How old does a child need to be to babysit? Is there a specific age at which they have the maturity, qualifications and trust to get hired? Also, when can a sibling stay home with the children as your built-in babysitter? Let’s find out.
But, before we start — if you’re looking to simplify your family life — check out this course. It helped get our family on track and helped me gain some margins I desperately needed.
Table of contents
How Old Do you Need to Be to Babysit?
What does the law say?
In looking online, I could only find guidelines for when children can be left home alone. Plus, most states only provide “guidelines” vs law on when kids can be left alone.
I found it interesting that the Red Cross recommends babysitting from ages 11-15.
There doesn’t seem to be a law, as far as my research shows — BUT, that doesn’t mean it can’t be a bad idea. Free Range Kids has a list of laws of babysitting (as it varies state to state)/.
So, let’s talk more about it:
How to decide if your child is old enough to babysit:
- Child’s maturity (I think we’re all aware that each child develops in their own way
- Ability to handle chaos
- Leadership skills
- Maturity of the children to be babysit
- # of children who will be babysat
Steps of responsibility that babysitters have:
- Able to remain calm(ish) when something goes wrong
- Able to make good choices for themselves when left to their own devices
- Good relationships the majority of the time with siblings
- Helps out at home often
- Other children are willing to be at home alone with that child
How old does a child need to be to babysit their siblings at home?
This is usually where it starts. An older child starts to babysit at home.
For us, it’s certainly a progression, and usually started around age 10 or so (since it’s a progression, you’re not leaving them ALONE — especially for extended periods — til’ they’re closer to 11).
The child starts to have some time (with you at home) where they are in charge. I encourage them to have activities planned, to see if this is something they could handle without you there. This is a great way to prepare them (and you) if you’re unsure about their abilities.
You run to a neighbor’s (or even shut your door and fold laundry, or read a book) and let the older child “be in charge”. Of course, this will increase from 5 minutes to longer visits to the mailbox or even just a walk around the block. You’re just testing the waters here. Making sure everyone is comfortable with the situation.
Then, you take the big step of running to the grocery store with that child in charge.
Thank goodness for the age of cell phones where you can check in and they can call you if there is an issue!
Of course, this is just to grab a few things — not a FULL grocery trip.
Pro Tip: If you have many children, I’d probably not leave them all with the oldest. Maybe take 1 or two with you when you go for the first few times, just to see how it works out. Sadly, I’d recommend taking the hardest to watch with you for the first few actual outings.
This needs to feel like a NATURAL progression — for everyone! Both the older child, and for the younger ones.
They don’t notice a big change, because that older child has helped out before, and now is just helping out for a few more minutes.
Of course, you will feel a HUGE sense of “OH MY GOSH” the first time you leave. BUT, be careful to make those outings short — so good outcomes happen for all the kids.
Then, you slowly just expand the outings.
For us, it took a LONG time to have a sit-down dinner we couldn’t leave quickly from. And, a REALLY long time for us to be comfortable going to a movie or somewhere they might not be able to get hold of us immediately.
Ok, as a reminder, here is how a progression of leaving your child at home with siblings could go:
- Your child “watches” some siblings as you do other tasks
- Your child watches some siblings as you run to the neighbors or the mailbox
- Your child watches some siblings as you make a quick dash to the store
- That child starts to watch more siblings
- You increase your time away from home
- SWEET. SWEET FREEDOM!
How much do you pay your own kids to babysit?
For the earlier “mother’s helper” type responsibility, I pay in perks. More computer time, a date with myself or my husband — and of course, lots of praise about how much they are helping you!
However, I do pay my older kids when they actually babysit.
I didn’t pay a ton though, and I often paid other older ones a small amount as well.
Example: My oldest was 12, and my youngest was 2. I paid him $2/hour to babysit, and I paid my middle child (who was 8 ) 50 cents/hour for being a good helper.
AND, in order to get paid the oldest 2 had to agree that things went well. I also required dishes be put in the dishwasher and the house about the same as I left it.
**If my oldest child had to miss something or another babysitting gig in order to watch our kids, I did pay him $5/hour. He understood that wouldn’t happen every time, but I did want to be sure that he knew I appreciated his willingness. Also, we — at that point — were saving a small fortune in babysitting costs. So, paying now and then was worthwhile for us.
NOTE: My 2nd oldest (15) thinks he should get paid to watch his sister, who is 9 now. I don’t pay for that. She watches herself. Yes, he may make dinner (and by make, I mean put something in the microwave), but he’s not really working. They’re just helping each other while I am gone.
And yes, he’s still bitter about it.
FYI, babysitting has ALWAYS been part of our budget — I always say it’s cheaper than a lawyer! 🙂
Ground Rules to Older Sibling Babysitting
- Limits on media — if children have issues watching too much, or inappropriate things on TV, maybe limit TV time
- Limits on going outside — maybe they just go in the backyard
- Limits on discipline — the older child may think it is their job to discipline a younger sibling, which could go bad.
- Limits on babysitter screen time — will they be on their phone as the house burns around them? Maybe their phone needs to stay in the charger while they’re in charge.
I would encourage you to think of your own ground rules.
Benefits of Babysitting:
Too often kids don’t have much responsibility, there are a lot of benefits to being a babysitter:
- It’s nice to feel competent and trusted
- Making your own choices without a parent watching over can be empowering
- Either make money, or if you’re the mom save some money
- Have a good time (with mom gone there are less rules and kids can enjoy playing together more)
How old does a child need to be to babysit someone else’s children?
Oh man, this is hard.
Honestly, I think I started at around 11. I would also get REALLY overwhelmed when the kids wouldn’t listen. I did ask my mom to come bail me out a few times when kids were just rotten.
And actually, it made me hate kids and not want to be a mom.
I didn’t have younger siblings — I was the youngest, so that may not have helped.
I also still don’t really love other people’s kids…. {there, I said it}.
It just was never a good fit for me — but because I grew-up in a church with a lot of small kids I got asked a lot. I also liked money, so I did it a fair amount until I got too busy.
For us, we used kids that were at least 12.
A few thoughts on this:
It can be awesome to train as a mother’s helper a few times before you take the big step of staying alone. Watching how the mom treats the kids, and how the kids respond can be an eye opener when it’s not your own family. Also, as a mom, a mother’s helper can be a HUGE benefit. That kid can provide fun and excitement that you’re just too tired to provide.
DO NOT DISCOUNT A MOTHER’S HELPER, even if it’s not full-fledged babysitting.
Tips on getting your child hired as a babysitter:
Encourage them to make a fun-pack to take with them with some toys and games that those children might like. Bored kids get into mischief and if you can avoid that — it’s a win.
Encourage them to take a babysitting class. Our local church often does one around age 11 and the Red Cross has classes about it. Our local community center has a babysitting class (where kids get CPR training) as well.
Be at home when they go — and encourage them to call if they feel over their heads. You want your child to have a good experience.
Heap a heck-lot of praise on them — tell them how amazing it is that they are making their own cash! It IS amazing!
Emergency Sheet — send my emergency sheet with them, so they can get all the info they need!
Tips on hiring a young babysitter
Know teenagers. For us, this was easy, because my husband taught high school, and I was very active in our church youth group with the girls. For us, we looked for:
- Fun kids — kids that we just enjoyed being around
- Inventive kids — kids that had something to offer our kids.
- Boys — I think it is easy to discount a male babysitter, but our boys (when we just had 2 small boys) LOOOOVED male babysitters, and honestly — I found them to love the act of babysitting more. No sitting on the couch texting, they were always playing Legos or Lincoln Logs.
Be sure to ask the sitter how it went — your children should be on their BEST behavior for a baybsitter, and I’d be very clear with them, that if the sitter had issues, THEY will have issues the next day.
Be sure to ask your kids how it went — some sitters did nothing. They let kids watch TV and they texted. And my kids would tell me that. They didn’t get invited back as frequently. I wanted engaged sitters, and that’s what I got.
How much to pay a young babysitter
I don’t think you need to go with the minimum wage. We always did $5/hour — and often, we’d just do $20/night — some nights being longer, and some being shorter. This being a few years ago I bet I’d pay closer to $25/night now.
We had a pretty standard set of babysitters, so I figured it evened-out and they were always willing to come again — so I was willing to pay. 🙂
Of course, college kids should get paid more, and I often paid more once they were able to drive themselves. So, a lot of it depends on the kid and how much you love them.
How Old Does a Child Need to Be to Stay Home Alone?
I found this really helpful table by Latchkey Kids — along with references. Clearly, it depends on the state. Most states leave it up to parent’s judgment, and some say ranges from 6-14. Many are just guidelines — and frankly, that’s nice.
For us, it really depends on the child. My youngest is just about 10. I have left her to run to the grocery store, or to pick up an older sibling. I have not left her alone at night, as she has a bit of a tender soul.
However, now that she’s 10, I might do it. Just to go to dinner, or run some errands.
She also has resources around us that she can easily ask for help.
One of my BEST tips is to have an emergency sheet for your child or a babysitter to access at home:
And check out some of my other favorite parenting posts:
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Chantel says
I’ve never thought of mother’s helper – such a great idea!!! I’m still new at the whole mother thing – my daughter is not even a year and a half old – but it’s something to think about! Plus I’d LOVE a mother’s helper for myself! <3 Great idea 🙂 Thanks for sharing these tips!
Hilary Erickson says
A mothers helper is AWESOME — plus, they can to fun, cool things you have no energy for!
Lynness says
I (as a mom) love the rule my mom had when we had a babysitter: if you give the sitter problems, you will be paying her. We only had to do that once. (And as a piano teacher, I have offered that suggestion to parents who are having trouble getting their kids to practice- if they end up having to repeat everything the next week because they clearly didn’t practice, the kids might have to pay for the lesson, since they just wasted their parents’ money.)
Hilary Erickson says
THAT is smart!!!!!