Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I Want It NOW

I feel like this girl.  I want a feast, I want a bean feast....

Only mine goes, "I want a job, a job that lets me pick my hours... and a house that's all so perfect and within walking distance...."

Can you hear it?

Can you see my hair getting all snarly and in my face?

I can.

I see it in my minds eye every day.

I realize that I am wanting the absolute impossible.

What are the chances that Drew finds the perfect job, and the perfect opportunity to go back to school, I find a great job and we sell our house AND we find the perfect house?

I am whiny, and arrogant to think it should all happen.

But a large part of me thinks it WILL happen.  For some crazy reason....

But I guess I feel badly for expecting it.  There are so many people out there a lot worse off.  Although, I will admit that the circumstances around Drew's being laid off makes me feel like I kind of deserve more.

But no one deserves anything.  And I know whatever we get is a blessing from God.

And I need to remember that.
We have been EXTREMELY lucky and blessed so far.  When I'm able to pull myself out and take a "step back" I realize that.

It's just finding the time to take in the whole view. :)

{God is in charge, don't jump off the plane}


  1. Margit11:08 AM

    Hi Hilary,

    Your post made me think of what we went through when we moved here a few years ago. There were so many unanswered questions and unknown possibilities. What helped me was holding the thought in my mind that, even though we had an amazing life in Toronto, another great life was possible, another great house, friends, work, purpose and meaning, the whole bit were going to be in our new place for us. Through all the ups and downs, I sent the belief out there to my future that it was all possible. What I learned along the way was that I might not see the blessings for what they were right off--I might not know what changes I needed in my life until we moved and were settled. Different (from expectations) ended up being good too.
    Well, I got that off my mind.
    :-)Thanks, Hilary.

  2. hang in there Hilly.

    if anyone is following the Lord and doing what they should. it's you and your family.

    the Lord will provide. I have no doubt.


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