, your eyes have woken up, and it’s still blurry. That’s something you want to call your provider about. It can be a sign of preeclampsia. Just because your blood pressure is rising, it impacts your vision nerves and things like that. So blurry vision can be something to watch for after your baby as well.

[00:04:07.720] – Hilary Erickson

Then the final one that you’re going to watch for at home is some right upper quadrant pain. It’s usually pain right under your ribs. That is from an enlarging of your liver, and that can be a sign of preeclampsia as well. But the main one that we watch for is really the headache. Now, if you have a blood pressure monitor at home and you have that headache, you can take your blood pressure and see how it is. Preeclampsia doesn’t always come with increased blood pressure, but most often it does.

[00:04:32.760] – Hilary Erickson

Now, a couple of things that people always thought was preeclampsia was swelling, but it turns out it’s really hard to differentiate regular pregnancy swelling from preeclampsia swelling. Something that we do notice is facial swelling that comes on suddenly. That’s something that’s a little bit more of a trigger that it’s a problem rather than just my feet and my legs are swollen. After you have a baby, your feet and legs are going to feel a little swollen. Usually, we’ve given you a lot of IV fluids in the hospital, especially if you’ve got an epidural, so it takes a little bit of time for those to come down.

[00:04:59.690] – Hilary Erickson

Now, I also want to be really clear that increased blood pressure after delivery, both during pregnancy and after delivery, is getting to be a bigger problem as well. Sometimes doctors are hesitant or just don’t prescribe labetal or other blood pressure medications so that they can keep it under control. But I want to be really clear that if your blood pressure stays high for an extended period of time, that can injure your heart. You got to think it’s a closed system. If, let’s say, you pump your bike tire up too much, which is what that is, at some point, the heart is going to have issues with it.

[00:05:31.090] – Hilary Erickson

It’s really important that you keep an eye on that blood pressure. If you’re on blood pressure medications, keep an eye on all of that because that can end up leading to other things. Now, I do want to be clear that high blood pressure and preeclampsia are two different things. Preeclampsia includes high blood pressure, but high blood pressure does not always include preeclampsia. But either way, you want to keep an eye on all of that. A lot of times you need blood pressure meds if you’ve had preeclampsia to just help that blood pressure come under control. Again, all of that can happen anytime during that first year.

[00:06:03.660] – Hilary Erickson

A couple of things to remind you, if you go in to a provider, remind them that you have had a baby XYZ number of months ago, especially if it was really recent. But they need to know that right off because it’s really important that we’re thinking this could be a problem with pregnancy right away rather than, I’m just coming in with a headache. That looks different than Hilary, who hasn’t had a baby in 14 years coming in with a headache. If that makes sense to you.

[00:06:27.010] – Hilary Erickson

The other thing when you’re postpartum is that everything should be getting a little bit better every day. I think that’s a good thing to notice all along. If suddenly the swelling increases, that’s a problem sign that you’re going to want to keep an eye on. If your bleeding increases, if your mood decreases and it’s been getting better, all those different things. If you’re noticing that something is drastically worse the one day to the next, that’s something to keep an eye on.

[00:06:49.800] – Hilary Erickson

I talk about all of these things over in Postpartum Care Made Easy. There is actually a free walkthrough, like a presentation that you can go through the slides and read the information, or you can include the video walkthrough for just a few dollars more where I go through the slides with you, tell you some of my personal experience, and help you to understand what you need to be watching for.

[00:07:08.810] – Hilary Erickson

Those are my tips for postpartum preeclampsia. Most of all, I want to remind you that it can happen anytime in the first year, plus while you were pregnant. So I think it’s really important that you’re learning these signs during pregnancy and also knowing that you should watch for them after a baby is born. Thanks so much for listening.

[00:07:24.940] – Hilary Erickson

Next week, we are talking about making a weekly list of to-dos for organizing around your home, so stay tuned for that. Then the week after that, we are talking about the cascade of interventions, which you’ll see talked about on social media a little bit. We’re going to talk about how that works and how you can monitor it in your own situation.

[00:07:42.030] – Hilary Erickson

Thanks for joining us on the Pulling Curls podcast today. If you like today’s episode, please consider reviewing, sharing, subscribing. It really helps our podcast grow. Thank you.

Keywords:

postpartum preeclampsia, high blood pressure, headache, blurry vision, right upper quadrant pain, eclampsia, seizure, pregnancy complications, blood pressure monitor, urgent care, emergency room, facial swelling, labetalol, blood pressure medication, heart health, pregnancy health, swelling during pregnancy, postpartum care, pregnancy education, warning signs during pregnancy, maternal health, postpartum monitoring, podcast on pregnancy, pregnancy advice, nurse advice, health education, home health monitoring, pregnancy risks, postpartum symptoms, IV fluids during labor.

The post What Every New Parent Should Know About Postpartum Preeclampsia appeared first on Pulling Curls.

Find it here on Apple or Spotify Podcasts

Big thanks to our sponsor Postpartum Care Made Easy — it’s really all about staying safe after baby is born!

Links for you:

Study on 4 hours of sleep preventing postpartum depression: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5322694/

Timestamps:

00:00 Postpartum care, sleep crucial for new mothers.
03:39 Ensure both get 4 hours of rest nightly.
08:05 Breastfeeding challenges and co-sleeping concerns discussed.

Keypoints:

1. Getting 4 hours of continuous sleep after having a baby is crucial for preventing postpartum depression.
2. It is essential to prioritize sleep for both partners, as this can significantly impact mental health.
3. Prioritize rest after the first month, as the first few weeks are typically unpredictable and tough for both parents and the baby.
4. It’s important to involve and plan with your partner to ensure that both caregivers are able to get 4 hours of sleep.
5. Discuss and decide on a plan for feeding the baby during the 4-hour sleep period, considering options such as pumped breast milk or formula feeding.
6. Consider a shift-based sleep schedule, with one partner taking the late shift and the other taking the early shift to ensure both parents get adequate rest.
7. Babies may not need to be fed immediately upon making sounds, as sometimes they may go back to sleep on their own.
8. Co-sleeping is discouraged due to safety concerns and the potential to disrupt continuous sleep for both the parents and the baby.
9. Join the discussion on Instagram or Facebook to share and gather ideas on how to make the sleep plan work for your family.
10. Consider balancing sleep on weekends, allowing the partner who typically handles nighttime feedings to get some extra rest.

Producer: Drew Erickson

Transript

[00:00:00.000] – Hilary Erickson

Hey, guys. Welcome back to the Pulling Curls podcast. Today, on episode 228, we are talking about sleep, and sleep after baby, and getting four hours of continuous sleep. So let’s untangle it.

[00:00:12.830] – Hilary Erickson

Hi, I’m Hilary, a serial overcomplicator. I’m also a nurse, mom to three, and the curly head behind Pulling Curls and the pregnancy nurse. This podcast aims to help us stop overcomplicating things and remember how much easier it is to keep things simple. Let’s smooth out those snarls with pregnancy and Parenting Untangled: The Pulling Curls podcast.

[00:00:39.700] – Hilary Erickson

Before we get started, this episode of The Pulling Curls podcast is sponsored by Postpartum Care Made Easy. If you’re looking to stay safe after you have your baby, come join me where we walk through some of the trouble signs that you’re going to need to watch for so that you can stay safe after baby is born because postpartum mortality rates are rising, and I do not want you to be a statistic.

[00:01:00.270] – Hilary Erickson

Okay, guys, studies show that if you get four continuous hours of sleep in the first month after baby is born, you are less likely to have postpartum depression. And when I read that study, I was like, well, duh, right?

[00:01:14.970] – Hilary Erickson

I feel like amongst my friends, when we were talking about when we were all having babies, when we could get that baby to sleep four hours, we were like, now it’s doable. Now I feel like I can live my life if I can just get four hours of straight sleep, Which in general is like baby sleeping four and a half hours, almost. Because by the time you lay them down, then you put away the bottle or whatever your breastfeeding does, then… But a baby can get four hours of sleep. You can handle that.

[00:01:43.800] – Hilary Erickson

And As moms, we’ve all felt like, yes, this is the answer. So when I read that study, I was like, okay, this is not a big surprise to me. So let’s talk about how you can get those four hours of sleep, because when you talk with lactation, they’re like, well, it’s really important that you keep up your milk supply, yada, yada. And I agree, milk supply is really important. I’m a huge breastfeeding proponent, but I’m also a huge mental health proponent. And mental health issues are the number one reason for mortality during pregnancy for women in the United States.

[00:02:18.310] – Hilary Erickson

So if we can do something as simple as getting sleep to prevent it, I’m here for it. Let’s figure out how to do it. Okay, let me also stress that this was after one month, right? If we had had a A full month going where we weren’t getting four hours of continuous sleep, that is when the trigger started that you were more likely to get postpartum depression, which makes sense because in those first 2-3 weeks, it is just a crapshoot.

[00:02:41.840] – Hilary Erickson

We don’t know what baby is doing. We don’t know what we’re doing. Even on baby two, three, it was still that way. Those first few weeks is just tough. Baby is not on a schedule. You are not on a schedule. No one is on a schedule. You are just struggling. It is like one giant two week day, right? So you have to go in planning on that, planning on those sleepless nights for the first couple of weeks. But when you go into week three, you really need to start thinking, okay, I need to start prioritizing three hours of sleep, which the good news is by that point, your milk supply should start to stabilize a little bit.

[00:03:13.130] – Hilary Erickson

And you shouldn’t be having to do things to make your milk supply come in better and better, especially during the night. You can focus on those activities during the day. The first thing you need to do is during pregnancy, I would encourage you to talk with your partner about how you can make this happen for both both of you because it is important that both of you are getting those four hours of sleep.

[00:03:33.840] – Hilary Erickson

Now, we tend to let the partner get those four hours of sleep, and that is not doing us any favors. We need to make sure that we are both getting four hours of rest at night. So what are you going to do for it? Talk about it while you’re pregnant so you have a plan going in about how you’re both going to be able to get rest. And sometimes when I bring stuff up to my husband, we’re looking at it as a team instead of at each other. You get so much sleep and I don’t get any. And then you’re conflicting versus if you’re going for the problem straight on, it really helps. And sometimes my husband has ideas that I wouldn’t have had because I’m only looking at it from Hilary’s way and he is looking at it from a different way.

[00:04:11.680] – Hilary Erickson

The second thing to do is decide what you are planning to do if baby needs to eat during those four hours, because obviously you aren’t going to sleep with earplugs and a sound machine at 400 decibels and just let baby scream while you’re getting those four hours of sleep. The idea is that one partner is taking that shift. That doesn’t mean that they can’t sleep during that time frame, but that means that that’s their four hour spot to monitor, right? How are you going to feed baby during that time? So you can either A, pump breast milk so that you have that on hand for baby, or B, use formula. You can decide this, talk with your pediatrician, you can talk with a lactation consultant, obviously.

[00:04:48.100] – Hilary Erickson

If you have breast milk, that’s probably your best option. But formula is great. And studies really do show that moms who use a little bit of formula now and then end up breastfeeding longer, although the lactation community doesn’t want you to hear about They seem to say that any time you give baby formula, it’s hurting them and you should only be using breast milk. But if you look at the studies, there are good studies about using formula every now and then and how it might help you out, especially in the beginning when you may not have a pumped supply.

[00:05:15.140] – Hilary Erickson

Your mental health is important to your supply as well. So don’t not trust formula. And if you are pregnant, I would encourage you to get on those lists for formula to get some free cans to have at your house so that you can try them in situations like this. Okay, and then how are you going to get the four hours? For most people, I think it really works for one partner to take the late shift and one partner to take the early shift. So I am a go to bed early a gal. So if I started to go to bed at 9:00 PM, I would sleep from 9:00 PM until 1:00 AM, and then my partner would take over and they would sleep from 1:00 AM till whenever they woke up. Now, that really isn’t fair for the other partner because they aren’t taking as much, but at least you’re getting those four hours. And this isn’t to say that you can’t sleep while the other shift is going on. So let’s say you get up at 1:00 AM, you feed baby. Then hopefully you’ve timed it to where baby will be hungry right when you get up.

[00:06:07.900] – Hilary Erickson

That way you don’t have to pump. But I would encourage you that if baby just ate, try and pump because that will help clean up your supply. And Then you feed baby, and then hopefully you get some more rest, right? The baby goes down from two until five, and then you’re up again, feed, and then maybe you sleep again.

[00:06:25.900] – Hilary Erickson

But you’re trying to aim for those four continuous hours at some point during the night. And I think that the shift thing is what I’ve seen work best for most people, where one parent takes one shift that they’re just in charge. That, again, does not mean that you need to be awake that whole time. But if baby needs to eat, you’re in charge. And then the other one takes another shift where they’re in charge for those four hours. And if both of you are laid out, then maybe you alternate the early morning shift or you figure out something that works for you. I will say that when I have babies, a lot of times my circadian rhythm goes different. So even if I was a night out, which I was before I had kids, I am no longer a night owl after that baby comes.

[00:07:02.750] – Hilary Erickson

Mostly, I just want any form of sleep I can get. I’m not an owl anymore. I’m just a recluse who just wants sleep. One other tip is that a lot of times we hear baby grunting and we’ll think, oh, my gosh, they need to get up and eat, right? Because In the hospital, we talk about watching for cues for baby’s hunger. But when your baby is three weeks old, they’re going to let you know if you’re hungry. So if they’re just grunting and making some sounds, baby may go back to sleep. So don’t feel like you need to get them right up the first peep that they make.

[00:07:27.330] – Hilary Erickson

And make sure that your partner knows that too, because they may be a little bit nervous about feeding a bottle and they don’t want baby to be screaming while they’re trying to make that bottle. So just let your partner know. Wait until they’re actually crying and hungry before you feed them. But a lot of times people think any peep, I’m going to give them a bottle, and that’s not the best thing because sometimes they’re just moving and making a peep. So that’s fine.

[00:07:48.840] – Hilary Erickson

And finally, because I’m the pregnancy nurse, I need to remind you guys that co-sleeping is not the answer to this. In fact, co-sleeping, you may end up getting even worse night’s rest because, A, you might be concerned, as you should be, about hurting the baby as you’re sleeping, which may decrease how well you sleep during the night. But also any peep baby makes, a lot of times you just pull out your boob and stick it in their mouth, which again decreases how much continuous sleep you’re getting.

[00:08:13.460] – Hilary Erickson

Also, I am just not a fan of co-sleeping. If you’ve seen the outcomes of poorly done co-sleeping, you would not be a fan of co-sleeping either. You guys can always choose what you’re going to do on your own, but I am not a co-sleeping fan, and I will never support it in any of my groups.

[00:08:27.770] – Hilary Erickson

Anyway, how are you going to get your four hours of continuous sleep? I want you to come over to Instagram or Facebook, find us in the post that’s about this episode. Great conversation over there. Maybe some people have ideas that you haven’t had, and you can get ideas to make this work in your family because I think it’s so important to prioritize sleep for both partners.

[00:08:47.300] – Hilary Erickson

Sometimes extra for moms because dads somehow seem to get the sleep. But great tips for everybody. And remember that when your partner’s off, on weekends, if you feel like it’s not very balanced on weekends, they are not going to work. So maybe the extra sleep can go to you, even though you feel like you have to get up and pump. It’s complicated. I get it, guys. It’s complicated. But having that target of four hours, hopefully it helps you out.

[00:09:09.760] – Hilary Erickson

Stay tuned, because next week we are talking about getting your kids to help out more around the house. And then the week after that, I’m going to talk a little bit about confrontation and how I make it work for me. Stay tuned. Thanks for joining us on the Pulling Curls podcast today. If you like today’s episode, please consider reviewing, sharing, subscribing. It really helps our podcast grow. Thank you.

Keywords:

Sleep after baby, getting 4 hours of continuous sleep, postpartum depression, lactation, milk supply, mental health, postpartum mortality rates, baby’s schedule, partner support, feeding baby, formula feeding, breast pumping, circadian rhythm, baby cues, co-sleeping, Instagram, Facebook, parenting tips, family support, weekend rest, balance, kids’ chores, confrontation, pregnancy nurse, maternal health, maternal mortality rates, podcast, reviewing, subscribing

The post Postpartum Power Rest: Getting your 4 continuous hours appeared first on Pulling Curls.

Find it here on Apple or Spotify Podcasts

Big thanks to our sponsor my new class Postpartum Made Easy: It’s about You Too — SO much good postpartum advice to help keep you safe!

Timestamps:

00:00 Encouragement for postpartum plan and monitoring signs.
04:04 Leverage support for better postpartum sleep and nutrition.
06:26 Postpartum care, pelvic therapy, and labor insights.

Keypoints:

1. The importance of having a postpartum plan
2. Identification of three key components of a postpartum plan
3. Reviewing signs to watch for after birth
4. The significance of having a support system after giving birth
5. Understanding how to utilize help effectively
6. The importance of getting continuous sleep and utilizing support for it
7. The need for open communication with family members about postpartum needs
8. Nurturing oneself postpartum and taking time to heal
9. Encouragement to prepare for life after the baby is born
10. A preview of the upcoming podcast topics on postpartum care and labor nurse responsibilities.

Producer: Drew Erickson

Transcript

[00:00:00.200] – Hilary Erickson

Hey, guys. Welcome back to the Pulling Curls Podcast. Today, we are talking about your postpartum plan. I think it is so important, so let’s untangle it.

[00:00:10.190] – Hilary Erickson

Hi, I’m Hilary, a serial overcomplicator. I’m also a nurse, mom to three, and the curly head behind Pulling Curls and the pregnancy nurse. This podcast aims to help us stop over complicating things and remember how much easier it is to keep things simple. Let’s smooth out those snarles with pregnancy and parenting untangled, the Pulling Curls Podcast.

[00:00:37.100] – Hilary Erickson

Today’s episode is sponsored by my postpartum checklist. You are going to want to make sure to grab that. It gives you all the things that you’re going to need for your body after baby is born because it is so easy to forget those things when you’re planning for all the needs of a baby, so go grab it.

[00:00:52.070] – Hilary Erickson

People spend so much time thinking about their labor plan, right? But did you know that your postpartum plan is way longer lasting. You have more control over it. There’s more planning that you can do. It is so helpful.

[00:01:05.420] – Hilary Erickson

I want to encourage all of you guys to make a postpartum plan. I’m going to give you three things that you guys can think about to put on there because I think it is so important.

[00:01:14.650] – Hilary Erickson

These are things that we actually talk a lot about in the online prenatal class for couples where we dive into things that you and your partner should be thinking about before baby is born, including where is baby going to sleep? Because a lot of times mom has an idea of where baby is going to sleep and dad has a completely different idea and they are not on the same page at all. Even simple things like that can be really important to review before baby comes.

[00:01:36.040] – Hilary Erickson

One of the most important things is to review what to watch for. I actually have a whole postpartum class that reviews the trouble signs of what to watch for after baby is out. Because if you are in the United States, you know that postpartum mortality is rising and I want to stop that.

[00:01:51.650] – Hilary Erickson

There are some specific things that you and your partner can watch out for to help protect you and stay safe after baby is born. Things like fever, blood clots larger than a golf ball, feelings about hurting yourself or others, all these different things you’re going to want to go through. I will put that in the show notes where you guys can check it out.

[00:02:09.150] – Hilary Erickson

The second thing you’re going to want on your postpartum plan is who can help you. Hopefully you have a partner that can help you. You guys need to review how long they’re going to be able to be home, honestly, how long you’re going to be able to be home from work and things like that, and who can come help you? His mom, can they come help you? Your mom, people from church, people from your community. Who can come over and help you?

[00:02:28.640] – Hilary Erickson

I actually just went the other day and helped my friend clean after a baby because that is actually easier for me where I’m at in my life than making dinner for somebody, and she really appreciated it. Thinking about who can come help you and what you could use from those people, this isn’t to say that people will always come and help clean your house, but these are just things you can have an idea of, Yeah, that would be really great. I was actually really glad that my friend let me come over and clean her house because she had lots of kids and I just think it was a great way to help.

[00:02:56.770] – Hilary Erickson

I think it would be really easy to have Pride get in the way and be like, No, I don’t want somebody to come clean my house, but I’m so glad that she let me come. I felt really good going over to help her out. Who can come help you? If you don’t get along well with your mother-in-law, she may not be a great option to have come in the first few weeks because that might hurt your mental health to a certain point.

[00:03:14.490] – Hilary Erickson

I wish I had had a talk with my mom about what I would have found helpful for her because it wasn’t exceedingly helpful what she did do or how much she was able to do. I think if we had had a little bit more open communication line about what would be helpful, I think might have been better for both of us.

[00:03:31.750] – Hilary Erickson

I will say that my mom was so helpful on babies two and three because I had another kid and she was really great with the other kids. That was super helpful. Our needs changed. On the first one, I needed her to come help me do a baby bath and things like that. On the second one, I didn’t need that, but I needed somebody to reassure my other kids that life wasn’t falling apart, even though it really was falling apart, and it seemed like it was falling apart probably to them.

[00:03:55.140] – Hilary Erickson

Then the last thing is how can that help you? I think a lot of times we’re like, How are they going to come help us with the baby? Often it’s just like, Yeah, I’ll come hold the baby for you. I’ll tell you the baby’s cute, or I’ll bring you a present.

[00:04:07.810] – Hilary Erickson

But how is that going to help you? One of the most important things that you can do postpartum is try to get four hours of continuous sleep in a few times a week in the first month of life. That probably isn’t going to happen in the first couple weeks of life, but hopefully after that, after your milk supplies come in and things are going a little bit better, you can somehow try and get four hours of sleep in. That means using your partner, it might mean using your mom. Maybe your mom can put the baby to sleep after you feed or something like that. How are you going to use those people to actually help you. Making dinner, things like that?

[00:04:42.200] – Hilary Erickson

Having people bring in fruits and vegetables, that can help you. Because a lot of times you’re just like, I’m just going to eat Oreos all day because they’re there. Whereas if it had been cut up cantalope, I probably would have eaten that just as easily as I ate Oreos. I just needed something that I could grab and put in my mouth because I wasn’t sitting down to eat full meals like I normally was.

[00:05:01.540] – Hilary Erickson

So how can you use the people who will be around you and available to help to help mom? Not always so much to help baby, if that makes sense.

[00:05:10.460] – Hilary Erickson

Honestly, just having somebody who calls and checks in on you and reminds you to take it easy, that you don’t need to be going to Costco, that other people would be happy to bring something in. You can just Venmo them for the milk that they brought you. I have so many friends that are like, Oh, I needed to run to the store. I’m like, No, you didn’t. I would have brought that to you. Stay in and stay safe.

[00:05:29.440] – Hilary Erickson

I do love the idea that you take a few days in bed once you get home and then you have few days around the bed and then a few days where you return to the bed very frequently. Some people do that. They call it the 555. They’re in the bed for five days, they’re around the bed for five days, and then they’re close by the bed for five days. Because I think in the United States, one of our biggest problems is that we overdo it.

[00:05:51.450] – Hilary Erickson

We think, Well, I’m just back to normal. I’ve just had a baby. I’ve got to return to regular life. Because a lot of us maybe have to go to work within six weeks or something like that. That is not the case. Take those six weeks to heal. You don’t need to be back to normal by two weeks because you do at least have a little bit more time. So be kinder to yourselves.

[00:06:07.730] – Hilary Erickson

Talk with your partner about who can help you, how they’re going to help, and how you could maybe get those four hours of sleep in. Those are my best tips. I hope you guys are going to make a postpartum plan and come join me in the online prenatal class for couples where we go over lots of things like this that can really help you get prepared for life after baby. Because life after baby lasts a really long time and labor, maybe max two, maybe three days of your life and parenting lasts a lot longer than that. So getting off on a good start on your postpartum life is a great thing.

[00:06:37.570] – Hilary Erickson

Stay tuned. We’ve got some good things coming up. We are talking about pelvic floor physical therapy. A great one to go along with this because that should be on your postpartum plan too. How are you going to get your pelvic floor retoned so you’re not peeing your pants the rest of your life?

[00:06:48.770] – Hilary Erickson

And then the week after that, I’m talking a little bit about what your labor nurse is doing with all the charting because there is so much charting and I don’t think people understand what they’re doing and what they’re assessing all the time. So stay tuned.

[00:06:59.470] – Hilary Erickson

Thanks for joining us on The Pulling Curls Podcast today. If you like today’s episode, please consider reviewing, sharing, subscribing. It really helps our podcast grow. Thank you.

Keywords:

postpartum plan, labor plan, prenatal class, postpartum checklist, postpartum mortality, trouble signs, partner support, maternal health, continuous sleep, support system, mental health, community support, pelvic floor physical therapy, charting in labor, parenting tips, baby care, partner communication, maternal recovery, newborn care, maternal well-being, self-care after birth, maternal support, postpartum healing, postpartum period, new motherhood, maternal rest, returning to work after birth, childbirth recovery, postpartum resources, postpartum assistance

The post Your Post-Baby Plan: Setting Yourself Up for Success in the Fourth Trimester appeared first on Pulling Curls.

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Big thanks to our sponsor my postpartum checklist: https://birdsend.page/forms/844/aDZzbjpRhJ

Today’s guest is Dr. Franziska Haydanek, an ObGyn attending, former blogger, current TIktok obsessed, and mama of two young children. Find her on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@pagingdrfran

Links for you:

Dr Fran’s previous episode (also great — episode 148): https://www.pullingcurls.com/podcast-148-refuse-routine/

Timestamps:

00:02:57 Postpartum is happier than pregnancy for me.
00:04:22 He didn’t have time for sitting around, which was great for him, but not helpful for me in the postpartum state. Children went to daycare to maintain routine.
00:09:23 Physical and mental states after childbirth.
00:13:03 Stay flexible, avoid disappointment and anxiety.
00:15:19 Bay Area normalized us; expect and move on, cry but still manage.
00:19:01 TikTok reveals surprising postpartum sleep struggles.
00:22:43 Doctor Fran thanks for joining, sponsored by Postpartum Checklist. Get free postpartum organization checklist. Last episode of mindset month.

Keypoints:

1. The importance of addressing the postpartum mindset and the challenges it presents.
2. The role of sleep deprivation and its impact on new parents’ well-being.
3. The experiences of both speakers in returning to work after having a baby.
4. The need for flexibility and adaptability in postpartum routines and schedules.
5. The challenges and benefits of having children in daycare during the postpartum period.
6. The importance of having an equal parenting partner and a smooth transition into the postpartum period.
7. The struggles and successes of breastfeeding, including difficulties and support systems.
8. The impact of postpartum anxiety on new parents and strategies for coping with it.
9. The benefits of focusing on the positive aspects of postpartum recovery, such as newfound freedom.
10. The recognition of privilege in postpartum experiences, including support and financial stability.

Producer: Drew Erickson

Transcript

[00:00:00.120] – Hilary Erickson

Hey guys. Welcome back to the Pulling Curls podcast. We are continuing with Mindset Month today with episode 215, Postpartum Mindset, and I have one of my favorite doctors coming on, so let’s untangle it.

[00:00:11.680] – Hilary Erickson

Hi, I’m Hilary, a serial overcomplicator. I’m also a nurse, mom to three, and the curly head behind Pulling Curls and the pregnancy nurse. This podcast aims to help us stop overcomplicating things and remember how much easier it is to keep things simple. Let’s smooth out those snarls with Pregnancy and parenting untangled, The Pulling Curls Podcast.

[00:00:42.350] – Hilary Erickson

Today’s guest, from the minute I saw her on TikTok, I thought, I like her, which is not true for all the OB-GYNs I see on The Tikkity Tok. She actually just had a baby five weeks ago, which puts her in a great area to have this chat with us. I wanted to introduce today’s guest, Paging Doctor Fran.

[00:00:57.770] – Hilary Erickson

Hey, Doctor Fran, welcome back to The Pulling Curls Podcast.

[00:01:00.970] – Dr Fran

Hi. Thank you so much for having me again.

[00:01:02.900] – Hilary Erickson

We have a new…!

[00:01:04.830] – Dr Fran

We do. We got a new little friend to see his baby, Frederick. He’s five weeks old.

[00:01:10.010] – Hilary Erickson

Five weeks. Are you getting much sleep?

[00:01:13.990] – Dr Fran

No. No, he’s doing that newborn every two hours he’s got to wake up and eat situation, but we’re doing okay.

[00:01:22.760] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. Okay. Before we started, I asked you when you go back to work.

[00:01:27.750] – Hilary Erickson

When I first had my baby, I went back to work, but honestly, none of my friends did. My oldest was born in 2000, but really, I didn’t have friends. If they had a baby, you stopped working.

[00:01:38.030] – Dr Fran

Yeah, for sure. Which is amazing for the people who that works for them and their families. I did the stay at home mom thing for six months after my second child, and I realized maybe that wasn’t best for me either. We’re doing good since I will get 14 weeks off. I think that’s a nice amount of time for my family.

[00:01:56.270] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. I went back at five weeks part-time. I had a fourth-degree tear. I thought my uterus was going to fall on the floor.

[00:02:04.120] – Dr Fran

Don’t mind me.

[00:02:05.380] – Hilary Erickson

I was going to have to ask the old people to pick it up for me because I worked in the nursing home.

[00:02:09.260] – Dr Fran

You weren’t a labor and delivery nurse then?

[00:02:11.620] – Hilary Erickson

No, I didn’t start that till after our first baby. You got to put your time in the trenches as a nurse to the ugly. Oh, yeah.

[00:02:20.910] – Dr Fran

That’s true. That’s true. I hear you.

[00:02:23.140] – Hilary Erickson

All right. We have a whole Mindset Month here at Pulling Curls. And today we’re talking about the postpartum Mindset. I thought it would be really fun to have because I think a lot of people look at me and they’re like, I’m sure you handled having a baby with no problem. That’s just what you did. And that was a lie. That’s not how it worked out for me personally, but I thought it would be fun to have you on and talk about… Because you’re in it, whereas I just have memories.

[00:02:47.040] – Dr Fran

Yes. Your children are in a different awesome phase that’s different than my awesome phase.

[00:02:52.020] – Hilary Erickson

Yes. What are some tips for postpartum mindset you think for you?

[00:02:57.860] – Dr Fran

For me, I think a couple of things that helped… So postpartum is my happy time compared to pregnancy, which is my not happy time. I think part of that is just like physically feel better than I do during pregnancy. But part of it is also that I have time now to be mindful and do the things that make me feel better compared to when I am not in a postpartum leave and I’m like working and being a mom and try to do 7,000 things at once. I’m just trying to be mindful of the things that make me happy during this time period and ways that that can benefit my mental and emotional and physical state.

[00:03:34.650] – Hilary Erickson

That’s awesome. You really look to help yourself. How off is your husband?

[00:03:40.880] – Dr Fran

How long was he off from work?

[00:03:42.130] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah.

[00:03:42.470] – Dr Fran

He was home for two weeks. Okay. My husband’s a family medicine doctor, and so he could have had time off technically because of New York State. We have a lot of nice paid family leave time, but it’s not compensated very well. So both of us out for a long period of time just didn’t work for our families. He took two weeks of vacation.

[00:04:01.890] – Hilary Erickson

Personally, my husband’s a teacher and teachers don’t get anything. Obviously, we all know that stupid. But he would take maybe five days on the last baby because he had had a bunch of vacation accrued.

[00:04:14.460] – Hilary Erickson

I don’t… And then I would have my mom come when he was done. I don’t know how helpful. I don’t know. Would you wish he was home longer?

[00:04:21.910] – Dr Fran

No, because he also does not love just sitting around. He was just doing things, which is great for him. I’m happy he got the time to, for him, mentally and emotionally and physically do things that he wanted to do. But it wasn’t so helpful to me and the postpartum state.

[00:04:37.100] – Dr Fran

Part of that also is that because our children go to daycare and we couldn’t pause their daycare time, we chose that for the first week we were home together as a family, but after that they would go back to daycare less hours than when I’m working full-time, but just to keep them in their routine, keep them seeing their friends, keep them stimulated, which I think was helpful for us as a family. I would have kept them home if they could have held our spots, but we have to pay for it anyway. We’re trying to utilize it, balance it for us.

[00:05:05.910] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. Plus, you want to keep things as normal for them as you can instead of just everything.

[00:05:11.660] – Dr Fran

Yes. Right now, everything is revolving on the baby. I would hate to be sitting around a lot and be like, No, sorry, we can’t go do this. No, sorry. We can’t go do that. They have fun with their friends. We come home and we have family time and that really works for us. I don’t think it would have been too helpful for my husband to be home a lot because he would have been doing stuff around the house anyway, which I would prefer. I don’t need him to like, I was doing just fine just holding the baby all by myself.

[00:05:36.570] – Hilary Erickson

You don’t need him to run you a bath, although you can’t be in the bath anyway. No.

[00:05:40.770] – Dr Fran

I mean, my husband, I will say I am very lucky. I have a very, very equal parenting partner, very helpful. We’re very equal and everything. I find that the transition into the state was just the same as before.

[00:05:54.570] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. I will say I was the opposite of you. I was like, I still need to keep everything going because my husband wasn’t off very long, my mom is not helpful as far as around the house. She’s very helpful with other children, like once I had other children, but was not helpful. I was like, I still need to keep cleaning. I still need to check the coupons and clip the coupons because we can’t go over on our grocery budget. I need to, you know. I did not take that time for myself. I think that is such good advice because, I mean, I think some of mine was postpartum anxiety where that was like some action I was doing to try and have some control over things I didn’t have any control over.

[00:06:29.620] – Dr Fran

Do you feel that that’s better with each child? I felt I had with my first child, I can recognize it now as like postpartum anxiety. I had a lot of intrusive thoughts and like, Oh, my God, would I get run off the road and die and all these horrible things? I feel like with each child, it has lessened, do you find that that happened to you or not so much?

[00:06:49.120] – Hilary Erickson

It was the worst on number three. Well, number one was just such a mess. I’m not really… I think I blacked out a lot of that. I learned that breastfeeding didn’t work for me. I had that fourth-degree tear. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn’t get the car seat in the car, so I just didn’t go anywhere. We lived on the third floor, the tear, trying to get the car seat in the car. I would just stay at home.

[00:07:10.830] – Hilary Erickson

Second baby, though, we moved 10 days after we bought a house and moved 10 days after I had him. It was the best, I think, because I had action I needed to actually do instead of cleaning my bathrooms and cutting coupons, which really don’t actually need to be done.

[00:07:26.710] – Dr Fran

Yes and no.

[00:07:27.710] – Hilary Erickson

I had to get my stuff to the other place. That was probably my best one. And who knows? He was also an amazing sleeper from minute one. So, plus his little…

[00:07:37.210] – Dr Fran

I’ve never had that. I will never understand having an amazing sleeper.

[00:07:40.920] – Hilary Erickson

He was nine pounds, and I think maybe that’s why? He was a bigger baby. I don’t know.

[00:07:46.460] – Dr Fran

I don’t know. All my babies just… they’re okay sleepers, they just don’t like sleep long periods of time.

[00:07:52.540] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. I went overdue on all my babies, and there wasn’t an arrived trial. I was just like, We’re just going to keep going. We’re just going to be in pregnant. Part of me wonders if they slept better because I was overdue. I don’t know. My last one was 12 days overdue. I’m not joking around here. Imagine the labor nurses calling me being like, Why are you not getting induced? Or me being like, Well, it’s a higher risk of a C-section at this point.

[00:08:19.510] – Dr Fran

No, with your third baby, girl, you know that.

[00:08:21.980] – Hilary Erickson

So many issues. So many issues. Okay, what other tips do you have for mindset?

[00:08:27.040] – Dr Fran

I think one of the things that was helpful for me was communicating my wishes and desires before the baby came with my family, husband, the children, so that there was a precedent set about what I wanted. I know a lot of people are like, I don’t want anyone in the hospital.

[00:08:44.820] – Dr Fran

So sharing those things with your family ahead of time will save you the angst of it while it’s happening. I was the opposite because I never got that experience living in a different state than my family. I wanted family to visit us in the hospital.

[00:08:59.980] – Dr Fran

So I was able to communicate that ahead of time and that made me happy at that time. Same with our plan about our day-to-day with my husband, our kids going daycare, communicating that ahead of time puts our whole family in that mindset like, This is what’s going to happen, this is what mom needs and that’s what we’re going to do as a family.

[00:09:19.530] – Dr Fran

I think having communicated that at a time was really helpful. I think about postpartum and the emotional, the mental, and the physical states and how you can help yourself in all of those.

[00:09:31.240] – Dr Fran

For me, the physical stuff has been the most beneficial because I was so miserable in pregnancy between my nausea for 39 weeks. I was just very uncomfortable that in the postpartum state, I’ve just been so happy to feel back to normal again and getting out. I am thankful that I always had my children in the warm weather. My baby’s birthdays are April, June, and July. I make it a point to be outside every day.

[00:09:58.900] – Dr Fran

I go on a walk almost every single day because I’m just happy to be walking again and not feeling like dying. It’s just like, I’m happy I’m walking again. I’m outside getting fresh air. I’m in a different space because otherwise, I’m sitting in my bedroom or downstairs a lot of the time. It just puts me in a mindset where I’m focusing on myself. I’m regaining my physical strength back. I’m doing this for the benefit of my body. That has both helped the physical state, but also obviously the mental and emotional state as well.

[00:10:29.900] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. I mean, focusing on the positive, because that’s true of a lot of pregnancy. What is better than it was five weeks ago? You’re not puking your guts out. You can eat whatever the heck you want.

[00:10:39.590] – Dr Fran

Yes. I don’t have to get up to pee every 30 minutes. I can go all night. I don’t have to get up to pee. I have to get up for the baby, but… I find like, yeah, just focusing on the positives. I don’t know if I’m at baseline a super positive person, I have to work on that. But it does… It makes me grateful because…

[00:11:00.190] – Dr Fran

Again, I’m very privileged in this, and I think about this a lot and my privilege in this situation, I did not have a traumatic birth. I did not have a fourth degree. I have a lot of support in my family. Financially, my family is fine. Breastfeeding has come fairly easy to me. My children have care that they go to, and that lets me focus on myself. I have a lot of privilege in those things. I tried to acknowledge it, but trying to keep a positive mindset has helped me in that regards as well.

[00:11:27.500] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. I mean, that helps a lot. I think some people get lost in the fact that there are a lot of things that are a lot better post-baby. But all you focus on is that you don’t have any sleep. That the baby cries a lot.

[00:11:42.450] – Hilary Erickson

Or breastfeeding is not working. Okay. Do you think breastfeeding comes easier because you’re an OB?

[00:11:46.840] – Dr Fran

No, I have no. I did not have any breastfeeding experience, like education prior to having my own children. We were not trained about residency. I saw my patient breastfeeding, but I didn’t know anything about it.

[00:12:00.840] – Dr Fran

It just… Some people it works and some people it doesn’t. It has worked for me. I’m very grateful for that. I’ve educated myself a lot on it on the medicine side, but that hasn’t really done anything for me on my personal breastfeeding. You know what I mean?

[00:12:16.490] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah.

[00:12:16.900] – Dr Fran

I just have been more interested and therefore educated myself. And now I do more of the educating on the topic. But I don’t think being an OB had any difference.

[00:12:25.650] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. I will say it’s so different trying to latch a baby on from where I have both hands and I’m not laying there.

[00:12:32.710] – Hilary Erickson

Versus when you’re in the bed and it’s your boob and you’re at such a weird angle to be able to watch the baby from people are, Oh, breastfeeding must come really easily for you, or latching on, at least, because I don’t get any milk.

[00:12:43.980] – Hilary Erickson

But I’m like, Well, I mean, there are things that I do know to make it easier, but also when the nurse comes in, it’s so much easier for the nurse than it is for the human.

[00:12:53.550] – Dr Fran

Yeah, because you just go in there… In your mouth.

[00:12:56.250] – Hilary Erickson

There you go. Make your sandwich, stick it in.

[00:12:59.180] – Dr Fran

Yeah. Seehold. Let’s go.

[00:13:01.160] – Hilary Erickson

All right. Any more tips for us?

[00:13:02.870] – Dr Fran

I think the biggest one is trying to remain flexible. The mindset of being flexible is going to benefit you. Because if you have it in your mind, at 9:00 AM, I’m going to go on a walk. At 10:00 AM, I’m taking a shower. At 11 o’clock, I’m going to go out for lunch. At 12 o’clock, the baby’s gonna take a nap. None of that’s going to work out. Then you’re going to be upset and you’re going to be anxious that your plan isn’t working, and then you’re going to not do any of it, and that you spiral.

[00:13:29.610] – Dr Fran

Having flexibility on your mindset. If you just have a day to day with your baby and there’s three goals you want to get done, great. Work around the baby’s naps or when you’re feeling up to it, really being rigid about things, I think, sets yourself up for failure in a time that really is about being flexible and learning about each other, learning the baby’s habits, learning how you react. I fall into that too because I get up and I want to go on my walk and then have breakfast. But then if it’s raining and I’m like, Oh, I guess I can’t go on a walk.

[00:13:59.150] – Dr Fran

I’m like, Well, it’s going to stop raining at 11:00. You can go on a walk then. It’s okay. Reminding yourself that in this time where a lot of people aren’t as scheduled as we normally are in our non-postpartum lives, that having some flexibility will benefit you emotionally, physically, mentally. Yes.

[00:14:17.780] – Hilary Erickson

I mean, forever. When you were saying during this time, and I was like, When does that time end? Because we just sent one to college. And then yesterday, we had to be very flexible because he ended up having bed bugs in his apartment. So he’s back home. He’s right by us. So it wasn’t a huge deal. But I feel like I always talk about flexibility in birth. And I’m like, it’s just getting you going because you’re going to have to be so much more flexible than you were without little people forever, apparently forever.

[00:14:45.340] – Dr Fran

Forever. They’re going to college, and you’re still like, Damn, I got to be flexible.

[00:14:49.260] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. Okay. The one tip I thought, I have a friend who has had 10 babies and she says that now she just- 10 babies. Yeah. Now she just knows. I mean, Dr. Fran, I’m Mormon. So, okay.

[00:15:01.290] – Dr Fran

That’s a lot. I just think about myself having 10 babies. I’m like, No. Good for you, girl, not for me. Right. 10 babies. Okay, good. Mormon friends, 10 babies.

[00:15:09.340] – Hilary Erickson

I thought eight was a normal family growing up, so take that for what it is.

[00:15:14.310] – Dr Fran

Are you from Utah?

[00:15:14.990] – Hilary Erickson

I sure am.

[00:15:16.250] – Dr Fran

Okay.

[00:15:17.000] – Hilary Erickson

Yes.

[00:15:18.310] – Dr Fran

That’s a lot of babies.

[00:15:19.530] – Hilary Erickson

But then we moved to the Bay Area and lived there for 10 years, so we normalized a lot there. Anyway, but she said she knows that on night three, four, it’s just going to be horrible.

[00:15:31.170] – Hilary Erickson

She knows to just expect it and move on. I think that helped me because when my husband went back to work or my mom wasn’t able to come over on the first baby, I just burst into tears and I cried for two hours. I can’t do this on my own. By the time the third came, the one thing that I was better at was I’m going to cry when people leave me, and that’s okay. I’m still going to be able to get the kids to school on time. I had a lot of… I don’t know how I’m going to do it in the mornings, trying to get people off. Then the third baby, I was just like, It’s going to happen. I just need to accept it and move on and know that it’s going to get better. Because you get so caught up in like, The baby is never going to sleep again. I am never going to sleep again.

[00:16:10.510] – Hilary Erickson

I’m never going to sleep. How am I going to raise 16-year-olds with no sleep?

[00:16:15.000] – Dr Fran

Why aren’t you sleeping? Why are you awake every two hours?

[00:16:19.250] – Hilary Erickson

Right. It’s so easy to get caught up in like, It’s happened five nights in a row. This is my new forever.

[00:16:25.420] – Dr Fran

Yeah. And then they sleep four hours and you’re like, Never mind. Right. We’re going to be just fine.

[00:16:30.250] – Hilary Erickson

It’s amazing what four hours will do for a person.

[00:16:34.200] – Dr Fran

Yeah. I’ll let you know when that happens. How I’m doing. It hasn’t happened yet. That’s okay.

[00:16:40.280] – Hilary Erickson

It will happen soon, right?

[00:16:42.790] – Dr Fran

Maybe soon.

[00:16:44.190] – Hilary Erickson

Right? I think the other tip would be run your own race because I am a scheduler. And back in the day, Babywise was like the thing. So I did use Babywise in some ways, more like how we use it in the NICU where we feed them and then we put them the same.

[00:16:59.050] – Hilary Erickson

But that is my thing. I like a schedule. When I hear other moms who are like, Well, that’s just not the way to raise a baby. I had to run my own race. I’m just like, I need to be on a schedule. Also, my kid goes to daycare. They put him on it. It’s just nice for all of us to have like, This is what she basically does.

[00:17:17.100] – Dr Fran

Yes, exactly.

[00:17:18.540] – Hilary Erickson

Run your own race, nobody else. Even though somebody else says, Oh, I pick my baby up every time they cry, I can’t believe you’re not doing that. They probably aren’t.

[00:17:27.840] – Dr Fran

Yeah. If you are, good for you. Not for me. That’s what I found out. Good for you, not for me. I’m glad it works for you. Or maybe I tried it and it actually didn’t work for my baby. Between my first and second baby, I was like, Okay, I’m going to really work on the sleeping thing. I read all these books and I did all the things that they said to do, and guess what? My second baby slept exactly like my first baby, even though I did all the things. Just going to whatever happened, try it out. But it may not work for you.

[00:17:55.650] – Hilary Erickson

Or it may not work with that baby. That was the other annoying thing is every baby was different. Also every kid is different. Why is that okay?

[00:18:02.610] – Dr Fran

Why are you individuals? Come on, just be the same.

[00:18:06.210] – Hilary Erickson

Right. I want to set a policy and it is a standard that we follow.

[00:18:09.710] – Dr Fran

Yes. This is how you will be as a person. Thank you.

[00:18:12.800] – Hilary Erickson

That’s why I’m always like, Oh, my gosh, why are they individual? Yeah, that’s annoying to me. Thank you for coming on. I just want you guys to know, when I took my prenatal class, did you ever take a prenatal class, Dr. Fran?

[00:18:26.850] – Dr Fran

No, I did not.

[00:18:28.110] – Hilary Erickson

They were just like, You have baby. And that’s where it ended. And they briefly talked about breastfeeding, and I think they maybe showed us how to diaper, but they never talk about your bottom being sore. They never talked about any postpartum hormones. Now this was 2000, so people were still like, if you have… If you don’t feel happy after you have a baby, something’s wrong with you, right?

[00:18:48.230] – Dr Fran

Oh, God, yeah. Do you feel like nowadays with the social media, the positive of social media is that we talk about all this more? That we have more resources and insights and see other people’s experiences?

[00:19:01.320] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, but then you get on TikTok and people are like, I had no idea. I wasn’t going to sleep this much after I have a baby. I’m just like, well.

[00:19:09.150] – Dr Fran

First off…

[00:19:09.870] – Hilary Erickson

I’m like, take a prenatal class, my friends. But I ended up putting two chapters about postpartum, taking care of your bottom, taking care of your C-section. Because I think so many people get prepared for pregnancy and birth. And birth is really short in the whole scheme of things. The first part is very small. Postpartum lasts forever, apparently, because I’m still working on my pelvic floor over here.

[00:19:32.430] – Dr Fran

You need a referral to a good pelvic floor physical therapist.

[00:19:36.520] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. Just prepare for what it’s going to be. Prepare, have the tucks at home. You’re not like, Oh, crap. I’m out of whatever they gave me in the hospital. Now I did something. Then you forget about yourself and you’re like, Oh, my bottom’s fine. When in reality, you need tucks just as much as you need diapers if you have a tear.

[00:19:55.530] – Dr Fran

It’s true. It’s true. Absolutely. Especially those fourth degrees, man.

[00:19:58.950] – Hilary Erickson

I will say if you had a fourth degree friends, I only had second degrees on the other two, and it was like sunshine and rainbows compared to a fourth degree. I was like, I don’t know what people complain about. This is a dream. All my other tips, take your stool softeners and eat so much fiber. You are full of fiber.

[00:20:14.820] – Dr Fran

Muralax should be every patron’s best friend.

[00:20:18.680] – Hilary Erickson

Do you give patients Miralax in the hospital?

[00:20:20.830] – Dr Fran

I do, yeah. I don’t believe in polys. I believe in Muralax. Oh, yeah. In Muralax, we trust.

[00:20:26.320] – Hilary Erickson

So much more sense. Okay, that’s a good tip for everybody.

[00:20:29.520] – Dr Fran

The second you get pregnant, start your Muralax. You can taper off. Then right before you have a baby, ramp it back up daily, every morning have a glass and then put lots of water.

[00:20:40.850] – Hilary Erickson

Muralax is basically just fiber, right?

[00:20:43.500] – Dr Fran

Muralax is like a very mild laxative. Just pools water into your colon, basically.

[00:20:51.550] – Hilary Erickson

Just flushes that baby out.

[00:20:53.490] – Dr Fran

It’s not even bad. It just makes it a little better to go.

[00:20:56.730] – Hilary Erickson

Whereas, Colase would have cramps and stuff on them sometimes. So that’s a good tip.

[00:21:00.770] – Dr Fran

I find it does nothing. A lot of other doctors like my GI doctors all agree are like, boo, Colase, like Yay, Miralax.

[00:21:08.120] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, our doctors only give Senicots or colase and then Miralax PRN, but they haven’t pushed us to do it at the hospital, so we’ve just been ignoring that.

[00:21:17.210] – Dr Fran

So Miralax is the way to go.

[00:21:19.310] – Hilary Erickson

You can ask for this stuff at the hospital. We have Miralax. I have given it to patients. If your doctor hasn’t prescribed it, say, Hey, could I get a prescription for Miralax? I bet your nurse will write it. Yeah. It might be in the Peter-ads already.

[00:21:33.030] – Dr Fran

Yeah. If you’re pregnant, you can just buy it over the counter at the grocery store. Great tip. That’s friends.

[00:21:39.410] – Hilary Erickson

Poop is so important. Why?

[00:21:41.670] – Dr Fran

So important. In the postpartum pregnant period all the time.

[00:21:45.660] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. Thanks for coming on. If you guys don’t already follow Dr. Fran, follow her on TikTok. Is that mostly where you think you are?

[00:21:52.360] – Dr Fran

Tiktok? Tiktok and Instagram. I’m Paging Dr. Fran on both of them. So both of the avenues get a little different content. You get a lot more personal stuff on Instagram, but yeah, both are very similar.

[00:22:04.050] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. Thank you so much for coming on. I think this is really going to help a lot of moms realize that even the pros—and I’m using quotation marks pros—still struggle with this precarious time. Absolutely.

[00:22:14.840] – Dr Fran

Thank you so much for having me.

[00:22:16.320] – Hilary Erickson

All right. We’ll see you.

[00:22:17.750] – Dr Fran

All right. Bye.

[00:22:18.690] – Hilary Erickson

Okay. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I think that the last settlement is the most important one. I think a lot of people think, Oh, you know how to do this whole postpartum thing because you’re a nurse or you’re a doctor. In reality, no amount of training or experience really can help you.

[00:22:35.900] – Hilary Erickson

A lot of it is life situations, having parents that can help, being off of work, things like that, having the proper mindset. But no one’s really an expert at this. You just go with the flow and do it as you can. Thanks to Dr. Fran for coming on.

[00:22:48.980] – Hilary Erickson

Today’s episode is sponsored by The Postpartum Checklist. I think it is so easy to get lost in all of the baby supplies because there’s a billion of them, and not pay attention to all things that you need for you after baby, so come grab my totally free postpartum organization checklist. You can find it in the show notes or at PregnancyNurse under Resources.

[00:23:09.680] – Hilary Erickson

Okay, guys, this is our last episode of Mindset Month. We will be back at the beginning of the year. We’re going to talk a little bit about how I do New Year’s resolutions, which is a little bit different than how other people do them. We will see you in 2024!

[00:23:22.500] – Hilary Erickson

Thanks for joining us on The Pulling Curls Podcast today. If you like today’s episode, please consider reviewing, sharing, subscribing. It really helps our podcast grow. Thank you.

Keywords:

New Year’s resolutions, unique approach, beginning of the year, review, share, subscribe, podcast, babies, children, policy, standard, social media, postpartum experiences, prenatal class, soreness, hormones, pelvic floor, stool softeners, MiraLAX, fiber, mild laxative, benefits, hospital, over the counter, bowel movements, Pulling Curls podcast, postpartum mindset, Doctor Fran, lack of sleep, going back to work, maternity leave, nurses, positive mindset, husband, daycare, household chores, equal parenting partner, breastfeeding, flexibility, failure, accepting challenges, schedules, sleep patterns, individual baby, anxiety, control, cleaning, budgeting, tear, sleepers, mindset, communication, recovery, positive aspects, no longer being pregnant, freedom, privilege, medical training, OB.

The post The Postpartum Mindset: Navigating New Parenthood with Dr. Fran appeared first on Pulling Curls.

**If you are concerned that breastfeeding really isn’t working — my friend Katie (actual friend) has a course on troubleshooting breastfeeding and the price is right!

First off, let me state CATEGORICALLY, I am a STRONG proponent of breastfeeding. I think it is the A#1 best way to feed your child.  There are so many wonderful things about it.  

I won’t get into all that here (because I have a lot of other awesome breastfeeding posts).  But suffice it to say that I push breastfeeding hard as a labor nurse & prenatal educator.

There are times when breastfeeding isn’t working – it didn’t work myself and my first baby (or any of my other kids).  And I didn’t know it for days.  I had a constantly screaming baby, bleeding nipples, and emotions that could’ve exploded our 2 bedroom apartment.  

I had been told that breastfeeding ALWAYS works — it’s the most natural thing in the world! Sadly, that is a lie we tell a lot of new mothers, sometimes it truly just doesn’t work.

In fact, I just recorded a podcast about it (it’s with Katie that does that troubleshooting class)

Before we get going, who am I and why do I know so much about breastfeeding?

Hi, I’m Hilary — many people know me as The Pregnancy Nurse . I have been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of OB nursing experience, I am also the curly head behind this website Pulling Curls and The Online Prenatal Class for Couples. ​ I’ve helped troubleshoot a LOT of breastfeeding in that timeframe and honestly I’m best at knowing when it is NOT working — so I’m a good resource on this!

Signs That Breastfeeding Isn’t Working

Hilary is a nurse who has worked in various medical fields for the past 26 years, however, none of the information on this blog should be substituted for the care of a physician. The information provided on this blog is informational only and shouldn’t be taken as medical advice. If you have questions, please ask your doctor or a certified lactation consultant. Also, please don’t delay contacting a physician due to something you have read on here. Please read my full terms here.

There are a few basic ways to feel like breastfeeding isn’t working (although it is better/easier to look for signs that it IS working in general — and we will cover that next):

** Keep in mind that understanding milk flow with breastfeeding is HARD so don’t be tough on yourself. You can’t see what baby is eating like you could with a bottle — but these are some serious signs:

1. Baby cries a lot, even after a feeding.
2. Baby isn’t having frequent wet/poopy diapers (we’ll talk about what to watch for in a second)
3. Baby isn’t gaining weight — and that is likely something you would see at a pediatrician’s or a lactation visit.

Pro Tip: It is VERY normal to think you’re not giving your baby milk in the early days, or that they aren’t getting enough. In the vast majority of cases your body works perfectly and you do have a supply for them. Baby nurses make it look so easy in the hospital, and it always seems like it’s falling apart when you get home. Totally normal.

Keep in mind that these things are all important to keep an eye on through the first month as your milk supply is regulating. Good milk supply doesn’t always stay that way — especially until you get into a great breastfeeding groove.

BTW, if you’re reading this article pre-birth just to get an idea of what’s to come and what to watch for — come join me in here!

Signs Breast-Feeding IS Working

One quick tip is that baby needs very little milk in those first few days. Their stomach is the size of a marble when they’re born, and it slowly expands as they get large.

1.  Wet Diapers is a sign breastfeeding IS working

Babies should have 6-8 wet diapers/day.  Newborns should have a wet diaper per day of age up until they’re getting 6-8).  So, on day two — they should have 2 wet diapers.  If they’re not producing that much, you need to think about what is not working.  

There are reasons BESIDES breastfeeding, why this might be — but breastfeeding is something you should consider. Babies poop should also start to change from the black tar to another color (depending on your feeding method — but mustard yellow if you’re nursing).  

These are my favorite newborn diapers, love the line that shows if they pee’d (because you can’t always tell).

2. Engorgement is a sign that you have milk!

On day 2-5 (sometimes longer) you’ll feel your breasts “turn-on” and fill with milk.  If you don’t feel any differences with your breasts, it may not be filling with the milk. Many providers will ask “has your milk come in” — so just be honest with what you are feeling.

I get hot boobs, but I never feel them fill.  I never have them over-fill, they just don’t fill.  Don’t forget some washable breastpads while we talk engorgement!

3.  Milk in their mouth is a sign breastfeeding IS working

If you pull them off, you should see milk in their mouth (once your milk has come in).  Make sure you use your finger to break the latch, don’t just yank them off.  Babies tongues already look a little white, but if you SEE milk, you know you’ve struck gold.  Mind at ease.

Please note, you won’t see this as much before your milk comes in, because colostrum looks fairly clear.

4.  Weight gain is a sign breastfeeding is working

I would guess most pediatricians will come let you do a weight every day to see if they’re gaining.  At Kaiser (where I had my last 2 babies) they do a weight check, let you feed, and weigh again — to see how they’re doing. 

They often do those at in-person lactation consults (not just at Kaiser). It is a downfall of internet-supported lactation consults. You can always go to your pediatrician’s for a weight check though (or buy a baby scale — it’s actually a lot cheaper than I thought it would be!)

This one from Hatch Baby is pretty cool!

Princess P was such a great sucker, and we had a good latch.  I’d latch her on for half an hour and she’d go to town.  I thought for sure she was getting milk and it was GOING TO WORK that time!  She would lose weight instead of gaining — just because she was working so hard to suck with no reward.

5.  Swallowing is a sign breastfeeding is working

This is actually one of the very best, and the easiest ways to tell.  My oldest never swallowed.

You need to have a quiet room to hear this one, but you’ll kind of hear a whispered letter “C” sound when they swallow.  You can also, sometimes — depending on your position — see their Adam’s apple bob when they swallow.  Baby’s mouth should swallow every 3-4 sucks.

If they’re not swallowing, either you’re not noticing it, or something is wrong.

If all of these are overwhelming you and frankly, the whole baby thing is overwhelming you I do have a course called Newborns Made Easy (I realize that title is a lie, but it will make them EASIER) — it goes over these signs to watch for, as well as newborn care and SLEEP in those first few weeks!

When breastfeeding doesn’t work

The thing, with nursing, is that the more you stress out about it, the worse the problem gets.

You’re the cow.  You need to be healthy and happy to produce for your little wonder.  But, the worse it got and the more he cried I just felt like the biggest failure that God ever created.  The simple truth is that sometimes breastfeeding doesn’t work.  It’s a small percentage (although I hear it is on the rise), but it’s true.

I say try, try, try, but if it’s not working, the good news is that there is infant formula.  It isn’t poison, it won’t kill your baby and it may put your mind at ease remembering it’s an option.

The most important thing is truly a healthy, happy mom and baby. That’s it. Long term studies don’t show that breastfeeding actually has that big of a change on a child’s health/well-being (especially when compared with twins who one was breastfed and the other one wasn’t).

Pro tip: Baby having difficulty latching isn’t always a sign that breastfeeding IS or is is NOT working. How baby latches has to do more with their suck, their mouth and your boob — it doesn’t always mean they’re getting milk (and difficulty latching doesn’t mean you don’t have milk — it is a reason to seek help though). My friend Katie also offers virtual consults as well!

Ways to Make Breastfeeding Work

If you do think a lack of milk production is your problem, you will likely need help troubleshooting. There are things they can recommend to increase your supply (fenugreek, nipple shields, different positions, increasing fluids, skin to skin contact) — I even tried Reglan — which made me crazy — so be mindful).  It is certainly worth it to try to build it up.

You can start with any helpful family members, or friends — but you will likely need someone with more experience if it’s really a problem.

With lactation consultants being so available anymore, the best thing is to schedule an appointment with an IBCLC (international board certified lactation consultant).

Reasons you can’t breastfeed

There are LOADS of reasons that breastfeeding may or may not work.  The reality is that you really need to try.  Give the breasts lots of stimulation, even if you think it won’t work.  Reasons I have seen (and there are a lot more than this)

• Previous breast surgery (implants or reductions)
• Hormonal imbalances
• Tubular breasts (you’ll often have less milk ducts, which isn’t really apparent on a visual assessment).
• Stress (more women can’t breastfeeding during war time vs non-war time — in historical studies)
• Lack of stimulation (you’re not doing frequent feedings)
• Baby needs a tongue release or a lip release
• Nipple Issues (often make it a lot more difficult but usually can be worked around if you work hard at it and seek help from a lactation consultant) — really sore nipples are not a good sign. If you’re in severe pain you need to contact someone ASAP.
• You go back to work and pumping just isn’t something you want to do (and frankly, very valid).
• It is driving you crazy… {also valid}

Blood vessels and breast tissue are tricky things!

We do talk about some of the reasons in that podcast I mentioned above.

Why to try a Lactation Consult

I would try a consult with a IBCLC. You will find a LOT of people who say they have credentials to teach you how to breastfeed, but as an RN the IBCLC is truly the gold standards for help you out on a one on one basis. They can check baby’s mouth, talk to you about nipple pain, show you how to express milk, look for any breast infection, and make sure that baby’s needs are being taken care of (while also balancing mom’s needs).

Let me say it one more time — IBCLC’s are the ones trained to troubleshoot. That is different than a lactation educator or a lactation consultant. In the land of breastfeeding education online experience REALLY varies and you want to stick with someone who is super experienced and knowledgeable.

They are really skilled at looking at the mother’s nipples to see if THAT is the problem, and what they can do to fix it. They can also talk to you about your baby’s current weight vs their birth weight. AND they are experts at checking out baby’s mouth to see if that is the issue (including a tongue tie or lip ties and any palate issues).

Most of all they are great at assessing baby’s latch to make sure THAT isn’t the issue. Keep in mind that the latch is just a portion of your breastfeeding scenario (and they are trained to assess the whole thing).

They’re also going to be the most helpful for any medical conditions that are causing an issue. They are truly your breastfeeding expert (keep in mind that most pediatricians are not). Many IBCLC’s are also RN’s (and have a lot of breastfeeding experience across many types of people) and can just have a really good handle on your entire needs.

Breastfeeding Didn’t Work For Me

For my first time, I thought breastfeeding would just work.  I had heard countless times that breastfeeding works for everyone if you work hard enough when I was in nursing school.

So, I just tried and tried.  He screamed and screamed. Our first week together was a real doozy.

I finally noticed a lack of wet diapers and no poop… so I started to get a little nervous.

But, I kept trying… I called lactation.  We were really poor, so having an in-person consult was out of our price range (this is back before insurance even considered paying for it).  We did rent a hospital pump (remember you can get one free).

I THOUGHT I was getting breast engorgement, but I think I just had some hormonal fluctuations (they never got hard or really painful). Breast fullness can be hard to assess (especially if you’ve never felt it before).

In retrospect, I spent a 20-minute call with a woman, spent the majority of it crying — and her advice was to get up every 2 hours at night to pump, and to finger feed so I could prevent nipple confusion (I finger fed so much my finger nails started to hurt).

Keep in mind that when you pump you might not get much milk. It IS stimulating your breasts, but because you don’t love the pump like you love your baby, production is often less.

To a woman who was clearly on the edge (because I was also crying for the majority of the time I wasn’t on the phone with her), she told me to basically stop getting sleep and put every last ounce of myself into a bottle.

**AS an L&D RN of almost 20 years I can tell you that this was 100% the WRONG ADVICE** At no point should someone’s mental well-being come before their low milk supply.

Simply put (and I can say this now that I’ve been an L&D RN for 17 years), Her advice was not the right advice.

At a certain point, you may need to throw in the towel and do what works for you.  Some lactation consultants aren’t very good at remembering that you aren’t a cow, and you have feelings and a brain.

And breastfeeding isn’t worth losing your mind over.

I remember fighting the urge to shake him when he wouldn’t latch right or would just sit there and scream at me.

No mom should be at that point.  I should have popped a bottle in his mouth.  He was starving.  And I 100% believe that fed is best (although I don’t find that page to be particularly breastfeeding-friendly).

Studies do reveal that a mom with good mental health is much more important than breastfeeding. Taking care of YOU is just as important (if not more important) than taking care of them.

Unable to breastfeed guilt

I feel this every. time. On my second child I was sure the second time would be the charm…. that I’d just not tried hard enough time #1.

Somehow, during those 9 months, I somehow think it WILL work this time.  I will get more than just a small amount of breast milk when I pump.  Everything will work out this time.

But, it doesn’t.

And I cry and cry (this post shows that pretty clearly, and I actually wrote it RIGHT after my 3rd baby), it just feeding my postpartum depression.  And then I pop in that formula bottle.

With my last one, I already had two successful readers by the age 3.  It didn’t make a difference, I still felt guilty.

Just recently my formula-fed baby (that I almost starved) scored on the 99th percentile on the ACT, so I guess I still made smart little brains with formula (I can’t tell you how many times I’d burst into tears when I’d see a news story about how much smarter breastfeed babies are than formula babies).

Hang in there new moms.  It’s a tough, long, journey.

Breastfeeding Isn’t Working FAQ’s

Here is my promise to you:  (and I can 100% promise this) that your choice to breast or bottle feed your baby (as long as you FEED your baby) is not the worst parenting choice you’ll make — not by a longshot. 

Just wait til’ they’re teenagers (I want to shake him a lot now too — and yes, he does still scream at me).

The Online Prenatal Class for Couples does come with a breastfeeding class, but if you’ve already had your baby I would recommend having a consult with a local IBCLC, or a virtual consult.

I have a whole post on when to take a breastfeeding class, where I go over those options a bit more thoroughly.

Don’t forget to get my best tips to make sure breastfeeding IS working.

The post Breastfeeding Not Working: Transition from breastmilk to formula? appeared first on Pulling Curls.

Big thanks to our sponsor The Online Prenatal Class for Couples — I have two FULL chapters on postpartum recovery that you don’t want to miss. So much good information that so many classes glaze over.

In this episode

Mesh Underwear

Thinx Period underwear

Other things that might interest you

My post on the best postpartum pajamas

My review of Tushy

Producer: Drew Erickson

Check out my other pregnancy podcasts:

Transcript

[00:00:00.170] – Hilary Erickson

Hey, guys. Welcome back to the Pulling Curls Podcast. Today on episode 198, we are talking about things to have on hand for mom after baby. Let’s untangle it.

[00:00:20.450] – Hilary Erickson

Hi, I’m Hilary Erickson, the curly head behind the Pulling Curls Podcast: Pregnancy and Parenting Untangled. There’s no right answer for every family, but on this show, we hope to give you some ideas to make life simpler at your house. Life’s tangled, just like my hair.

[00:00:40.890] – Hilary Erickson

Okay, so these are just some things for you to have on hand for yourself, because I promise you are going to un-prioritize yourself after a baby. You’re going to think the baby needs all these different things. So having these things on hand for you after baby is so important. You probably have a lot at home or some of them you’re going to get given in the hospital. So I will mention which ones you should purchase and which ones you may be given or already have.

[00:01:05.410] – Hilary Erickson

Do you feel prepared for your delivery? In just three short hours, you can be prepared for the confident, collaborative delivery you want. You’ll know what to expect and how to talk with your healthcare team. And there are no boring lessons in this class. I’ll use humor, stories from my 20 years in the delivery room to engage both of you. I love how Alyssa told me that she found herself laughing at things that used to sound scary. Most of all, you guys are going to be on the same page from bump to bassinet. Join the online prenatal class for couples today. You can save 15% with coupon code UNTANGLED. You can find the link in the show notes.

[00:01:40.830] – Hilary Erickson

So, number one, depends. And I’m not saying it depends on if you need this. I’m saying depends meaning what your grandma might wear if she had some bladder leakage. So this was like not a thing when I had babies, but dang it, I sure wish it would. Because the first few times you get up to the restroom, there’s a lot of blood in there that pools and just kind of gushes out.

[00:01:59.780] – Hilary Erickson

And it’s still that way usually by the time you head home, which means you often get blood on your sheets when you’re trying to get out of bed, because those first few days, you really are going to be in and around your bed most of the time. And the less time I have to change sheets, the better in my world or my husband.

[00:02:18.230] – Hilary Erickson

I mean, I just always felt super embarrassed that there was blood on the sheets and he was going to have to change it, which is odd because I can’t tell you how many bloody sheets I have changed. But either way, those things, you just throw them in the trash. The underwear comes with the pad, less leaks, so handy, throw them in the trash, be done with them.

[00:02:34.590] – Hilary Erickson

And then you’ll notice as you’re getting better and you can just change to like overnight pads, and you can still use the mesh undies that they gave you in the hospital or they sell that type of mesh underwear, although it’s nicer.

[00:02:46.220] – Hilary Erickson

And I’ll put a link in the show notes if you guys are interested in that. Okay, number two is large pads. So you’re wanting like the overnight pads, bulky ones that are going to collect a lot of the blood. Now, I will say that I have looked more into period panties as I have a child who’s using them, and this may be a good option for you as well.

[00:03:04.650] – Hilary Erickson

If you’ve worn period panties before, hopefully you already have a brand that you enjoy. There are two different kinds, though, of period panties. There are ones that you’re supposed to wear a pad with and it’s supposed to just protect against leaks. And then there are ones that are supposed to hold every ounce of period fluid that you have. So those ones that are supposed to be with a pad I do find leak quite a bit.

[00:03:24.750] – Hilary Erickson

And they are the ones that are cheaper on Amazon versus the ones that are supposed to hold every ounce of fluid. I have had moms who said that they loved using them after they had a baby, but honestly, if you’re still in that first week, I would still wear a pad.

[00:03:36.760] – Hilary Erickson

Even with those super protective ones, they’re kind of expensive and I don’t see them in large packs, so that’s kind of the annoying thing about them. But I would still encourage you to wear a pad with them because you are going to be also applying tucks and those different kinds of things and we’re going to talk more about those. But I would still wear a pad with them personally, but they are a great option.

[00:03:57.240] – Hilary Erickson

Okay, we are on number three. So then you’re going to want smaller pads because just like a regular period, your postpartum bleeding is going to slowly taper off. Side note, if your postpartum bleeding all of a sudden jumps back up and you’re bleeding a lot more, that is Mother’s Nature’s sign of telling you that you are doing too much. So that means you need to do less. I can’t tell you how many people have called me saying, Hilary, all I did was do a Costco run and all of a sudden I’m totally bleeding.

[00:04:20.490] – Hilary Erickson

That is not part of your postpartum journey. A Costco run where you are picking anything up or walking long distances should be handled by somebody else. So, yeah, if your bleeding increases, it’s a sign to stop moving so much. As a reminder, you will not be using tampons or cups for any of your postpartum flow because you don’t need anything in your vagina. You don’t want this bleeding to stay in your vagina because you would increase your chance of positively having an infection.

[00:04:48.630] – Hilary Erickson

All those different kinds of things. There is nothing going in your vagina or six weeks after you have a baby. So just a reminder that that also includes tampons and cups. Okay, number four was actually period underwear, which I’ve already discussed, but I do think that it is a good option. There’s the Thinx brand which is meant to collect everything.

[00:05:06.630] – Hilary Erickson

So if when you look on the period panties it will tell you how many cups or tablespoons or whatever it’s supposed to collect. Side note, they also have period swimsuits, which is apparently kind of a new thing. You should again not be going in the pool after you’ve had a baby. But it’s kind of interesting. Anyway, period underwear could be really helpful after you have a baby, you are going to have to wash it.

[00:05:29.320] – Hilary Erickson

So that is one reason why I like Depends. You can just chuck all of it and there’s no responsibility to you afterwards. So some of those panties, they’re not supposed to dry, so then you kind of have to hang them up and that can be awkward. So something to think about with period panties.

[00:05:42.820] – Hilary Erickson

But I honestly think I would have bought some just because I hated leaking so much and every once in a while I would still get kind of a gush of blood because wasn’t as protective of my body as I should have been. Okay. Number five is Tucks. That’s the brand name but they are just witch hazel pads. They will give you some in the hospital but I don’t think it’s ever a bad idea to have a small container of them at home.

[00:06:02.800] – Hilary Erickson

Also, bonus tip, I liked to keep my Tux in the fridge. I had a sister in law who told me about this one. I had a really large tear with my first baby and those tucks in the fridge felt so good against my bottom when I would put them on. I know a lot of people love those pad sickles. But lately on TikTok I’ve seen some people say they really didn’t like how they felt because as it melts you’ve got this kind of gushy diaper type feeling in your lady bits that they didn’t like the feeling of and especially if you have other kids like trying to change that at the opportune moment can get difficult.

[00:06:34.340] – Hilary Erickson

Something I have seen is people using newborn diapers to make kind of a padsicle. Or you would put the diaper into your mesh undies and then put the padsicle on top of it so that the diaper would collect it. That could be a good option as well. But the idea behind Tux is that the witch hazel helps with inflammation and it really just does feel so good, especially when it’s cold against your bottom. You wouldn’t want to put them in the freezer because then the Tux pads would all flurries together so that’s why you want to put them in the fridge.

[00:07:00.120] – Hilary Erickson

It’s just kind of annoying to go grab them every time you have to pee. Although my husband got really good at about I would just scream, can you bring me the tux? And then he would bring them to me. So that’s just a great way partners can help out. Okay, another thing to have on hand after the baby is born, and this is something that you could tell friends or family who want to help out, is to have easy fruits and vegetables on hand, because trying to decide what to have for dinner or lunch or breakfast was just too hard for me.

[00:07:24.820] – Hilary Erickson

I would just revert to things that probably weren’t that great for me. Chips. When my mom brought over a tray of fruit, it was so nice because I was hungry a lot. It keeps me hydrated. It’s great fiber because that first poop is going to be a doozy.

[00:07:38.330] – Hilary Erickson

And it just was such an easy way to get those things in when I had literally no coping skills to cut up fruits or vegetables on my own in the beginning. So that’s a good thing to have on hand, and it’s a great one when people ask what they could do to help out, say, hey, would you mind bringing a fruit or a veggie tray over? That would be super helpful. I would just like to eat a little bit better and have that on hand, and I know people would love to bring that, especially because you could just buy it at the grocery store if you were really busy. Okay, number seven, you’re going to want a nice big water cup.

[00:08:06.480] – Hilary Erickson

Now, a lot of hospitals provide you with a water cup before you go home. Those are super coveted, although I don’t find that they hold the ice as long as I wish they did. But you’re going to be wanting to drink lots of water to keep up your breastfeeding. And even if you’re not breastfeeding, you really do want to just really hydrate yourself because your body is just cycling through all those hormones. You’re going to have those night sweats.

[00:08:26.840] – Hilary Erickson

You’re really just trying to kind of recycle all the things in your body. So make sure that you’re drinking lots of water, breastfeeding or not. And sometimes a fun water cup can help with that. Although if you know your hospital is going to provide you one, I wouldn’t buy one because those hospital ones are pretty great, too. Okay, number eight is a helper.

[00:08:42.090] – Hilary Erickson

Now, this can be your partner, but if your partner is going back to work, it could be your mom, it could just be a friend, and your helper is going to look however the helper can make it look. So my mom could come for like a week, and I figured out when that week would be best for me. You might not have a mom that can come or a mom that you want to come, which is A-OK.

[00:09:00.430] – Hilary Erickson

But I think it is so good to have someone come in to provide whatever they’re going to provide. I’ve seen a lot of people complaining on TikTok about what their helper provided, and you kind of have to take them at whatever they’re going to offer. Hopefully you have a helper that wants to provide you whatever you need. If that is cleaning your bathtub or folding laundry or watching the baby.

[00:09:19.560] – Hilary Erickson

It all just depends on what they are willing to do. Now, if your helper wants to come and be entertained, that probably isn’t a helper, but a lot of people will come, and they’ll do whatever they’re best at. Cleaning. Even if it’s holding the baby, then go rest.

[00:09:32.880] – Hilary Erickson

At least you have that anxiety taken care of. That the baby’s okay. You can at least rest and get some time in on your own, shower. I know a lot of people are like, don’t come and just hold my baby, help me out. But if that’s all they’re going to do, take them up on it and try and get some time in for yourself as well.

[00:09:47.920] – Hilary Erickson

So having a helper on hand is super handy after you have a baby. Okay, number nine is ibuprofen. So after you have a baby, you’re going to have cramps just like you would on your period. They are going to suck just like they have when you’re on your period, but they are going to be more painful. And if you’ve already had a baby, your subsequent baby cramps just get worse on every baby, which is just magical because you have so much extra time when you already have two other little people hanging around to wish you could have gotten your epidural after you had the baby, because the cramps are killing you.

[00:10:18.140] – Hilary Erickson

One thing that’s super important to know with ibuprofen is that you need to take it with food, especially when you’re taking it really frequently, as you are when you have these cramps. That is something that I ignored on my third baby, and it has come back to haunt me because you can give yourself an ulcer. I basically, I think, gave myself, like, a bleeding ulcer because I was taking it so much, just wishing it would take away those cramps, and it wasn’t good. So make sure that you’re eating a little something with it. Now, this doesn’t have to be a full meal now.

[00:10:45.150] – Hilary Erickson

I just eat, like, five cashews when I take an ibuprofen, and that really helps to take care of it. A slice of bread, some of that fruit or vegetables is a great option just to make sure that it’s not irritating your stomach lining and could cause problems later on. So ibuprofen is important to have on hand. Your doctor may write a prescription for ibuprofen, 600 milligrams, but that’s just three of the regular ibuprofens. So if you already have it on hand, you could detour and not have to go to the pharmacy to go get that.

[00:11:13.420] – Hilary Erickson

Although some people like to do that because they’d rather take just one big pill than three small pills. So that’s totally up to you. But for me, I would rather just have the giant bottle of ibuprofen that I bought at Costco and just use that rather than to go get the prescription that my doctor wrote for ibuprofen at the pharmacy. Okay. And then finally, comfortable pajamas, you are going to be at home most of the time for those first few weeks after you have the baby.

[00:11:37.700] – Hilary Erickson

Probably months, possibly after you have the baby. And comfortable pajamas are a huge win. And ones that you feel like you can greet that helper in without feeling super Schluppy, is another win. Now, I have to tell you that I tried to get back into jeans with baby number one, and my stomach would allow it, but my lady bits were screaming by the time I got over to my friend’s house. So it’s really important that you allow that area of your body to have all the room that it needs.

[00:12:05.770] – Hilary Erickson

So just be fine with the pajamas and get some fun ones that you feel comfortable in. They can be ones with pants. I would encourage you to have stretchy, very breathable pants, which are easy to clean, because as we talked about with those first few ones, there’s a good chance you’re going to leak on them. Or there’s lots of really cool breastfeeding gowns out there that are kind of like hospital gowns, but cooler, that are nice and breathable and would be a great option. And then you wouldn’t have to worry about your lady bits.

[00:12:31.860] – Hilary Erickson

This is especially important if you had a C section, because you are not going to want anything putting pressure on your C section scar. So if you’re possibly looking at a C section, which everyone who’s going in to have a baby is possibly looking at a C section, your C section scar is right where your belly normally folds. We call it a bikini line scar, so it is a little bit lower. So if you have pajama pants that come up to your belly button, you should be fine. That shouldn’t be bothersome to your C section scar at all.

[00:12:58.090] – Hilary Erickson

But I know a lot of people like to wear the dresses after a C section because there’s just no chance of it bothering that area, and I can totally see why. I don’t want that. Okay, so those are ten things to have on hand after you have a baby. I have to tell you that I just watched the postpartum video of the online prenatal class for couples. The last video. And I can’t tell you how great it is, you guys, I say in there that parts of it my nurse cap is off and my mom cap is on.

[00:13:25.920] – Hilary Erickson

Because I’m really honest about what you’re going to experience when you get home. And it’s something that I wish people had been more honest with me about and so I would really encourage you guys to come join me in there. That chapter is included with any of the online prenatal class for couples and I think you guys are really going to enjoy it. I hope you guys found this list of ten things super helpful. And oh, I have a bonus one that I didn’t mention, but I wish that I had had a bidet on hand after I had a baby.

[00:13:52.350] – Hilary Erickson

So they will give you a little squirt bottle that you can fill up with the water of your choice. Some people like it warm, some people like it cold, and you can spray that on your stitches or any tears that you have and it just feels magical. But I, again, with my first baby tore a whole lot and I would just sit there and refill it and refill it. And my sink, by the way, was not by my toilet, so that was a big fat pain. But it felt so good to have the cold water just on my stitches and I wish that I had had a bidet back then.

[00:14:18.900] – Hilary Erickson

There are a lot of high priced bidets. I have been sent a tushy. I have a review on my website. I’ll try and link that here. But we also got one for another one of our toilets in our home, just at Home Depot.

[00:14:30.690] – Hilary Erickson

I want to say it was around the $30 mark. They are not hard to install and I really like how that one actually has a lower flow. You don’t want it pushing hard on that area, obviously, but it just would have been really nice to just sit there with a cold water flowing on that. I think it would have felt really nice. I’m just saying a bidet would have been handy, but they will give you that squirt bottle.

[00:14:51.140] – Hilary Erickson

I personally don’t believe that you need the Alfreda one at the hospital, but I have heard a lot of people who really enjoyed that one and felt like it was worth the $15 or whatever that you pay for that. It has kind of like an angled head up to you. Most people find that the squirt bottle works just fine. So those are the ten plus a bonus things to have on hand after you have a baby or mom.

[00:15:11.200] – Hilary Erickson

Okay, stay tuned. We have communication with kids coming up next week. The last episode will be on pain and childbirth and we’re going to talk about some of your fears associated with that. So stay tuned.

[00:15:21.590] – Hilary Erickson

Thanks so much for joining us on today’s episode. The Pulling Curls Podcast grows when you share us on social media or leave a review. If you do, please tag us so that we can share and send you a virtual hug, which frankly is my favorite kind of hugging. Until next time, we hope you have a tangle free day.

The post 10 Things to Have on Hand After Baby is Born for MOM – Episode 198 appeared first on Pulling Curls.

Hi, I’m Hilary — I’ve been a nurse since 1997 starting out with pediatrics, and I have 20 years of labor and delivery experience which has allowed me to see a LOT of tongue-tied babies and see first hand how it can affect breastfeeding.  I’m excited to talk to you about something that a lot of parents don’t know about that can really affect your baby’s ability to feed even early on.

Also, this post is sponsored by Palm Valley Pediatric Dentistry and Orthodontics – Scottsdale, if you are looking for Pediatric Dentistry in Scottsdale AZ check them out!  I’m grateful that they’re so willing to sponsor an informational post about how parents can help their babies feed better.  Big thanks to them!

What is Tongue Tie and Lip Tie?

Tongue tie, also known as ankyloglossia, is a condition where there is a tight band of tissue connecting the underside of the tongue to the floor of the mouth (called the lingual frenulum). This can restrict the movement of the tongue, causing difficulty with activities such as breastfeeding, eating, and speaking.

Similarly, lip tie is a condition where the frenulum, the tissue that attaches the upper lip to the gum, is too thick or tight, limiting the movement of the lip.

Tongue and lip ties are common in infants and children, and can lead to frustration for both the child and caregiver. Fortunately, there is a simple laser surgery procedure that can easily correct both tongue and lip ties. By releasing the tight band of tissue, the movement of the tongue or lip is improved, resulting in easier breastfeeding and improved oral health. Seeking medical attention for tongue or lip ties can greatly improve the quality of life for both infants and caregivers alike. 

Note: Everyone has these tissues that connect our lips and tongues to our mouth, but sometimes babies are born with them too tight or restrictive that can affect their mouth movements, and most especially breastfeeding problems.

Lip or tongue tie release has actually come a long way since I’ve been a nurse, so I’m excited to share with you some more recent developments in this arena.

Here some photos of the tongue and lip tie:

Photos courtesy of Palm Valley Pediatric Dentistry & Orthodontics in Scottsdale

(as someone who had their tongue tie clipped as a teenager, I mostly remember a lot of blood, so how little blood is in the area is amazing for me!)

Symptoms of a Tongue Tie

A trained practitioner can check movement of the lips and tongue to see if it is an issue, but there are other symptoms we watch for as well, including:

• Difficulty latching at the breast
• Poor weight gain (not getting enough milk)
• Excessive drooling
• Difficulty breathing while at the breast

If you think that tongue tie might be an issue, contact your lactation consultant, pediatrician or pediatric dentist for a consultation.

How Can a Tongue-Tie or Lip-Tie Affect My Child?

In infants, both lip and tongue ties can have a significant issue with breast or bottle feeding. These conditions can make it difficult for the infant to achieve a proper latch or to use their mouth to get milk, causing nipple pain and making feeding a frustrating experience for both the infant and the mother.

For lip tie as you can imagine if you are supposed to flange your lips to massage the breast to get milk (as that’s how breastfeeding works) if you can pull that top lip high enough it can affect how much milk you can get.

For tongue tie the tip of the tongue often can’t extend far enough out of the mouth to get enough milk from the breast.  This can actually also cause issues with bottle feeding if it is bad enough.

In both of these instances babies may make other movements that can hurt the breast in an effort to get fed, or they may just not get enough milk because of how their mouth is able to move.

How common is tongue-tie?

The prevalence of tongue-tie is not clearly established due to varying definitions and diagnostic criteria across studies. However, it is estimated that up to 10% of newborns are born with tongue-tie, with a higher incidence in males. 

Who diagnoses a tongue-tie?

Symptoms of tongue-tie include difficulty achieving a comfortable and effective latch, nipple pain, and a decrease in milk supply. There are various professionals who can diagnose tongue-tie, including a pediatrician, lactation consultant, or a pediatric dentist. Of these professionals, a lactation consultant (IBCLC) is typically the most experienced and knowledgeable about lactation and breastfeeding, and may be the first point of contact for parents struggling with breastfeeding.

Dentists, both general and pediatric, can also diagnose tongue-tie as they specialize in the oral cavity and its structures. Both lip-ties and tongue-ties can contribute to breastfeeding issues, but a lactation consultant or pediatrician may refer parents to a dentist for diagnosis and treatment. Early diagnosis and treatment of a tongue-tie is crucial for the health and success of breastfeeding for both the infant and the mother. 

How is tongue-tie treated?

Here’s where the big tech benefits are coming in to save us parents!  Back in the day they used to just cut it with scissors, which — as you can imagine — leads to a lot of bleeding, and possibly not healing right.

Now, the most advanced tongue and lip tie repair centers use a CO2 laser.  It is super fast, quick and heals great as you saw in the pictures above!  Be sure to find a center near you that offers that!  If you’re in the Phoenix area check out Palm Valley Pediatric Dentistry and Orthodontics!

What is a Tongue/ Lip Tie Release or Frenectomy?

It really is just as it sounds.  They just clip a bit of the problematic tie (so the one holding your lips to your gums or the one holding your tongue to the bottom of your mouth) to free it up and allow more movement.

This procedure is called a Frenectomy here, but most people just call it a “release” as it allows the tongue and lips to move freely.

What are the post-procedure protocols after lip tie surgery?

Your provider is going to tell you signs and symptoms to watch for in your child. They are also going to give you some exercises to do with your baby so that it heals correctly.  There is a chance that the tongue-tie will re-attach (although less so with the CO2 laser) — which would be super annoying.  So, those exercises help keep full movement in the tongue or lip (or both).

Schedule an Appointment

This really isn’t something you want to wait for, you’ll want to schedule an appointment ASAP.  If you’re in the Phoenix area you can do that right here.

That will take you right to the Palm Valley Pediatric Dentistry & Orthodontics web page.  They are using cutting-edge (pun intended) tools to give your baby the quickest, easiest and tongue tie release available.  One of my FAVORITE things about their office is that they have an in-house lactation consultant in some of their offices. I think it would be fantastic to have that type of support!

Why use a dentist vs a pediatrician for a tongue tie or lip tie release?

This is a great question, and one that I 100% had as well.  I mean, if you’re already at the pediatrician’s, why not just use them.  Well, the thing is pediatricians really don’t do much with the mouth.  Honestly, if there is much beyond very simple issues a pediatrician will refer you to someone else because they truly just know the very basics.

Versus a dentist who does surgery in the mouth all day.  They’re used to cutting, moving, adjusting things IN the mouth.  That’s ALL their training.  Studies are really showing that the best care (ESPECIALLY in healing and follow-up to make sure it doesn’t re-attach) is with a dentist, not a pediatrician.  You really need a thorough examination to determine if the release is necessary, and a dentist is your best practitioner to do that for you.

In the Phoenix area that is best found with the tongue and lip tie release specialists at Palm Valley Pediatric Dentistry.  You know they really have these newborns at heart when they make room in their office for a lactation consultant (the only place in the valley that has that).  I love that.

Can a Tongue Tie Affect My Child as they Grow Up?

While most people agree that if the tongue or lip tie isn’t severe enough to indicate cutting it now, you don’t want to cut it “just in case” there are ways that a tie can affect your child as they grow older.

In addition to these immediate feeding issues, tongue-tie can also lead to gum recession and other dental problems down the road. If left untreated, a tongue-tie can also affect speech development. Identifying and addressing a tongue-tie or lip-tie early can lead to a more comfortable and successful breastfeeding experience, and may prevent future dental and speech problems.

Why else would my baby need to see a dentist?

The newest recommendations are that baby see a dentist around their first birthday (or 6 months after their first tooth if they’re an especially late-teether).  At this point in time they can help make sure those teeth are healthy, assess any gum issues and make the dentist a fun experience for baby.

As a mom who has done both, taking a little one to a pediatric dental office is a GAME CHANGER vs many regular dentists, so I’d definitely recommend finding a pediatric one in your area.

Tongue Tie Faq’s

Is tongue tie genetic?

It may be some genetics, but I do know parents who had one baby with tongue tie, and others who had full range of motion, so it really varies.  You just have to check with each child to see if it’s an issue.

Does tongue tie affect speech?

It can cause issues with speech.  However, as I’ve said before you don’t want to cut a tongue tie that is doing alright now, in anticipation of what it could be down the road.  So, just treat what you have going on now.

What to expect after tongue tie release?

In infants, the hope is that the baby will be able to feed better right away.  The latch should be easier/better and baby should not struggle to eat.

However, as breastfeeding can sometimes be problematic due to a variety of issues you can’t always count on the tongue tie release to solve ALL your problems.   Some people may still struggle even after the lip tie (although now you know that isn’t your problem and can work on other things).

Disadvantages of clipping tongue tie?

The main one is the possibility of bleeding or infection, as well as any pain the patient will experience.  That’s why you only want to clip a tongue tie if an experienced provider thinks it is necessary.

Tongue tie surgery cost

Palm Valley Pediatric Dentistry charges $500 for the consult and both procedures (so, if she decides your baby does not need to released, you’d still need to pay the $100 consult fee, fyi).

It looks like the average price is around $700 for each procedure, but that is going to vary wildly between practices and locations — so you can always call your provider to see if they can offer you a cash pay price, or your insurance to see if you can submit the bill for reimbursement.

Lip tie problems later in life

If the problem isn’t fixed when the baby is young there can be problems later on.  Tongue tie release can be performed later in life, so talk with your dentist if you think you or your older child has an issue.

—————————–

As you can tell, it is pretty simple to fix, but can be a BIG issue for babies in regards to feeding and possibly even later development, so being assessed by a trained professional can help you know if your baby has this issue.  If you are in the Phoenix area please do check out Palm Valley Pediatric Dentistry & Orthodontics.  They have three offices to serve you (and one opening soon in Chandler).  They can help you solve this problem quickly and efficiently.

The post Baby Lip & Tongue Tie Release: Arizona’s Best Treatment appeared first on Pulling Curls.

Big thanks to our sponsor The Online Prenatal Class for Couples

In this episode

Perineal stretching

Things you can do to help your body heal

Products that can help you manage it better.

Help you can get to heal better.

Producer: Drew Erickson

Check out my other pregnancy podcasts:

Transcript

[00:00:00.160] – Hilary Erickson

Hey, guys. Welcome back to the Pulling Curls Podcast. Today on Episode 191, we are talking about tearing a delivery. Let’s untangle it.

[00:00:21.270] – Hilary Erickson

Hi, I’m Hilary Erickson, the curly head behind the Pulling Curls Podcast: pregnancy and parenting untangled. There’s no right answer for every family, but on this show, we hope to give you some ideas to make life simpler at your house. Life’s tangled just like my hair.

[00:00:42.320] – Hilary Erickson

Hi, I’m Hilary, and I had a fourth degree tear, which means you tear from where the baby exits to almost your butt hole. And I live to tell the tales. So today I want to talk a little bit more about tearing it delivery. I wanted it to be a solo episode because I think I have a lot to offer in this area because I think a lot of people imagine that they have no idea how you come back from that. I have some good tips for you guys. So first of all, I did a deep dive on perineal stretching. We had Ashley on talking about how to take care of your bottom after delivery, and she talked that she had done perineal stretching a lot. I was like, I should look a little bit more into those studies because I’ve heard it’s a little bit equivalent as to if it helps or doesn’t help. First off, perineal stretching does not help if it is your second baby. If you’ve already had a baby that has stretched out your lady bits, then you can take a breather from perineal stretching for subsequent babies. It only helps on your first baby.

[00:01:34.120] – Hilary Erickson

It shows that it does decrease episiotomy’s, and I’m not 100 % sure why that is true. That was an interesting fact for me. And it decreases the larger tears. It doesn’t look like it really decreases the first and second degree tears. We’re talking more about third and fourth degree tears. So if you’re thinking about that area, first and second degree is just a small tear. Whereas when you get into third and fourth degree, it’s a larger tear, more difficult to heal from and all those different kinds of things.

[00:02:02.860] – Hilary Erickson

Do you feel prepared for your delivery? In just three short hours, you can be prepared for the confident, collaborative delivery you want. You’ll know what to expect and how to talk with your health care team. And there are no boring lessons in this class. I’ll use humor stories from my 20 years in the delivery room to engage both of you. I love how Alyssa told me that she found herself laughing at things that used to sound scary. Most of all, you guys are going to be on the same page from bump to bassinet. Join the online prenatal class for couples today. You can save 15 % with coupon code UNTANGLED. You can find the link in the show notes.

[00:02:38.290] – Hilary Erickson

Episiotomies, though, in general, either happen because your provider loves to do a PCOT of me, which is pretty rare anymore, I think, fingers crossed, or your baby is in distress and they need to get them out quickly. So I’m not exactly sure how perineal stretching helps both of those. That’s something I’m going to have to think about more. But not getting cut sounds like a win to me. The thing I think about these studies is they show people how to do the perineal stretching. And if that’s something you want to do, I don’t have a post on my website, but there are ways to find out how to do perineal stretching. You’re basically just using your thumb at the bottom of your birth canal and pushing down to stretch that area out. So people would be shown how to do that, but they’re doing it on their own. And if there’s anything I’ve learned as a nurse is that everybody does things differently, even after we teach them how to do it. So they’re not going to Joan, who is doing their perineal stretching. Joan, the Nurse Practitioner, I was going to say, but they’re doing it on their own.

[00:03:32.310] – Hilary Erickson

So I think how people probably did the perineal stretching would be hard to assess in the study just because it’s so private and weird. So interesting. If you are on your first baby, though, I would recommend checking out how to do it. I should also write a post about it. If I have written a post about it before this thing comes out, I will link it below or I’ll put it in the show notes. So I wanted to share five things that I learned from my fourth degree tail. So probably some of you are wondering why on Earth did you have a fourth degree tear? My first baby, his heart rate started going down really bad every time that I pushed. I think it’s because the cord was wrapped around his neck, although who the heck knows? And so an older experienced doctor, he may have delivered me, came in the room. He used forceps and just ripped that baby out. Honestly, I thought he was going to pull me off the stirrups and throw me across the room. He was pulling so hard on those forceps. But anyway, the kid came out. He’s gone through college, so I guess it worked out all right.

[00:04:27.210] – Hilary Erickson

But it did leave me with a huge tear that was rough to recover from. I want to tell you five tips for how I recovered from that or wish I would have recovered better from that. So the first time is that bathroom time it was important and I should not speed it up because a lot of times I would be asleep, I’m taking a nap, baby wakes up, but I have to pee, which means I have to change my pad. I need to spray myself off, do all those things. I would just halfway do those things. And I should have more fully taken the time to heal my perineum rather than just running into his room, getting him up, feeding him a bottle. I should have taken the time to make sure that I did my perineal care. It was probably only one minute extra before I went in his room. Yes, it sounds like a horrible mom who would let their baby sit in their room and cry, but it’s just something that I wish I would have made a little bit more important. Keep in mind, my husband got two days of paternal leave or whatever, and that was pretty much while I was in the hospital.

[00:05:24.750] – Hilary Erickson

He may have even gone to work while I was in the hospital. I only, by the way, took five weeks off after he was born. We didn’t have very much money. I worked at a nursing home. My husband worked at a machine shop. We were barely making ends meet. So I needed to go back to work. I went back and I would work sixes or twelves on Saturdays because we wouldn’t have to use daycare. Just how we always done it. Make bathroom time a priority. If somebody else can get up with baby and get their diaper changed before you go in to feed them or whatever, do it. Second thing is I would leak urine every time I stood up in the hospital. And if that is you, I want to tell you that it got better. My bladder was just not happy with all of the changes. And I feel like that may have happened on other babies as well. Although it wasn’t quite as startling because I’d already had a baby and I knew it. So if you leak a little bit of urine after you have your baby, like when you stand up, it’s not unusual.

[00:06:14.680] – Hilary Erickson

That is going to get better. Keep trying to train your pelvic floor. We’re going to talk more about that. Okay, number three is I wish I’d had an epidural for my first poop. I took the stool softeners religiously. I knew how important they were. I tried to eat a lot of fruit. I tried to drink a lot of water, but at the same time, because I tore so much, I was also trying to take painkillers, which, by the way, I don’t think they really helped, because when you’re sitting directly on your incision, every time you sit down to lay on your bed or whatever, it’s just miserable. I wish I hadn’t taken as many painkillers. I wish that I had probably started something in addition to soften my stools, besides just the stool softener that they gave me, probably a Ducosate sodium. Probably wish that I had tried a Metamucil or some fiber additive in addition to that. I probably don’t think that I pooped until about a week after I had that baby. I wanted to die, that’s all. Because you got to think, my stitches went right up to my poop hole. So pooping, it was just miserable.

[00:07:14.820] – Hilary Erickson

So if you haven’t pooped in the hospital, you don’t poop when you get home, add some Metamucil, just increase that water dramatically. Add as many dried fruits, as much fiber as you can get in your diet as humanly possible to try and make that soft so that when you do poop, you don’t want to die. The fourth thing that I learned was that cold felt really nice. One of my sister in laws recommended to put the tucks in the fridge, so I would grab my tucks out of my fridge, bring it in, and it felt so good to put those on my perineum. Now, a lot of times people will do pad sickles. And interestingly enough, I saw on TikTok, one of the doctors there said they don’t like padsicles because it gets a little cold and slimy, which I would agree with. So if you pad sickles, if you don’t know what they are, is people put like aloe and witch Hazel. They put it on like a menstrual pad and then they stick that in the freezer and then they put that in their underwear. It’s supposed to also catch your bleeding, plus the pad soaks up those extra fluids.

[00:08:08.880] – Hilary Erickson

But she was saying that that gets slimy. So what I was thinking is maybe you try a panty liner and put some of those things just on the panty liner, and then that goes just on top of a giant menstrual pad or your depends, which is what I recommend when you go home is a urinary incontinence diaper for the first few days at home because that way you don’t leak as much because you are going to bleed more probably than you’re imagining right now. Anyway, cold is nice. So I put my tucks in the fridge. That’s level one. If you want to make a that’s level two. But I would recommend, I like the idea of having a smaller pad that you put on your bigger pad, maybe because cold does feel so good on that area. I would use the peri wash bottle. I would put cold water in that, and when I would run out of water in that, I would be so sad. So I actually have a bidet now and I wish I had it back then. You just want to make sure that the bidet has a very small setting.

[00:08:56.120] – Hilary Erickson

A lot of them spray hard because it’s there to clean you off. But I would have sat on my toilet 24 hours a day, probably if I had had a bidet back in the day. I have a Tushy, but I also have one from the Home Depot, and I think I prefer the Home Depot one better. Don’t tell Tushy. But because it has that slower flow for after baby. They honestly are like 30 bucks. They are not that hard to install. All the directions are in there. If you own your own home and you’re having your baby, I think it’s a great idea. Honestly, if you don’t own your own home, it’s easy to install and take out before you leave your rental. Okay, number five is that it is recoverable. First, I think a lot of people just imagine the idea of tearing just horrific, and it is not fun, I agree. But it is a recoverable caveat. I wish I’d gotten actual good physical therapy after my first son. Now, he was born in 2000. Absolutely no one was doing pelvic floor physical therapy back then. So it’s not like I just got ignored.

[00:09:47.210] – Hilary Erickson

It just wasn’t even a thing back then. So I was trying to do kegels. I was trying to do… I would read articles. I talked to my doctor about it briefly. He was not the greatest doctor probably, and I just tried my best. On my third baby, I had a lot of… My pelvis had separated. I had a lot of tailbone pain. I went to a pelvic floor physical therapy. The therapist, it was absolutely horrible. I couldn’t understand her very well. She was Asian. And honestly, thinking back to the things that she told me then versus what I know now, she was probably off base, not as well trained as they are now. That child is 14. So that again was a while ago. So find a pelvic floor physical therapist that you really mesh with. If you’re going to one and things just seem weird and you don’t like it, find a different one. I was with Kaiser, so she was pretty much the one that I could see. But getting good pelvic floor physical therapy, I think, is so important. I would recommend it if you have a second or third, fourth degree tear, or you feel like anything is off, talk with your provider, ask them for a physical therapy consult so you can see somebody after the baby.

[00:10:49.990] – Hilary Erickson

Just three or four visits. I really think that they could really help you avoid a lot of the problems that your mom or people my age have because you can retrain your body really quickly. And honestly, for me, because my pelvis separated, it didn’t separate on the first baby, it separated on my second baby who was a lot larger. I think I healed my pelvis in a wonky way. And just until recently have I been able to fix that through some mobility training. But that pelvis healing in a weird way caused a lot of plantar fasciitis, tailbone pain. A lot of my lower body pains came from that pelvis just not healing correctly because I wasn’t doing the right things to help those muscles support my pelvis in a way that was positive. So if you’ve already had a baby and you’re looking for ways to heal, I would encourage you, I just look at mobility training. I just type that into YouTube in the morning, try some easy ones at the beginning, and then get a little bit harder. It’s really helped me out. What I want you to learn from this episode on tearing it delivery is if you’re on your first baby, I would encourage you to do perineal stretching, talk with your provider if you have any questions about it.

[00:11:56.490] – Hilary Erickson

It may not be for you. If you have a history of preterm labor, they may encourage you not to do it because you could start into labor if you were doing it frequently, I would guess. Tearing is not fun, but it is something you can come back from. There are lots of ways to help your body heal and you need to make that a priority. Even though you feel like the whole priority needs to be the baby, that is not always best in this case. Kind of a rough episode. Not something a lot of people like to talk about, including myself, but I hope that information was helpful. If you guys have any questions, please come find this episode over on Instagram and I would love to chitty chat with you about it there. Or come to the pulling curves and comment on the blog post if you have any questions.

[00:12:31.200] – Hilary Erickson

Stay tuned because we have some great episodes coming up. We are talking about home budgets next week with Lauren from the Wealth Edit. Then the week after that, we are having a Deja vu episode on splitting up chores in your marriage, so stay tuned.

[00:12:43.930] – Hilary Erickson

Thanks so much for joining us on today’s episode. The Pulling Curls Podcast grows when you share us on social media or leave a review. If you do, please tag us so that we can share and send you a virtual hug, which, frankly, is my favorite hugging. Until next time, we hope you have a tangle free day.

The post Tearing at Delivery – Episode 191 appeared first on Pulling Curls.

Todays guest is Ashley Pipp. Ashley is a mama, traveling labor nurse and birth consultant who is passionate about helping other mamas have a positive and empowered hospital birth.

Website- https://www.projectmamabear.com

Tiktok- https://www.tiktok.com/@projectmamabear

This episode was inspired by my post on postpartum comforts.

Big thanks to our sponsor The Online Prenatal Class for Couples — if you’re looking to get prepared for your upcoming delivery it’s the course for you!

In this episode

How you can prepare your perineum for your delivery

What you’ll do to take care of your bottom after baby

Products you might want for your bottom after baby

Other things that might interest you

My other postpartum posts: https://www.pullingcurls.com/category/pregnancy/postpartum-care/

The Pregnancy Nurse’s postpartum posts: https://pregnurse.com/category/postpartum/

My video on taking care of your bottom: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pm0s0NLQzH0&t=3s

Producer: Drew Erickson

Check out my other pregnancy podcasts:

Transcript

[00:00:00.240] – Hilary Erickson

Hey, guys. Welcome back to the Pulling Curls Podcast. Today on Episode 185, we’re talking about taking care of your bottom after you have a baby. Let’s untangle it.

[00:00:19.750] – Hilary Erickson

Hi, I’m Hilary Erickson, the curly head behind the Pulling Curls Podcast: pregnancy and parenting untangled. There’s no right answer for every family, but on this show, we hope to give you some ideas to make life simpler at your house. Life’s tangled, just like my hair.

[00:00:36.510] – Hilary Erickson

All right, I’m super excited for today’s guest, which I met on the Tik tok. She is the Mama behind Project Mama Bear, and she is a birth consultant. I want to introduce today’s guest, Ashley Pipp.

[00:00:55.540] – Hilary Erickson

Do you feel prepared for your delivery? In just three short hours, you can be prepared for the confident, collaborative delivery you want. You’ll know what to expect and how to talk with your health care team. And there are no boring lessons in this class. I’ll use humor, stories from my 20 years in the delivery room to engage both of you. I love how Alyssa told me that she found herself laughing at things that used to sound scary. Most of all, you guys are going to be on the same page from bump to bassinet. Join the online prenatal class for couples today. You can save 15 % with coupon code UNTANGLED. You can find the link in the show notes.

[00:01:30.920] – Hilary Erickson

Hey, Ashley, welcome to the Pulling Curls Podcast.

[00:01:33.480] – Ashley Pipp

Hi, Hilary.

[00:01:33.920] – Hilary Erickson

We are talking about all bathroom talk today on this podcast. You guys are so lucky.

[00:01:40.860] – Ashley Pipp

Something we all have in common, right? Everybody’s got to go.

[00:01:43.790] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. I have to say So after I had my first baby, I had done it in nursing school. I knew that you lined up the text and then blah, blah, blah. But when I went into pee for the first time, I don’t know if this is like you, Ashley, I was like, Oh, my gosh, this is a lot of work. Every time I go to the restroom.

[00:02:00.280] – Ashley Pipp

Especially when you go home and you’re, like sleep deprived.

[00:02:03.780] – Ashley Pipp

I think I ended up giving up on the warm water because I didn’t have the time to wait for it to warm up.

[00:02:13.320] – Ashley Pipp

Yeah. So I suffered with cold water at times.

[00:02:15.580] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. So today we’re talking about how you take care of your bottom after you have a baby because it is a whole routine and it can last a few days or a few weeks, depending on how much you tear or how you’re healing and all those things. But Ashley had some interesting things to add about before you go to the hospital, how to try and keep your downtown a little bit safer. So take it away, Ashley.

[00:02:37.780] – Ashley Pipp

Absolutely. Yeah. So I only have one kid, right? And even being a labor and delivery nurse, you have experience. I’m used to get your moms up to go to the bathroom that first time. But I want to know, too, because I was about to go through that. And what I learned is that I wanted to prepare my body before. So I made sure that I why up my protein for my diet and my pregnancy. I stayed hydrated. I personally did stay active, like lots of walking and prenatal yoga, which I thought was helpful. One thing I did that can be recommended but is a little awkward sometimes for Mamas is something called perineal massage. And we like would light candles. My husband was my helper.

[00:03:25.860] – Hilary Erickson

Oh, you weren’t just like giving it a little rub. You were going the whole nine yards.

[00:03:29.340] – Ashley Pipp

Oh, we did the whole thing with some oil. I mean, you could use olive oil.

[00:03:33.820] – Hilary Erickson

Mineral oil. Do not use essential oils. No teatree down there.

[00:03:39.130] – Ashley Pipp

No, please. And we had essential oils in the room. But it’s in no way romantic.

[00:03:49.060] – Hilary Erickson

Much of most of pregnancy.

[00:03:51.360] – Ashley Pipp

No. But I did feel that it prepared my body for that sensation. I felt that sensation and it gave me some expectation of what that I’m eventually going to feel. I honestly think that it helped me not tear as much, which is I don’t know about every mama, but that was my biggest fear, the tear. I had a nine pounder baby, my first baby. She was nine pounds, two and a half ounces, and I had a skid mark in the tiny first degree, and I swear it helped. Yeah.

[00:04:23.860] – Hilary Erickson

I mean, I had forceps in a fourth degree.

[00:04:27.370] – Ashley Pipp

Oh, no.

[00:04:28.220] – Hilary Erickson

We are coming from different angles in the restroom area. On my first, I didn’t.

[00:04:32.240] – Ashley Pipp

Hear that much on my second. I can’t wait to hear what you have to say then.

[00:04:36.560] – Hilary Erickson

So the studies show the perineal massage is like a quid pro. Some show that it’s helpful, some show that it doesn’t. But the thing is you don’t know what people are doing. I don’t think in the studies they go to Joan, the Nurse Practitioner, who does your perineal massage for you. You know what I’m saying? It’s somebody people would do privately in their home.

[00:04:56.860] – Ashley Pipp

Honestly, I think the biggest thing for me was the sensation because the unknown is what causes the fear. I feel like feeling what that sensation was, like mentally and physically prepared me of what to expect for birth. And then also warm compresses when pushing for right, when crowning.

[00:05:17.420] – Hilary Erickson

And honestly, that’s just something I would tell your nurse about, because sometimes I feel like a cold compress, just depending on how the tissue feel. Sometimes I’ll put ice down there while they’re… And sometimes I’ll put a warm compress, but tell… That might be something to put on your birth plan, just saying you’re open to it and maybe asking her about while you’re pushing. Because sometimes nurses are so caught up in like, when do I call the doctor? My patient’s in the other room.

[00:05:45.240] – Ashley Pipp

Yeah, charting every 15 minutes.

[00:05:47.420] – Hilary Erickson

Sometimes you just have to mention, hey, do you think a compress would help? How’s my downtown looking?

[00:05:52.400] – Ashley Pipp

Yeah.

[00:05:53.460] – Hilary Erickson

Just reminds them.

[00:05:54.880] – Ashley Pipp

And one more thing that I feel like really helped me was like pelvic floor exercises. Like doing kegels, learning to relax, to tighten and relax those muscles just to know what’s going on down there.

[00:06:08.820] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. I think most of us are pretty disconnected from what’s down there, especially before we have a baby because we’re just like, it works. I don’t wet my pants. I don’t have any issues. Sex is great, stuff like that. And then after you have a baby, you’re like, well, that’s different.

[00:06:25.680] – Ashley Pipp

I know. So a lot of times you hear about doing kegels after, right? Like to help after. But I feel like doing it a little bit before, too, is helpful because then you get familiar with those muscles down there that you’re going to have to use to push your baby out. Yeah.

[00:06:41.270] – Hilary Erickson

And a lot of Lamass classes, and including my prenatal class, we talk about relaxing downtown because a lot of times, especially because the blankets are all off, you’re just exposed. A lot of times I’ll see moms doing kegels while they’re pushing. And I’m like, oh, no, we’re not doing… We are relaxed as Jellow down here.

[00:06:59.660] – Ashley Pipp

Yes, opposite. Yeah.

[00:07:01.270] – Hilary Erickson

So after you go to the restroom… And a lot of people, I think, think it’s only going to be a big deal if they tear, a full blown tear. But I will say that I had a skin mark on one of these kids I had, and that’s a stinger right on its own. Oh, yeah.

[00:07:17.480] – Ashley Pipp

I don’t think it matters. Even if you didn’t have a tear, a baby just came out of your vagina. It’s going to be sensitive.

[00:07:25.710] – Hilary Erickson

So that first get up to the restroom, it really depends on what hospital you’re at and their routines and policies. My first hospital, we got people up at an hour, which is insane. I don’t know. What do you do? What have you seen?

[00:07:37.240] – Ashley Pipp

I’ve experienced different things where they want you to go very quickly like that. And then I’ve been where it’s been a little bit closer to that two hour mark.

[00:07:47.210] – Hilary Erickson

But.

[00:07:48.300] – Ashley Pipp

Sometimes you don’t have a choice. If they have an epidural and it’s super heavy and they can’t get up, then you either have to wait a little bit longer.

[00:07:58.280] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. We had a device called the Sarah Steaddy. Have you ever worked with that? Where we just would haul them to the restroom. It’s basically like a wheelchair for the toilet.

[00:08:06.450] – Ashley Pipp

I make every mama waive like a princess.

[00:08:08.980] – Hilary Erickson

Sometimes we can’t find a wheelchair and we have to use that to take them to the most part of them.

[00:08:14.570] – Ashley Pipp

It’s a good feeling. Oh, yeah, I’ve seen that too.

[00:08:18.020] – Hilary Erickson

So the reason we have this device, because a lot of you are like, why on Earth can I not walk to the restroom? Is because if you had an epidural, it may still be working on your legs. But also if you just had a baby, sometimes those legs are just unsteady, right? And I cannot emphasize to my listeners how much paperwork is involved if you fall.

[00:08:40.180] – Ashley Pipp

Oh, yeah. Too much.

[00:08:42.460] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. Not that we want you to fall or we have any concerns about because I think a lot of my patients are like, whoops. I’m like, oh, my gosh, there’s so much work to do now.

[00:08:52.200] – Ashley Pipp

I think even with mamas who don’t have an epidural, I tend to like to move slow anyway. Your legs might feel wobbly but also you lost volume. And a lot of Mamas want to get up and they’re ready to take off running. And I’m like, Whoa, hold on.

[00:09:07.920] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. I’ve had some get up right away and shower. And I’m like, oh, yeah. Okay, I’m not you.

[00:09:15.220] – Ashley Pipp

I’m like, we got to move slow because we can’t have you fainting on us.

[00:09:18.720] – Hilary Erickson

So a lot of times I’ll talk a Chuck’s, which is like a puppy pad in between your legs because it is not unusual for that first time. By the way, this is not a super kid friendly episode in case your kids are listening or kids that understand. But it can be a big gush that first time you get up because it’s been pooling, right?

[00:09:37.290] – Ashley Pipp

Oh, yeah. My favorite thing, like my common practice that I do now every single time, I use that puppy pad too, but I just put the mesh undies on before. So that way both my hands can be with the patient and nobody has to worry about that pad coming down because if it falls, Whoa. Housekeeping! Yeah, it’s going to make a mess. And honestly, if mama, if you make a mess, don’t feel sorry, don’t feel bad, you literally can’t help it.

[00:10:06.100] – Hilary Erickson

No. And the hospital is, I mean, we do it. We have those floors because they take blood. That is why the floors are there. Whatever flooring we picked. So true. So you get up to the restroom and you are super dirty. Just plan on not feeling so fresh down there. So we give you a little sprayer. It’s called a Perineel wash bottle. There’s other companies that sell those, but the hospital, it just looks like a fancy bottle of water, basically, that you can fill up.

[00:10:35.940] – Ashley Pipp

Yeah. I’ve heard of moms buying those. I mean, you can buy it if you want, but the ones in the hospitals work just great, right?

[00:10:43.360] – Hilary Erickson

I know a lot of people love the freedom mom, but I don’t know how much better it could be than my… Unless it was a bidet.

[00:10:49.710] – Ashley Pipp

If I’m going to spend money on something, it’s going to be on those sexy depends. The ones that look like a lace.

[00:10:59.620] – Hilary Erickson

So classy. Yes. So we’re going to get you up. And I don’t know, tell me how it felt because you had a skid mark so that can burn. And a lot of times you’re afraid of it burning when you pee and so you resist peeing and your labor nurse does not want you to do that, right?

[00:11:15.780] – Ashley Pipp

Yeah. So after I always give my mom’s homework, like, as soon as the baby is born, like, hey, if you can chug some water because we will be getting you up. And then when we do get up, when we get to the toilet, we will have you sit down. And if you’re afraid, which is something that I did just to personally help myself because I was a little bit worried too, is that I sprayed something called Dermoplast first before going, even if it like mentally prepares you to go, I felt like it helped.

[00:11:45.460] – Ashley Pipp

And honestly, you just got to get into your mind of I just pushed a baby out. I’m fricking bad. You know what I mean? I don’t know if I can say that. But you just push a baby out like peeing. You got to really just take take a deep breath and overcome that fear. And remember the most incredible thing that you just did, right? You just birthed the whole baby.

[00:12:06.760] – Hilary Erickson

You can.

[00:12:07.220] – Ashley Pipp

Do.

[00:12:08.120] – Hilary Erickson

Anything. You can pee.

[00:12:10.270] – Ashley Pipp

Yes. Well, the.

[00:12:11.020] – Hilary Erickson

Thing that we don’t want… Or maybe you can’t. Yeah, it’s true. The thing that we don’t want is for you to resist peeing because if your bladder fills up, it gets in the way of the uterus clamping down and then you bleed, which is what we.

[00:12:23.040] – Ashley Pipp

Don’t want. We do not want no hemorrhaging, please.

[00:12:26.920] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. But like she was saying, sometimes it’s hard to pee. I’ve actually noticed it a lot in moms who get lidocaine at delivery because I think it numbs their pee hole.

[00:12:34.920] – Ashley Pipp

Oh, you know what? That’s very interesting that you say that. I don’t think I’ve ever put two and two together with that. But yeah, I have noticed that too.

[00:12:42.160] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, because one day I was like, why the heck can she not pee? My manager was like, Well, did she get lidocaine? I was like, Yeah, of course. And she’s like, Well, it numbs everything. And I was.

[00:12:52.940] – Ashley Pipp

Like, Sorry, you learn something new.

[00:12:54.240] – Hilary Erickson

Every day. How did I not think about that? The first 15 years I did this. Anyway, so it can happen to anybody natural because it stretches out those tissues and your urethra is like, no, we’re done. We’re just taking… We’re on holiday down here. The shop’s closed. And so there are some tricks that your labor nurse might try to get you to pee. We’ll turn on the water, we’ll talk about waterfalls.

[00:13:17.620] – Ashley Pipp

I’ll bring the water to the bathroom for you to sip. I’ve also used… Have you ever used peppermint oil?

[00:13:23.400] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, we started using that and I had no idea.

[00:13:26.070] – Ashley Pipp

I had to look it up. I was like… A lot of the things I learn are from just different nurses or postpartum nurses. And someone mentioned peppermint oil, and I was like, oh, okay. Honestly, I have a fanny pack. I carry that in my fanny pack for labor, but now I use it to go pee. Postpartum as well.

[00:13:45.820] – Hilary Erickson

No idea why it works.

[00:13:47.030] – Ashley Pipp

I looked it up. It just does.

[00:13:50.960] – Hilary Erickson

Well, I’m guessing it relax. So to be very clear, we are not putting that on your pee hole. We just drop a little bit in the toilet. I’ve heard some people have them sniff it. No, it does not go by your pee hole. That does not need to be menti fresh.

[00:14:06.320] – Ashley Pipp

That will most likely make you burn.

[00:14:09.980] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. Oh, ow. I’ve had patients blow bubbles with a straw. Have you ever.

[00:14:15.160] – Ashley Pipp

Tried that? That’s a good one. So someone else taught me this, too. I don’t know the mechanism of how it works, but maybe it’s similar. Sometimes I’ll have my moms put their thumb at the roof of their mouth and then blow air out. But close your mouth, but don’t let the air come out. So you’re like…

[00:14:31.000] – Hilary Erickson

Oh, right. You’re just blowing. You’re sucking your thumb, but you’re blowing on it.

[00:14:34.140] – Ashley Pipp

Yeah. And that’s worked. But those are the blowing bubbles in a cup. Okay, I will add to my list. Whenever a.

[00:14:43.790] – Hilary Erickson

New nurse comes that has like, we’re like, that’s fascinating. I’m 100 % trying this. This is things labor nurses obsess over because if you don’t pee and you’re bleeding and whatever your hospital policy is, we may have to put a catheter in. And as bad as peeing sounds, nobody thinks the catheter sounds very fun.

[00:15:00.620] – Ashley Pipp

Especially after having a baby. And if you had an epidural, if the epidural wore out, you’re definitely going to feel it going in, which is very uncomfortable.

[00:15:09.620] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. The good news is I don’t know if there’s anybody in the hospital better putting catheters in than the OBGYN floor where you’re rockstar catheter placers.

[00:15:17.730] – Ashley Pipp

Yes, right? Yes. Fully princess.

[00:15:21.300] – Hilary Erickson

And at that point, it would just go in, drain it out like a hose, and then it comes right back out. It’s not going to stay in like when you had your epidural. But if you’re bleeding a lot, we obviously want to keep all the blood that we can inside your body. So a catheter would be an option at that point.

[00:15:35.690] – Ashley Pipp

Right. Or if your bladder is like fool, it will make your uterus shift over to the left or right, which is no bueno. That’s not good. No. So sometimes Mamas need that extra help.

[00:15:48.640] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. And the weird thing about going to the bathroom is your nurse is going to hang out there with you, which for most people before they’ve had a baby have never had a nurse hang out in the bathroom with them, although it is common in the hospital for nurses to come to the bathroom with patients. So it can be awkward. So usually if we can’t pee, I’m trying all the things, obviously, but I’ll step outside. I’m right outside the door, but sometimes people need some privacy. Now, if it’s your second baby, you realize that you don’t need any privacy to use the restroom. Yeah.

[00:16:17.220] – Ashley Pipp

There’s always this.

[00:16:19.880] – Ashley Pipp

I always just say don’t wipe or get up without me. And now I would shut the door too just to get… Because I couldn’t pee with somebody staring at me.

[00:16:29.830] – Hilary Erickson

I 100 % could pee at any point in time with someone staring at me.

[00:16:33.250] – Ashley Pipp

You could? Well, now.

[00:16:34.840] – Hilary Erickson

Now.

[00:16:35.080] – Ashley Pipp

I mean.

[00:16:36.020] – Hilary Erickson

Kids are always like… Even I have a 10 year old that’s just like, Hey, mom, opens the door and I’m like, We’re 10. Yeah. When is this going to end? Yeah. Okay, so after you pee, it may burn a little bit when you pee. Some patients say it feels good. I mean, a lot of times there’s a relief because your bladder might be full.

[00:16:56.200] – Ashley Pipp

Who knows? Right. And I think getting over the initial, you did it, then it’s not so scary anymore.

[00:17:02.410] – Hilary Erickson

Nobody gets up the second time and is afraid to pee. So maybe that makes other people feel better.

[00:17:08.120] – Ashley Pipp

Yeah. And we really hook you up for downstairs after… I say even if they didn’t have a tear, I’m like, look, this perry bottle is awesome. It helps clean you. We put warm water, we spray down low. And then I just say if you want to, you can pat, but definitely no wiping. And then we usually have ice packs to put in the pad. I love to still use the first few times just because the bleeding is a little bit more heavy after. And then it lightens up. I still use the puppy pad, like the big Chuck. Oh, you do? Yeah. In addition to the bigger pad in the middle, just because I’ve experienced because right now I currently work in an LDRP, which is labor and postpartum. I’ve had to clean a lot of bed sheets and stuff. If the pad is a little bit small and the bleeding misses the chuck, then it gets all over. So I like to use that big pad just for extra comfort where you don’t have to worry that you’re going to be making a mess in bed.

[00:18:09.260] – Hilary Erickson

And every hospital totally varies in what supplies they give you after you have a baby because my current hospital, it’s like a Chuck’s pad. They only give us three. I don’t know why we only get three. But it’s basically just like it depends. It covers almost the entire underwear, which is really nice. Oh, that’s nice. Only three times.

[00:18:28.150] – Ashley Pipp

Okay. Yeah, they have a bigger one and then a regular, almost like what you would use for your period. Even if I don’t have the bigger ones, I’ll put two little period ones on it. I just get creative on a Chuck, because the Chuck will make it, I don’t know, just more comfy that you feel safe that you’re not going to leak because it does feel messy.

[00:18:50.100] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. It is going to be more bleeding than you’ve had during your period. A lot of people are like, Well, how bad can it be? Usually, you’re filling up that pad every single time you go to the restroom, you will have a fairly full pad those first few days just to give people an idea.

[00:19:03.380] – Ashley Pipp

It does get better over time. It does. But then what I’ll put is the ice pack and then the witch Hazel pads or the tux create a little, what do they call it, a pad sickle.

[00:19:15.950] – Hilary Erickson

In.

[00:19:16.890] – Ashley Pipp

Which Hazel pads help with soothing and healing. And then most places will have that DermiP last. I think I’ve seen… I forget what the generic name is for it.

[00:19:28.880] – Hilary Erickson

Benzocaine, something and something. Yeah, everybody uses DermiP last, though. I do know some people who are like, oh, that’s too… There’s something in it there, like, is horrifying. So there are some natural brands out there if you want to look for something with a numbing spray.

[00:19:43.460] – Ashley Pipp

Yeah, to help with the burning or the itching just to help numb it.

[00:19:47.640] – Hilary Erickson

One of my hospitals, we had like a steroid foam that we put on the text, which I thought was a good idea. But what I’m telling you is there’s a lot that goes on down there. You’re not just like slapping a pad down and jumping up.

[00:20:02.120] – Ashley Pipp

No, I guess you could, but it won’t feel.

[00:20:05.400] – Hilary Erickson

As nice. Yeah. So there’s a lot of things that we do, and all of this is meant to just try and help you heal faster, less pain, because I have the fourth degree and I have to tell you that no painkiller was touching it. I was taking all the Vica, Perca, Oxy that I could, and that just really made me constipated because the stinging and whatever from that cut, I just needed topical stuff. I should have just like, heist it for.

[00:20:28.840] – Ashley Pipp

Six weeks. Did you have topical stuff or they didn’t have that then?

[00:20:32.700] – Hilary Erickson

No, we still had tox and dermaplast, all those things. But I’m just saying that the more you can put stuff on that type of a thing rather than taking the pain.

[00:20:43.180] – Ashley Pipp

Meds, it would be better. Yeah, that post part in poop is something else, too. So that’s a whole topic.

[00:20:48.500] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, maybe we’ll have you back on for talking about poop, but we’re just handling pee right now. Okay. And then you want to change the pad every time you get up to the restroom. I don’t know what you did when you had your period when you were 14 because I have a really light flow personally, like on a normal period. But you do want to change that pad every time because you have, even if you haven’t torn, you do have tissues that are real fragile right then and you want to make sure that they’re not getting infected, mostly.

[00:21:14.770] – Ashley Pipp

Right. And you just want to keep yourself clean, right? You don’t want any type of infection, anything like that. Yeah. It makes it feel nicer, too, I think, which is super important.

[00:21:26.060] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. Because really, most people don’t get up to shower, which feels amazing until 12 hours after birth. I don’t know. What do you see?

[00:21:32.830] – Ashley Pipp

You LDRP, maybe? Yeah, usually it’s like the next morning. Yeah, like 12 hours after. Oh, and one thing I forget, too, which I offer, but not everybody wants to do it. Maybe it’s something you can do at home is like a warm sits bath.

[00:21:47.780] – Hilary Erickson

Do you guys have the Sitz baths on your unit? Sitz bath, it’s like a homemade bidet, basically. It’s got a big bottle of water that gravity flows down and then it sprays your perineum.

[00:22:00.140] – Ashley Pipp

We have a little bucket that we can make shift into to help do that. Then we also have a bathtub, which it’s so funny because I think in the beginning of my career, I learned absolutely no baths. But a warm, six bath, if you don’t have that, you could, if you’re feeling up to it, get into the bath and have warm water.

[00:22:23.740] – Hilary Erickson

Usually, they’ll say run the water, leave the drain halfway open so that you’re constantly recycling the water. You’re not just sitting.

[00:22:31.300] – Ashley Pipp

In dirty water. My doctor.

[00:22:32.900] – Hilary Erickson

Told me to do that, and I had a fourth degree. And when I would squat down to get into the bath, I thought I was going to die. So I don’t know why they didn’t give me a six bath.

[00:22:41.600] – Ashley Pipp

To sleep with my tub. The bathtub might have not been for you. Maybe you needed that. It’s hard work to get in the toilet. I can’t imagine what it would have felt like to get in the tub feeling like that.

[00:22:52.000] – Hilary Erickson

And I would 100 % ask for a bidet for my shower gift if I was having a baby right now. Like someone to come and install.

[00:23:00.090] – Ashley Pipp

It. street list.

[00:23:01.000] – Hilary Erickson

They have fancy ones like the tushy, I think it’s called.

[00:23:04.030] – Ashley Pipp

Yeah, I heard of that. Yeah.

[00:23:06.040] – Hilary Erickson

Which they sent me one. We’ve had it for a while. But it’s too firm of a spray. You want one that has a very light spray initially, I think, because I think the tushy is meant for the back hole. You really just want a light flow of water on that area. And I think it would have felt amazing. So if that’s something you guys are concerned about, I think a bidet is handy either way. It would be a good one to install if you’re in your own home and can do those things.

[00:23:33.350] – Ashley Pipp

And look, if you don’t like it, at least try it, see if it works. And then if not, then put it away.

[00:23:39.660] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. And while we do warm water in the hospital, a lot of times cold water will feel better when you get home. Or I have patients who prefer the cold water on day two at the facility. So just do whatever feels best. There’s no magical thing that will fix it. I wish there was a perineum fairy. That’s what we should call this episode the Perineum Fairy. What do you think about this? I think people feel super awkward about all that.

[00:24:05.860] – Ashley Pipp

About the whole process?

[00:24:08.140] – Hilary Erickson

Or us going to the bathroom, showing them how to put the things on. And I don’t want that for my patient at all. That’s such an important part of my job to make sure you can take care.

[00:24:16.280] – Ashley Pipp

Of yourself. Oh, yeah, for sure. Well, I’ve also seen a lot of moms worry like, Oh, where are you going to be? I’m like, Oh, don’t worry, girl. We’re going to hook you up. We’re going to give you all these things, all those things to help you heal down there. But yeah, it can be awkward just because you’re waddling your belly. Once you have your baby, your belly does not go completely away. So sometimes you can’t see.

[00:24:40.870] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, you can’t because you’re going to be like, when you have first visit to the restroom, you’re probably six months pregnant. That’s what you’re going to look like.

[00:24:48.920] – Ashley Pipp

Yeah. I created a little basket. So when I went into the bathroom at home, I literally had everything right there. I didn’t care if my family or friends or whoever came. I’m like, This is my basket. Looks a little funny. Got all the pads and stuff, but it’s just easy so you don’t have to go collect everything. It just makes it easier.

[00:25:10.440] – Hilary Erickson

Two things I just thought of. First, don’t wear your favorite pair of socks right after you have your baby.

[00:25:14.680] – Ashley Pipp

Because.

[00:25:16.660] – Hilary Erickson

They could get real bloody and then you’ll be like, Oh, my favorite pair of socks. And I’m like, Do you want me to throw them away?

[00:25:23.360] – Ashley Pipp

Or your cute blanket.

[00:25:25.820] – Ashley Pipp

Or your cute blanket.

[00:25:26.750] – Hilary Erickson

Anything you really like needs to be waist level up.

[00:25:32.250] – Hilary Erickson

Yes. And then the other thing is I had a hard time controlling my pee on my first baby who had the big tear. I would get up and I would pee a little bit. I couldn’t hold my pee when I needed to use the restroom. I needed to go right then. And that did get better. Still not perfect, but it did get better. So a lot of moms, that pad was not full of blood. There were other things on it, and it’s meant to be that. All those things are stretched out. Don’t freak out. That’s your new life.

[00:25:59.120] – Ashley Pipp

Things got to just get adjusted.

[00:26:02.640] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. Anyway, anything else.

[00:26:03.660] – Ashley Pipp

To add? Gosh, not that I can think of.

[00:26:06.840] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, it’s just a thing and it doesn’t last that long. You’re not going to be putting those pads on. My flows usually lasted two, probably three weeks on the third baby. So again, I’m not a big bleeder in general. What do you think? Talking to friends.

[00:26:22.040] – Ashley Pipp

You know what? Honestly, for myself, you mean? Yeah. Like how long it was for me?

[00:26:26.840] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah.

[00:26:27.240] – Ashley Pipp

I can’t even remember how long, but I know it can be up to… I feel like it was a little bit longer for me, maybe four weeks.

[00:26:36.640] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, that’s probably closer to the average. And then you’re probably wearing panel liners for a little bit. Just out.

[00:26:41.570] – Ashley Pipp

Of fear. Out of concern. I’m not wanting them. Especially because I had cute postpartum pajamas and stuff like that. I was like, No way am I getting this mess. This for extra coverage.

[00:26:52.220] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. And then you’ll just go on and be a normal peeing human being that doesn’t need a whole rigmarole when they go.

[00:26:58.290] – Ashley Pipp

To the restroom. I think if I could add just one one thing, it would be like sometimes Mamas are in labor for a long time and they’re getting all this fluid. Sometimes those tissue down low can become very swollen. You wouldn’t even recognize it. It is just to alternate ight? Maybe every time you go to the bathroom, put that ice pack on, on and off. Alternate each time you go to the bathroom to help with that swelling.

[00:27:23.600] – Hilary Erickson

You mean when they’re in labor or after? No, after.

[00:27:27.060] – Ashley Pipp

If you notice or if your nurse notices or mentions anything about being swollen, yeah, you can put an ice pack too while you’re in labor as well to help that swelling.

[00:27:36.420] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. I ice pack constantly for the first 48 hours. I just tell them if it’s not cold, just put a new one on. And you have to remember, hospitals are really weird about their ice packs. I don’t know. It sounds like you might have a premade one at your hospital. Oh, no, not at my hospital. We either put it in a newborn diaper. I’ve seen that. Yeah. Which is also nice because then if you put the diaper and the ice, it’s all good down with a diaper. Or we’ll put it in a glove and then cover it with gauze or something like that. And there are times that I really like that because the gloves can get into your lady cards a little bit. Like, if you have a specific hematoma or something like a bruise, I’ll stick that glove finger right where it can help out.

[00:28:20.500] – Ashley Pipp

Or they don’t want that. They want you to use the specific ice pack, which I’ve learned tricks with our ice pack is like, oh, if you sprinkle a little water on your hospital ice pack, it makes it more cold.

[00:28:34.330] – Hilary Erickson

Oh, interesting.

[00:28:35.420] – Ashley Pipp

Yeah. But I’ve heard of the diaper, not the glove.

[00:28:39.190] – Hilary Erickson

Well, we only give you three pads too. Anyway, labor nurses are crafty. So if there’s anything that you’re feeling down there, whatever, ask the questions, don’t be embarrassed. This is our thing. Obviously, we’re here in a podcast talking about pee. We have very few barriers to bodily functions.

[00:28:59.020] – Ashley Pipp

There’s no such thing as a. Stupid question.

[00:29:01.590] – Hilary Erickson

No. And if it can make you more comfortable, we don’t even care.

[00:29:04.150] – Ashley Pipp

Now, you got to be prepared for taking care of yourself at home. So I know you’re going to get all this information on the baby, but you matter, too. So you got to pay attention and learn of how you can care for yourself down there.

[00:29:15.690] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, you actually matter more because if the mom is gone, then the baby is screwed. All right. Where can people find you?

[00:29:24.930] – Ashley Pipp

You can find… I have a website, but I don’t do much with it yet. I’m still working on it. My website is projectmamabear.Com. You can follow me on TikTok @projectmamabear.

[00:29:37.460] – Hilary Erickson

That’s where I found you.

[00:29:40.260] – Ashley Pipp

On the clock app. And then if anyone… I mean, I’m literally… What I want to do is just help moms prepare for birth, which is what I’ve been doing, just talking to them one on one. So if anyone has any questions, it’s not medical advice, but here to help, you can email me at projectmamabear.Birth@gmail.com.

[00:29:59.130] – Hilary Erickson

Awesome. All right, thanks for coming on, Ashley.

[00:30:01.890] – Ashley Pipp

Thank you, Hilary. It’s so nice to meet you.

[00:30:04.180] – Hilary Erickson

I know it sounds crazy to do a full episode just on peeing, but I think it is something that really catches people off guard, and I am here to not let that happen. So if you have had a baby and there was something that caught you off guard, I would love to know about it. Come tell me over on the Instagram. Or if this was an eye opener, come tell me on the Instagram. I just think that would fun to know. Hopefully this gave you some good information and you guys will check Ashley out on social media.

[00:30:28.700] – Hilary Erickson

Don’t miss my upcoming episodes. Next week, we are talking about teaching reading with your kidlets. And even if you’re pregnant, there are some good nuggets in that episode. And then the week after that, I’m having another TikTok nurse come on where we are talking about what the hospital does to prepare in case something bad happens to you. I know it sounds scary, but sometimes when you learn what we’re doing to help prevent stuff like this, it can really help. So stay tuned.

[00:30:52.180] – Hilary Erickson

Thanks so much for joining us on today’s episode. The Pulling Curls Podcast grows when you share us on social media or leave a review. If you do, please tag us so that we can share and send you a virtual hug, which, frankly, is my favorite kind of hugging. Until next time, we hope you have a tangle free day.

The post Taking Care of Your Bottom with Ashley Pipp from Project Mama Bear — Episode 185 appeared first on Pulling Curls.