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That’s right, I’m angry.
So, this young lady in our ward got pregnant. She was in YW when I was also in YW and our presidency made every effort to prevent, what was apparently the inevitable. Did I mention she’s 15?
So, she’s pregnant. She came to church a few Sundays ago trying to hide it with every ounch of coat possible… but it’s obvious and finally she is saying she’s pregnant.
I had thought long and hard about it and decided that we should do something to show her that even though she has made some VERY bad decisions (including being unwilling to give the baby up for adoption) we still love her and are willing to support her. So, my friend and I decided it might be a good idea to give her a shower, basically 2 fold in purpose. 1. To understand that the church is still willing to support her and befriend her. 2. Also, she is living at the boyfriend’s house and neither has much funds and regardless of their poor status they’re going to need stuff (baby tylenol, blankets, a bath etc) for the baby… and we were willing to provide some of the stuff we no longer needed for her.
Now, I find-out that people in the ward are talking bad about the shower. Nary a word to myself. They think that it’s wrong to highlight the fact that she got pregnant and is NOW GETTING PRESENTS for it. Thankfully, the older young women in our ward, I believe, understand that we need to support her because raising a child at 15 is not going to be easy.
Well, turns-out the shower may not even happen because the won’t call me back. Which, is her own problem but I feel good about extending the hand of friendship and letting her know I’m there for her… which I want to be.
I just have to wonder what Jesus would do ladies…. I do believe he would provide a small and useful gift and perhaps even a carseat so he could take her and the baby to church. What does everyone else think Jesus would do? Am I wrong here?

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  1. says

    Tough situation really. I think that it isn’t bad to have a shower. The baby still has needs…why are we punishing the baby for its mother’s mistakes? Why, because she made a bad decision, should the baby not be cared for? That makes me sick that these ladies would say this and I would definitely say something to them if I were you.
    Off the soapbox now…

  2. amie says

    This happened in my ward growing up and a bunch of Relief Society sisters did a shower for the gal. I remember being all ticked because no yw were invited. I guess they didn’t want to glamorize it. Seems reasonable now. Anyways it’s already happened (the pregnancy)…it’s not like you got them a hotel room or birth control. THAT would be condowing it. I can’t spell.

  3. says

    Gosh, I’m sorry. I know that must really hurt. Your shower is a good idea…stick to your guns. If someone says something to you about it, explain you feel that Jesus would still want us to care for one another and let HIM be the judge. If they continue to talk behind your back, let it be…you’re doing the right thing. At least this gal knows someone isn’t talking smack about her. She must feel horrible…

  4. says

    Wow that is a hard one. I wouldn’t advertise the shower or hold it at the church but have it in someone’s home on the down low. There are also outside pregnancy centers like Crisis pregnancy center and homes for preganant teens if she is interested in that.

  5. says

    You know I was thinking about this more and have these questions – is she truly repentent? Why is she coming back to church – is it to make amends with God? Does she have no where else to go and that is why she is at the boyfriends? I was thining about the times Jesus encountered “sinners” and it seems he loved them, didn’t judge them but he always left them with the words – sin no more. And that’s the hard thing – to love people like Jesus did but not enable them to continue in their sin. That’s what I need to figure out…

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