Friday, June 10, 2011

Save me. I'm lost.

I must admit, it's hard not to feel forgotten.  It's hard not to feel like prayers weren't answered and that we will live in misery and confusion for the rest of our lives.

This isn't what I wanted.

I talked to Conner about it this AM, which pretty well broke my heart.  We are hoping to rent in one of the two middle schools we'd like him to go to, and then be able to buy something in that area.  He's nervous, and doesn't like the thought of moving twice and while I can take the trials I'm given for myself, the thought of him suffering was what put me over the edge this morning.

That and the fact that I slept like 5 hours after geting home at midnight from work and them calling me at 6 am.  Oh joy.

I'd love it if people have ideas of what to ask people when you're renting.  It's been a while since we played that game... and we're hoping to go month to month which no landlord loves, but it's our need and frankly, we're pretty amazing tenants. :)

Thoughts?  Suggestions?  Hugs?  I will admit when I think about all this year has brought to our family I do feel a little lost.  I hope someone/something saves me soon. :)


  1. I know it seems totally trite, but I also know it is true: We cannot see the end from the beginning. You are not forgotten, the Lord is all knowing and he knows what is best for you. It isn't what you want, but He knows much better than we do. Someday, you'll look back at this and realize just why it all turned out the way that it did. For now, just hold onto your faith, and know that the Lord loves you and hopefully that will be enough.

  2. I wish I knew an easy answer. If there is one, we sure haven't found it. I have felt more lost and forgotten the past several years than ever in my life. The only thing I know to do is keep plugging along and hopefully things will turn for the better soon.

  3. Renting questions:
    Does it have: air conditioning, dishwasher, disposal? Has it ever housed a smoker? (I don't think they smell is ever gone) Are you responsible for yard upkeep (and is a mower included)? Where is the person responsible for fixing things located? (i.e., if the owner is out of state, and hasn't hired a management company, it can be hard to get things repaired). If you do have to sign a lease, what is the penalty for breaking that lease? Can you get out of it easily if you help to find new renters?

    Anyway, that's all I can think of. Hang in there. One of the best (and worst) things about life is that nothing stays the same forever. This situation is sure to get better, and easier, and more comfortable. Good luck!

  4. Ask for a six month contract, with the option to renew with a thirty day notice. That way, if you need to stay longer, they can't kick you out, and if you need to terminate you can walk away. It's sounds better to a landlord than month to month. Make sure they also have something like a 90 day mandatory notice before they can make you leave. That way they can't promise the property to someone else on the assumption that you will not renew.

    Will they replace carpets? Who is responsible for outside maintenance? Garbage and sewer, and other city things, paid with the rent or paid directly to the city? Can you make modifications like putting up a shelf in the garage or painting a bedroom? And make sure you know what things they will use the deposit for upon your termination, and what things you are expected to do. That gives you an idea of what to worry about fixing/finishing, and what to leave.

    Like if they will automatically hire a cleaning service when you leave, you don't need to break your neck doing it at midnight when you move. Maybe you'll be responsible for all the holes in the wall from hanging pictures, but not for re-painting.

    I'm totally an expert at this :-)

  5. Lots of great comments and ideas so far. I wish I could make this all better for you. I don't like living in an apartment complex, but in your situation it is nice because month to month is much easier and there are fewer questions about who is responsible for what. Do you want me to swing by an apartment complex and check it out for you? You'd have to google it, but you might find something nice. They will almost all have pools and a playground- just get a unit close to the playground and it won't feel like you are without a backyard. When you get a place, then you can much more easily walk away and with less stress than if you rent a house. I'm not sure about apartments, but a 3 bedroom 2 bath home in my area runs about 1300-1500/mo sometimes less. Apartments are probably pretty close, with less square footage. If you are going to store your stuff- keep your kitchen stuff and hobby stuff easily accessible, give each kid a bin and say this is your spot for your most precious items that will stay with you. The other things will be in storage. Each kid gets a suitcase of clothing or shares a suitcase depending on the size. Pack a suitcase or box for your first night- sheets for beds or air mattresses, toilet paper, paper plates & cups) change of clothes for everyone, pan or two, whatever you will need the first night to get everyone into bed and fed.

    Just my 2 cents- from someone who has made 10 state to state moves in almost 12 years. For your sons, transition is never easy, but they will have more empathy for the "new kid" after being in that situation and seeing how much work goes into a move. These are life lessons that, while they do hurt will give them skills & perspective they need down the road in college, or missions. It is hard, but in about a year, when things have hopefully worked themselves out, you will feel closer to your family for having leaned upon each other, you will have faith in the Lord after experiencing loss and making sacrifices(sometimes sacrifice is truly that, and not something that we can schedule in at our convenience), and you will come out stronger. Don't be surprised though, that you will feel vulnerable and weak before you are through all of this and on the other side. Go back and listen to GC esp the talks dealing with hardship. They uplifted me as I dealt with my own from many moves and a kid with special needs.


  6. I'm sorry that you have had to deal with one more big disappointment. While we waited for our townhouse to be finished we had to move out of our condo into a rental for... 4 months? Then move again. At the time it's not super fun, and I know harder for you with three kids in a new state (!). But once it is done, it's done. I'm guessing you'll have a much easier time finding the right house once you guys are there. The only other thing I can say is to be kind to yourself during this rough patch!

  7. My friends rented a bank owned property from a bank...not sure how they did that. But have you looked in the area for houses that look vacant or for sale but out of your range to see if you could talk them into renting to you OR ask the local ward if anyone knows of a rental coming open soon etc.

  8. hang in there... I don't have much advice on renting... it's been awhile. We were college students under contract and then it was month to month... I hope you find something great.

    You know, life is just really hard sometimes and it doesn't make any sense or seem fair... but I do know that Heavenly Father is mindful of you and He doesn't give us anything we can't bear.



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