No bambino

Alright, the Ericksons have a little secret. We’ve been trying to get pregnant for about 2 years… a little under that. Of course, the word trying means different things to different people. We haven’t done ovulation kits or fertility. I just don’t feel like that’s the way to go.

Anyway, we have now come to the marching band break (we take 3 months off so that a prospective child isn’t born during marching band season — plus, it’s important for me to have a break). I really feel like I need breaks in this process. Although it’s nice to know that I can use sudafed and xicam for the next few months it also comes with a big sigh… I’ve gotten prepared to parent three. We bought bunk beds, we bought a minivan, I measured to make sure a crib could still fit in the kids room…

I’m sure many of you have been in this position. SO many people wonder why we aren’t flowing with kiddos. Truth is, it took about 18 months to get pregnant with Spencer. I had NO idea it’d take this long this time. Being Mormon brings the pressure of having loads and loads of kids, and let’s not even go into the people who think I need a girl…

I’ve had suggestions to get the sticks, I’ve had suggestions to go on clomid….problem is, I’m really happy with the way my life is now. My mind keeps going back to Nephi and his bow, long story short — Nephi learns that God doesn’t give us trials that we can’t withstand. However, I have always also believed that we can bring upon ourselves trials that will perhaps be more then we can take — and honestly, perhaps child #3 would be my trial, the one that would bring me to the brink. I don’t deal well with chaos, I don’t deal with without individual time for my kids. I am a very hands-on mom. I watch shows with big families where the older kids parent the little ones and I get sick, it’s just not my style. That doesn’t mean that Conner can’t put toothpaste on S’s toothbrush though. :)

Anyway, I thought I’d just share this part of our lives. So far it’s mostly been people who we’re really close to that I’ve told. However, I know a lot of my blog readers have been in similar situations. I was hoping to get some kind words and thoughts. None of them involving ovulation kits, or thoughts that perhaps I truly am a man. I can think those thoughts on my own. :)

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Comments

  1. says

    I understand! It was a hard (ok hard is really not the right word) for us…roller coaster of emotions and thoughts. The best thing to know is that the Lord is fully aware of you. He knows us and is in the details of our lives. He will directs us if we put our trust in Him. I know you know this, but I think it is always nice to hear:)

  2. says

    Drat! I just lost a very long comment I had tried leaving so I’ll just keep it shorter this time. We had a similar experience with #2 and our kids ended up 5 years apart (not by choice). Then along came #3 18 months after #2! Talk about crazy surprises. But looking back – Troy and I were in different parts of our lives in both those situations and I know for me having the second two that close versus the first two worked for us. I honestly think if it would have been reversed I might have had a very hard time. So for me, I do have faith that Heavenly Father is aware of us too. And even when it’s hard for us to understand why things are happening the way they are, he knows the master plan. We’ll be rooting for you guys!

  3. says

    (((HUGS))) to you, Hilary. I think about having a third child sometime myself, but I think #2 (born 18 months after #1) is the one that is forcing me to the brink right now (through no fault of hers–just where I am right now). (((HUGS))))

  4. says

    Children always keep us guessing. Whether they are actually conceived, in the womb, or driving us crazy here on Earth. We’re trying to figure out number 2 right now and it all just seems confusing. You can never plan our lives and that’s so hard when it’s all out of our control. I hear ya!

  5. says

    I like the comments so far….that the Lord knows us so well and all the details of our lives and what will be best for you. We get LOADS of pressure about having a girl and in the end, I’m like you. I feel happy with our life the way it is right now. I feel stretched caring for and giving individual attention to the three I have. Number 3, by the way, rocks your world!!! In any case, just keep doing what feels right and keep asking the Lord to confirm that it’s His will. In some ways it would be easier on me to just turn up pregnant because then I’d feel like it was the “will of God” and then I’d assume that He would make me equal to the task. As for deciding on my own, I just don’t think I can handle another….and I think that’s o.k.

  6. says

    Oh yeah…Heavenly Father knows what’s best. And I think that if those other things would help, you’d feel like you should do it. Took me a year to get Sophia here, but I also am thankful it takes so long because no way in heck could I parent kids that close together. Also, no way in heck could I be pregnant that close together.

    Have a nice break, and the Lord will let you know what’s best when it’s all over.

  7. says

    Well being a mother of only two I support the two boys option. Can you imagine three boys? I can’t and that kind of put the breaks on for me. I tease Matt that we will adopt later when we are older. Seriously though I know your faith empasizes large families but I don’t think it is cut out for everyone. God knows your individual quirks and what you can and can’t handle. I have seen Mom’s of large families when they are young and when they are old and you know what – the chaos never stops – never. And then when they have families of their own you’ll be that more pulled in different directions. So that is my two cents. Don’t feel pressure!!

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