Saturday, May 07, 2011

Moving: Decisions

I really want to do a series on moving on this blog.  I was kind of searching blogs, just for people who'd moved and how they made the decision and how it all came about, so I'm hoping not to only include my experience for my blog when it's printed, but also maybe to help someone out.

So, we got the pink slip the day before Drew left for Ireland and the school district was "really hopeful" that they'd take it back and all would be well.  Drew left for Ireland and we both promised not to worry about it (and while we mostly didn't, how can you not?).  The entire time I thought he'd just get re-hired until just about Drew came back from Ireland, and my heart changed.

I just knew we were moving.

Then, when Drew came back we continued to get worse and worse news from the school district.  My thoughts were confirmed.  We would, in fact, have to move.  At one point the superintedent told Drew "This too will pass, it's only going to be a hard 5 years of cuts."  {um, hello was that supposed to be encouraging?}

So, Drew applies.  He applies a lot.  He applied to a district where 2 of my VERY good friends that moved from here lived.  I thought for sure THAT would be the one.  I could stay at home, and we'd get a great house.  All would be well.

But it wasn't.  It wasn't meant to be, and while I had a good cry I continuously felt like crying was stupid because there was something out there for us.

At that point, I handed it to God.

That next Monday we got 2 phone calls for interviews in Colorado and AZ.  The AZ guy wanted to interview ELEVEN candidates, which I thought was ridiculous but because it was only 100 more to add AZ onto his Colorado itinerary, we figured it was good experience.  Colorado, on paper looked amazing, but when Drew went to the school it was cold and yucky.  Just not for him.  If you know Drew, you have to know that he's one of the most welcoming, love to help you out and be your good friend type of person.  They just weren't.  They were all about educational standards and blah, blah.  Not a good fit.  Drew went to AZ and he loved it, he loved the pricipal he LOVES the assistant principal, he loves the vibe of the school, he loves the release time seminary building across the street, he loves the band room, he loves the sun, he loves the clouds... well, you get the gist.  He called me like a kid on Christmas.

We learned AZ was only 80%, which just won't work financially.

Hilary, in her mind writes off AZ.

Hilary, in the back of her mind hears "but ASU is right there... ASU, THE school."

Note:  ASU is the school for music professors.  Any of you know Lara?  Her husband went there, and heavens knows I love Lara... and her husband, although I prefer Lara if given the choice. :)  Also, our former band director, and my former bishop Dr. Peterson went there.  They all have glowing things to say about the university and the program.

Drew gets offered the AZ job.

So, I talk to Drew about ASU and he admits that's totally in the back of his mind too.  Drew's wanted to do graduate school for quite some time, and what he wants just isn't available here.  Plus, Drew's an "in class" kind of a guy -- Univeristy of Phoenix isn't his thing (the online thing, not the ACTUAL university of Phoenix, if there is one).

Hilary just can't wrap her mind around the money issue.

{lightbulb goes on} Hilary can work.  And although our dreams were for me to stay at home, maybe that truly isn't our dream. 

I have to admit this was the same way we came to the decision about California.  Drew really liked the school and the area and I sat around crying saying that all my patients would be homosexuals with aids.  Seriously, I remember making that comment.  Judge me all you want.

I find that God's plan for me is often fairly different then my own.  I find that I need a while to absorb things.  I also would have to say that it's harder for the wife to come around because we don't really get the "experience"... I didn't go to the place and just love it.  This change will be hard for me, as I still have a job that I really love, and that job is here.

I also have to say that I found THIS job while searching a board for Texas band directors.  I didn't see it anywhere else, just there.  Is that why I thought Texas was the place, maybe....

I think I'm still in the "coming around to it" phase.  I am worried about the job I'm going to find and how it will all work out, but I am hoping to keep God in charge.  I want to be in an interview and love it like Drew does.  That makes Drew's excitement much more than mine.  For me, my excitement can only be found in real estate pages.  It's hard to be around Drew when he's so excited about how nice they are there and how great the school is.  Sometimes I just want to scream that I have NOTHING TO BE EXCITED ABOUT.  But I'm nice then that {usually}.

I am SUPER excited for a larger house, as long as we can get a loan (short side story -- loan man from AZ said it will be difficult to get a loan as we won't have a paycheck from our new employer yet.  I'm like, how on earth can anyone who moves to a new city get a house then, and he said he'd check into it further -- anyone have experience in this area?).  I'm excited for the people I've already "met" who live there.  I'm excited for friends that I already have who live there.  I LOVE Facebook for all of this.  I have high school friends, and friends who've lived here who are being SO helpful, and Facebook facilitates a lot of that.

Anyway.  Those are my thoughts so far.  And now I must pack some more.  Maybe next week my thoughts will be on staging a house. :)

I do want you to know that this thing is going to be VERY honest.  If you don't want honesty, don't read it.  It's going to show that moving is really hard on a family and a marriage.  Drew and I had a few BIG fights at the beginning of this where we did ask ourselves if we were going to go through this together or not.  We chose to go through it together.  We are a family, we are not perfect, but we love each other very much and we're committed to the promises we have made.  This may just be one of the harder times.  I will say that I am very happy that he has a job that he's excited about, and while that gets me a little excited, I tend to be more of a worrier then an exciter.  In case you couldn't tell.  I feel like my time is coming. :)


  1. I think lots of things about this post:

    1. I am jealous that you are going to AZ. Seriously. I can't tell you what a wonderful period that was in our lives. It could have been the place we were at in our lives, but I know the area had a huge impact, too.

    2. I think that sometimes our answers are given to us simply by what works out. I like what you said about finding this job via looking in Texas. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.

    3. I will not tell you how close to divorce Joel and I have come every time we have moved. Augh. It's a high stress time for sure, but just keep your eye on the goal!

    4. You need a new loan officer. That seriously makes no sense, even factoring for how hard hit AZ was in the housing crisis. Get a second opinion.

    5. Love you. Praying for you.

  2. That is fantastic news Hillary! And I so hear you and appreciate your honesty on the strains these life changes can put on a marriage. a-men. Arizona sounds great!

  3. We always get closer to divorcing when we move than at any other time :)

    I know how you feel, about a lot of this, but boy, it sounds like this might just work out in the most awesome way.

  4. When we went from grad school, to my hubby getting a job (and us looking for our first house -- this is about 3 years ago) our loan officer just asked for proof of what our paychecks were going to be with the new job. No problem with getting a loan. Hope that helps a bit.

  5. Arizona sounds wonderful! especially right now... I need some sun.
    I hope everything goes through...miracles do happen, especially in the money department. :)

  6. I read more in depth about the house thing and I agree with Rebecca, when we moved to Colorado, the loan officer just got proof of employment and how much my husband's salary would be from his new company... that worked just fine. I would go to someone else.

  7. Anonymous4:45 PM

    How does your husband expect to go to grad school while doing a more than full time job?? I just found your blog but maybe I am missing something??


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