It’s fall. The kids are back to “school” I’m trying to figure out what my life looks like as we slowly move out of quarantine… Also, how I managing being an over-functioner. I wonder if you guys are on the same page as me?
Mentioned in the episode:
Brené Brown Podcast on over functioning.
Producer: Drew Erickson
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Hilary Erickson 0:00
Hey guys, welcome back to the Pulling Curls Podcast. Today on Episode 55, we are just having a check in. Here we are in season two. How’s everybody doing? Let’s untangle it.
Welcome to the Pulling Curls Podcast. I’m Hilary, your curly headed host on the podcast where we untangle everything from pregnancy, parenting and home routines. I want you to know that there are no right answers for every family and I find that simplifying my priorities is almost always the answer. It’s tangled just like my hair.
Okay, friends, before we jump into the meat of this episode, I’d love it if you left a review, it means a lot. It really helps my show gets seen it really doesn’t sound like it makes a big difference, but it totally does. Thank you. Okay, so I was thinking about What I wanted to share today actually had a Disney episode planned actually had a plan in March or May, April.
And then that didn’t happen and it’s still getting pushed off. But I was like, what do we want to talk about? Because I’m recording this pretty close to when we air it, which is unusual for me. I usually record fairly far out. But what do we want to talk about? And I was thinking a lot about what Renee brown calls over functioning and I am a serial over funktioner most nurses are when we are in a crisis, we immediately think how do we help What do we do?
We do we do we do? We do we do? And then the crisis is done. And we burst into tears and then we go home, right? So when COVID hit, I became an over funktioner shocking. I have made a ton of changes to my business. I’ve changed up my newsletter, I’ve changed up my prenatal class, like all these things were big, big changes, lots and lots of work. And I don’t know if any of you guys find like, I just can’t sit still and this is just a time of sitting still and I’m having to remind myself Have that
and then I think of nature and nature’s really good at sitting still right it’s important that things sit still in fact I have a compost pile out back that literally just has to sit there yes we aerated every once in a while we should add some water and stuff like that but in order for it to do its job it just kind of has to sit there and take it’s time to return to what is gonna nourish my plants and stuff like that nature is just like that, you know, Brooks move slowly and yes, there are rushing things but most of nature is very still and I am horrible at it. And I feel like COVID has really given me the opportunity to learn to be still I don’t know if any of you guys feel the same way to or as horrible at it as I am.
I have been waking up at 330 with my brain on fire with ideas for my business and things I’m worried about and all these emotions and feelings. I find myself randomly crying when I get emails from school or whatever like it’s just a lot of roller coaster and I will say that There are really joyous times I have to say I’ve never enjoyed deliveries more, maybe when I started, but it was so long ago. But it’s so nice to have a happy delivery. I think I don’t get
that many happy moments lately. And so when something happy happens, it’s just amazing. And I like crave it like a drug. So I have to say I have had to be extremely mindful about sitting still. And just taking some time to reassess where we’re at where we want to go. I remember when I was little, because you know, we have the GPS now. But so often, you’d be like at Yellowstone, and you’d see people pulled over to the side trying to find out where they were on the map and where they wanted to go. And we’d always think, oh, maybe that person saw a bear. No, because we knew where we wanted to go.
But you know, Yellowstone’s new, not everyone knew where they were going. So I don’t pull off to the side that often I very rarely assess where I’m going and where I want to go. I don’t know if you guys are that same way too. But I think this has really given me an opportunity to pull off to the side a little bit and really think about where I’m going wherever Want to be and all those kind of things? Also, I haven’t had any forced time off. There’s no PTO meetings, there’s no lunch with friends, there’s no dinner out, you know, group date nights, none of those things are planned. You know, we try and schedule in plays and things like that. And I try and have really fun things to look forward to.
But all that has been gone, like I have not been forced socially to, like, chill the heck out. You know, I’m just at home and I’m like, Oh, I should fix that. I should fix that. Like, I’m constantly like, Oh, we should get new blinds. Oh, we you know. Anyway, so I’m saying that I have a really hard time standing so and I think that it’s really important. So some things that I have been doing I have gotten into the art of diamond painting. I don’t know that it’s an art. I don’t ever plan on hanging any of the things that I have made. I probably have five sitting in the store next to me completely done. I just like the idea of doing them. There’s something really cathartic about pushing down the plastic and I love when you like have to push the plastic in and I like snaps in. I like the feeling of all the crystals on the thing.
I’ll put a link in the show notes if you have no idea what I’m talking about. But what I’ve been doing is I Diamond paint, you know, two to three times a week in the afternoon. And I just take some time to listen to a podcast usually like a business podcast just to reassess kind of where I’m going and the things that I’m doing. And if they’re really working, because I have a hard time shifting, like when I’m on one target, you know, even if I find that that target might not even be where I want to go, I have a really hard time shifting from that. So it just gives me an opportunity. My hands are busy, which is really important to me, I am not a person that can just sit still and like look out the window and think because I would immediately start thinking about work or what’s for dinner and those kind of things.
So diamond paintings helps a lot of that and there’s some podcasts that I really love. On Sunday mornings I pull up my diamond painting, I listened to the God more podcasts, the Bernie brown podcasts, as I talked about before, I love Bernie on Sunday mornings. It’s been a new favorite of mine because it really helps me decide where I want to go overall in my life, not just in my business. So I’ve really enjoyed that. I watched the entire Twilight series which because it was a complete waste of time, but it reminded me of back in the day I read all those novels and like what it’s like to be a stupid teenager and all those kind of things. So it was kind of nice, you know, a little stupid TV every now and then can really be helpful. The other thing I’m having a hard time with is coming out of quarantine.
So I was a really staunch like, we are staying home when things were bad. I was like, one grocery visit a week, you know, we’ve tried to order at home and numbers are looking better. And at some point, we’re gonna have to like loosen up a little bit, but I’m that nurse who was like we upped pitocin by two every half an hour. You know, like I have policies and procedures and that’s what we follow. And you know, the policies and procedures are changing and I need to get it together and I’m having a hard time with that my husband and I actually went to a hotel for our anniversary, we pretty much just stayed in the room. We did go down the pool a little bit very easy to social distance.
It was very uncrowded at the hotel. But we went out to dinner for the first time and we actually went to the grocery store together which I had been making sure that only one of us went to the grocery store to make sure that we had as least exposure to contamination as possible. And I was like, Wow, it’s kind of weird to be The grocery store with you. And I kind of missed it. Because a lot of times, that’s what we would do to like get out of the house together as we would go to Costco or the grocery store. I don’t know if you guys are like that, but I’m just having a hard time seeing how I come out of this. And so I’m slowly like adopting new plans. We can’t live in quarantine forever. We shouldn’t live in quarantine forever. So I’m just having a hard time with it. I’m going to get better at it.
But I just wondered if any of you guys are having a hard time with it. And finally, we’ve been in school for a little bit. We are doing virtual school. We’re in Arizona. So the vast majority of school districts in Arizona are online. And I was so nervous about how it was going to be but I have to say teachers are amazing. I think healthcare workers were the heroes of the beginning. Still still clearly heroes but I think right now the teachers are trying so hard to make things engaging in a way that they haven’t had to in the past. And I just really appreciate it. So if you’re a teacher out there who’s been trying to make things work, I appreciate you and you know, your parents appreciate you and they and you don’t even see him. That’s probably the worst part.
You don’t get to see that light bulb in the little kids eyes because you know, it’s hard over zoom. So we appreciate you I just wanted to say I really appreciate teachers and all the effort that schools have had to put into all this. I’m really grateful for all the things that they are doing for our kids. It’s so important because I think we’re just trying to make the best of everything. So that’s where I’m at. I just wanted to give you guys a few thoughts and tell you how I’m working on being an overfunctioner are you in overfunctioner? I’d love to hear it in the comments on this episode.
You can find it pullingcurls.com/podcasts and tell me what you think how things are going for you. This is Episode 55 thanks so much for joining us today. I hope we help smooth out a few of the smiles in your life. We drop an episode every Monday and we always appreciate it when you guys share and review. Until next time, we hope you have a tangle free day.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
I’m a 69 year old mom of 3 kids. My oldest and only daughter is a teacher and mom to 3 kids. I know things are hard for my daughter and her husband, doin their jobs mostly from home but wish they would include me a little in their life—just wish my daughter would pick up the phone when I call. My love is unconditional. They usually go to her husband’s parents lake home on any big occasions where they don’t have to worry about anything. I understand! When they are older like me they will understand better and remember that until you’re “there” you usually can’t see beyond your own situations. I remember feeling like them.
I may not be able to get my oldest daughter and youngest son to answer my calls. I do have 1 middle son who stays more connected. I appreciate that,!
I like to read your blogs Hilary. Yes, it’s bc you also have suffered and made it thru, even though our situations are a bit different! I like to see women triumph!
Hilary Erickson says
Awh, me too!