Why the Curly Girl Method Did Me Wrong (and how Abbey Yung fixed me)

When I found the curly girl method I realized that all the techniques that my mom had shown me with her straight hair were wrong. For instance, I was brushing my hair daily in high school — probably not the best method. However, the curly girl method gave me some bad stuff — and I realized I could still use a lot of “straight” techniques to help my hair & scalp health!

In this post I’m going to talk about what the Curly Girl method did good for me, what it did wrong, and what I’m doing now. And yes, I normally talk about pregnancy, but I wanted to say that even small parts of our day can feel better, even if the world feels heavy.

What is Good About the Curly Girl Method?

There we a LOT of good things I learned from the curly girl method:

I have dry hair. Honestly, it wasn’t addressed when I was growing up. It’s just good to know that curly hair tends to be drier.

Condition & Brush Through in the Shower — this has been a game changer for me. For a long time I was using a wide-toothed comb, but I’ve found better options lately….

The effects of sulfates & silicones — I feel like these were exaggerated, but there are definitely effects from each of them.

What Didn’t Help Me with the Curly Girl Method.

Sulfates Bad: I was walking around with a dirty, itchy scalp because I thought I was NEVER supposed to wash my hair, and if I ever did I should use a sulfate-free conditioner. I itched for YEARS because of this… Unhelpful.

Heavy Conditioners: I thought I needed the heaviest of conditioners for my dry hair. I looked for ones that were super thick and creamy.

The problem is I have very fine, thin hair — maybe I needed something different…

Anti-Drugstore: I felt like curly girl pushed us towards more expensive products that are sold in salons or higher-end shops, but boy oh boy I’ve found some drugstore products I really, really love. That’s been a big benefit to watching Abbey Young. I’d tried Deva Curl, CurlSmith, Tre Luxe and Inahsi<< All of which were more expensive and honestly, aren’t working as well as what I have now. Not to knock them, but I think we just have no idea how little price point really means as far as if something is quality or not.

My Hair

I think it’s really important to know my hair and what issues I’m facing.

• My Curls are probably 3C. They’re pretty coily — especially when I take care of them well. My hair got curlier after I had kids, but I’ve always had curly hair
• I am starting to go grey, but it’s only a few strands (knocking on all the wood). I don’t plan to color them out, go grey gracefully (even if I’m screaming inside)
• My hair is VERY fine — you hardly feel it between your fingers when you just have a strand. This means the actual hairs are very thin.
• My hair is very thin — I’ve never had a lot of hair (people think I do because of the curls) but it is also getting thinner with age {insert me crying quietly in a corner). This means I have less hairs on my head than the average gal.

It’s important that I have a routine that:

• Preserves the # of hairs I have — I’d prefer it to get LESS thin — or, at least stay how it is.
• Is fast — I don’t like to spend a lot of time on it (full disclosure). I also REALLY hate the feeling of hair on my hands, so there’s that.
• Doesn’t break the bank. I feel like there are better things to spend my money on than expensive brands, but I am willing to spend if it will preserve the strands.
• Itches less. Please.

What I Learned from Abbey Yung

In case you have no idea who Abbey Young is…. I found her on Youtube after trying K-18 and wanting tips (more on that, stay tuned). Abbey has hair the complete opposite of mine, it’s bleached, and she straightens it several times a week. My hair is natural, curly and only gets about 5 minutes of heat/week (if that). However, she speaks a lot to scalp & hair care, and that is true no matter what our hair is like. She is a Trichologist, and I have no idea what that is, but I think it has to do with hair/scalp health.

Abbey Taught Me:

1. Good hair care comes at many price points (she often loves drugstore as much as high end and isn’t afraid to share that)
2. Our scalps need to be clean for our hair to grow well & look good — and that often means sulfates
3. There’s lots of conditioners that work well, you can try a few lighter ones to see if you like them!

I will say that after we’ve used a leave-in I tend to diverge from Abbey as I still need products that provide me with hold. She doesn’t talk about that beyond hair spray.

But, now I want to share what I’m using now and I’m a big fan of:

What I’m Using Now

I’d like to mention I’d LOVE to use the images in this post, but I guess companies can get mad at you for posting their images of their product… so, hopefully the brand names and links will be enough for you guys.

Shampoo

This has been the BIG change. First off, I’m washing weekly — where I used to use a very LIGHT wash once a month. Some weeks I even wash twice a week…. a real curly rebel.

First off — I’m a huge fan of Pantene Volumizing shampoo. I was honestly super nervous because this one is FULL of sulfates and lots of foam when you use it — but it was the first time my scalp was finally chilling out and wasn’t itching.

You can find it on Amazon (but I prefer the cheaper bottle you can get at Walmart or your local drugstore/supermarket)

And yes, it is pretty drying — but when I back it up with a good conditioner it helps.

ALSO, because my hair is so fine and thin getting all the gunk off of it that I put on really helps it look better overall. Something I didn’t expect. So, better scalp health & better hair.

I finally just had to jump in a buy a few products, even though I was nervous to try new things. The good news is a lot of these are pretty inexpensive. I’d recommend just buying as small a bottles as you can find of what appeals to you.

I also like the Garnier Pure Clean. It’s not quite as cleansing but still does a good job.

Honestly, I say get a cheap, small bottle (you may be shocked at the low price point) — see what you think of it. It’s also available at Walmart.

Honestly, as I’m typing this I’m thinking I should do a really good cleansing shampoo weekly, and then some other shampoo or Co-Wash (less of a fan of co-washes lately too, which is a change for me) the other day/week.

Which brings me to a system I was SHOCKED I liked so much — and that is Dove. Oh man guys — HUGE fan here.

The Dove Bond Strength Line. Honestly, my hair looks SO good when I wash with this. It’s also available at Walmart. I was just using the shampoo — but stay tuned, I’ve tried some similar conditioner.

I also want to try the Dove Intensive Repair shampoo (cheaper/smaller at Walmart) — I’m just not sure it’s worth it to own both of those (so when bond strength is empty I’ll try that).

I should say I did try the Dove Itch Relief and also the Moisture shampoo — not wild fans of either (and the itch relief didn’t seem to help my itchy scalp).

Common things I’m seeing:

1. My scalp needs CLEANSING which often means a lathery-sulfate (and also using good conditioner aftrewards)
2. I think I need protein — I don’t color, or use much heat but I think my hair is protein thirsty. Who knew? This could come from me brushing out snarls, or just how it snarls in general, plus living in Arizona with our high UV index.

Conditioner

Ok, I started this whole journey out when my stylist recommended some K18 for my hair that was falling out about 6’ish months after my appendix ruptured and I almost died.

It’s wildly expensive. However, both myself and my daughter needed some hair repair, so I thought it would be worth the investment. I mean, how can you brand be Pulling Curls when you have no hair? 😀

I haven’t notice HUGE differences. I do think less is falling out. However, I think it was just a post-septic hair shedding at the time that I started it.

I now use K18 once a month after that Pantene Volumizing shampoo. I like it, my hair often looks great that week! I don’t know that I’ll re-purchase when this container is gone.

Things I’ve learned about K18 — I only use 1.5 pumps of it, and I lather it up in my hands really well before applying it — it’s easily wasted, so be sure to read the directions to help it get in as much of your hair as you can.

However, it’s not an “everyday” conditioner…. Even K18 says that.

For a REALLY long time I’ve used the Kirkland conditioner from Costco. It’s thick and I felt like that’s what I needed for my dry hair. But, K-18 isn’t thick, I wasn’t using another conditioner and my hair looked great. So, I started to wonder if some lighter conditioners might be nice?

I had heard from Abbey that CR100 was great — sort of the poor man’s K18 for protein and strength building. I got some. I like it, I don’t want to marry it — but I think I’ll keep using it monthly. It’s about 1/10 of the price — but you also use a lot more of it.

There are also a few other good protein systems like Epres I may try after my K18 is gone. We’ll see. But for now I’m trying to keep my number of products to a minimum.

I got the Dove Intensive Repair conditioner and I’m a fan (it’s cheaper at Walmart). I use it with the Bond strength shampoo. I like it a lot. I think they’re a good pairing. It’s not super heavy, and you just leave it in for a minute. I like that.

Just got this L’Oreal Elvive Glossing Conditioner — and I’m a fan. Abbey really made me think about my hair, and what it needs. It’s very fine, it’s thin and dry. This one is a lighter conditioner and I really liked it. Was my hair glossier? I have no idea. But I liked it. I feel like I got it cheaper in the store at Walmart, so check there or your grocery store too!

Themes I’m seeing:

1. When I use a sulfate shampoo it’s very important I condition well. It makes up for it — I don’t have to cut out sulfates, I just have to condition (which I was doing anyway)
2. That doesn’t mean the conditioner needs to be thick — mostly just adequte slip to brush through it in the shower
3. Thinner conditioners help my hair not be weighed down.

My hair actually looks “lighter” — I think, because I was using such HEAVY conditioners for so long. Or, it’s because I’m going grey, but let’s not talk about that… {sobs quietly}

Brushes

With this I started to look at the brushes I was using.

I only brush my hair when it is both wet, and has conditioner in it.

Prior to this I was using a wide toothed comb, which is fine — but I was thinking there was something better. I felt like I just had to pull on that to get snarls out….

So I got the tangle teaser, which I really like. For Christmas my husband got me a UnBrush. I like both of them. I think the UnBrush is a bit easier on tangled hair and it’s what I’m using in the shower currently.

Honestly, prior to this I’d just try to brush out the thing from root to tip, but I’ve started ear lobes down, and then tops of ears down, then crown down trying to work through tangles moving up my scalp. It’s lead to a lot less hair loss in the shower.

I also have a Denman brush, It didn’t work for me. It’s just to harsh, too many bristles (even if I remove some). I was trying to use it to clump my curls. I’d rather use the tangle teaser, I think it’s easier on my hair.

I also have one similar to this with the ridges. It does alright — I like it to create clumps when I’ve put product in before I dry, but I can’t use it to distribute product out of the shower. I’ve been using that tangle teaser or Unbrush to do that instead.

Leave-Ins

Abbey reminded me I need to be putting in something for when I do heat style.

Honestly, I haven’t found much that I like for this. I currently have the L’Oreal 21 in one spray. It’s fine. I don’t notice a big difference when I use it. But, if I’m heat styling I use a heat protectant. Just haven’t found one I love (I do like the Trader Joe’s one….)

But, I do want to give a couple of brands that I REALLY like for Curly Products.

Hairitage has been amazing. I love their Leave In Conditioner and Curl Cream. I use those two, plus a heavy gel (sometimes this one from Aussie) and I’ve had good luck. I just don’t think the curl cream has enough hold to just use that, and my hair feels a bit dry if I don’t use a little conditioner too.

Not Your Mother’s is also my new go-to. I like their curl cream (I get it at Walmart) and I also like the #3 gel, but I think the #4 (that refers to how much hold) lets my wash last a bit longer.

Honestly, I’m still on the look out for drugstore gel I really like. I do like this one, but it’s a bit on the pricier side.

A few trends I’m noticing:

1. I’m a drugstore girl — I’ve tried other brands of leave ins and gels and I haven’t been ANY more satisfied (possibly less satisfied).
2. If I do the was and conditioning in the shower right, I have less to worry about outside the shower. Just a little conditioner, maybe some curl cream and DEFINITELY some gel (which I need to brush through my hair to make sure it goes to all of them).

I also blow dry with a diffuser every other wash, as I’d like to keep my hair as healthy as I can.

So, that’s what I’m doing. If you’re a curly girl and you have a product you love — tell me in the comments. Things keep changing which makes it really hard to find something you like and stick with it.

That being said, I think it’s good to not use the same thing every time, but “speak” with your hair to see what it needs. Now that I sound crazy. 🙂 I guess I’ll it here. 😉