In this episode of The Pulling Curls Podcast, Hilary chats with Dani Morin about the many paths to pregnancy, navigating tough relationships with healthcare providers, and whether you can really trust AI for pregnancy advice. Dani shares her unique experience of becoming a mom through different methods, including home insemination, and opens up about the challenges she faced after loss and while being a single parent. The discussion is honest, real, and packed with supportive insights for anyone on their own parenthood journey.
Find it here on Apple or Spotify Podcasts
Big thanks to our sponsor The Online Prenatal Class for Couples — if you’re looking to get prepared with your partner, it’s your best option!
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 I love, Love, LOVE that you’re here preparing — but I gotta ask if your partner is just as on board for how different things are going to be. If you’re thinking you’d like for you to BOTH get prepared I recommend this. Check it out!
Today’s guest is Dani Morin child safety advocate and CPST on TikTok. Helping parents make informed parenting decisions and providing product research to help moms make the perfect baby registry.
Find her on: Tiktok (@danimorin13) or Instagram (@danimorin_)
Links for you:
Baby Proofing 101: Dani Morin’s Mission for Baby Safety Awareness (her previous episode)
Timestamps:
00:00 “Life-Altering Realization of Parenthood”
05:58 Overcoming Grief and Rediscovery
15:20 “Embracing Parenthood Despite Loss”
20:26 Navigating Fertility Challenges Alone
23:06 “Sperm Donation Normality Perception”
29:51 IVF Expenses and Fertility Misconceptions
33:07 Vanishing Twin Syndrome Explained
40:15 Struggles Changing High-Risk Doctor
43:24 Alone for Life-Changing Ultrasound
50:10 Plane Safety and Medical Workaround
56:11 Birth Center Inequality
01:01:18 Three Key Takeaways from Episode
Keypoints:
- Dani Morin shares her experiences with three very different paths to pregnancy, from an unplanned pregnancy in her 20s to home insemination as a single mom, and eventually a natural conception after getting married.
- The episode highlights the emotional aftermath of Dani’s first pregnancy, including the life-changing impact of her son’s tragic loss and her journey through grief, sobriety, and rediscovering her sense of purpose as a mother.
- Dani describes how early parenting trends and online information influenced her choices—she candidly discusses how she embraced “all-natural” parenting, even using products later shown to be unsafe, and how she has since shifted to an evidence-based approach.
- Hilary and Dani emphasize that unplanned pregnancies are far more common than most people believe, and that being surprised by pregnancy doesn’t make anyone less of a mom.
- Dani details her experience with home insemination using donor sperm as a cost-effective and empowering option for single women or couples with fertility challenges, demystifying and normalizing this choice.
- The conversation explores the stigma, criticism, and unsolicited advice Dani encountered online and in real life regarding her non-traditional paths to motherhood.
- Dani shares practical tips for others considering home insemination, including financial readiness, emotional support, and building a “village” before taking that step.
- The difficulties of navigating healthcare, especially when you’re high risk or dissatisfied with your provider, are explored—Dani discusses real challenges in switching OBs, accessing support, and advocating for yourself during pregnancy.
- Dani and Hilary discuss the limitations—and some dangerous pitfalls—of using AI and online sources for pregnancy advice, and stress the value of trustworthy, evidence-based resources.
- Throughout the episode, the importance of compassion from healthcare providers, honest conversations, and finding the right support network for your unique pregnancy and parenting journey shines through.
Producer: Drew Erickson
names removed 262 Dani Morin — getting pregnant
[00:00:00] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Hey guys. Welcome back to the Pulling Curls podcast. Today, on this episode, we are talking about three different things. So the first one is gonna be different ways to get pregnant and how that affects your pregnancy. Stay tuned. This is gonna be a good one. Also, managing your provider when you don’t really like them, and it’s gonna be real difficult to switch. And then finally, is AI okay to ask pregnancy questions to? So let’s untangle it.
[00:00:21] Hi, I’m Hilary, a Serial over Complicator. I’m also a nurse mom to three and the curly head behind pulling curls and the pregnancy nurse. This podcast aims to help us stop overcomplicating things and remember how much easier it is to keep things simple. Let’s smooth out those snarls with pregnancy and parenting untangled the Pulling Curls podcast.
[00:00:51] This episode of the Pulling Curls podcast is sponsored by the online prenatal class for couples. If you are looking to get prepared for your upcoming birth, please join me. It truly is the easy way to get prepared.
[00:01:01] Today’s guest is a child safety advocate and CPST on TikTok. She loves to provide informed research on product safety for parents who are getting their registry together. I wanna introduce today’s guest, Dani Morin.
[00:01:13] Hey Dani. Welcome back to the Pulling Curls podcast.
[00:01:16] Dani Morin: I’m so excited to be back. I feel like this time you and I have gotten to know each other so well that it’s just really friends talking to friends. So things may just may get intimate here because we are talking about conception in every different way that you could think.
[00:01:36] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: not every, I mean you didn’t, so she never did IVF, like full on IVF, right?
[00:01:41] Dani Morin: I never did IVF people get that so confused, which we’ll get into
[00:01:47] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Yeah. Okay, so Dani has been pregnant three times in all three very different ways. So most off, I want people to understand that there are different options for people to get pregnant. And your second option, I think is a viable one that a lot of people don’t even consider because they just think it’s too out there. Right? Like, I told your story to my mom and she was like aghast at it. And I was like, why? What is the difference between her going into the office and having it done and doing it at home? But anyway, the just like, a spoiler for everybody. Okay, pregnancy number one, got pregnant.
[00:02:20] Dani Morin: So pregnancy number 1, 24 years old, I was working at a wine company. I was, you know, living the lavish lifestyle of a 24-year-old, kind of like an Alex Earl, right? I was on yachts, I was living in Newport Beach very much up into the party scene. And it was one of those situations where I fell pregnant, having some fun, having fun.
[00:02:45] So the great thing about that pregnancy though is I never, thought I wanted to be a mom and I found out I was pregnant. I was like well into my second trimester, by the way. And I knew, because, you know, I was a big partier, but I could not put down even a glass of wine. I was like vomiting. I’m like, what is going on?
[00:03:05] So I had gone like a month or so without like even having like a sip of alcohol. It was making me so sick. I should have known right then. But I had had a doctor, and so this is for all the girls listening. I had a doctor tell me like, well you have PCOS and a tilted Ute. Not maybe is it a tilted uterus or a tilted?
[00:03:26] A tilted something. So, you know, ’cause.
[00:03:28] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: cervix.
[00:03:29] Dani Morin: A tilted cervix, it was a tilted something. And so I was probably gonna have a tough time ever conceiving. I probably wouldn’t. And I’m like, oh fine by me because you know I’m gonna live in a high rise someday and just be like single and successful. Like that’s just the vibe that I was like putting out 24-year-old me.
[00:03:45] And it’s so crazy because the second I found out I was pregnant with that baby, you know, I go in and like I knew the gender that day. I go in and I know the gender and everything that day. And I had had this like crazy emotion come over me. I cannot even explain it. I have not had this with my other pregnancies, but this crazy emotional connection to this child. And again, we’ve gone into loss and stuff, so I think my other pregnancies, I haven’t had this immediate connection because of my fear of loss. But I had this emotional, crazy connection of just wanting to do everything to make sure that this baby was safe and taken care of.
[00:04:30] And, in the womb and just like the best baby products and all this stuff. And like, I became like, mom 5,000 overnight. Like it was, it was this crazy thing. And I realized at that point I was like, my purpose on this earth is to be a mom. And 10 days prior it was completely opposite. Like, oh, I’m totally fine never having kids. So sometimes things happen that give you a different perspective on life and getting pregnant with my son, Deacon, was just that. Like what I thought my purpose was, was completely different than when I found out I was pregnant. And I’m like, this is my sole purpose and I will do everything to be like the best mom I can.
[00:05:13] Now we’re not gonna dive too much into the grief, but when he was 18 months old, he was strangled by a Baltic amber teething necklace at a negligent daycare. That’s a whole thing. If you guys go on my social media, you could dive more into that. So I lost him around almost 19 months old. And that ruined me, completely shattered me, ruined me. Again, I had just found my purpose and that was like in motherhood and being this boy’s mom. And I was a single mom and I thought I was doing so well with that. And this tragic thing happened and it ruined me. To the point where I, you know, was making really bad choices. I did not know how to grieve. I was medicating with alcohol and other things.
[00:06:01] And I just was like, hoping not to wake up. Like I just, that was just not something I wanted to do anymore, was like live on this earth without being a mother and being that boy’s mom. I did end up getting help for that a couple years into my grief. I just was like, if I’m gonna keep waking up, I don’t want to keep waking up like this.
[00:06:24] Like, there’s has to be more to life than, than this grief and like this pain. And I got my life back together and I just kind of saw things skyrocket. Some of which was sharing my story and opening up about my truth and my story on social media. Believe it or not, I think it was a huge part.
[00:06:42] I mean that and the rehab. But, I think it was a huge part to kind of just living my truth and these are the things that happened and this is how I got pregnant. This is how he passed away. This is the guilt that I’m dealing with. These are the struggles that I have. And now I’m sober going through all of this again.
[00:07:05] But like just in a few years, I literally saw my life skyrocket and it has not stopped. So, I guess now’s the point. We could get into the very controversial subject of my next birth. And you can stop and ask all the questions because I want people to understand that when I am telling you about how I got pregnant with my second child. Who’s now almost five, by the way. All I knew.
[00:07:33] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: really quick. I wanna stop
[00:07:34] Dani Morin: Yeah.
[00:07:35] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I was thinking it was
[00:07:36] Dani Morin: Okay.
[00:07:36] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: too, how you were talking about how you like turned into mama bear and you wanted to do like everything natural with your first one, right? It turned on
[00:07:46] Dani Morin: Yes,
[00:07:46] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: natural cloth diapering all feet on the ground, like in
[00:07:51] Dani Morin: yes. Okay. I’m so glad that you brought that up because there was, and I had gotten vulnerable with you on this topic at that table actually. And that’s just the gems of Mom 2.0. You just start, you know, word vomiting, your vulnerability. But so when I found out I was pregnant, I thought like, all these people are gonna look down on me for how I became pregnant, right?
[00:08:17] And so I’m gonna prove everyone wrong and I’m gonna be the top mama dog out there. Like, I’m gonna have the best rated car seat at the time. I’m gonna, you know, and then in 2015, it was very much the all natural mama, right? So you breastfeed until your kid goes to kindergarten and like you do not put a regular diaper on your kid.
[00:08:41] You cloth diaper. You do not use regular wipes. You make your own wipes, which is like grape seed oil. And at the time, lavender, which we know is like, you never put lavender on like a boy’s genitals. Like I don’t, it was just the crazy thing, the teething, the baltic amber teething necklaces, which were part of the, how he died. Those were like your badge of honor. Like if you were taking your kid out to Target and he had on a baltic amber teething necklace, like those mamas knew you were all natural mama. And it was just this, you know, this whole thing of, everything’s natural. And I really fell into that and I held a lot of guilt about the baltic amber teething necklace for the longest.
[00:09:23] I still do, to be honest. But I have come to terms with the fact that I was doing the best that I could with the information put in front of me and the information that I was consuming. So at the time, and you are an OG blogger, so you know this, but like at the time in 2014- 15, so I was like pregnant in 2014, 2014, 15, 16.
[00:09:49] The blogger life was like a real big thing. We didn’t have really Instagram or we had Facebook, but we didn’t really have all these things going on that we do now. We didn’t have pediatricians making videos. We didn’t have the experts out there like yourself, like making videos and stuff like that. I didn’t even know what the AAP was like. Don’t even ask me what those acronyms stand for. And so we had these mama bloggers and so when we would Google, you know, all natural remedies or safety or whatever, this is what was popping up on our Googles right, was these mom blogs, which are not reputable at all. I could Google right now, like, “can I do meth while pregnant?” And I’ll find something that supports that. Like, it’s out there. Like people anywhere could write anything that they want online. And so I fell into these like all natural trends. And I was not, not that I wasn’t open to the evidence based. It just was not what was being populated in front of me at the time.
[00:10:51] Now I think people definitely know that they can find the evidence or they can find the topics that, that are gonna support their narrative or how they wanna parent and they’re gonna choose the latter. So it’s a little bit different now and we are seeing kind of a similar thing happening in 2025 with the all natural, the anti-vax, anti evidence, anti pediatrician, anti doctor.
[00:11:21] We’re seeing that again now in 2025. But it was pretty heavy in like 2015. And I definitely fell into that trap. And it took me a while to climb out of this crunchy, crunchy, holistic, homeopathic life. It took me even, I was still lingering a little bit when I had my second child. I’m like, come on, you know better.
[00:11:46] Like, you know better. Like, that sounds good, but that is not safe. So, yeah. So I was sucked into that. But, I have come to, I guess, realization and I guess a little bit of peace. I’ll say I’ve come to a little bit of peace with the fact that there wasn’t anything out there saying that the baltic amber teeth necklaces were bad.
[00:12:07] Now it’s all you’re gonna find. But at the time, thousands of kids were wearing ’em. This was the information put in front of me that instead of giving your kids Tylenol, this is going to help. We know it’s a hoax now and it’s a whole thing, but, i, I do feel that even at that time.
[00:12:23] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: at uh, mom two.
[00:12:24] Dani Morin: I know. And, I do feel like, and we could get into that too. But I do feel like at, at this point, I was the best mom that I could be for that baby with the information that I had.
[00:12:37] And so I’ve actually changed my tone online to how I talk to parents when I see moms using things, and then I’m like, Hey, just so you know, like those aren’t recommended. Here’s some evidence to prove it. And then they’re on the defense and I’m like, you know what? They’re on the defense because they’re doing the best with the information that they got. And that’s an ad for a teething necklace, you know?
[00:12:59] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Yeah.
[00:13:00] Dani Morin: Or whatever it might be that’s, a mommy blog about, you know, bed sharing or whatever. So it’s whatever they find. It’s just that like they’re, so, my tone has changed a little bit. But yeah, with the teething necklace at Mom 2.0, I had a ton of people coming up to me saying, you should go tell that mom your story because her baby’s wearing a teeth necklace.
[00:13:21] And I’m like, you should go tell that mom my story and just point to me and say that mom doesn’t have a son anymore because of that necklace and you’re wearing it. I was like, there’s a time and place and I’ll never go up to a mom like at a Starbucks in front of a bunch of people and be like, like in line in front of people, and being like, oh, that necklace is what killed my kid.
[00:13:40] I would never do that. I used to. Now I’ll wait and see like, Hey, can I get that mom alone privately and say something. Mom 2.0 and there’s thousands of moms there and everybody’s feeling judged. Sorry, I have a little acid reflex from the pregnancy.
[00:13:55] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Shocking.
[00:13:56] Dani Morin: so bad. .
[00:13:58] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: So many people have unplanned pregnancies and I think they all feel like no one else has an unplanned pregnancy. But as a nurse, when you’re going through prenatals, ’cause your doctor asked you at your first appointment, was this planned, unexpected, unwanted. So many people say unplanned and so I never want people to think just because they weren’t planning on this, that somehow they’re a worse mom. And, just in case people are listening who are like, yeah, that’s me, like I’m pregnant and wasn’t expecting it, you’re still an amazing mom. That doesn’t, that doesn’t mean anything about you going forward. Hopefully, I wish somebody had told Dani of 2015 that.
[00:14:33] Dani Morin: You know what’s so funny is, is how I look back at it, is that people were very upset with how I got pregnant, right? But when that baby was here, like that all seemed to go away. And I remember at his funeral, like seeing people show up there and like I was able to pull comments that they left on my pregnancy announcement.
[00:14:54] And I’m like, oh, it’s funny that like you cared about him now that he is alive and now dead. But like when I was pregnant, I was this, this, this, and these names that you left in the comments. But like my whole thing is that, once the babies are here, it does not matter how they came to be.
[00:15:10] Like they are so loved on and, it does not matter. And people have unplanned pregnancies while married. Like it’s, you know what I mean? Like, they happen all the time. These are things that happen. And for me it was the best thing that happened.
[00:15:24] I actually get asked a lot, and I’ve never done a video on this, but I get asked quite a bit, like in one-on-one conversations. Like if you knew that you were going to have a child that was gonna die at 18 months. Like, would you have, you know, because I, I got pregnant in this weird way. Like, would you have done it again?
[00:15:44] And my answer is always 100,000 times over. Like the lessons learned, the value of becoming a mom, learning my purpose, of having this love that I’ve never, ever, ever known or experienced before is a love like that of a child. To be able to do that again, I would 100% sign up for it. Even though it would come with the grief and the alcohol and the rehab and the recovery and all of these other things, I would still choose to do that again.
[00:16:15] So, and that’s just like my story, but it’s something that gets asked. I sat on it for the first time and I’m like, and it was too close to the death, you know what I mean? But now I could sit back almost 10 years later and I’m like, I would do it 100 million times over.
[00:16:31] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: That’s amazing.
[00:16:32] ,
[00:16:32] Then you decided you wanted another one.
[00:16:34] Dani Morin: yeah, so I was a couple years into my sobriety life was going really good.
[00:16:39] I had, at my corporate job gotten rep of the year, a couple years in a row. I was starting to do social media by accident. I was just sharing my story to honestly just help. I have a big thing, like sometimes when you share your truth, you’re helping others, and in turn, I felt like I was doing good in my son’s name and doing the safety advocacy and stuff like that, like.
[00:17:01] I felt like I was making him proud and I was making myself proud and it felt really good. And I just really wanted to be a mom. Now, I had started dating, I was going on numerous dates every single week. It was very weird. I just was, this is just not what I want. And I was like finding myself, like, on these dates, being like, could I settle for this?
[00:17:26] Like, and I’m like, why would you wanna just settle to have. Like, my goal was to be a mom again, and I just don’t know if I was wanting to date and wanting a boyfriend or a husband. And I wasn’t finding like that match. And so I started, I had gone to HRC Fertility. They had a fertility night where they were going over IVF options and, they had this fertility night. So I was like, I’m gonna walk up there. The hospital’s like walking distance to my house. I was like, I’m gonna walk up there and sit in on this and hear about IVF. I really just wanted to know what it would cost to do IVF. So I go in there and it was definitely like a salesy thing.
[00:18:06] Like, this is like a money maker, like I realized. But they went into sperm donors. A lot of people that were there actually were married couples where the guy was sterile. And I had never heard of something like that before. So a lot of people there were trying to figure out. So they had like the sperm donation, I think like California cryo might have been there, like some of the sperm donation.
[00:18:29] There was like, it was a salesy thing, like use our services and stuff. So, I never even knew that that was even a thing. So I did do a consultation with them. I remember the doctor in our meeting, like had, like fallen asleep. Anyways, it was like a weird situation. I was like asking what the steps were gonna be and, I had ordered some sperm from a sperm bank, and I was planning on doing IUI. So I, so there’s IVF, and this is, okay, I’m gonna break this down because this is, everyone’s like, did you choose the gender? I’m like, oh my God, they have no idea what I did. Okay, so IVF is where they take the sperm, they put it into the egg and they insert that into the uterus.
[00:19:15] And you could tell me if I’m using these terms wrong. Okay.
[00:19:18] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: All these
[00:19:18] Dani Morin: IUI. Okay. So IUI is where they kind of take like a catheter and they place the sperm directly as close to the egg as possible. So some men have issues with mobility of sperm to where they got the sperm count, the sperms good and clean and all this stuff.
[00:19:38] But for some reason it’s not swimming as it should to the egg. So IUI sometimes like gives the egg, gives the sperm a better chance to penetrate the egg. So to speak. So they used kind of like a catheter. So that was gonna be the option I did because I’m like, I’ve gotten pregnant before. I don’t think I need IVF.
[00:19:57] Well, we were doing this whole thing and because I had, you know, tilted cervix or tilted uterus and PCOS because I’d been diagnosed with that before I was using that and to get IUI covered by insurance. Well, you cannot get IUI covered by insurance until you’re 35 years old, which I did not know.
[00:20:16] So what I thought was gonna cost me like $2,500 was gonna cost me close to 12,000. And I was like, that’s gonna be a negative. I’m crying in the office and I’m like, my whole plan, you know, I was supposed to start the medications, which are on their own like $2,000. So, this nurse kind of like pulls me aside and she’s like, ” you should go on Facebook and join the lesbian communities and they’ll tell you the ways to have a baby on your own at home.” And I’m like, “psychotic? No.” So I had gotten in the car with my mom and I was like, “yeah, I had this idea of you know, getting pregnant on my own, but it’s not gonna work out.”
[00:21:00] And my mom had kind of said something like in a joking fashion where she was like, “what if though you like found somebody and like, you know, friendly or something and you could like get pregnant that way.” So I was like thinking, I’m like, and she’s like, I mean, don’t do that, but like, she’s like, I know, it’s just, this is like what you want this so bad?
[00:21:25] And I went home and like I slept on it and I’m like. No, but for real, like how are the lesbians, like how are they having babies? Are they all going through IVF-IUI? So I find a lesbian group and they’re like, join this group, which is, home insemination is what it’s called. And shout out to the lesbian community for opening your arms wide open and teaching me the ways of how this works.
[00:21:53] There’s a science to, I mean, they taught me the way. So I was on the home insemination group. I ended up finding single mom by choice group. Now I’ve not been on Facebook since probably five years. But I found, single mom by choice group. I found home insemination group. And the home insemination is where, now some people find like live partners that will produce sperm into a cup and then they inseminate it more like in a live situation. I had ordered sperm already, so I just had that then shipped to my house instead of to the IUI place and or to the fertility clinic. And I did it myself. So there was a whole science behind it. You know, you let it thaw for 20 minutes and then it’s basically like a syringe, so smaller than a tampon and you just put it up there and you wait 30 minutes.
[00:22:46] And I got pregnant on the first try. First vile, first try. But these women walked me through it, exactly what to do. And then I thought it would be a good idea to, after I was like nine months pregnant, to make a video of how I did it. And the internet had some things to say. And it’s so funny because I had been researching how I was gonna do this for about seven months before I pulled the trigger.
[00:23:14] So all I thought in my mind, so I had gone to the fertility clinic where I met, there was all these like couples there where the husbands were sterile. So everything was about sperm donation stuff. So in my mind, I had gotten so wrapped up in this that in my mind the only way people were conceiving these days was sperm donation in my, in my mind.
[00:23:36] Like, so when people were like, “oh my God, this is shocking.” I’m like, is it like, this is pretty normal? Because what I’d been going through and like what I was like presented with and the groups that I was in, like this was the most normal thing. So I had to take a step back and be like, people are shocked about this. You know, and I made it very clear in this video, the first thing I said was, I am reviewing my finances because mind you, I got knocked up with my first child, young, in my twenties. And although at the time I thought I was making a lot of money. Oh, you do not equate for your $1,500 of daycare every month and $500 of groceries, clothes, and diapers, or whatever you need.
[00:24:19] And you are not equating for all this other money of this other human that you have to raise. When I had my son, Deacon, I did have to move home. There was no way I was gonna be able to pay rent and then also put him in daycare and work and pay for all these things. Like, so the first thing I ever did in that video was I was like, you have to look at your finances first and foremost.
[00:24:41] Like the last thing you want is now. I figured it out with my son, Deacon. I moved in with my mom and it was great and I love that she was a huge part of his life and my sister was living at there at the time and she like, I love that it worked out that way, but I want people to know. A lot of people just account for how much it costs to get pregnant. They’re not thinking of childcare, groceries, clothing, school. They’re not thinking of all this other stuff. So I’m like, you need to think about this and make sure if you are going to purposely do this, that you do it with intent and that you are set up to the best of your ability? What? Like financially, emotionally.
[00:25:19] I also talked about, I had a lot of help. Like I had my mom, like I knew I was gonna have a village of support already. So I just gave people, I was like, before I dive into how I did this, like these are things that you really need to think about. But everyone’s biggest thing was like, my son was gonna end up in jail because statistics without a father, you know, all this stuff.
[00:25:43] And I’m like, well, those are statistics, so some people don’t end up in jail. You know what I mean? Like, but there was a lot of that. Now my son, I did make sure had a father figure from the day he was born, which was my brother, who is a huge part of my son’s life and has been since that day. And so, I did make sure that I had thought all of these things through, and I think when I made the video, it was at the time, you can, tiktoks are only a minute.
[00:26:12] So my video was 58 seconds. So it’s like, how do you explain all this in 58 seconds? And a lot of people in the comments were like, you should have just, you know, gotten drunk and like hooked up with someone. I’m like, no, I’ve done that before. Like, this is the better option for me at this point.
[00:26:28] So, in the comments I was like, really catty and funny about it, which is what I think made the video go more viral because people are like, oh, these comments are not even phasing this girl. Like, these people are writing vulgar, vulgar, vulgar things. But what I realized, I’m like, they don’t understand also.
[00:26:46] So I had not told people that I lost a child before I was gonna take that to the grave actually, when I had first posted this like video on TikTok. I had very much opened up on the Facebook and some of the other apps. But TikTok is its own thing. So, people were confused like, what just makes?
[00:27:03] And I’m like, I was a mother before. Like, I know what I was getting into. So that’s how I was able to plan for this. Which gave me another leg up, just kind of on motherhood on what to expect. So I had to kind of come on the TikTok and tell people like, “Hey, this is kind of what happened and why I made this choice. And everybody’s choice is different.” So since I’ve posted that video, I’ve had a lot of moms and women reach out to me. One mom reached out, I wanna say she lived maybe Atlanta or something. She’s a lawyer, she’s 40. She got out of a relationship for seven years. It was not going anywhere. She realized this was not her person.
[00:27:42] She had no idea that she could get pregnant this way. She was planning on doing $40,000 for IVF. And like, she’s onto her second baby, single mom by choice. She’s successful. She has these two kids now. And her life is very fulfilled in that way. There is another mom, I think she’s onto her second baby.
[00:28:00] She’s from Florida. She had reached out. I had kind of taught her the ways. And, you know, she had all this support from her dad and her family. And I think she’s now on her second baby too. But like, already successful in her mid thirties. And was feeling like that pull to motherhood. But was like, “oh, I thought I was gonna have to save up 40, $45,000 for IVF. Like, I had no idea that this was an option.” A lot of girls were like, “thank you so much. Like I’ve been with my boyfriend, he’s about to propose and I hate him, but I just like really wanna be a mom.” And I’m like, okay, don’t bring me into this. But like, I gave women another option to take life into your own hands, essentially responsibly, I hope.
[00:28:43] Now there would be 20 year olds reaching out to me and I’m like, live your life. No, I’m not even gonna entertain you. Live your life. You know,
[00:28:53] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Yeah.
[00:28:53] Dani Morin: wanna be a, I’m like, you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into. I’m like, live your life. Hit me up when you’re 30. You know?
[00:28:59] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Right.
[00:29:00] Dani Morin: So, ,
[00:29:00] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: it’s such a viable option
[00:29:01] Dani Morin: yeah.
[00:29:02] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: ‘ cause there’s plenty of people who out there find out their partner sperm can’t make it up there or they’re sterile and could try this and save so much money. Right. There’s, there’s a lot of people
[00:29:13] Dani Morin: Yes. Well, and I think a lot of people just don’t know it as an option or they think it’s an unsafe option. Now, I did have a fertility clinic stitch my video. And, they’re like, this is not a safe option. Like you definitely should, you know, come in and do IVF and IUI. It’s the safer option. So like I had on my other account, my Zippy Mom account, I was like, “oh, can you explain like why, what’s unsafe about, about it seems just like sex essentially.”
[00:29:48] And They could not come up with really a way except I realized, I was like, okay, so you’re just like hoping that the moms will spend. You don’t want moms that know that they’re fertile to not spend the 12,000 or $45,000 on IVF. Like, so I think people get in their minds, like going to a doctor’s office is just probably safer.
[00:30:06] But sex and this, it’s the same thing. And so they could not, so what their video back to my comment was, ” well you’ll have a better chance.” And I’m like, if you’re fertile, you’re fertile. You know? So, I got pregnant on the first try, you know, and I’ve clearly that doctor that told me tilted cervix, PCOS thing, you can’t get pregnant. That was a lie. So if, if doctors are telling you guys that just, don’t rely on that as truth. And now I’m pre,
[00:30:34] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: either. Breastfeeding, A lot of
[00:30:35] Dani Morin: yeah.
[00:30:36] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: you can’t get pregnant while you’re breastfeeding. Wrong.
[00:30:38] Dani Morin: Yeah, wrong. So many, that’s probably the robot, saying that. But yeah, so now I’m pregnant with twins, which I also got pregnant pretty quickly. I did have one cycle that I was like tracking ahead of time, but it was the cycle I took out the IUD, so I’m like, maybe that counts, maybe that doesn’t.
[00:30:56] There’s, you know, six week period that you gotta let that rest. But, and then I, I’m pregnant now, twins, so there’s that.
[00:31:05] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: clo or
[00:31:05] Dani Morin: But
[00:31:06] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: right? No. No egg dropping
[00:31:08] Dani Morin: no, so, even when I got pregnant via home insemination, I didn’t take any medication. I took, well, I will tell you what I took. I did vitamin D, I was taking a prenatal vitamin DI was taking something called avocitil, which was for PCOS, which I’d been taking for a while.
[00:31:30] And I was taking something called Vitex. All of these things you could get at Sprouts. Okay, that’s just your regular supplements. Now, Vitex. So my second pregnancy with my son Rett, who’s now almost five. that was actually a twin pregnancy, believe it or not. Vitex I found does the same thing, similar to Clomid.
[00:31:52] You should not be taking Vitex if you don’t need it. So Vitex is for people that are not getting a lengthy enough luteal phase. So this is where I was still kind of dipping into that crunchy stuff. So, Vitex supposedly will help supposedly, and I don’t know how much truth there is to this.
[00:32:12] If your luteal phase is not long enough, it could lengthen your luteal phase and get you more regular period. I did notice it was giving me more of a regular period. I will say that apparently if you do not need it, so if your period’s already regular, you already have a lengthy enough luteal phase that it could cause you to ovulate multiple times.
[00:32:33] So it could do something similar to Clomid. So I did not know that and I must have ovulated twice. Now it was Covid at the time, so you did not have your first doctor’s appointment until 10 weeks. So when I had gone in for my, ultrasound, they thought it was like a sub chronic hematoma, A SCH. And then they looked further into it and they’re like, oh my gosh, it was another baby.
[00:33:01] Just, it had, it looked like it stopped growing around seven weeks. So I was like, well, what happens? What, so what does it do? And they’re like, well, it’s called a vanishing twin syndrome. Which statistically, accounts for, I think it was like 42% of twin pregnancies equate for I could be off on that number, vanishing twin syndrome.
[00:33:22] So it’s very common. And a lot of times moms when they get to their appointment, don’t even know that there had been two babies in there. So, as you can imagine, I get pregnant now and I find out very early on I’m having twins. And I’m just like, I’m not gonna believe that because I know the statistics and I’ve researched this before, ’cause I’ve gone through this before.
[00:33:43] So, finally at like, I think I was like 13 or 14 weeks, and she’s like, have you like told your family and and your friends? And I was like, no. She’s like, well, you’re past vanishing twin syndrome. So I guess now is the point I tell you like, you’re having twins. Like, unless something happens, which like, you know, something like this is, these are twins now.
[00:34:05] Like you could tell people if you want that you’re having twins. But still in my mind I’m like thinking, well, I’ve gone through that. I didn’t go through that. Like I found out at my ultrasound like, here’s one baby that at there was another one, you know?
[00:34:20] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Yeah.
[00:34:20] Dani Morin: So, and then when I got pregnant this time with twins, I was doing my research again and it was just like the perfect storm.
[00:34:28] So if you’ve been pregnant with twins before and you’re over the age of 35. You’re like three times more likely for that to happen again. So it was just kind of like a perfect storm situation, I guess. I mean, I just don’t know. We look at it honestly like a crazy miracle. You know, they can’t really explain it.
[00:34:50] Ours was a split embryo, so it’s just a crazy situation. And we’re so excited. I fight the paranoia. Me and you talk about this. I have called for those of you guys listening, Hilary in hysterics, just over my
[00:35:09] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: That wasn’t hysterics. Does that make you feel any better? That
[00:35:13] Dani Morin: was.
[00:35:13] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I don’t even call that hysterical.
[00:35:15] Dani Morin: When I was leaving you the voice messages and I’m like, hold on a second. I’m just like, I didn’t even get it together.
[00:35:24] It’s just like, I think the fear, I’m not vibing with the, and we could get into that with my doctor. And I just like,
[00:35:33] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: should mention you
[00:35:34] Dani Morin: yeah, you got
[00:35:35] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: between,
[00:35:36] Dani Morin: married
[00:35:36] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: re
[00:35:36] Dani Morin: in between. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So this pregnancy now, so I did meet somebody. Yeah, this pregnancy now natural with my husband. So 19 months ago I met a boy and I was set up with a guy that’s, we have mutual friends, we are set up. He lived across the country at the time. And so I thought it would be a good idea to fly out there and that we would have this 10 day road trip back to California where he would live in his friend’s back house until I let him move into the house. And a month after that, we were engaged.
[00:36:12] And eight months after that we were married. And a month after that we became pregnant. So this guy was just this single man bachelor in Boston, living his life. And now he’s essentially a married father of three.
[00:36:26] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Two years later, right
[00:36:28] Dani Morin: And he loves every minute of it. He’s such a good dad and he is. I had something a scare, I guess. A scare. It’s, I could talk to you if we could talk about that also, but, the other day, and he’s just like immediately hitting up the doctor, looking things up and like he’s so into the pregnancy and so into being Rhett’s dad. And reading the books on discipline and, you know, things like in the baby books. And he has like, just accepted this whole thing and he loves it. And so I, it’s been really fun. It’s been really fun doing this with a partner. So, now I will say the funniest part about this, and this may be TMI. The funniest part about this, so I got knocked up, so I was single. And then I did home insemination single. I’ve never been in a position where you are intimate during pregnancy. And I’m like, can you hurt the baby? Like, how does it, and he is like, well, what? And I’m like, no, I’ve never had to do this in pregnancy before. I’ve always been single. I’ve never, like, you know, and so I have, some of this stuff is also brand new to me.
[00:37:37] Like I’m looking up like, does it, can you. Like pop your amniotic fluid sack. Like, I’m like, I don’t all these. I know it sounds so crazy, but these are things that now as a third time mom, I’m having to look up for the first time, which is just hilarious.
[00:37:54] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Well, I think that happens on every baby. All of a sudden you have new concerns ’cause you’re older or your other one did something. Also not an unknown concerns. Many people have asked me that question, so I don’t think I have a post,
[00:38:04] Dani Morin: Yeah.
[00:38:05] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: about that on my site, but pretty close.
[00:38:08] Dani Morin: I’m shocked you don’t have a post. I’m shocked you don’t have a post specific to that because when I reached out to you at, was I 14 weeks pregnant and I go, why am I lactating? Am I going into labor?
[00:38:23] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: like, girl, I totally have a post on that.
[00:38:26] Dani Morin: And you sent me a post so fast, like you were faster than the robot at that point. Like you were like, this is actually completely normal.
[00:38:34] Go to Walmart and get some nursing pads because this is your life now. So, yeah, so I’m currently wearing the nursing pads. It was the craziest thing and it wasn’t anything that triggered it. I just, like, my breast had been very tender. And I was like, looked down and I’m like, why are my nipples like I had on a gray t-shirt and I’m like, what is going on?
[00:38:58] To me? I was like, this has to be a sign. I’m going into preterm labor. You know, which is like my biggest fear and a common fear with twins. So I guess it’s normal. And so it’s just like what I’m gonna have to be like dealing with. I’m not collecting milks. So some people I’ve told, they’re like, oh girl, put that in the freezer.
[00:39:15] And I’m like.
[00:39:16] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: first
[00:39:16] Dani Morin: Hilary gave me the, Hilary gave me the advice to chill for a little bit, and we will consider doing that later in pregnancy.
[00:39:23] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: in your third
[00:39:23] Dani Morin: So,
[00:39:24] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: we start doing that.
[00:39:25] Dani Morin: yeah. So, yeah, so that’s where we’re at now, but, so far so good. I think with my pregnancy, I’m not having the O-B-G-Y-N experience that I have had in the past, nor that I thought that I was gonna have.
[00:39:41] So that’s kind of been difficult. But thank God for you and for some other people that I could like, rely on for questions and concerns, so, yeah.
[00:39:49] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: a lot of people online will just say, if you don’t like your provider, just switch. And every time I see that, I’m like, it’s so much more complicated than that. For some people, they live rural.
[00:39:58] Dani Morin: Yeah.
[00:39:59] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: There is one OB in that town and they have to go several hours to a new ob. So that’s not fair to those people.
[00:40:05] And if you’re high risk, you kind of get egged
[00:40:07] Dani Morin: Mm.
[00:40:07] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: into one, one practice. ’cause you need a referral or your insurance only covers one, you know, fetal medicine group. It’s tricky.
[00:40:15] Dani Morin: Well, so kind of what I had learned, and so I had learned a couple things, going through this process of trying to change doctors and just so everybody knows I have yet to be successful. I have one workaround that I have to wait till 18 weeks to try to get out of this situation that I’m in. But I am high risk.
[00:40:37] So I am gestational hypertension, I’m geriatric and I have twins. So kind of how it was explained to me, was that, you know, these doctors, they don’t. They wouldn’t wanna take a risky transfer. Now, if you go to their office and you’re risky, you know, you’re already their patient, they don’t wanna take a risky transfer because for every baby that does not make it, they kind of get a mark on their name a little bit. So they’re like, you’re someone’s already dealing with you. Don’t bring that over here. You know, you already have an MFM and, and a doctor team over there. Like, don’t be bringing that over. Like, we don’t want that. So, it would have been different. So one doctor told me, like, yeah, it would be different if you were, yeah, third successful pregnancy, you had two, you know, positive vaginal birth and this is your third pregnancy and everything is going good.
[00:41:28] Singleton, like, no risks associated with this. Like, yeah, come on over. This is a different situation. And so the transfers are not happening now. I was a little spoiled. I had two doctors in Orange County. I went to St. Jude with my son, Deacon. Phenomenal experience. Great office. Traumatic birth, but that’s because I was trying to be the all natural mom, and I should have listened to the doctor and made different decisions.
[00:41:55] That’s all on me. I’m not gonna look back on that. But my second birth, I was at Hoag, which is just, it’s the mastros of all birthing places, hospitals. Like the way they treat you, the way the doctors treat you. So how it works there is, if you have any concern whatsoever, any concern like.
[00:42:18] A twinge of, and now you’re, and you have gotten it in your mind that your baby has passed in your 10 weeks. Like if you have anything, you just walk right on in there. So you have your own provider and you walk into the doctor’s office, but there is 12 other OBGYNs there. Someone will check you out real quick.
[00:42:36] The high-end ultrasound is right there. The LabCorp is right there that does your blood. Your pelvic floor therapy is in the same office and, the hospital’s across the street, if you needed to waltz over there for something. The NS STS are in there and you have your own private room and a tv ’cause you know you’re in there for hours or two.
[00:42:55] It is a premium experience. This situation, I found out I was having twins. I was so sick with morning sickness, she sent me to that imaging center to get, your ultrasound. So you go to the hospital to get your ultrasounds done. And, I was in there and it was an ultrasound tech who was giving me information out of her scope of practice that she shouldn’t have been.
[00:43:17] And two students all taking turns trans badging me, ultrasound wise. And guess who was not in that room? My husband, because it’s against their policy. And I found out one of the biggest pieces of news of my life alone, while two 20-year-old students trans vaged me. In a ultrasound room for 45 minutes.
[00:43:42] And it was one of those things, again, I did not know that this was not normal because I posted a video and people were like, oh, how did your husband take finding out you’re having twins? And I was like, oh, I have a video of it. ’cause I had walked out in the waiting room and I showed my husband the, the ultrasound and people are like, “Jeremy ultrasounds aren’t scary. You could go in there with her.” And I’m like, “oh no, he’s not allowed to come in.”
[00:44:02] And people are like, dude, that’s basic standard of care is for him to be in there with you during this news. Like, what if he found out bad news? Then I had all these girls riding me and being like, oh my gosh. The ultrasound center, I found out I was having a still birth there alone while my husband was in the waiting room and I had to do the, where I walk out and shake my head at 28 weeks that we lost our baby alone.
[00:44:24] And I’m like, oh my God. Like this is insane. And they’re like, well that’s just our policy, like go to another hospital. And I’m like, no. See, that’s the thing. I would love to, I can’t. And then I’ve just had some issues. So with the gestational hypertension of it all, it’s something very scary ’cause it could turn into preeclampsia.
[00:44:45] Now I have never had preeclampsia, but I’ve had gestational hypertension in both of my pregnancies. Could it be stress? And I have the high blood pressure, who knows what it’s from. But, it’s something that my previous doctor took extremely seriously. Starting at like, I think maybe even 24 weeks, I was having two nst every, every week.
[00:45:05] She took it extremely seriously. I slept overnight in the hospital twice during that pregnancy just because they’re like, “Hey, we’re gonna just do some further monitor.” Like they take it extremely seriously. And I was talking to you ’cause I’m like, usually I start this gestational hypertension protocol around like 10 or 12 weeks from what I can remember.
[00:45:26] Like, I’m shocked. My doctor is like not having me start this, knowing my history. Well, I had, had, I tracked my blood pressure. So I had, tracked my blood pressure for five days and I was on five days of it being high. And I put in the little, ’cause you can’t just go to the office, you have to do it in the health record.
[00:45:43] So I put in the health record like, Hey, I’m concerned about my blood pressure. And they’re like, well, when you were here four weeks ago, it was fine. So that’s what we’re going off of. And I’m like, that’s great. Now we’re here and I’m having five days of high blood, consistent high blood pressure. I’m worried about it.
[00:45:58] I’m also concerned that I haven’t been starting the high blood pressure protocol. Which if you guys don’t know, it’s, it’s essentially baby aspirin. Now, my other doctor, the baby aspirin, I went to the pharmacy, I gave a prescription and they handed it to me. You could buy it over the counter, but that’s just how it worked in the past.
[00:46:15] So she’s like, well, if you feel that strongly about starting it, go ahead and get some. And I’m like, get some what? And she said, and this is via chat. She said, get some LDA. And I’m like, what’s LDA? She’s like, low dose aspirin. And I’m like, milligrams. Like, I’m like having like Why am I having to ask this?
[00:46:33] Like, she’s like, yeah, if that’s what you want. I’m like, okay. So I go and get it. I start that and I felt confident in starting it. ’cause you and I had talked and also because in my previous pregnancies, that’s when I started at 10 weeks. So finally like I’m just getting to a point where I’m like, I feel a little bit in the dark with this pregnancy. I want a meeting with the doctor.
[00:46:57] And so we call a meeting with the doctor. And from what I had heard from people who are kind of in like hospital administration, is that, which is my sister. She’s like, I am certain your doctor’s gonna be very much on your side. I am certain your doctor also doesn’t like the imaging center’s situation of not letting your husband come in.
[00:47:16] She was like, sometimes it’s not the doctors that you should be mad at. It’s just the procedures and like what’s in place. And the protocols in place. And like, I guarantee my sister’s like, you’re gonna go in there and she’s gonna be very empathetic to how you’re feeling and maybe probably agree with you on some things.
[00:47:34] And she’s like, these doctors are overwhelmed. They’re, you know, the hospitals don’t always listen to the doctors and so I think she’s really gonna have your back. So I went in thinking like, I’m gonna be met with some compassion here. That’s what I’m thinking. So I go in and I’m very nice. I’m like, I did the shit sandwich. So, I went in and I was like, I wanna start off by saying that your office has been phenomenal. Like, I love the women that work here. I really appreciate the chat feature, even though I’m used to being able to just go in and see a doctor, but like, okay, I like the chat feature. I’m like, I do have some concerns where I’m not sure if I’m getting the level of care that I deserve.
[00:48:11] And she immediately goes into the defense and she’s like, she’s like, I’ve been doing this for 23 years. I answer you back in the chat. Like, if you need something, you have to ask. Like, if you don’t ask, I’m like, I don’t think that I should be asking, about low dose aspirin for high blood pressure considering I’ve had it in all of my pregnancies. And it’s definitely recorded. And you know about that. She’s like, you’re having twins. You should be taking two. And I was like, so that’s my husband steps in and he’s like, okay, so this right here is the first we’re hearing of this. And at this point I’m like, 15 weeks. So this right here is the first we’re hearing of, she should be taking two.
[00:48:48] I’m like, do I take two prenatals? Do I take 2D HA? Like what else should I be taking? Like, and I’m starting to write stuff down. I’m like, this is the first time you’ve spent more than five minutes with me. So I honestly don’t, is there anything else I should know? And she’s like, well, just ask, what do you want to know?
[00:49:01] And I’m like, I want you to treat me like this is my first pregnancy. I’m like, I also have concerns with my husband not being there in my ultrasounds. She’s like, that’s not on me. Take that up with the hospital. I’m like, it is on you. You sent me there, you sent me to a place that doesn’t allow my husband, so no, it is on you.
[00:49:21] And so we never met, and she’s like, well, if you wanna transfer, you know, good luck with that. Go to the front and I’ll try to do it. And I’m like, okay, well you and I both know I’ve already been trying to transfer and I’m not having luck. So at this point. I’m gonna see the nurse practitioner until my birth.
[00:49:39] You unfortunately are gonna be the one to slice and dice me open. Just land that plane with all souls on board, including my own please. Like that’s, at this point, just land that plane. I don’t care if there’s turbulence. I don’t care if, if, you know, an engine goes out, okay. All souls must be safe when we land and just land that plane.
[00:50:02] And that’s kind of where we have left it. So I did my research with my robot that there is a little bit of a workaround. So, when I start seeing the MFM, if the MFM sees something. In my ultrasound with twin pregnancies, like the MFMs, they go through everything with a fine tooth comb and almost 100% of the time they find something, a shadow, a spot or whatever.
[00:50:28] I can request a second opinion and I can request that second opinion at the hospital in which I would want to go to. And when they take me in to do that second opinion, I’m kind of registered as a patient. So I’m going to, try to do that workaround, possibly. So that’s kind of where we’re at, at from here.
[00:50:49] Again, that’s what my robot’s saying.
[00:50:51] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: should not be having, we’re getting to the robot. Don’t you worry. You should not have to ask your doctor about aspirin. That should be one of the first things that providers are getting on that first appointment is going through all the questions about aspirin, because there’s a lot, like some of it’s if your mom or your sister had high blood pressure, which wouldn’t be related to your health history at all.
[00:51:11] So they have to go through a list of a few questions, which, by the way, you were having twins. They, they don’t even have to go through the questions because that’s one of the ones. But people, I get frustrated when the doctor’s like, well, you should just ask. And I’m like, well, how on earth are people gonna know to ask? Like, that doesn’t make any sense to me, but God bless.
[00:51:29] Dani Morin: Yeah, so I mean, I was kind of being catty towards the end of the situation at this meeting, and I was like, should I ask you now for like maybe an anesthesiologist at my C-section? Like, what else do I need to ask for? Like, I was like, I just asked. Had, and I feel like there is a way, and if providers are listening to this, I just want, and I made a video coming out of this meeting and I will post it after I have my birth.
[00:51:57] There was a way she could have addressed the situation and never admitted that she was wrong or that any of this is bad. There was a way she could have done that, and that’s with a single ounce of compassion. If she could have mustered up the courage to even have a single ounce of compassion. I’m gonna go to a ob GYN, this is on my list. I’m gonna pitch the OB GYN conferences, and I’m gonna go up there as a patient and be like, here’s a way that you can address the concerns of your patient without ever saying that you’re wrong. Had I walked in there and said, I have some concerns. I feel like I’m not being heard. I’m not giving enough time.
[00:52:42] Had you been up there and just said, “I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I would never want one of my patients who’s pregnant to have to feel this way. Let’s discuss some ways that I could better help you and we could better help each other in communicating so you get the best care possible.”
[00:53:03] Do you see how I just talked right there where I never said like, I am so sorry that I did that. I should have done better. That is totally on me and like, I should, you know, I should be sending you to a different ultrasound. Never she had, she just gone in there and been like, I’m so sorry you are feeling this way.
[00:53:20] I never want my patients to feel this way. Let’s discuss some things together and be a team here. Do you see how a tiny bit of compassion could have changed the entire directory of the situation
[00:53:34] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Yeah,
[00:53:35] Dani Morin: it, and,
[00:53:35] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: so
[00:53:36] Dani Morin: it, it was just not there.
[00:53:38] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: or any customer service business. Obviously she don’t care about the customer service. Have you watched The PIT yet?
[00:53:44] Dani Morin: I haven’t Is that on Paramount?
[00:53:47] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: It’s on Max,
[00:53:49] Dani Morin: think it’s on paramount.
[00:53:49] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: talking about patient satisfaction scores, which can be frustrating as a healthcare provider because you’re like, you’re not giving us enough staff. That is literally why our patient satisfaction scores suck. So anyway,
[00:54:00] Dani Morin: And that’s what I think my sister was trying to get at was like they’re, the doctors are dealing with a lot too, and they’re very much like on the team of the patient. So I went in there thinking she’s gonna be on the team of the patient and just be like, Hey, there’s some stuff going around. We are fighting for changes right now.
[00:54:15] And like, you know, you got caught up anything. Except she was like, I’ve been doing this 23 years. No one has ever had a problem with me. This is a you thing. Like, and I was like, oh my God. So I’m just hoping that when she sews up my C-section scar that it’s like somewhat in a line. Like, I just hope it’s not like a squiggly mark, like she’s all, I’m gonna show her.
[00:54:38] Like I just, you know, and she’s a professional and I just, one of my good friends just had twins, same doctor, same c-section, super successful babies. Didn’t spend one day in the nicu. She had the best care there. It was the best team of people. She felt very confident. And so therefore, I’m kind of like holding onto that right now.
[00:54:58] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Yeah.
[00:54:59] Dani Morin: I was sent to this doctor by everybody in my community. Everyone, and I’m not gonna say the doctor’s name, but everybody was like. Like this person, she’s the best. Oh my God, there’s no better doctor. And what I realized is that I have been eating at Mastros with my pregnancies
[00:55:17] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Yeah.
[00:55:18] Dani Morin: the, and some of these girls, they don’t know anything better than McDonald’s.
[00:55:22] And so to them it’s been a great experience. But I think for me, when I’ve had this high standard of care, and now I’m at a situation where I’m like, but this seems different. You know, not that it’s bad, it’s probably just normal. But I don’t think I’m asking for a lot to just tell me the medications I should be on for something that could cause preeclampsia.
[00:55:44] You know what I mean?
[00:55:45] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: That’s a real push in the United States right now. It’s not like this is something weird. I wanna,
[00:55:50] Dani Morin: Yeah. So we’ll see when this comes out.
[00:55:53] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: It’s hard to watch videos of people like at birth centers that are like lighting and a tub in the room and, you know, special music you can play. Whereas I’ve worked at birth centers that, we were lucky if the, the tile was like intact, right?
[00:56:06] Like, you know,
[00:56:08] Dani Morin: Yeah.
[00:56:09] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Or that there weren’t roaches falling out of the ceiling, which has happened at some of the hospitals that I worked at. And so sometimes when I watch these, it’s really hard to compare like situations just because it varies so much. And I know even in the south it’s even worse than where I am at. So,
[00:56:25] Dani Morin: Yeah.
[00:56:25] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: It’s always tricky when you compare doctors and stuff like that. But Dani, I have also been talking about how she uses her, AI robot to answer her pregnancy questions. And I’ve always been like. Stop! I am your AI robot. Just text me. And you’re like, no, I have my AI robot trained on the right sites or whatever. what are some things you’re, you’ve
[00:56:44] Dani Morin: What are some things.
[00:56:45] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: robot, and I’m gonna tell you if that’s safe to ask Orate. know what aspirin would’ve been safe to ask? I’ll give it that probably.
[00:56:53] Dani Morin: Okay, so one thing that I asked my robot last night is, is it okay to get Botox and laminate? Not that I’m going to, but I’m seeing pregnant girls and their faces look near perfect, and I know that ain’t natural. And I put that on my stories and people were like, yeah, no, it’s totally fine now. And I’m like, Hmm.
[00:57:14] So you’re saying, no,
[00:57:16] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I think it’s a no, as far as I know, Botox is a no, just because they don’t know if that could get into your bloodstream or something like that. I don’t understand brow lamination, so I don’t know how, how that could accumulate in your body. The internet told me to write a post on that, but I was so out of my, have
[00:57:33] Dani Morin: it’s too new.
[00:57:34] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I don’t know. I don’t know.
[00:57:36] Dani Morin: It’s too, it’s too new.
[00:57:38] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: for a long time they didn’t even massage pregnant women because they were worried that they could hurt the baby, which now I’m like, come on. Like we gotta,
[00:57:45] Dani Morin: What about, how do you tell your twins apart?
[00:57:49] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I’ve seen parents put a little sharpie on one of the toenails, like the big
[00:57:54] Dani Morin: You said that and I feel like that’s a good, okay.
[00:57:58] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Yeah,
[00:57:59] Dani Morin: so I,
[00:58:00] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: polish
[00:58:00] Dani Morin: so,
[00:58:00] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: off harder. Like it comes off easier. Fingernail polish,
[00:58:05] Dani Morin: okay, so this is another one that I, freaked out over was what’s the difference between discharge or my water breaking? My robot told me like, the,
[00:58:17] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I have 16 articles about that.
[00:58:17] Dani Morin: can you send those to me? Because I had a scare this weekend. I like sat down and I felt like, what was like a gush or something and I immediately called the doctor and was like, I think my water broke.
[00:58:28] It turned out it was a more of a milky texture and that’s what my robot said. It would be more of a milky texture in which it, in which it was,
[00:58:36] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Yeah. I have
[00:58:36] Dani Morin: um.
[00:58:37] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: is it pee? What, what does it feel like when my water breaks? Because most people will feel a pop. I would say 70% of the people I say they feel a pop when their water breaks. So that sometimes can help people reassure. But the big one is that your water just
[00:58:51] Dani Morin: Is that
[00:58:52] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: out. If it’s
[00:58:54] Dani Morin: Yes.
[00:58:55] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: not. It.
[00:58:55] Dani Morin: So that’s what I have.
[00:58:57] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Yeah. So I
[00:58:58] Dani Morin: Yeah.
[00:58:59] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: just, when I was writing articles based on Google searches, I would just do AI for fun. Like, I was like, can you drink wine during pregnancy? And AI was like, absolutely. The antioxidants in wine, I would suggest two to three glasses a day. And I was like, strong work ai, really, really good work.
[00:59:14] And then I wrote one is sour cream safe during pregnancy? And it was like, absolutely not. Your risk of listeria goes up with sour cream. And I was like, pasteurized
[00:59:23] Dani Morin: Oh my gosh. I feel like pasteurization is okay
[00:59:27] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: no
[00:59:28] Dani Morin: anyways.
[00:59:29] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: cream? Totally fine. Yeah. Also, you
[00:59:31] Dani Morin: Okay. Okay.
[00:59:31] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: you get listeria. Maybe you can get listeria from unpasteurized cheese products like brie, you’re not supposed to be eating, unpasteurized cheese
[00:59:40] Dani Morin: Yeah, I don’t, I don’t mess with that. I don’t mess with that. Anyways.
[00:59:43] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: the time for brie. Right.
[00:59:45] Dani Morin: Yeah.
[00:59:46] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Let’s get some brie in me.
[00:59:48] Dani Morin: Well you’ve just been like the best thing for me during this pregnancy and I so appreciate you and I hope that people use you as a resource. You just put out so much good stuff and you’re someone I trust and your stuff is easily digestible and I just really, really appreciate it and our friendship, so thank you.
[01:00:04] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: you. We gotta get Jeremy in the birth class though ’cause he obviously is ripe and ready to go. So we’re gonna get Dani
[01:00:11] Dani Morin: we will.
[01:00:11] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: the birth class ’cause
[01:00:13] Dani Morin: We will.
[01:00:14] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: that’ll answer a lot of everyone’s questions too, probably. Thank you for coming on. This has been so much fun. I
[01:00:19] Dani Morin: Thank you.
[01:00:20] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I hate that that doctor was like, this is unsafe.
[01:00:23] Because when doctors do stuff like that, it doesn’t open up the door for like collaboration or the fact that it really is not unsafe. Especially compared to regular sex where you could pass chlamydia or gonorrhea, like a syringe is a lot safer from like a medical perspective.
[01:00:37] Dani Morin: Yeah,
[01:00:38] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: So anyway,
[01:00:40] Dani Morin: they wanna make money. But yeah.
[01:00:42] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: And,
[01:00:43] Dani Morin: Thank you for letting me. You
[01:00:44] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: Make sure you follow Dani. She has so many good tips on car seats, child safety. It’s gonna also be fun to watch Dani head into life with three kids, versus just one ’cause I’m sure there’s gonna be a lot of fun, chaos to, enjoy
[01:00:56] Dani Morin: love you.
[01:00:57] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: all. All right, we’ll talk to you later.
[01:00:59] Dani Morin: Bye.
[01:01:00] Hilary Erickson | The Pregnancy Nurse®: I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. It was fun to like bounce around a different topic. Dani and I are obviously friends, but I think three things that I learned. First off, you know, the money is important. And I really love that she tried something that worked for her instead of just doing something that kind of was the standard for getting pregnant.
[01:01:17] Second of all, if you’re in a position where you can’t switch providers, sometimes you have to make do. She’s definitely looked around like we’ve talked a lot about it. But I just want people to know that sometimes you don’t get the provider of your dreams, but can still have a really great outcome.
[01:01:30] And third watch ai, those robots will get you. thank you for coming on Dani. I hope you guys will join us on our next episode.
[01:01:36] Thanks for joining us on the Pulling Curls podcast today. If you like today’s episode, please consider reviewing, sharing, subscribing. It really helps our podcast grow. Thank you.
Keywords:
getting pregnant, home insemination, sperm donor, unplanned pregnancy, single mom by choice, IVF, IUI, PCOS, tilted cervix, prenatal care, child loss, grief, parenting guilt, Baltic amber teething necklace, child safety, product safety, natural parenting, evidence-based parenting, social media advocacy, birth plan, switching OB providers, high risk pregnancy, gestational hypertension, low dose aspirin in pregnancy, twin pregnancy, pregnancy anxiety, provider communication, hospital policies, AI for pregnancy questions, financial planning for parenthood, support systems
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