I am teaching Relief Society on Sunday. It’s about love. It’s a real issue for me, since much if it is about family love, and marital love. I am in love with neither of these things right now.
I am losing my mind.
- I haven’t worked in about 2 weeks, and I’m not doing so til’ late next week. This is the only alone time I have during this time of year.
- I am so tired that I’m not doing anything for “me”. In fact, I let part of my cleaning slide yesterday, and of course now I’m having to make it up today (which usually only happens when my blood sugar is 37 and I am in a coma).
- My husband is very busy with his job right now but I feel like I’m parenting 3 boys. Or parenting 2 boys and being the maid, chef, personal assistant for the other. I get that he’s busy with work, and I know that when Thanksgiving break comes he’ll realizing that I’m pulling the handcart with not only all our stuff, but he’s lounging in the back as well. It always happens, I know it will, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not at my tipping point.
- Because I’m so tired it always leads to behavior issues in the kids because I’m too lazy (and then a busy ornery husband comes home and doesn’t seem to help our little mix).
- On Monday night at dinner we gave our highs and lows for the day, and mine was going to my pap smear appointment (well, my doctor doesn’t do pap smears on pregnant ladies unless they’re high risk but a speculum appointment doesn’t sound all that fun now either, does it?).
- When I tell my kids that mom’s on the edge they push harder, and then say “wow, you’re in a bad mood.”
I’m on the verge of tears as I type this. And I am NOT a crier. I blame the hormones and my stupid diet that is ever-unchanging at this point (even if it involves a delightful amount of cheese).
So I have 3 goals for the day, in hopes it will help my lesson.
1. No more looking at the news. I can’t read any more about how people hate me and my church. It’s their problem, not mine.
2. I am gonna proof pictures for at least 10 minutes.
3. I’m gonna write down 3 positive things about all the loves of my life. Hopefully working on the lesson will be just what I need. And hopefully it won’t end with me drooling, asleep on the keyboard.