One of my very best nurse friends lost her husband this past week. I went to the funeral today. I have to tell you, it was REALLY hard for me. For several reason.
1. I’ve never been to anything other than a Mormon funeral. Believe me, I’ve been to a heck-o-lot o’ those… but I actually came home and googled it last night after work, just to know what to expect.
2. It was really different Painfully different. I can’t really put into words how thankful I am for my own faith, my own faith family, and that I have a relationship with God that helps me through times. I have a hard time with the incense, the decorations, the chairs, the readings, the singing. It’s hard to put it into words. I hope that Grace recieved strength and peace from it. I love her so.
3. The worst part is how the whole thing revolved around praying for him. I’m not exactly sure why he needs our prayers now. I feel like he’s faught the good fight and now it’s over and he is at peace (her husband had a world of medical problems for about the last 4-5 years). I don’t get that.
4. I was sad how they didn’t talk about how God is there for her. She is still fighting the fight. I am going to compose a letter and bake her some bread. In it, I’m going to include some thoughts from this blog entry where I talked about how Jesus knows all of our suffering. He’s not there just for the dying, he’s there to help us live. I love him, I know he loves Grace. I hurt for her. I know he can take that away… for both of us. Everything I want to say to her sounds so hokey and contrived… I know I can continue to pray for her, and pray for ideas on how to help her.
5. I’m not a lover of ceremony. I like genuine thoughts from the heart. I have a feeling I’d have to get over that if I ever converted.
As a side note, and a thought of how lucky I am… Drew’s birthday is today. I’m so thankful he’s here in this earth with me and I am so grateful for him. We even had lunch today. That never happens. And when I say never, I mean ever. The stars aligned.