Thursday, September 09, 2010

Sad, Sad

The sad news for our family is that Drew's cousins wife died unexpectedly in her sleep the night after Labor Day.  It's a lovely way to die (and, thankfully I know Roberta would know exactly what I mean by this), but also an awful way because those who find you are those who love you most, with no chances for goodbyes. This is my most recent picture of her, and I think it sums it up best.  Roberta was a mother, a mother to everyone.  She was one of the mothers I learned so very much from when I wasn't even a mom.  We hung out a lot whith them when we lived in Utah when we were first married, before we moved here.  Sometimes I wonder if her mothering hours were used up.  Like, her mother ticker had just run out.  She mothered her own {amazing}  kids, she mothered me and Drew as we were newlyweds, she mothered nieces, nephews, friends, neighbors, countrymen....  I know kids loved being at her house because Roberta was so open and enjoyable.

Roberta somehow put herself co-in-charge of the last couple of family reunions.  The kids had SO much fun with all the fun things she planned for them, even though her kids were much too old to enjoy pin the tail on the donkey or P's personal favorite, pick the duck out of the kiddie pool.  P could have walked around for hours with those ducks....  In the photo above she walked her horse around that pond at least 20 times so the kids could all have a ride on it. 

She was also a nurse.  She actually started back to school to become a nurse as I was finishing.  I thought she was insane.  But, I knew she'd be great at it!  You could tell she was one of those amazing nurses who really made a difference.  On the unit, with her patients, with her co-workers.  I always secretly thought maybe someday we'd move back to Utah and we could work together.  No such luck.  The saddest part is that she carried something for EVERY. SINGLE. EMERGENCY. with her.  All the time.  Perhaps this is a very sad lesson that you can't prepare for everything.  I hate that.  I wish you could.  Believe me, I try too. :)

She possessed the most amazing ability to see a person for who they were and what they needed and was able to fulfill that need (which is probably what helped her be a great nurse -- and also a great mom, as the two sometimes go hand in hand).  I often talked to her about how she could see so much potential in a person and was always SO willing to help anyone out to reach that potential (but rode the fine line of not acting like everyone was perfect, she also had a lovely rye sense of humor, which of course I couldn't be friends with her without).

The sad thing about this place we call Earth is that we can't see all of God's plan.  I haven't a clue why she had to leave this earth.  It makes me terribly sad.  I will miss her as I suffer the hot summer heat in Preston alone {ok, not totally alone, but sometimes I needed an "outlaw" to play rye sense of humor with}, we'll try and duplicate her delicious cobbler and miss her so.  I can't imagine life without her.  But it will go on, it always does -- painful at first, and for a while.  My thoughts are constantly with her family who we all love so much.  That's one of the worst parts of living away is not being there when the ugly goes down.  Our hearts are with them, that's for sure.  We'll Miss You Roberta!  I hope you're having a nice spa day in heaven -- well deserved my dear!  But just one spa (ok, you really deserve a whole week) day before you set-up carnival games for all the little kids in heaven.  Complete with prizes and a pony.  Of course. :)


  1. I'm so sorry for your loss Hill! Please give Drew our best.

  2. So sorry for your loss. :-( Roberta sounds like she was a wonderful woman and she was blessing to all that knew her. Her gifts and everything she shared with all of you will live on forever in you. Take care.

  3. So sorry for your loss of a dear family memeber. I hear and feel you heartache. Your tribute in writing makes me sad but you'll always have her memories close to your heart.

  4. Sorry for your loss.

  5. She truly sounds like a neat woman! May her memories and the gospel carry you through this time of heartache.

  6. Well written. Sometimes it helps the hurt to get things down on paper and realize that others are there for you and can empathize. Let me know if you need anything.

  7. So sad! It's never easy to say goodbye but it sounds like she left a wonderful legacy behind.

  8. I'm so sorry, Hilary. These sudden deaths are so hard to understand. She sounds like seh was an amazing person.

  9. How awful! I am so sorry for your loss.

  10. Thank you so much for your amazing tribute to my beautiful, Roberta. She truly was my soul mate and best friend. One of the most comforting things to me through all of this is that I have no regrets. We lived life to the fullest and found just as much joy in the journey as we do in the destination. Our lives were also unconventional - for our 25th anniversary, we bought each other horses instead of boring wedding rings - because she had wanted to have horses again throughout our whole married life. She lived more in 46 years than most live in twice that.

    She gave me four wonderful, amazing children who are a great comfort to me now as well. They spoke at her funeral and gave a wonderful tribute to her there. My oldest son spoke of the time she drove with him to Wyoming to get "real" fireworks. On the night of her funeral, we went to her grave site and shot a few off knowing that because they are illegal, it would make her smile.

    In our 25 years of marriage, we never had a fight, rarely were apart, and always had each other's back. Our last words were, "I love you" even though we didn't know they would be our last. I still can't imagine how I will continue to live without her, but I know she is watching over us; ready to lend a hand from heaven.

    She loved serving others, traveling with medical teams to Mexico to assist with surgeries, mostly on children with birth defects, or with debilitating burns. Her patients loved her because she had a gift for seeing the best in everyone - often those who society had discarded.

    I will miss her smile, her energetic, yet tender hugs and kisses, but I often feel her close by and I know that I am not alone.

  11. Anonymous9:48 PM

    I didn;t know this, sorry to hear she sounds like a neat person


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