Why We Don’t Live in Utah

Part one of a retrospective of all the things that bug me about Utah. I must admit my mind is verging on the thoughts of moving back. Our house would buy us somethin’ real per-dy here… being close to family is da’ bomb… I just like it. HOWEVER, I have found some real negatives:
1. HELLO… would a LITTLE humidity be THAT bad of a thing? My hair sucks, my skin sucks, I’m having to lather-up with lotion at every second and I don’t KNOW what to do with my hair other then dunk it in a big vat of V05…. anyway, it’s killing me. It’s also really making me want to cut my hair.
2. Church. OMG, my parents ward is SO old!!!! When I mean old, I mean that in Relief Society I counted 9 people (including myself) under the age of 40. There was one baby in the room and I didn’t hear many comments that I could relate to in my life.
3. Utah accents. I’m not a big fan of the mou-uns in lay-un (you’d have to be from or know a lot of Utahns to get this — but I notice it a LOT when I’m here, we Utahns are too busy bearing children to say our “t’s”.
4. It’s cold. And I know it was hot this summer. Yes, I am a pansy.
5. The Y on the mountain. Now, I am guessing that this particular oddity would wear-off after a while, but every time we turn a corner, Spencer is telling us that there is “another Y” on the mountain. It’s getting old my little friend. As big of a Y fan as I am — they’re ALL THE SAME “Y”.
6. Utah drivers. They don’t need blinkers, they don’t need to let you merge and they don’t need to stay on their side of the road.
7. Have I mentioned my bad hair? It’s really putting a damper on my trip.
8. Seeing people you grew-up with. I met a girl today that was in my freshman ward. I spent a fair amount of church wondering what she thought of me, both thoughts of what kind of a person I was in college (I believe that she and I had a small tiff over a boy, but I am not quite sure) as well as my little weight gain since my 115 pounds from freshman year of college). I don’t think there’s a single person in California that I’ve known for more then 5 years. It’s kind of nice to have that “start-over” feeling.
9. Dry skin. Did I mention putting-on nylons with dry skin is a burden to bear? Almost as bad as shaving ones legs.
10. I like the variety that the Bay Area provides. No one asks me when we’re going to have another baby (unless they’re just wanting me keep-up with my Mormon peeps). Or, if they do it’s out of idle curiousity rather then begging me to assure my eternal salvation. I like that I am open to a lot of things since I moved to the Bay Area. Mostly I’m open to people being different. I’m open to accepting them, loving them and moving on. I think that’s not something that’s not super-high in Happy Valley — acceptance. Unless of course you’re polygamist and you all wear jeans under your dresses. Then, that’s totally cool.

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Comments

  1. says

    I’m trying to see if I could possibly convince you to move to my part of Utah:

    1. We have no Y on the mountain. No letters at all. If you go down to St. George, there is a D…but here, just plain mou-ans.

    2. My ward is nice and young. You could be my neighbor. There’s some gorgeous homes just down the street from my humble dwelling.

    3. I haven’t run into a single soul that I grew up with…not that it couldn’t happen, but the chances are far less likely.

    4. It’s a bit warmer here. I’m not mentioning our freakishly cold winter this year and obvious lack of spring. It’s usually warmer.

    5. I think the drivers are better down here. I really do.

    Ummmm….well….does that counteract our lack of humidity and the fact that the Utah accents are probably even WORSE down here (if that’s even possible)? Small town, not much variety either.

    But I’m here. :)

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