There are a few things, that our moms did wrong. I get lots of Grandmas asking me why I’m not doing it “this” way — and then I get to “Educate” them. 🙂 Here’s a few of the top ones:
Moms don’t know everything about labor and delivery either. Get the facts from my new Online Prenatal Class for Couples available now — I even have a free beginning version:
**I wrote this post because so often new moms have us telling them one thing in the hospital — and then their mom tells them something else when they go home. I just want you to know that research has changed a few things since our moms were new moms**
1. Babies go back to sleep. Babies need plenty of tummy time when they are awake (even if they cry like my kids did) but when it’s bedtime/naptime they need to lay on their backs. It’s a sids precaution that time has shown has worked. When we were babies, it was all about tummies to sleep. Ignore your mom (in this case).
2. No bumpers. Oh, the horror. The American Academy of Pediatrics says no bumpers. This is, again, because of a SIDS precaution. That baby gets their face next to the bumper and only inhales their on CO2… no bumpers. No matter how cute they are. While we’re at it, no pillows or stuffed animals. Cribs should be barren places of safety. Sorry cute people. Put all the cute stuff on the bookshelf. While we’re at it — I’ve had a few grandmas trying to put pillows in cribs. Absolutely NO PILLOWS.
Check out this full post about SIDS
3. No honey. They used to give us honey for the weirdest things. I bet it worked. Until we died of botulism. Ignore your mom {in this case}. Kids shouldn’t have honey until about 2-3 years (ask your pediatrician).
4. Formula is best. A lot of women my mom’s age didn’t breastfeed — the advanced technology of formula was considered best. Turns out that was wrong. Breast is best (as long as it is working for you and your baby).
5. Love your baby. Oh wait, no — they got that part right. I guess they were good moms after all. 🙂
Of course, don’t forget never wearing helmets, or riding in carseats or taking a cell phone everywhere we went. It’s a miracle we’re ALL still alive!
What else did your mom tell you that wasn’t right? Give me the dirt on when you had to ignore your mom. 🙂 Wonder what our kids will have to do differently?
**Let me be clear this isn’t a bash on our moms. My mom {pictured} was a WONDERFUL mother who raised me in a loving home and certainly tried to keep me as safe as she knew best. I AM saying that there are a few things your mom did differently then you’ll be told to do now. Things change. I wonder if babies will be back to their tummies one day? 🙂
One of the things our moms did right was getting into awesome routines that helped us all stay on track!
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Karla says
I don’t go with the crowd or popular opinion – I follow my own instincts. I think something becomes “wrong” when something bad happens, and we point fingers because we want someone or something to blame.
I felt horribly guilty, like I was doing something wrong, when my firstborn wouldn’t go to sleep on her back. Isn’t “back best?” Well, guess what? ALL of my babies were tummy sleepers, and they are still alive today. I comforted myself with the fact that, if they spit up, they wouldn’t choke to death. I have also learned that SIDS may be due to some inner ear complication, which I’m not sure has anything at all to do with sleeping positions.
I also had bumpers and stuffed animals in their cribs at the other end where it wouldn’t be in their faces.
We also co-slept, which is a big no-no for some, but wonderful for us. Just because it’s not something YOU would do, doesn’t mean it’s “wrong.”
I was shocked when I found out my mother fed me formula – I just assumed she breastfed me! It’s also funny to read pamphlets the doctors used to hand out to new mothers, advising to give babies orange juice and cereal at an early age. Yikes!
Hilary says
a) I don’t think you should feel guilty — I have a lot of friends who’ve done it.
b) I don’t think this is just popular opinion. It’s pretty well studied that it has helped. Although, no one knows why SIDs happens, so I guess no one knows!
We’re all just doing our best. 🙂
Melissa says
I don’t know how old your mother was, but when I had my children, (who are currently in their early to late-thirties,) we were totally the generation of breast feeding and NO honey before the age of 12 months. We were the “Our Bodies, Ourselves,” natural childbirth, feminist trail blazers. Yes, the accepted “rules” change over the years – and will continue to do so, but I think you have us confused with the previous generation. My mother-in-law was more of a “formula is best,” “prop the bottle,” “early solids” mom. I’m still not 100% convinced that back sleeping is best, but I always bow to the current wisdom of the day and support my daughters.
Hilary says
I am the youngest and my brother is in his 40’s. I have heard a lot of friends my age say their moms didn’t breastfeed, so who knows. It would have been nice to have had a mom who was more supportive, but she just knew bottle feeding. Life went on. 🙂