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Big thanks to our sponsor The Online Prenatal Class for Couples — if you’re looking for support & helping your partner support you too — it’s the class for you!

Today’s guest is Erin Galloway. Erin is a licensed master social worker and certified perinatal mental health professional dedicated to empowering women, supporting families, and connecting people with resources and community. Erin is the CEO of She Might, the online resource and community for women walking through unexpected motherhood. Erin is a mom of two, a Phoenix Suns fan, Americano enthusiast, and podcast lover.

Links for you:

Get resources for your unplanned pregnancy: https://www.shemight.com/resources

Episode with Dani’s pregnancy story: https://www.pullingcurls.com/262-getting-pregnant-advocacy/

Timestamps:

00:00 Unexpected Pregnancies Affect Everyone

05:32 “Unexpected Pregnancy After Years Trying”

09:29 “Parenthood Decisions and Identity Impact”

10:17 “Navigating Reactions to Unplanned Pregnancy”

13:30 Navigating Pregnancy and Unexpected Grief

18:46 “Unexpected Twists in Pregnancy”

22:26 Varied Emotions in Birth Stories

24:06 Navigating Pregnancy Challenges Together

28:08 Effective Communication for Better Support

29:49 Maternity Support & Resources Hub

32:56 “Pulling Curls Podcast Appreciation”

Keypoints:

• Unplanned or unexpected pregnancies are very common—almost half of pregnancies in the U.S. fall into this category, and they can happen to anyone, regardless of age, relationship status, or birth control use.
• Many misconceptions exist about unplanned pregnancies, such as the belief they mostly happen to teenagers or people in crisis, when in reality, they affect people from all walks of life.
• Feeling conflicted, numb, overwhelmed, or not immediately excited about a pregnancy is normal—even among those who tried to conceive or are experienced in pregnancy and childbirth.
• Unplanned pregnancies can trigger complex emotions, including grief for one’s previous lifestyle, personal identity, and future plans that are suddenly shifted or delayed.
• The reactions of partners, family, and friends to the news of an unexpected pregnancy can be surprising or disappointing, often because they, too, are processing shock or need time to adjust.
• Grief around unexpected pregnancy is valid—people may experience ambiguous or disenfranchised grief, mourning the loss of their former freedoms or the plans they thought they’d have.
• There is a wide spectrum of feelings experienced throughout pregnancy and postpartum, no matter how the pregnancy happened; bonding with the baby and feelings about motherhood develop differently for everyone.
• Support groups, mental health professionals, and online communities like She Might provide essential resources and a sense of belonging for those navigating unexpected pregnancies.
• Social media tends to showcase only the positive or “picture-perfect” aspects of pregnancy and motherhood, but tough emotions and struggles are far more common than people might share publicly.
• Recognizing and celebrating small wins, seeking help, and finding ways to bring pieces of pre-pregnancy joy into new routines can help parents cope and adapt through the journey of an unplanned pregnancy.

Producer: Drew Erickson

[00:00:00] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: You’re pregnant and it’s not planned. Today on the Pulling Curls Podcast, we’re talking about unexpected or unplanned pregnancies. Let’s untangle it.

[00:00:07] Hi, I’m Hilary, a Serial over Complicator. I’m also a nurse mom to three and the curly head behind pulling curls and the pregnancy nurse. This podcast aims to help us stop overcomplicating things and remember how much easier it is to keep things simple. Let’s smooth out those snarls with pregnancy and parenting untangled: the Pulling Curls podcast.

[00:00:37] This episode of the Pulling Curls Podcast is sponsored by the Online Prenatal Class for Couples. It is the easy way to get prepared for your upcoming hospital birth. It’s quick, can be done in just three hours. It’s affordable, so much cheaper than a lot of the online birth classes available, and it’s meant to be done with your partner. To get a teammate rather than just a cheerleader, come join us today.

[00:00:57] Today’s guest is a licensed master social worker and a certified perinatal mental health professional. She’s the CEO of SheMight. I wanna introduce today’s guest, Erin Galloway.

[00:01:07] Hey Erin. Welcome to the Pulling Curls podcast.

[00:01:10] Erin Galloway: Thank you so much for having me.

[00:01:12] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: This was planned this episode,

[00:01:14] Erin Galloway: It was,

[00:01:16] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: but not all babies are planned.

[00:01:18] Erin Galloway: yes, that’s very true.

[00:01:20] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: So how would you frame, like what is an unplanned pregnancy? Because I think all of us think, oh, you’re 12. 12 is probably earlier than most people think. But Hilary, I have delivered 12 year olds, but you’re 16, you and your boyfriend just didn’t think about a condom.

[00:01:34] But that is not what we’re talking about here today, although that happens too. And we’re here to support all those people.

[00:01:40] Erin Galloway: Yeah. Well, I wanna start by saying almost half of the pregnancies in the United States are what you might consider unplanned or unexpected. And that could be, regardless of whether you want to be a parent, whether you’re already a parent, whether you’re in a stable relationship, whether you used birth control or other forms of conception or not.

[00:01:58] Basically, an unexpected pregnancy can happen to anyone. And so like, I’m glad you said what you said because I think when people hear unexpected or unplanned pregnancy, assumptions are made that this must be someone who’s younger or someone in crisis and that’s just not the case. And I think that misconception’s becoming less common as you see a lot of stories on social media from people with different backgrounds and experiences who unexpectedly find themselves pregnant, in a different season of life.

[00:02:23] So I think to define that is really an unexpected pregnancy is just that. It’s unexpected. That could mean, like I said, you were using contraception and it still happened. You thought you were done having kids. You never imagined having kids at all, or not anytime soon. You thought it would take a long time to get pregnant, so you started trying and you didn’t really expect it to happen the first time. And you’re not emotionally ready in that moment till you didn’t expect it. So I think a lot of people expect it to take time. ’cause we’re hearing more and more that it’s taking a year or longer to get pregnant. So these are all real stories I’ve heard from women we’ve spoken to. Everyone’s experience is so different, but I think there are just so many reasons that a pregnancy might be labeled unexpected. Yeah.

[00:03:09] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I wanna tell like two sides of the stories. First off. We had Dani on the podcast, and she talked about how she used a syringe and semen from a birth bank and did it at home. But even for her, she was super surprised that it worked.

[00:03:23] So even though she, she put all this effort into getting pregnant, it still is like, oh my gosh, now I actually am pregnant. And I think that’s really valid. And I gotta say that as a labor nurse, people who do pregnancy all the time, I had a coworker who was like, oh, my boobs are really hurting today. My period must be coming.

[00:03:41] And we were like, how late is it? And she was like, like a week. And we were all like. Huh,

[00:03:46] Erin Galloway: Yeah.

[00:03:47] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: you know, trying And then a week later we were like, you should go take a pregnancy test.

[00:03:51] And she took one and it was positive and she and I both had kids that were just entering kindergarten. You know, we were just feeling like, oh, we are getting a little bit of our life back and she was starting back with a baby and it was devastating for a while for her, even as people who do labor and delivery

[00:04:08] Erin Galloway: Mm-hmm.

[00:04:08] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Constantly. It was a lot and it was a lot even up until the baby was born. She didn’t feel like she had bonded with her as much. But you know, a couple months in, she was like, it’s exactly the same with the other kids. It just took a while and I think that’s so valid and I think a lot of people are like, this doesn’t happen to people that are like smart and like think about things like this.

[00:04:28] Erin Galloway: No.

[00:04:28] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: think about pregnancy all the time that my coworker was a real smart girl. Stuff happens.

[00:04:34] Erin Galloway: Yeah. And I mean, you see stories all the time where it’s like you just had your baby and six weeks later or however many weeks later or months later, you find yourself pregnant. There’s an ob, GYN, who’s on social media, Dr. Allie, and she got pregnant really soon after she had her baby, and, and it was unexpected.

[00:04:50] Now. Things happen. Again, you can get pregnant while you’re on birth control. So, it’s never 100% guaranteed. And, yeah, you’re right. Like I think even people who think about pregnancy all the time and think about their family and all of this all the time still can become unexpectedly pregnant. And I think that’s hard for people to wrap their minds around. They’re like, well, obviously if you weren’t using protection or weren’t doing X, Y, Z, you’re gonna be pregnant. Well, that’s not the case for everybody. And yeah, there can be that initial response of overwhelm, especially if you didn’t expect it to happen so quick. I mean, I have friends who were like, yeah, I mean, I feel like it’s gonna take us like six months to a year to get pregnant. Well, then it happens and your timeline shifts, right? not in control of that.

[00:05:32] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: And, we tried for two to three years to get pregnant with my last baby. And number three, and, after a while you’re like, well, this probably isn’t gonna happen. And I was just about ready to turn the baby factory off. Because again, I had a kid going to kindergarten and I was like, maybe it’s just time to move on with our lives.

[00:05:47] And, got pregnant. And then you’re like, oh my gosh, I actually am pregnant now. What am I gonna do? And you freak out a little bit. Like, I think so many people have these feelings and then are thinking no one else has these feelings. No one ever, everyone ever talks about how you’re like, oh, it took me three years to get pregnant, but now I’m like freaking out inside that I’m pregnant, even though I was trying to do this for so long.

[00:06:07] Erin Galloway: Yeah. The reality sets in, like I planned both of my pregnancies. They happen pretty quickly, and I think with both, I still had those moments of. Okay. Life is gonna change, especially with the first, I remember I, I think I was like three months pregnant, and I remember calling my sister sobbing because I was like, what did I do?

[00:06:24] Like we had, you know, been married a long time and we were just, we weren’t in the season of life that we wanted kids at that time. And then we decided, okay, this is the time, now or never, I mean, I feel like there’s never the right time to have kids. And, well, we made that decision and then it was like, okay, life is changing.

[00:06:39] What does this look like? Did I actually even think about what this is gonna look like. And I think that’s totally normal. And we’ve had clients who come to us and say, Yeah I thought I was ready for this and I feel like I’m not ready. And I think a lot of that is totally, it’s totally normal and natural to be like, oh, life is changing because it is.

[00:06:56] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I love that you guys run a whole community around this because it’s sort of like the unspoken thing about how so many people have unplanned pregnancies. So many people have very surprised pregnancies. So many people have pregnancies that they feel conflicted about inside and people just don’t talk about it ’cause it this, like we’re talking about postpartum anxiety and depression.

[00:07:16] But I think this is an area that we really don’t talk about, that people have conflicting feelings about pregnancy and that’s okay.

[00:07:24] Erin Galloway: I completely agree. And you know, when unexpected pregnancy is a risk factor for perinatal mood and anxiety disorder. So those are things people don’t know. And we recently had our former director of communications on the podcast to talk about mental health during pregnancy and postpartum. And she shared like, that was, that was me.

[00:07:43] That, that I hit all the risk factors for that and that’s why I experienced such significant depression during my pregnancy. And, so I think those are just important things to know.

[00:07:52] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Okay. So what are some feelings, since you have a whole community about this, I’d love that you’ll be able to, like a broad spectrum of people. How can that affect your pregnancy? Like what do people describe moving through pregnancy?

[00:08:05] Erin Galloway: Yeah, I mean, I think it can completely shift how you feel about the pregnancy, how you feel about your current life situation, how you feel about your partner. I think there are a lot of emotions that come with that. I think it can start by feeling very conflicted. Maybe you’re feeling numb or confused. I mean, we have stress responses for a reason and. We have these responses to pregnancy, so that could look like being numb, feeling confused, feeling very overwhelmed, and not, not being able to kind of even acknowledge the pregnancy. People feel that they’re not excited. That is really hard for people to overcome. They’re like, everybody elsewhere is so excited about everything. But I just don’t feel that excited. I think that’s okay. I’m not an overly excited person like with, with that kinda stuff. And so I almost felt like I feel weird that I’m not like jumping for joy and talking about this constantly. I just felt like I was weird for that. And then even like really not understanding why people aren’t excited for them, or maybe there’s just a response that they don’t get. I think those are unmet expectations that we have when you think, oh, my partner’s gonna be really excited and they’re not. Or their initial reaction is not great. Or a friend or sister, brother, parent, like, I think. When you get a response, that’s not exactly what you expected. I think that’s hard to process. It could also just feel like you’re being knocked off your feet. I think it just stops you in your track. So it doesn’t matter if you were planning to have kids, eventually never planned to have kids or didn’t have plan to have more kids. We see that a lot just stop you, help you pause, and you’re like wondering, what is this gonna do to my life?

[00:09:41] Like how is this gonna affect my career? What about my education, financial stability? What does this mean for my other kids? Like all of these questions come in. And so you’re just wondering like, okay, how is this impacting my relationship? What does this look like for my own identity as a mom, but as an individual? And what, what changes are gonna happen to my independence and what life looks like if I don’t have any kids? So just think there’s logistical things that come up in that response of like, what are we gonna do with this? But I also think there’s just emotional loss that can come up, and I don’t think that’s acknowledged.

[00:10:13] And I think for some people that does mean like grieving some of that.

[00:10:17] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I wanna touch back on grief in a second, but I loved how you mentioned other people’s reaction because especially let’s say you have a boyfriend that you haven’t known very long, and then you tell your mom that you’re pregnant. And she maybe doesn’t have the reaction that you’re hoping for. As a mom of some adult kids, I can totally understand that. They’re not prepared for it either.

[00:10:36] They weren’t even thinking it, they might not even think that pregnancy was an option for you.

[00:10:40] So I think we gotta be forgiving of other people’s reaction and don’t take a whole lot from it because. We’re just, everybody’s human. We’re all just living our little human lives over here.

[00:10:49] And it just because your mom’s not excited for you initially doesn’t mean she can’t, like 360 turn, because I’ve had friends whose kids have had unplanned pregnancies and man, they love those grand babies so much. So don’t think that that’s gonna be your reaction forever, or if your reaction is gonna extend to your pregnancy journey.

[00:11:05] It doesn’t mean that, because I think, I don’t know if people listening or people of faith or people of like God’s plan or, just like life plans in general. But I think a large part of the reason we’re pregnant for so long is to give our minds time to wrap around the fact that we’re going to have a baby, to prepare for the baby, to prepare a relationship in our home.

[00:11:24] And, obviously the baby has to grow inside and all those different kinds of things, but sometimes when I hear about animals that have like a six week gestation, I’m like, oh, I’m glad. I’m glad we had more time than that to really wrap my mind around this. I’m glad I didn’t have 40 kittens, right.

[00:11:37] Erin Galloway: Yeah. Yeah. I think that’s a great point. I think I always tell clients you can’t control how someone reacts, you can take control how you process it and kind of what you accept into your own world basically. And, remember if this is a shock to you, it’s, it might be a shock to other people too. And people say stupid things, that is the reality. When I remember just early on in pregnancy, when people were saying things to me, I’m like. This is accurate. People actually say the stupidest things to you when you’re pregnant and postpartum and as you’re, you know, being a parent. It’s just something that happens and I don’t know what shifts and I think people have really good intentions and they just wanna be helpful, but it’s not always helpful.

[00:12:18] So that’s kind of on our end to set boundaries, but also be able to kind of process some of that.

[00:12:23] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: and allow grace for that initial reaction because, as unexpected as it is for you, it may be three times more unexpected for them.

[00:12:31] Erin Galloway: Yeah.

[00:12:31] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Okay. Going back to grief though, I think it’s so valid to grieve, your pre-pregnancy life, your pre-pregnancy body, your life before you had to have all these different thoughts because,

[00:12:42] Erin Galloway: Yeah.

[00:12:42] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: before you got pregnant, you gotta think about like, what am I gonna wear?

[00:12:46] Where am I gonna party at this weekend? And then all of a sudden you know, this baby is coming, car seats, strollers, prenatal appointments, prenatal vitamins, trying to keep them down, trying not to throw up. What do people say about all that?

[00:12:58] Erin Galloway: Yeah. I think first, like grief is a natural response to change. And an unexpected pregnancy is a huge change. So, there’s a couple different types of grief that we see often with unexpected pregnancy. So ambiguous loss is the kind of loss that feels very unclear or unresolved. It’s just like this emotional pain that comes when there’s really not a lot of closure. Maybe you’re grieving something that doesn’t really have a name to it, or maybe it’s something no one’s gonna acknowledge as a loss. So that could look like grieving the version of your life you thought you’d have in this season. The plans and timeline you had in place. I’ve had clients who found out they’re pregnant and they had these plans this weekend to do something that you can’t do while you’re pregnant. That’s okay to grieve that, like that’s a sudden change for you. you might be grieving the emotional or practical support that you’d expected from your village and you didn’t receive it. You might be grieving your freedom or flexibility or the identity you had before this moment. I mean, we talk about at SheMight, that we don’t believe in the false dichotomy that you can have either your career or something, or a child, we believe you can be a great mom and you can have those things if that’s what you desire and that’s what you wanna pursue.

[00:14:04] And so yes, it takes sacrifice. We know your timeline might adjust, but there’s grief in that. There’s grief in processing that. And then I think when we think of your, like pregnancies, pregnancies have unexpected things happen all the time. We talked about this a little bit before that maybe you turned out to be high risk.

[00:14:21] And you didn’t expect that. And you’re grieving what you thought your pregnancy or your delivery would look like. and so when we’re talking about ambiguous loss, we’re also talking about disenfranchised grief. So, like I said. Ambiguous loss is kind of that without clarity. And then disenfranchised grief is the kind of mourning and grief that society is not really recognizing or validating.

[00:14:41] So you might feel that because people are like, well, how did you get pregnant? I mean, you know how you got pregnant, right? Like there’s no such thing as an unexpected pregnancy. That’s what a lot of people can say, but you might feel that, like, sadness that’s really hard to explain, but is real. And it’s dismissed by people in your life or just dismissed by kind of society.

[00:15:00] So I think that could look like grieving something that’s very intangible. Like your future that suddenly looks very different for you. You can still achieve those things, but your timeline looks different. Or, like I said before, maybe your partner. You thought would respond in a certain way and they didn’t. And so that’s impacting how you feel about yourself, how you feel about this pregnancy, and how you feel about your partner. And then, like I said, just kind of what your family looks like. I think they’re, these could not seem like losses to other people, but they’re real to you. They’re still heavy and they matter to you.

[00:15:32] So I think makes it really hard to process that when you feel like. Nobody else is seeing me. Nobody else is feeling what I’m feeling. And it can really make you feel isolated. So I encourage clients and, you know, members of our community to lean into that and process what they’re feeling. Even if it feels silly, it’s real to you, like, and it’s valid for you to process that.

[00:15:52] So, at the end of the day, you can find community, seek out support from, you know, mental health professionals, find a support group. Yeah, join a community and find people who will be able to kind of sit with you in that.

[00:16:04] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I was thinking that we probably don’t share this much on social media because ultimately I probably wouldn’t want my kids to know that. I was like not super excited that they were coming.

[00:16:12] Erin Galloway: Yeah.

[00:16:13] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I think it’s more okay. To say, postpartums horrible because everyone understands you’re not sleeping right?

[00:16:18] So it’s not the baby that you didn’t want, it’s the after effects versus when you’re like, I’m pregnant and I’m not jazzed about it. That ultimately is kind of like, and I’m not jazzed about you.

[00:16:29] Erin Galloway: Yeah.

[00:16:30] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: And so that’s probably why we don’t see people talking about it on social media, and I think that that’s valid.

[00:16:34] That’s probably not something that I want held for the time and all eternity for my kids to know those kind of things. Sometimes I see pregnancy announcements where people are just devastated and they filmed it on TikTok and I’m always like, oh, that’s kind of a lot for your kid later on.

[00:16:48] Erin Galloway: Yes.

[00:16:49] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I, that’s such a valid feeling, right?

[00:16:51] So if you wanna film a TikTok, I’m here to watch it for you, but at the same point, I totally understand why it’s not something that you wanna go shout from the rooftops. But I bet if you bring it up to your mom community, your friend community, especially people who’ve had babies before, you’re gonna hear a lot of Oh, me too.

[00:17:07] Because it’s something that a lot of people feel, but we don’t wanna have it in the canals of time.

[00:17:12] Erin Galloway: Yeah, and I think there’s just unexpected things with pregnancy. Like don’t like being pregnant. I had very difficult pregnancies and so I wasn’t like joyful and happy. And I have friends who experience similar things and I’m like, it’s okay to not like being pregnant.

[00:17:29] That doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s really hard. It is really hard to be pregnant. It’s you’re growing a person, like taking all of you basically to do this while you’re also doing your other things. And so like it’s valid to not be totally like having this unicorn pregnancy where you’re like, I’m just glowing and all of this.

[00:17:48] And so I think part of that comes into that, of like grieving what you thought pregnancy would be like for you and what you had hoped you’d feel about it. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad person and you’re not gonna be an amazing mom. It just means that this is really hard.

[00:18:01] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I would guess there’s absolutely no correlation towards like at a 5-year-old, like, ’cause we’re looking at kids when they have memories and they care about things. A five year old mom versus, comparing them to people who are excited about their pregnancy or loved their pregnancy versus people who didn’t.

[00:18:15] I bet there is no correlation between the two except for obviously socioeconomic issues or things like that. So, I know there were so many things that I was worried that my pregnancy would affect me moving forward and ultimately absolutely didn’t. I made way worse choices as a mom with teenagers than I did with those, so,

[00:18:34] Okay.

[00:18:35] So I wanted to talk about like, what are some other like areas that you notice people getting sort of caught off guard by the grief or stuff as they move forward through pregnancy and ultimately having the baby?

[00:18:46] Erin Galloway: I mean, I think after you come to terms with this is happening, this is my life right now. I think things can still shift in unexpected ways. And we’ve talked about this a little bit. You could be told that you’re high risk or that there’s some kind of complication, even if you’re a healthy person. Or you might experience a pregnancy filled with every single symptom imaginable. I had a friend that this happened to. And all I could just hope for for her is that like, man, I just want your birth to be so much easier than what your pregnancy has been. Because I’m just like, sometimes people get like every symptom imaginable and it can seem like at every appointment brings a new surprise and that. That like those surprises are considered quote unquote normal for pregnancy. I just saw something you had posted about that of like feeling like you’re just being told everything’s normal. Well, how do you actually process that and figure out like how to make it better for yourself too, because obviously our doctors can’t solve all of our problems.

[00:19:40] Like it’s, that’s the reality of pregnancy. And so I think when you’re experiencing unexpected things during pregnancy, you’re high risk. You have things that you didn’t expect to happen, that can still kind of catch you off guard. there’s just a lot of emotional ups and downs with that. I experienced that with my first pregnancy that it seemed like everything was going wrong with it. so it was hard to imagine that things weren’t gonna keep going wrong. ,

[00:20:09] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: And I think during pregnancy, it’s the first time a lot of people are managing healthcare in general because you’ve been a young, healthy person up until this point, and now all of a sudden, because pregnancy sort of ages your body like 20 to 30 years, just because of all the strain on it. And so suddenly you’re looking at healthcare like a 60-year-old versus a 30-year-old.

[00:20:28] And so it changes things night and day. And I’m here to tell you that, you know, after pregnancy, most often, you again are a healthy young person, but healthcare can be a lot during pregnancy that you weren’t prepared for.

[00:20:41] Erin Galloway: Super overwhelming. People don’t expect bills to come in. I remember I thought, oh yeah, like I’ll probably just have to pay my deductible. And no, I had to pay a certain amount for my prenatal visits and I didn’t expect that. If you’re not told, you’re not gonna know and if you don’t do the research. So, that was unexpected for me. I think relationships can be unexpected. People will continue to have responses for things that you don’t expect. Maybe this surprise you in a positive way, but sometimes it’s a negative thing. And so it’s just kind of processing that, figuring out what your relationships look like. Relationships change as you become a mom. I was one of the first people to become a mom in my friend group. And, so my kids have a lot of incredible aunts. But that was kind of an interesting transition of like, what priorities shift and you’re gonna see that. And, so that’s, I think, unexpected for people. And then, you know, when you get to the point where you’re having your baby. Your delivery, there are things that will probably come up that are unexpected for you. You haven’t experienced this before. and so that’s really hard. And then some things come up and you could have a traumatic delivery or a bad experience that you have to process and heal from. I think we talked about it a little when we were on the SheMight podcast that feeling like you’re not bonding with your baby right away or you don’t like immediately like feel that. And that’s kind of the expected thing. I think there are just so many things that come up in postpartum that think, oh, like we have this newborn bubble. And, it’s just gonna be wonderful. It can be really hard. It is really hard. Even if you’re having the best experience, it’s still hard because you’re learning how to take care of another human.

[00:22:16] And you’re taking care of your baby and navigating feeding and health and healing yourself. After a long nine months of pregnancy.

[00:22:26] It

[00:22:27] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: is a lot to take in. And I think the trap we get stuck in with these unplanned pregnancies is thinking that everyone else, everyone else is feeling something different than you. You know, they all. Immediately bonded with their baby. But because this was an unplanned pregnancy, I didn’t feel that rush of love right as they put baby on my chest.

[00:22:44] And I’m here to tell you that there is a wide variety of feelings, no matter how you got pregnant, if it was a, you know, an intended syringe pregnancy or an IVF, right? Where maybe it’s your sixth cycle and you’re just about ready to give up. All of these things have unplanned emotions about ’em, and everybody feels a different way.

[00:23:03] And I’m also here to tell you that as a nurse who sees people give birth in the labor room, when people call their sister an hour later with their birth story and I’m like cleaning up the placenta and all this different kind of stuff, when they tell the story, I’m like, well, that is not how that happened at all.

[00:23:18] They’ll be like, oh. It was like, absolutely. It was like, no pain at all. And I’m like, girl, you were pulling my hand off screaming. You know, an hour ago, and I’m like, that’s cool. Like, because we’re all just getting it filtered through people’s brains after the time has gone on. Most people don’t get to see, you know, that baby put right to chest or whatever.

[00:23:38] But as somebody who’s seen it thousands of times, I’m telling you there are thousands of different ways to feel of your baby, during pregnancy, after delivery, five years down the road. Yeah.

[00:23:49] Erin Galloway: Yeah. Well, and it’s incredible how our brain. Says like, oh, we’ll turn that piece off and that’s why we have more kids. It’s ’cause we forget about those really hard things and like you get to a point where you’re like, oh, I’m sleeping again. We could have another. And so it, it’s just, yeah, I think, yeah, you’re right.

[00:24:06] I think you, you’re going to grieve different pieces of your pregnancy experience or just have to process those things in those moments where it doesn’t feel joyful. It doesn’t feel like this is what you dreamed of, or you’re confused or fearful of something. Or sometimes it comes out that it brings up some past trauma or some stress that you’re experiencing.

[00:24:25] And I think that’s okay to have, and that’s why there are supports out there. That’s where there are mental health professionals that specifically work, with pregnant and postpartum women. And, that’s why, you know, there are communities out there so that you can put it online and say, Hey, you know, this is what I’m feeling.

[00:24:42] Does anyone feel the same? And feel like, oh, I’m not alone in this. Like I would say every single post that I see in our community, there’s at least one person that says, oh no, I felt that way too. Like that’s, it’s normal. I mean, you still need that support, but it’s normal. Like you’re not a bad person for feeling that way or having that emotion.

[00:24:58] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: And the other thing you had mentioned is to, you know, some people have a a positive reaction when you have your baby. They’re so excited for you versus the, and we’re always gonna glom onto the people that have the negative reaction, right? That’s what our brain is gonna fixate on, oh, she wasn’t happy for me, blah, blah, blah.

[00:25:13] But as a mom, the more we can get and like noticing when we have those positive things. Because as a new mom, young, I was like, I hate a lot of this. Right? But you know, all of a sudden we’d be dragging the wagon to the bookmobile and I remember thinking, this is what I always dreamed motherhood would be like.

[00:25:30] Right. And I was like, I have got to savor this moment because I didn’t think it would be smelling like spit up. I didn’t think that it would be so sleepless, so much crying from both the baby and me. And so noticing those positive times, can be super, super helpful. And of course that’s what people share on social media is them having that time where like, this is what I always thought it was gonna be.

[00:25:52] And that doesn’t, that’s one social media image in a lifetime of, man, this is way different and worse than what I thought it was gonna be.

[00:26:01] Erin Galloway: Yeah, I think we hear that a lot and I always tell people to try to like remember back to before you were pregnant, what are things that like brought you joy in those moments? If this, this current moment’s not bringing you joy in like a little bit of lightness, what are some things you can try? For me that was making sure that I was getting outside and going on walks, especially with my first ’cause I had pretty significant postpartum anxiety that I wasn’t acknowledging at the time, even though I work in this. And it took me probably a couple years to really acknowledge how deeply I was struggling. And so I think just remember those things that actually helped in the past, and try it. It never hurts to try it. It could not work and then you have to find something else. But yeah, my daughter is one in nine days and I’m in the space of like, oh my gosh, that really did go by like fast. Way faster than the first.

[00:26:51] I think it’s ’cause when you have a toddler and a baby, there’s like a million things happening. But, man, I’m looking back to this year and like remembering like, okay, this is, this is crazy how fast this went. And so it, it really is true. Like, I think you’re right, like trying to find those positive things, even taking one good win from the day or one positive thing that happened.

[00:27:10] Even if that’s something that seems silly, like, oh, I actually put the dishes away today from the dishwasher. Or I got outside, or I got dressed, took a shower, read a book. Like anything is a win in my book during that season. So take the steps to try to find those little things. And I think that can help you process those hard moments.

[00:27:30] True.

[00:27:30] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I think that’s true, and I think a lot of times people are like, well, I can’t take the baby. I, I love to go on a walk, but I can’t take the baby. And I’m here to tell you that there is a lot that you can haul your baby with you, especially a walk. I mean,

[00:27:40] Erin Galloway: yeah.

[00:27:41] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: babies, love walks. So I’m here for that one.

[00:27:43] But if there’s something that you loved before, unless it’s like going to the ballet, probably don’t want to take your baby to that. There’s a lot that you can bring your baby to. You know, let’s say you loved going to the library, take your baby to the, the infant thing at the library. There’s so many things that you can bring your baby to, even though it’s gonna feel overwhelming, give it a shot.

[00:28:02] ‘Cause you sort of have to learn how to like, manage doing things with your baby. But there’s a lot you can do with your baby.

[00:28:08] Erin Galloway: Yeah. And I think learning how to best communicate. We have some really good communication tips, that we have on our website, like as a resource. But like it’s all in how you communicate because sometimes you may have a need and you’re not communicating it. To get the response that you actually need.

[00:28:25] So I think, being able to communicate well and we, like I said, I can send that downloadable too, like learning how to say things and being specific about what you need, in that season can help so that you’re able to get that support and that time to just find those wins and kind of take care of yourself.

[00:28:41] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: especially from a partner. Because the other thing is you’ve got this partner who’s grieving their life, right? And so both of you can be on a train to destruction together. And so, that gets extra tricky because it is definitely happening to both of you. And so, looking for outside supports, his mom, your mom, and allowing them to come help you out can be really helpful as well.

[00:29:03] Erin Galloway: Yeah. And if you don’t have that village, like I, I totally see that all the time is that families aren’t as nearby anymore. And so, yeah, that’s why sometimes it’s hard, but we have to seek out that village and that community. And there are a lot of great groups out there, all across the United States, that you can join. And you have to find what, like fits you, fits your background, your values, your needs. But there are people out there. And, there are online communities out there, whether that’s through social media or something like the SheMight Discord community, that is kind of a start to building that village

[00:29:34] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: So what can people get from SheMight? Tell us more about what you guys can offer to people if they’ve had an unplanned pregnancy or are just feeling the grief of like, suddenly this seems more unplanned than I thought it was gonna be. What can they get from you guys?

[00:29:49] Erin Galloway: Yeah, so SheMight started as an online blog basically. And so we have a resource library with over 150 articles and downloads that are just kind of to help you walk on your journey. So there’s different resources on there, from you know, Pregnancy stuff to maternity leave. We’re a go-to resource for maternity leave planning, and we would love to support in that.

[00:30:11] We do have a coaching program just to kind of support, helping through that unexpected pregnancy. And yeah, we have our online Discord community. It’s just kind of a space where you can engage with people kind of walking the same journey, share your experience, you know, build connections, ask questions. So that’s our online community. And, we have a couple new things that we’re launching soon we’ll be offering a grant program. Most of the women that we serve are, above the poverty line, and so they’re often not eligible for any government assistance. But we know that just because you’re above the poverty line doesn’t mean, that you don’t need some support and that one big expense can’t really break things for you. And so, we’re offering, a grant program coming soon to just kind of help make the early motherhood journey a little bit easier. And so, that information will be out soon. But yeah, we’re just a community on social media and discord that wants to kind of walk with people on their unexpected journeys.

[00:31:07] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I think that’s so awesome. I’m gonna put links for you guys, in the show description or down below if you guys are watching on YouTube. But i’m so glad that we’re starting to have this conversation so that people can understand that what they’re feeling isn’t unusual. And they can look just like every other mom that they see at the playground.

[00:31:23] I think everyone envisions themselves as this person who just like Miss Hannigan from, Annie, who’s like “little girls. Little girls.” And that’s not gonna be the case. Those feelings are not gonna extend to every day for the rest of your life.

[00:31:34] Erin Galloway: Yeah. And the more we talk about it, the less shame there is to it. I always tell clients like, shame is the place you don’t wanna go. And so I think we can break the stigma around it and just talk about it and normalize it. Half of the pregnancies in the United States are unexpected. Like people can feel like, oh, I’m actually not alone in this.

[00:31:52] And know that like people are out there to kind of walk with you. And there’s more people out there that are experiencing this than you probably know.

[00:31:59] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Yes. And even beyond that, there’s a lot of people who are like, oh my. Gosh, now I’m pregnant. Even if it was planned, they were off birth control. They were trying, they were, IV fing it. They were spending thousands of dollars for this baby. You can still have a feeling like, oh my gosh, what have I done to myself?

[00:32:17] Erin Galloway: I completely agree.

[00:32:18] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Okay. Erin, thank you so much for coming on. I hope this information’s helpful for people. I hope people will reach out to SheMight ’cause I think that’s such a valuable opportunity. And best of luck to you guys moving forward. I hope that this just grows and grows and people can learn that they’re not alone.

[00:32:33] Erin Galloway: Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. It’s been an honor.

[00:32:35] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Okay. I hope you guys enjoyed that episode. I just think people need to understand how many people have these same feelings. And like I said before, we’re not talking about them because it’s not something we really want our kids to end up knowing later on, which I totally understand, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t talk about it in private, even if we’re not sharing it on social.

[00:32:53] So check out SheMight. It sounds like they have so many good resources for you guys. I’m grateful that we have companies like them that can help us out.

[00:33:00] We’ll see you next time on the Pullling Curls podcast.

[00:33:02] Thanks for joining us on the Pulling Curls podcast today. If you like today’s episode, please consider reviewing, sharing, subscribing. It really helps our podcast grow. Thank you.

Keywords:

unplanned pregnancy, unexpected pregnancy, perinatal mental health, emotional response to pregnancy, pregnancy grief, ambiguous loss, disenfranchised grief, perinatal mood disorders, maternal anxiety, postpartum depression, pregnancy community support, partner reactions, family reactions to pregnancy, pregnancy and career, maternity leave planning, pregnancy timeline, birth control failure, high risk pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, prenatal class, pregnancy and identity, adjusting to motherhood, parenting support groups, pregnancy support communities, online pregnancy resources, She Might, Pulling Curls Podcast, Pregnancy Nurse, relationships during pregnancy, financial concerns with pregnancy, pregnancy after infertility

The post Unexpected Pregnancy: You’re Not Alone – Processing Grief and Finding Support appeared first on Pulling Curls.

Really quick — you may not be aware of some of the changes you should make with your diet — so grab my safe eating guide right here:

Oh, and who the heck am I to know all this? Hi, I’m Hilary — many people also know me as The Pregnancy Nurse®. I’ve been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of labor and delivery experience. I’ve also been pregnant 3 times myself so I know how magical this all is!

Ok, let’s jump into those symptoms!

4 Early Pregnancy Symptoms You Might Be Missing

Bloody Noses

This one really caught me off guard at work one day as I was working on charting (we paper charted back then) and a drop fell on my flowsheet….

Because of all the extra blood flow that your body starts to accumulate, plus some dry hospital air I frequently had bloody noses at work.

It’s a weird one, but did remind me my body was already making changes!

Smelling ALL the Smells

Ugh, my husband — any time working outside and I was like TO THE SHOWER. It was just all the smells.

Luckily, he didn’t take it personally and knew that I had more blood flow to my nose, and my senses were heightened to protect baby — it wasn’t just him.

Having a partner who knows what’s going on helps with this a lot. Get them prepared for all of it in here.

Your Mouth Tastes Funny

Food tasted a little different, but I mostly noticed my MOUTH tasted different. Again, I think this is from our senses being heightened, and more blood flow — possibly hormones too, but this one isn’t unusual and catches a lot of people off-guard!

Changing Colors

No, I’m not talking about the foliage — I’m talking about parts of your body. They may start to change colors:

• Spots on your face
• A line from your belly button towards your lady bits
• Changes in your breast colors and texture
• Your lady bits themselves can change colors

Sometimes these colors go back to “normal” after, and sometimes they don’t.

As long as they’re not coming with pain or numbness you’re just experiencing the magic of pregnancy.

Amazing, right?

I’d love to join you for the rest of your pregnancy. I can tailor it right to where you are — so come join me!

AND if you’re a bit further along, you might like my insider tips to labor like a pro. They’re great mindset tips to get you through the rest of your pregnancy & birth! Totally free!

The post Early Pregnancy Symptoms You Might Be Missing appeared first on Pulling Curls.

Being pregnant is SO exciting, but it is a whole new world of information. As a pregnant woman you don’t want to miss any important medical information — which is awesome, I am totally here for you!

Hi, I’m Hilary — The Pregnancy Nurse . I have been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of OB nursing experience, I am also the curly head behind Pulling Curls and The Online Prenatal Class for Couples. ​ Follow me for more positive pregnancy & labor tips! ⁣

Me and my 20 years of experience are HERE for you during this pregnancy.  Come join me as I walk you through my best tips for your pregnancy & delivery (you’ll pick your week of pregnancy so I can give you info tailored JUST for you)

Pregnancy Calculator & Calendar

First off, let’s get you some solid dates. I bet your first question was “when am I going to have this baby?” And that’s SO important. This pregnancy calculator will give you so much awesome general information as you go through your pregnancy stages.

As I said you do need to know the first day of your last period, and then it is going to calculate your gestational age, due date, your # of weeks of pregnancy, and when you should be planning for important tests.

PREGNANCY CALCULATOR

Enter the date of the first day of your last menstrual period (LMP):

Year: 2025 2026 2027 Month: January February March April May June July August September October November December Day:

DUE DATE RESULT

Probable date of conception:

 

Foetal Age Today:

 

Best date range for NT scan:

 

(12 weeks 3 days to 13 weeks 3 days)

Morphology Scan Date:

 

(19 weeks)

First Heart Tones by Doppler:

 

(11 to 12 weeks)

Best time to evaluate cervical length in patient with risk factors:

 

Best time for routine anatomy ultrasound:

 

(18 to 20 weeks)

Estimated Due Date:

 

 

Please note that ABSOLUTELY NO data from this calculator is kept (which means it also goes away when you leave this page) — here’s a sample of what you’ll learn:

• Probable date of conception
• Fetal Age Today
• Best date range for NT scan (the nuchal translusencey test)
• Morphology Scan Date (when they could check for gender on an ultrasound)
• First Heart Tones by Doppler (when you can be sure that baby has a heartbeat)
• Best time to evaluate cervical length in patient with risk factors
• Best time for routine anatomy ultrasound (usually done at the same time as the other ultrasound mentioned in the US)
• Estimated Due Date
• Today, age of your baby is….

Pretty cool, right?

This pregnancy calendar goes hand in hand with the best pregnancy planner. You can already start marking dates and times you need to remember to do things for your baby!

You’ll notice that pregnancy calculator gives you a ton of information about the stage of pregnancy that you’re in.  Once you have a positive pregnancy test (wondering when the best time of day to take a pregnancy test is?) it is important to call your health care provider (or figure out a provider) to get your prenatal care scheduled.  Your little bean can use a watchful eye as they grow in your womb.

Pro Tip: Home pregnancy tests are just about as accurate as ones at your doctor’s office and I prefer the dollar store ones because they’re SO cheap (and accurate). I used them myself! {see my “online pregnancy test” here}

It is important to call, but most often providers don’t schedule your first prenatal visit until week 6-12.

As a note, that while the date of your last period can give you a basic week of your pregnancy, many providers like to have an early ultrasound exam to both check for the size of the baby (giving you a better estimated due date) and also for baby’s heartbeat. Your menstrual cycle length may vary from the “average” (I ovulate very late) so that can change things.

Also, remember, that “due date” isn’t an exact due date — it’s an estimated date that is likely off by 1-2 weeks. So, JUST because you get to your due date and baby isn’t born, you could still have a couple of weeks left!

I have a whole post on how weeks of months of pregnancy (and trimesters) in my post: How many weeks is six months of pregnancy.

Ok, let’s quickly go through the trimesters of pregnancy, and what to expect.

First Trimester: Weeks 0-14

Trimesters are counted from the start of your last menstrual period (are you sensing how important that date is). Remember, your fallopian tube doesn’t release an egg (that is later fertilized) until about 2 weeks after that period — so you’re not even actually PREGNANT until week 2 or so, but that’s how we count it.

It is important that you take a prenatal vitamin as soon as you find out you’re pregnant. Actually, all women who have any chance of pregnancy should be taking a prenatal vitamin, as studies have shown that it can prevent issues with the spinal cord development and birth defects.

There are lots of early signs of pregnancy that you could be experiencing, due to changes in the pregnancy hormones in your body. These can include nosebleeds, morning sickness, tenderness of your breasts and more. I outline all of that in my early pregnancy symptoms post.

Second Trimester: Weeks 14-26

At the start of the second trimester, pregnant women tend to start to feel better from the morning sickness. At this stage fetal development is in full gear. You’ll likely see some weight gain and a baby bump will be more pronounced.

You might even start to feel the baby kick and move around 20 weeks. It can be hard since when people feel the baby move is based on a variety of things including where the placenta is on the uterus.

There are a few pregnancy tests you’ll take during this trimester (including the glucose/diabetes test), but it is the most relaxed of all the trimesters. A great time to think of some baby names, or talk over baby showers with friends.

Third Trimester Weeks 27-40+

At the start of your third trimester of pregnancy, your baby is pretty well formed and just growing inside of you. It’s important that you stay very hydrated during this pregnancy (I do have a whole post on if drinking gatorade during pregnancy is OK and all the other fluids you can use to hydrate).

At this point, you may have more testing. Possibly more ultrasounds, or tests like the BPP or checking amniotic fluid levels (that means how much water is in the amniotic sac). Make sure that you keep scheduled appointments with your healthcare provider.

I just did a podcast all about ultrasound testing like BPP:

I actually talk all about these tests in my Free Beginning Prenatal Class that tens of thousands of women have just loved.

Either way, what an EXCITING time of life. Yes, your pregnancy is likely met with many emotions which you will have a good amount of time to deal with as you progress. Make sure you find a good provider, and helpful information like Pulling Curls & the Pregnancy Nurse to help make this journey as easy as possible!

The post Pregnancy Calendar by Week: Your calculator to your pregnancy progress appeared first on Pulling Curls.

Hi, I’m Hilary — many people know me as The Pregnancy Nurse . I have been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of OB nursing experience, I am also the curly head behind this website Pulling Curls and The Online Prenatal Class for Couples. ​ I also have a DEEP love for my planner and all things memories. So, I’m a great resource for you!

I have a printable pregnancy calendar that you’ll just love.

It is easy to personalize to just what you need (and only print what you need, which is a great way to save extra cash on it). It comes in both a simple or a vintage option — and can be a keepsake for years to come.

When can you find out your due date?

Most often you can find out your due date once you have a positive pregnancy test (which can be done about the time you have missed a period).

When it comes to finding out your due date, the most important thing to remember is that it’s just an estimate. Generally, a due date is determined by counting 40 weeks from the first day of your last menstrual period (LMP). This method allows for a range of dates rather than an exact one. However, if you have irregular periods or don’t remember the date of your LMP, doctors can also use measurements from an early ultrasound to determine a more precise due date.

I have a whole post that talks about how many weeks six month of pregnancy is (and how months compare to weeks).

Other factors such as your fertility history and any medical conditions that could affect your pregnancy may also be taken into account when estimating the date. Overall, finding out your due date is usually based on an estimated week range for when you can expect to give birth, although it’s not always exact.

Also, if you have an appointment with your provider they will likely order an early ultrasound to check your due date. Babies all grow about the same those first few weeks, so it’s easy to check how big baby is and how far along you are if you do it early on (usually before 10 weeks). I talk more about this in a recent podcast on ultrasounds.

How can I find out my due date?

If you want to find out your due date, there are a few tools available online to help you estimate when your baby is due.

One such tool my due date calculator (see it below). This is a tool that helps you estimate your pregnancy due date based on the first day of your last menstrual period. To use it, simply enter this information into the tool and it will provide an estimated due date, plus important dates not to be missed in your pregnancy.

This can be very helpful in planning for the arrival of your baby, as well as helping to give an idea of how far along you are in your pregnancy. Remember that this is just an estimate; exact dates may vary depending on when conception occurred or other factors.

Pregnancy Due Date Calculator

Enter the first day of your menstrual period to find out your due date and track your pregnancy and important milestones here:

PREGNANCY CALCULATOR

Enter the date of the first day of your last menstrual period (LMP):

Year: 2025 2026 2027 Month: January February March April May June July August September October November December Day:

DUE DATE RESULT

Probable date of conception:

 

Foetal Age Today:

 

Best date range for NT scan:

 

(12 weeks 3 days to 13 weeks 3 days)

Morphology Scan Date:

 

(19 weeks)

First Heart Tones by Doppler:

 

(11 to 12 weeks)

Best time to evaluate cervical length in patient with risk factors:

 

Best time for routine anatomy ultrasound:

 

(18 to 20 weeks)

Estimated Due Date:

 

 

What does a pregnancy calendar actually do?

A pregnancy calendar is a type of calendar specifically designed to track the changes and development of a baby during a pregnancy. This type of calendar provides weekly information related to the progress of the baby’s growth and development throughout the nine month span. It can also be used to keep track of other important milestones such as doctor appointments, ultrasounds, and more. In addition to providing weekly updates, many pregnancy calendars offer helpful tips for expecting parents to better prepare them for their new arrival.

With this information and guidance, parents can gain a greater understanding of what each week may bring in terms of physical and emotional changes throughout their pregnancy journey. A pregnancy calendar helps ensure that all necessary preparations are taken in order for an expecting family to have the best experience possible when welcoming their little one into the world.

The best pregnancy planner helps you:

1. Keep track of important memories you want to remember (like firsts, thoughts and feelings and physical changes)
2. Keep track of all the medical things you’ll want to remember for next time (or even just as you’re getting older) — The Pregnancy Nurse knows what you need to remember (a huge perk of my planner).
3. Manage things to do in one spot because placenta brain is real!

Why are pregnancy calendars so popular?

Pregnancy calendars are a popular tool for expecting parents, providing guidance and insight into the baby’s development throughout each stage of the pregnancy. Pregnancy calendars often provide information on what to expect during each week of the pregnancy, as well as tips on how to care for your baby’s health.

The reality is that you likely feel overwhelmed by all there is to do in both creating this baby, and bringing them home!

The calendars are designed to help parents answer questions they may have about their pregnancy, such as what foods to eat, how much exercise is recommended, and when certain tests should be taken. Many pregnancy calendars also feature interactive elements like reminders and tracking tools to help keep track of doctor’s appointments and other important milestones. With so many features available, it’s no wonder why pregnancy calendars are so popular amongst expecting parents!

Get Pregnancy & Parenting Tips In Your Inbox

Join my email list and get just the right pregnancy tips for your stage in the journey:

A Weekly Pregnancy Calendar

A weekly pregnancy calendar is a great tool for those who are expecting. It can help you keep track of your due date and all the important decisions, symptoms, and planning that goes along with it. With a weekly pregnancy calendar you can easily download it online, print it out and write down any notes or information each week as your pregnancy progresses.

You can easily see which week of your pregnancy you are in, as well as what day of the week it is by just looking at the calendar. This way, you can make sure all your decisions and plans are up to date. It is also useful if something changes during your pregnancy such as an appointment or symptom, so you can quickly make a note on the calendar to help remind yourself later on. By using this simple tool, it can help take away some of the stress associated with being pregnant and plan ahead for a new baby’s arrival!

Most often there aren’t day by day pregnancy calendars, because week by week is plenty (and you can always jot down things for the week either way). Most people find a daily pregnancy calendar overwhelming, so I stuck to weekly.

A word on pregnancy calendars

Don’t get so caught-up in the planner that you forget the joy in the journey. Half of the fun is writing down ALL the amazing things you’re feeling, seeing and doing from this new little person that will be in your arms before you know it.

Get the best pregnancy planner here.

The post Printable Pregnancy Calendar appeared first on Pulling Curls.

Hi, I’m Hilary — many people know me as The Pregnancy Nurse . I have been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of OB nursing experience, I am also the curly head behind this website Pulling Curls and The Online Prenatal Class for Couples. ​ I have seen THOUSANDS of pregnant women, and while most of them are much more pregnant you — I have a pretty good idea of those early symptoms (I’ve had 3 kids of my own) too.

I’d love to follow you through your pregnancy, I hope you’ll let me join you right here:

Please remember these are just some good ideas, but any questions — you should talk to your medical provider. If anything about you or your body seems “off” definitely give them a call!

Early Pregnancy Symptoms

These early pregnancy symptoms are NOT a pregnancy test.

If you’ve had a negative test, but are wondering if you could still be pregnant, my friend Katie has a post on negative pregnancy tests, as well as some other early pregnancy symptoms.  I also have a pregnancy calendar that will show you important dates in your pregnacy! AND, I share the best time of day to take a pregnancy test.

Many can come with or without pregnancy, but sometimes, once I have a positive test (as we waited a long time for the last baby at our house) these are reassuring signs (even if they are annoying).  I also have a whole post on what to do when you’re first pregnant that will give you a bit of a to-do list.

Keep in mind that these are normal things to see in early pregnancy, but it’s normal not to have all of them, or even to have none of them.  A positive pregnancy test is your BEST sign, and then hopefully you can see a health care provider and see/hear a heartbeat as that is also a very important thing.

If you don’t have these symptoms, please don’t worry!

However, if anything seems out of the ordinary please do seek medical advice, and remember the information here is for entertainment purposes only.

OH, and be sure to grab the best pregnancy planner. They’re the most fun when you start early and get into the groove of things. I promise you’ll LOVE having all these details next baby!

Nosebleeds During Pregnancy

This seems like an odd one, though — right? While it can be a sign of many things, it can be a sign of early pregnancy (I get them most early in pregnancy, personally).

What causes a nosebleed while pregnant?

The truth is you have more blood flow through all of your body and your nose is an area where tissue can tear or be bothered really easily and create a nosebleed.  Often early in pregnancy you might have some high blood pressure (due to your increased blood volume — your body compensates quickly).  Think of it as poking a hole in a kinked hose!  All of this is from the hormonal changes of pregnancy.

Also, your changing hormone levels can affect blood clotting at certain points of your pregnancy (to help baby grow). So, that can make them more frequent as well.

If you were prone to nosebleeds before, you may be more likely to get them once you are pregnant.

A bloody nose happens when the small blood vessels in your nose or nasal membranes are ruptured.  It can seem like a lot of blood, and the blood can go down the back of your throat into your stomach and make you feel sick. 

You may wonder how to stop a nose bleed during pregnancy….

What to do if you get a nosebleed during pregnancy?

Tips for severe nose bleeds: Pinch the sides of the nose at the bridge of your nose and lean forward so the blood comes out your nose (instead of swallowing it).  Some people find using an ice pack helps as well.

I would recommend considering medical attention if it doesn’t seem to be stopping or slowing after a few minutes.  If you go to the ER or an instacare clinic they have nasal tampons they can shoot up your nose to stop the bleeding.  If they see a specific issue they may use silver nitrate to stop a specific blood vessel.

Frequent pregnancy nosebleeds can be a common problem, but most women find it’s more the occasional nosebleed. 

Once the bleeding has stopped, you may want to lightly blow your nose to get out any excess blood clotting.

If you find they are happening really frequently, or are really heavy nosebleeds I would talk with your healthcare provider.  They may want to try some blood tests, and check your hemoglobin levels.

Ways to prevent nosebleeds in pregnancy:

Dry air (and cold weather can cause dry air) can also make you have nose bleeds, so if you’re getting them frequently you might want to try a humudifier or saline drops in your nose. Same for if you have a runny nose and are frequently blowing it — make sure you’re also using a humidifier.

If you have a stuffy nose, try to stop any nose picking and in dry climates you can even put some Vaseline in your nose in the evening to help hydrate those membranes.

Hopefully it isn’t a big one, an a little compression makes it stop quickly.

And again most people just find this to be an issue during the first trimester of pregnancy since your body is getting used to all that new blood flow.  Most people find by the third trimester they don’t get them as much.

For me, it’s actually one of my main symptoms of early pregnancy.  Nosebleeds in pregnancy are very common.

I remember charting in a room (back when we paper charted) and I saw a bright red drip come out my nose onto my chart.  It was super awkward….

In this same vein some people find that their mucous membranes of the mouth bleed more than they had previously.

I also talk about this a bit more on my sister site’s article pregnancy sneezing during the first trimester where I talk about pregnancy rhinitis. And, if it’s an actual cold I have a whole post on home remedies for colds in pregnancy.

Swollen/Tender Breasts During Pregnancy

Your breasts are affected by all the new/different pregnancy hormones coursing through your body.  For most pregnant women, throughout their pregnancy their boobs will hurt and swell at different times and may stay that way for long periods.

All gettin’ ready to become a juice bar.   Sidenote, I am a big fan of taking a breastfeeding class.

Tired during early pregnancy

While you are creating small (but HUGE) building blocks of a human, the majority of your resources are creating the placenta at this point.

Later, when you look at it — it takes SO much iron and resources to make this magical organ.  Not to mention your growing baby (it’s just a lot smaller than the placenta at that point).

So, have a nap.  You deserve it!

The fatigue will get better.

Spotting during early pregnancy

When the placenta implants there is often some spotting (implantation can also cause c-section scar pain).

This can range from a fair amount to just a tiny amount.

Not usually like a period, but I have heard stories of women who felt like they bled a normal amount, and it must’ve been implantation bleeding.

Actually, you may have a change in vaginal discharge in general too!

Nausea, sometimes with Vomiting During Pregnancy

Although this doesn’t usually happen in the VERY early pregnancy, it will start to increase as you progress in gestation.

A lot of women also complain about feeling super “gaggy” and gross.  All of that is normal (and super fun) #sarcasmfont

Morning sickness doesn’t usually start til’ 7-9 weeks of pregnancy (but can start earlier).

Issues with Food during pregnancy

You might crave certain items, or you might NOT want other items.  All of that is normal as your hormones are affecting your digestive cycle.

Also, you might just not be feeling well and be turning to food to make you happy.  I turn to food a lot when I’m tired.  It’s not served me well.

Grab my safe eating guide right here:

Fainting or Dizziness during early pregnancy

Because you’re using your resources to create a baby and a placenta, it’s not unusual that you might feel faint or dizzy.

Make SURE that you are drinking enough water.  In fact, I would certainly err on the side of too much water vs not enough at this stage.  You’ll feel better for it.

Constipation during pregnancy

Like above — your body is trying to conserve resources — and give as much as they can to the baby.

Leaving you with hard poop.  Constipation is a really common issue in the pregnant patient.

More water, more fiber.  Tally ho!

And yes, I do have a whole post on avoiding pooping at delivery.

Headaches during pregnancy

Headaches can be from dehydration, or hormones, or fatigue.  They will probably stay with you on and off during your pregnancy.

I have a whole post about headaches in pregnancy on my Pregnancy Nurse site.

Bloating/swelling during pregnancy

With all the fluid/hormone changes it’s normal to have some swelling and bloating during pregnancy.

It could also be from the popcorn you ate.

Mood Swings During Pregnancy

Whether it’s from hormones, fatigue, or just a crappy spouse — who knows.  Just know this is normal.  Ask your husband/partner to be more forgiving, and remind them you don’t mean it when you head spins backwards sometimes. I have a whole post on my sister site on what to do if your partner is unsupportive.

via GIPHY

Hopefully this information reminds you that what you are experiencing is NORMAL (but also annoying).  Knowing that you have a common symptom of pregnancy can sometimes make you feel better (oddly).

FAQ’s about early pregnancy:

Are early pregnancy cramps the same as period cramps?

They sure can feel the same.  It’s just your uterus growing.  They shouldn’t be too painful, and don’t take ibuprofen at this stage in the game.   Sometimes a warm shower can help.

Are early pregnancy symptoms on and off?

Yes, 100%.  Just because you feel really nauseous one day, and not the next — don’t get concerned and stress-out.  It’s just your body trying to find a new normal.

Can early pregnancy cause pimples?

Yes, darn hormones.  They’re all over the place at this point in the game.  Sorry about that.

When should I take a Prenatal Vitamin?

Right away!  Prenatal Vitamins should be taken by all women who have a chance of pregnancy to prevent neural tube defects.

What should I not do during early pregnancy?

• Freak out — stressing out about all of it is not a great plan.
• Take medication — unless your doctor has directed you to, I recommend a neutral body during pregnancy which means trying to make your diet and intake as clean as possible.

Otherwise just act normal.  Your body takes care of this, and hopefully, it works out.  Honestly, the first few weeks don’t seem “real” and I try to sort of ignore it.  As someone who had infertility for quite a while I like to give it a few weeks to get my heart set on stuff, but that’s me.  I have a whole post on what you SHOULD do during early pregnancy.

That includes

• Drink lots of water
• Eat balanced meals — try not to go too salty or too sugary.  Balance protein and sugar.  It will just help you feel better overall.
• Take it easy.  Try not to over-schedule yourself, leave a lot of margins in your life.

It’s never too early to think about getting prepared for your baby’s birth.  I have an online prenatal class that will help you and your partner prepare for what’s to come check out The Online Prenatal Class for Couples. 

Or, if you’re not quite ready for the full class, check out my free prenatal class — It’s your first step towards being your own birth boss.

The post Nosebleeds during Pregnancy: And other early pregnancy symptoms appeared first on Pulling Curls.

First off, hello! I’m Hilary — many people know me as The Pregnancy Nurse . I have been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of OB nursing experience, I am also the curly head behind this website Pulling Curls and The Online Prenatal Class for Couples. ​ Besides being pregnant three times on my own, I have also talked to countless women about what they’re eating and craving during pregnancy — so I have searched for recipes to fit the bill!

Grab my healthy eating guide for you during your pregnancy:

What are the benefits of soup during pregnancy?

1. Soup is a great source of hydration: Pregnant women need to stay well-hydrated, and soup can help you do that! It’s especially helpful if you’re suffering from morning sickness or feeling dehydrated.

2. Soup is a great way to get extra nutrition: Soups are often packed with nutritious vegetables, like carrots, tomatoes onions, and celery. This makes it a great way to get extra vitamins and minerals that are important for your baby’s growth. I have lots of healthy soups to try in the recipe section below!

3. Soup is easy to digest: Pregnancy can lead to stomach issues, so some women may find it hard to digest certain foods. Soups are generally easier on the digestive system, and can help pregnant women stay fuller for longer.

4. Soup is comforting: Pregnancy can bring a lot of stress and anxiety, so it’s important to find foods that are comforting. Soups are warm and soothing – the perfect choice on a cold winter evening!

5. Soup is versatile: There are countless types of soups out there, so it’s easy to find one that fits your mood. Whether you’re in the mood for a hearty beef soup or something light and refreshing like gazpacho, it’s easy to whip up a delicious meal.

6. Soup is easy to make: Often you make it in the morning and then enjoy it in the evenings when you’re tired after work. It also makes great leftovers!

Ok, we’ve talked about all the benefits for pregnant ladies to eat the soups — but how do you pick one?

How to make soup for pregnant women

There are a few things to keep in mind for soups.

The good news is that soup eliminates many of the restrictions many pregnant women have — for things like deli meat or un-pasteurized cheese because if it’s going in the soup it will be cooked thoroughly. Of course, you still do want to stay away from fish that could have mercury etc…. I wonder if there’s a sushi soup…. hahhah

Are there cravings that you could fulfill? — I have a few recipes below that fulfill specific cravings — and that’s a big win!

Anything she can’t stand? Some women can’t stand meat, but some are fine with it and could really use the protein/iron with it. So, make sure you’re good with all the things in the recipe.

Is she handling dairy OK? Some women may only want to have broth-based soups at speific times during their pregnancy.

Favorite Soup Recipes to Nourish You During Pregnancy

I have this split into a few sections you can choose between:

Craving Soups

Here are a few soups to try during pregnancy if a particular craving has you!

When my friend April sent me this dill pickle soup I KNEW it had to make this article. So “cliche” — but maybe it calls to some of you!

This Zupa’s copycat Chicken Enchilada Chili might fix a craving you have for going out (but desperately want to stay in and curl up on the couch.

And, there’s this copycat Olive Garden Zupa Toscana that you might enjoy! Or their Gnocchi soup.

And then there’s Longhorn Steakhouse’s loaded bake potato soup that looks amazing.

Don’t forget soups are for a variety of things. If you look the bland texture of soups this strawberry soup might be a fun addition.

Soup For Feeling Sick

Not feeling well. There are a lot of pregnancy soup recipes that have onions, garlic and other herbs that might help you feel better since you can’t take many of the drugs you normally would with a cold/flu.

I thought this “feel better” soup was interesting. It does have some strong bold flavors like cilantro, peppers, garlic and onion — but it makes sense that those things might combine to help you feel better! Love how that one is instantpot, so you can get it together quickly after a long day (and a lot of people aren’t feeling great in the mornings before work, so crockpots aren’t a great option).

Broth Soups

Early pregnancy may have you craving just something to hydrate you an keep you alive. Many of these also have some veggies in them to help keep up those prenatal vitamin stores throughout your pregnancy.

I love this slow cooker chicken tortilla soup. Anything slow cooker is a win, and the addition of sour cream, chips and cheese is always a welcome treat to soups. They also have a taco soup that is similar, but with ground beef instead.

Who doesn’t love a chicken noodle soup, and if you’re cooking for a pregnant woman — really doing it “up” with love in this homemade chicken noodle soup is a big win. This chicken noodle soup looks a bit easier, and is made for the instant pot.

This chicken and wild rice soup has some thickness to it because of the rice, but doesn’t contain cream. It is great to pack in the nutrients if you’re not eating much otherwise.

This vegetable and beef soup has beans as well as ground beef. If you’re looking to up your iron stores, bean soup is a great option! Not a bean fan — here’s another one without the beans.

Kids don’t want soup, but it sounds good to you — try adding some fun noodles with this alphabet soup!

Constipation hanging around during pregnancy. I love all the fiber in this chicken and barley soup.

Maybe you miss the warm tomato soup and grilled cheese your mom used to make, but you’d like to up the nutrients with some fresh tomatoes this tomato soup looks good (it also looks creamy, but doesn’t actually have cream)

Cream Soups

Once you leave that nausea of the first trimester behind (I hope) these creamy soups are a great option to add to your pregnancy diet!

This tortellini soup has cream cheese in it, but no cream itself. Plus, they’re packing in good foods with the cheese tortellini and the kale. This one’s a winner in my book!

This chicken pot pie soup has milk in it, but can also be served with a hearty biscuit that sounds delish in the winter!

This quick and easy loaded bake potato soup also just has cream cheese looks amazing!

This broccoli cheese soup looks yummy.

And, if you’re not seeing one you like on here, check out my friend April’s soup section on her site. Lots of yummy flavors on there!

Ok, that should be a good start to your pregnancy soup battle.

If you’re pregnant and looking for a delicious way to get your nutrients, try making soup. Soup is packed with vitamins and minerals that are essential for a healthy pregnancy. Plus, it’s easy to make and can be tailored to your specific cravings. So why not give it a try? And if you have a favorite recipe, be sure to share it in the comments below!

And, if you’re looking for something ELSE to comfort you — come join me in The Online Prenatal Class for Couples where we aim to prepare you from bump to bassinet for the confident hospital birth you want!

Or, if you’re not quite ready for the full class, check out my free prenatal class — It’s your first step towards being your own birth boss.

The post The Best Soups for Pregnancy: 21 Soup recipes for prenatal nutrition! appeared first on Pulling Curls.

Is it OK to Sleep on Your Stomach When Pregnant?

Well, it depends…

First off, every person is different, so definitely ask your doctor before you take my advice. You may have back or placental issues that would be better positioned another way.

First off, hello! I’m Hilary — many people know me as The Pregnancy Nurse . I have been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of OB nursing experience, I am also the curly head behind this website Pulling Curls and The Online Prenatal Class for Couples. ​ So, I’ve answered a LOT of questions about pregnancy sleep….

Come join me in my FREE Beginning Prenatal Class where we chat a bunch of ways to be in the DRIVERS seat of your upcoming birth!

Can you sleep on your stomach during the first trimester?

In general, yes. As long as you find it comfortable, you can do that. And, for quite a few weeks it will feel fine to sleep on your stomach during pregnancy.

However, as you progress a few weeks of pregnancy, you’ll start to feel a lump in the baby area.

At this point, it is probably not dangerous to keep sleeping on your stomach, but it will start to be uncomfortable.

At that point, I’d stop sleeping on my stomach. Although there are stomach-sleeping pregnancy pillows out there.

BTW, I have a whole post on Pregnancy Sleep that you might enjoy.

Related Post: Stomach Gurgling in the Second Trimester

Is it safe to sleep on your back when you’re pregnant?

Once you hit about 20 weeks, you should stop sleeping on your back, it can cut off blood flow to your lower body by all the weight pushing directly on inferior vena cava (the big blood vessel in your body that takes blood to all your parts).

What can happen if you sleep on your back during pregnancy?

This all sounds really freaky, right? But I think if that was really happening, your body would know to wake up and shift position.

I used to wake up on my back frequently, thinking I had ruined my baby — but a manager told me that above, and it makes sense.

Best way to sleep during the 2nd and third trimester?

The best way is to lay on your side. They have SAID the best way to sleep is on your left side, that it helped promote blood flow, but I recently heard that it doesn’t actually matter. Either side is fine.

I also recommend using a body pillow (or just a pillow between your legs) as it helps support your hips. I talk about all sorts of other ways to sleep better during pregnancy.

You can also sleep “tilted” — in which case you usually shove a pillow behind your hip so that you don’t end up flat on your back (if you can help it). There are lots of pregnancy pillows out there, but you can totally use regular pillows too.

The key is not having a direct straight down pressure, by tilting, your uterus rolls off your Vena Cava.

I also have a post on if it’s OK to use a weighted blanket to help you sleep during pregnancy.

And, I have one about if you can go into labor while sleeping.

What if I want to sleep on my stomach while pregnant?

It SOUNDS good, but it really wouldn’t be comfortable for you, or the baby. You CAN sleep pretty far onto your side — often comfy with your leg up on a pillow. We call this “Sims” position in the hospital. It often helps your baby move well.

I also have a post on the best pillows for pregnant stomach sleepers.

FAQ’s on Best Sleeping Positions during Pregnancy

So you avoid sleeping on your stomach, and they no lying on your back — so sleeping on your side during pregnancy is probably your best bet. Question answered!

Come join me

Ok, now that we’ve gone over ALL of that (PHEW) — please consider checking The Online Prenatal Class for Couples that will simplify a lot of pregnancy for you.

If you feel like you’re not quite ready for that full class, grab my Free Beginning Prenatal Class to get you started.

The post Is it OK to Sleep on Your Stomach When Pregnant? What’s the best sleep position during pregnancy? appeared first on Pulling Curls.

Pregnant women taking marijuana can have serious consequences (also during breastfeeding as well). Today we’re going to talk about the consequences of marijuana use in pregnancy.

How do I all all of this? Hi, I’m Hilary — many people know me as The Pregnancy Nurse . I have been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of OB nursing experience, I am also the curly head behind this website Pulling Curls and The Online Prenatal Class for Couples. ​ Please note that this post is written from my own experience in working in two states and also interviews with other nurses around the country. This seems to be the standard of care for women in both states where it is “legal” and not legal, however guidance is constantly changing.

I know a lot of you don’t like this information (hence, comments are off since someone mentioned they would like my house to catch on fire and my family die in it). I really am just here to tell you what will happen and remind you that honesty is TRULY the best policy.

Don’t miss my post on my sister site about wine during pregnancy (and I dive deep into the studies in that one since there are so many).

But, if you’re really looking to get prepared for what happens at birth — come join me in The Online Prenatal Class for Couples where we get you prepared for all of it in just a few hours!

Will they take my baby away if I test positive for drugs?

Positive drug use often leads to a social services referal, which often leads to a call to CPS (child protective services). From there, it’s up to them (but most often doesn’t end up in anything more than possibly a visit and a record of it).

BUT it’s complicated, so let’s talk about it….

It’s important for you to undertand that in my state (and most states) it does require a CPS call by us to notify them — most often done by a social worker (however, if the social worker wasn’t available I have made the call before as the RN).  Drug use during pregnancy is considered a form of abuse and we are required to report all forms of abuse to CPS.

CPS may or may not visit you, but they will have a record of it in their system.  If you have questions about the requirements in your state, I would recommend you to ask your doctor.

During your prenatal check-ups they will likely ask about your drug useage, and it may be routine for them to do a drug test on you. In some states this requires consent, and in others it does not.

BTW, if you’re doing marijuana and might be pregnant it is important to take a pregnancy test so you can STOP as soon as you are (I also have a little online pregnancy test — which isn’t as accurate, but good if you’re just wondering). The vast majority of women do stop taking marijuana as soon as they find out they are pregnant.

Of course, marijuana isn’t the only type of drug that we are testing for in these screen. A positive drug test can come from many types of drugs. Many on the drug screen are taken more seriously by a social worker than marijuana — and at times you could have issues with child endangerment from law enforcement.

Prenatal drug exposure is taken really seriously (as it should be) by child welfare.

Please note that if the health care provider does NOT notify CPS (or social services) we can lose our license, and it would be illegal as we are mandatory reporters.

If you test positive for prescription drugs that you have a prescription for, they may also discuss your opioid use and the safety of your family. This isn’t just about marijuana — it is definitely about the safety of children overall.

Please note that any actions taken on the baby’s plan for where it will live after it leaves the hospital is not up to health care workers. We are required to report things, and then it is in the hands of child protective services.

I love that you’re planning for all of this — and that is a HUGE step. If you’re a planner, check out my pregnancy planner full of places for memories, managing it all and your medical info you’ll need!

Marijuana during Pregnancy

It is my firmest desire that babies are given the most benign environment to grow in during pregnancy.  That means limiting coffee, alcohol, drugs (especially those unstudied), etc — except when the benefits far outweigh the risks, and can’t be gotten in other ways.

That is what this article is about.  If you strongly believe Marijuana is great during pregnancy, you and I will just have to disagree.

Smoking Marijuana While Pregnant

Marijuana is becoming legal in more and more states both for recreational and medicinal uses.  Whatever side of the argument you stand on for that — the reality is that when you’re pregnant things are very different.

Is it illegal to smoke weed while pregnant?

It is illegal to take marijuana during pregnancy.  It is still a federally controlled substance.

While, in some states where marijuana is legal, there is a bit of grey area — they really encourage moms NOT to take marijuana during pregnancy, just as we encourage them not to drink or take other controlled substances.

Taking marijuana during your pregnancy is a bad idea and is illegal — in some states. 

ACOG (American College of Obstetricians & Gynecologists ) has said that because there is very limited research, they recommend against marijuana use during pregnancy. This statement is also echo’d by The American Academy of Pediatrics.

It is illegal for a doctor to give you a marijuana prescription while you are pregnant.

Consequences for your baby for smoking marijuana during your pregnancy

**Honestly, there aren’t a lot of studies that have tracked babies of moms who smoked marijuana (because it’s illegal, and moms are unwilling to come forward for such a study.

There doesn’t seem to be anything specific like birth defects that they notice at birth. Which is good.

However, there are studies showing that marijuana use during your pregnancy can cause:

• low birth weight
• premature birth
• small head circumference
• decreased length
• stillbirth

If you’re interested in this, the CDC has a whole page on marijuana use during pregnancy.

Some drugs can cause a placental abruption due to the changes in blood flow in your body with these types of drugs.

There is a new study about marijuana use in pregnancy increasing kid’s anxiety and hyperactivity, showing there is a correlation between it and behavioral problems.

Studies are still being done, and the research on this topic is PRETTY poor, but most things show those consequences above are possibilities.

After birth, babies exposed to marijuana in utero have changes in brain development — things like changed responses to visual stimuli, higher-pitched cry or trembling.  While it doesn’t appear that babies go through withdrawal, the longer term studies are noting things like change in school performance, memory, impulse control or attention spans.

You can learn more about these consequences in this article  from the NIH.  I’ve read a few studies and it seems that there just aren’t many out there.  While the results are fairly inconclusive (and many studies seem to contradict each other) the majority point to possible brain issues as the child develops.

There is a recent study out of Australia that continues to link it to lower birth weight and complications.

Smoking weed while pregnant — cps involvement

Depending on your state, your provider can sometimes take a urine drug screen with or without your consent.

In my state, we do need a consent to test YOUR urine but we do not need one to test your baby. So, if you refuse, we just test the baby’s — and it also looks extremely suspicious.

Remember that honesty is always the best policy and CPS will note that if they are required to come.

The results of that urine drug screen (which always includes a screening for marijuana) will be noted in your chart. BTW, you can also test at home.

If you test positive for marijuana during your prenatal care, the hospital will likely ask to test you at delivery. They will also make a call to social work, and they will follow CPS guidelines for their area.

**If you plan to refuse the drug screen, we will screen your baby (that does not require consent).  We will also call social work about your refusal and that refusal will be noted.**

From that point, it is out of our hands.  It is in CPS’s hands at that point.

Nurses may also take your baby’s first stools to test it for marijuana to see how far into your pregnancy you took the drug (which may be a relief for those who mistakenly took it early in their pregnancy, before they knew — those stools will back you up). This is called a meconium screen.

If you are currently pregnant and using marijuana you need to stop.  If you are taking it for a “medical condition” you need to talk to your doctors about alternative methods that could be safer.

**If you disagree with this article I strongly encourage you to talk with your doctor about your drug use and what to expect after delivery. **

As a note, often marijuana use during pregnancy can also show as other substance use disorders, or use of other illicit drugs — so that will be considered by child protective services as well. Substance abuse while caring for children (or growing them in your womb) is certainly a cause for concern. They may talk about drug treatment programs with you.

Nurses will also keep an eye on baby using the Neonatal Abstinence syndrome scoring to make sure baby isn’t having any withdrawls from illegal substances.

Baby Testing Positive for THC at Birth

So, in summary, if a mom or a newborn tests positive for THC at birth they will send a social work consult, which will then go to CPS and they may follow-up with you. Most often, nothing at the hospital happens — although the nurses may watch baby closer for any withdrawal symptoms (although most often there aren’t visible signs from withdrawal from cannabis).

In some states they also can’t assist you with breastfeeding if you test positive for THC (we’ll talk more about breastfeeding in a bit).

Can they take your baby away for smoking pot while pregnant?

If it is illegal in your state — I do believe that they can take your baby away (but only with other issues of neglect or a lack of safety).  That does not mean that they WILL take your baby away.  Family court’s goal is to always keep families together if at all possible.

Will they take my baby if I test positive at birth?

Likely, no.  However, it will trigger a CPS visit to you, and possibly one to your home.  If they find other mitigating circumstances, that could become a real possibility.  It could also be a possibility for any other children you have in your care as well.

They may also commit to some random drug tests to make sure you are a safe parent.

Cleaning system while pregnant third trimester

While it varies, you can test positive for around 3 weeks after you’ve smoked.  There is a good article here that talks about how long marijuana stays in your system.

There really isn’t anything you can do to clean your system out in that time frame.

I have really heard it all before:

• “I haven’t smoked for MONTHS”
• “I was just in a room where other people were smoking”
• “I never smoked”

A positive, is a positive, is a positive. If you believe there is a false positive, you can ask that they take bloodwork. I have seen false-positive results in a pregnant mother, but they are extremely rare.

And once we have a positive — we can test your baby’s stools to see when during your pregnancy you smoked.

If you believe it is a false positive, ask for a blood test to be taken (which is more sensitive).

What happens if I fail a drug test while pregnant?

Your health care providers will likely council you on it and will note it in your prenatal care record. Most providers do a drug test on the first prenatal visit as part of universal screening for many things (like chlamydia, ghonorrhea, anemia etc). They may or may not need your consent to specifically do a drug screen.

The most important thing is to always be honest with your doctor, so that he/she can give you the care you need.  If/when CPS visits you, honesty will be super important for them!

Honestly, what that provider does with the info really varies, but most often they will at least council you to stop.

I think we all understand that new mothers really are trying to do their best for their baby. They want families to stay together.

Using a planner can help you keep track of any information you need to stay honest and on top of things.

Alternatives to Use of Marijuana during pregnancy

A lot of women take Marijuana during their pregnancy because of morning sickness, or other medical conditions.

I’d encourage you to talk to your healthcare provider about other options. A lot of people take this with this (but talk to your doctor first). I have a whole post on Unisom use during pregnancy on my sister site.

Check with your provider, and be specific with your symptoms, to see what they think will be right for YOU.

Marijuana and Breastfeeding

The compounds in Marijuana are found in higher concentrations in breast milk than they are in the user’s bloodstream.  It can have similar consequences for your baby as noted above, and also noted in the study above.

In Arizona, we are unable to help you breastfeed if you have had a positive screen during pregnancy. It was not like that in California, but it is something to keep in mind.

FYI, my friend Katie has a great Breastfeeding & Alcohol Calculator — in case you’re looking to drink and breastfeed.

Marijuana in Pregnancy Faq’s

My baby is smarter than other kids because I took marijuana.

While not a question, I do get this a lot in the comments. Again — as I said above, the studies are pretty poor, but most do point to some delays as kids get older.

Will my baby have withdrawl symptoms from marijuana

No, they will not. There has been some noted irritability in babies of moms with substantial marijuana use, but nothing tangible.

What if I test positive for other drugs?

Again, we will call CPS. That’s all the hospital does, but CPS makes calls like that, not us. Other drugs are certainly more problematic for both you and the baby.

Will my baby have withdrawls from other medication

Yes, we have moms who take both prescription and elicit drugs during their pregnancy and their baby will have withdrawals. It was on the most painful things to watch as we wean that baby from the medication. So sad.

Where do you get off telling me what to do?

I don’t. I am just explaining what will happen. I am also sharing that as a labor nurse who has seen THOUSANDS of babies, the less we can do to affect their environment, the better.

A note on comments:  I turned them off. People just couldn’t be civil.

And, like I said your best starting point to get prepared is The Online Prenatal Class for Couples. It GUARANTEES you’ll be more prepared for birth — and studies show you’re going to be happier about the whole process too.

Or, if you’re not quite ready for the full class, check out my free prenatal class — It’s your first step towards being your own birth boss.

The post Marijuana Use During Pregnancy: Cannabis, THC and the newborn drug screen — what happens? appeared first on Pulling Curls.

New moms feel very worried they will miss something as they head into their pregnancy. I have seen lots of ways to document your pregnancy journey and I think so many are focused on e ither thoughts and feelings OR the facts of your pregnancy, and I am excited to bring you one that combines both!

As someone who has seen THOUSANDS of births I am here to support you in your pregnancy, and I’ve known for a long time that a Pregnancy Planner was something you all needed and I’m happy to offer it to you here with the Bump to Bassinet Pregnancy Planner

As a nurse and a HUGE planner this really is a marriage made in heaven. I hope to both support your pregnancy brain with to-do lists, but also help you record all the emotions you’re feeling in this journey.

What should be in a pregnancy planner?

This pregnancy book really has everything you need for your upcoming birth. The best pregnancy planners will include:

• A week-by-week guide to what to what’s going on in your pregnancy
• Tips on how to stay healthy and active during pregnancy
• A spot for your birth plan (although I prefer birth “preferences”)
• A spot for your baby shower planning
• A place to mark thank you cards for baby gifts
• A list of resources for additional information, support and pregnancy tips
• To-do lists for things you need to get done (pregnancy brain is real)
• A list for baby names (I know you’ll love these later on)
• A family tree portion so babies can see where they come from
• Spots for bump photos
• Journal prompts to share your feeling on this journey
• Plenty of room for you to add your own needs with some blank pages
• A place for firsts— like first kick
• A spot for birth announcements (even print off the pages of comments when you share online)
• A spot to detail your birth story
• A medical log of what’s going on (could be extra helpful for other pregnancies)
• A spot for pregnancy milestones
• Ultrasound photos (that first ultrasound will look so small someday)
• A hospital bag checklist

Bonus: The Bump to Bassinet Pregnancy Planner gives you the opportunity to join us in our pregnancy group, and get more support from other families like yours!

Why Use a Pregnancy Planner?

A pregnancy planner can be a helpful tool for both first-time and experienced parents. It can help you keep track of your appointments and to-do items, as well as provide guidance on what to expect during each stage of pregnancy. Additionally, a pregnancy planner can help you manage your stress levels and keep you organized during this busy time.

Ultimately, as a mom of older kids I can assure you that someday your child will be amazed that they used to live inside you. This keepsake journal is the key to remembering it all. It’s not just for you to keep it together during the pregnancy, but a great option for memories this child will love some day.

What about the Best Pregnancy Journal?

I think that a good planner combines not only including feelings, but also the facts of your pregnancy. That’s how I use my OWN planner, and I created that for you to do this in this planner.

How to Use a Pregnancy Planner

To get the most out of your pregnancy planner, be sure to:

• Fill it out as you go along – don’t wait until the last minute!
• Customize it to your needs – there is no one-size-fits-all approach to pregnancy planning
• Use it as a reference – refer back to your pregnancy planner throughout your pregnancy for guidance and support

A great way to use it is to print as you go. No need to have a bunch of empty sheets in your body before baby’s arrival, that will just feel stressful.

The best pregnancy planner will make your life easier and help you prepare for the arrival of your new baby. So download it now and get started on your journey!

How Should I Take the Bump Photos?

You can easily print the photos at home, but I really like a more “photograph” look (and my printers don’t always do this for me).

I love a this camera/printer that prints those types of photos right on demand for you.

Or, you can keep this planner entirely digital and use drag and drop things. Easy peasy!

How do I print this pregnancy planner?

To print this pregnancy planner, you’ll want to purchase it.

Upon purchase we will send you information on how to access it.

The planner comes as PDF files for you to use.

You can then print it, or you can use it in a tablet software where you can write directly on top of PDF’s.

Not interested in printable pregnancy planners I do have a few that I recommend (but clearly won’t have everything I’d put in there)

The Belly Book

Oh Baby Pregnancy Planner

Best Pregnancy Planner FAQ’s

Ok, I can’t wait for you to get started in this pregnancy planner!

The post The Best Pregnancy Planner: Memories, Medical and Management — all in one! appeared first on Pulling Curls.

As of course, nothing on here is medical advice, and we recommend you always check with your provider for answers to your specific healthcare questions.

First off, hello! I’m Hilary — many people know me as The Pregnancy Nurse . I have been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of OB nursing experience, I am also the curly head behind this website Pulling Curls and The Online Prenatal Class for Couples. ​ I get asked SO frequently if someone is pregnant as it is…

• Too early to take a test — you should at least be close to the day your period was due, or at least 3-4 weeks since your last period to take a urine test, otherwise it’s just too early!
• They are embarrassed to get them at the store (but I can promise you the cashier won’t remember you)
• They don’t have the cash for them — and if that’s the case, there are a lot of free pregnancy clinics like Planned Parenthood — you can google where to get a pregnancy test and it should show you local results!

I’d love to guide you all through your pregnancy — come join me here:

Am I Pregnant Quiz

Keep in mind this is based entirely of timing and symptoms. Things like breast tenderness (or changes), implantation bleeding, “feeling pregnant” — even bloody noses… but those can all be symptoms of other things too.

So, even if your chance is 100% — you may not be pregnant. A home pregnancy test is 100% the best plan at this point. I recommend the ones at the dollar store or these online pregnancy tests (they’re available online, you don’t TAKE them online). You can also often get a free pregnancy test at women’s health centers. DO NOT feel like you need to get the expensive, digital first response tests.

The only way to know for sure is to take a pregnancy test after you would have had your period.

Remember that home tests are just as accurate as the test in the doctors office (often the same thing). They provide a very accurate test results.

Online Pregnancy Quiz:

And now, I share with you my free online pregnancy test:

And might I also recommend taking a pregnancy test — a real one that actually measures the hormones in your blood/urine. It’s the only true standard, and you MUST confirm the results! This test would have a HIGH ratio of false positives or false negative “test results”.

If you ARE pregnant it is SUPER important that you receive appropriate prenatal care, so be sure to talk to your healthcare provider.

AND grab the best pregnancy planner — it’s the most fun when you start it early!

Common Early Pregnancy Symptoms:

Once baby implants in your womb there are a lot of changes in your body already. Some common early signs of pregnancy are….

Missed Period

As I said above — your last period should be more than 4 weeks ago in order to test your urine, or — frankly, to have pregnancy symptoms. Prior to that the fetus could still be implanting and so small it doesn’t make body changes.

Late periods can happen for a variety of reasons though — here are a few:

• Illness
• Stress
• Extra strenuous activity

Remember that just because you have a late period does NOT mean that you are pregnant (but it definitely could be and I’d 100% take a test). Pregnancy hormones shut off your period (but stress, illness or a number of things can also cause a delay in your period).

You have to have sex in order to get pregnant

This just makes sense. Bonus point if it’s unprotected sex.

Birth control is truly meant to protect pregnancy, if you don’t use it — it is more likely, but certainly not always going to happen.

Tender Breasts

Because of the increased blood flow to your breast tissue your breasts can hurt (sometimes quite a lot) — BUT, it can also be a sign that you’ll start your period soon.

Some women say that their areolas got darker early in pregnancy (but some say that doesn’t happen til’ later on).

Smelling things new/differently

Because of the hormones and increased blood flow, it changes how you smell things. Some smells might be extra annoying — all very normal.

Could also be because your boyfriend/husband DOES smell really bad.

Bloody noses

Because of all the extra blood flow — soft tissues like the membranes in your nose can bleed more easily. I actually have a post all about bloody noses in pregnancy.

Nausea/Vomiting or “Morning Sickness”

Most people know this, but it can also be from the Chinese food you ate last night. If it happens daily, it can certainly be something to consider!

Light spotting

When the fetus/placenta implants (called implantation bleeding) on your uterine wall it can cause some bleeding.

“Feeling Pregnant”

My mom always said she just “knew” she was pregnant… I never had that, but some women do! However, a test is the sure way!

** Keep in mind there are no real OBVIOUS signs of pregnancy — all of these are signs that could or could not be pregnant, and the symptoms of pregnancy vary a lot between people and their hormonal changes.

Things that aren’t particularly early signs of pregnancy:

• Mood Swings: These can happen for a variety of reasons.
• Cramping: It can also be a strong sign your period is starting, although some women do experience cramping quite a lot at implantation.

The most accurate pregnancy symptom:

Is a positive pregnancy test. It really is the only way.

When to take a Pregnancy Test:

You want to take it close to the time you would have missed your period. For most women that will be about 4 weeks from their last period (although all women vary in the length of their menstrual cycle). I also have a post about the best time of day to take a pregnancy test.

If you have irregular periods, wait to take it until 28 days after your last period (if not a bit longer).

Taking a urine pregnancy test too early can lead to a false negative test.

Many pregnant women find that they like to have their pregnancy hormone hcg levels tested by their provider to make sure they’re increasing. That is a blood test you’d do every few days.

Pro Tip: Hcg is created from the minute of implantation in your body and that is what pregnancy tests are checking for. The presence of Human Chorionic Gonadotropin Hormone (HCG) is a sign of pregnancy.

False Negative Pregnancy Test

A false negative result can be due to a lot of things:

• Taking it too early
• Taking it later in the day when HCG is less prevalent in your urine
• Test errors

Remember that false negatives are much more likely than a false positive with a pregnancy test.

False positives can happen due to hormonal issues, blighted ovum’s or sometimes ectopic pregnancy — and you’d want an appointment with your provider to discuss any of those as well.

Next Thing After Pregnancy Test

If you think you’re pregnant — what’s your next step?

• The first thing would be to confirm with an actual pregnancy test. Even a faint line is a positive result. It’s a good idea take a second test if you’re second-guessing the line — but maybe wait a couple of days.
• If you are pregnant I have a pregnancy calculator that will show your due date.
• Make sure you’re taking prenatal vitamins for the health of you and your baby
• If you’re on medications call your provider to see if specific medications need to be changed to be pregnancy-friendly.
• Make an appointment with a pregnancy provider (or with your general provider if you need a referral) during your first trimester of pregnancy

With all that I hope the results are what YOU are hoping for. Pregnancy can be a hard 2-edged sword. People want it desperately, or not at all. If you think you ARE pregnant, be sure to check out my Pregnancy Calendar.

Here are some other posts that might interest you:

• Is it OK to sleep on your stomach when you’re pregnant?
• Best pregnancy podcasts
• Why can’t I get pregnant again?
• Painful Vaginal Exams
• When will I go into labor quiz

The post The MOST accurate — am I pregnant quiz! appeared first on Pulling Curls.