5:20, eyes pop open. Heave a giant sigh that I didn’t get more sleep. My alarm hasn’t even gone off for working out but I’m awake. I glance at Facebook. Nothing exciting. Still sad about the news I got yesterday. Grateful for amazing friends and every minute I get with them.
5:30 I pull myself out of bed. My goal is to be strong and that includes hard workouts three times/week. Today is “kick butt athletic drills.” She does just that. My mind wanders during the workout. Excited about the new lamp I got last night at Walmart. Our living room has been so dark that it’s hard to have guests. I don’t love the glare… maybe another light bulb would be better. Thoughts back to my friend A. Thinking about how hard things really make amazing people, but she really didn’t need to be any more amazing. Thoughtful of what a great example she has always been for me. counting down the minutes for the workout. I used 5 pound weights today, I was probably a little optimistic with their use. I make it through. I get some water. I love our water cooler, I love cold water after a workout. As I trudge up the stairs the water thing beeps, it’s out. Grateful Drew is home to change it. It’s not a favorite job of mine.
I say my prayers, asking my Heavenly Father to help me and all of my friends make it through another day. Special thoughts for a few friends and I plop onto my bed to read the scriptures. Today it’s the Book of Mormon. I’m still in 1 Nephi as I’m starting over. A lot of ruminations about the “Great and Abominable Church.” I mull over how they’re picking the new Pope and how different it is for us. I mull over how I’m grateful for all churches and I wonder how it will all work out in the end. My study is over.
I glance at my to do list. It rules my life. I think about the things I need to bring up to PTO meeting. I jump in the shower. I mull over my outfit of choice for the day. I’d like to look nice. I think about the new things I got at Last Chance and how I wish I just looked better most days. The shower feels good. Except water on my face, I hate water on my face.
I decide my eyes need to be blue today, at least the eyelids. I’m somehwat happy with how they come out, and my lipstick stain looks a little weird, but overall I am pleased. I find my outfit and I’m happy with how I look. That is rare lately, but I want it to be more often. I make my bed, and put things away in my room. I probably won’t see this room for longer then a pee before bed.
I shlep down the stairs. Spencer is in a good mood. He’s getting breakfast. He forgot his lunch yesterday and he’s happy he still has it to take today. He is thankful he had a lunch to use at school instead of going hungry. I clean the kitchen. I put away pots and pans that I washed on Wednesday . I worked all day yesterday. What a tiring day. I can feel my body isn’t thrilled that I’m “up and at ’em” again today. Life goes on. Spencer heads out for the bus at 7:15. He gives me some apple before he goes. I hurry and eat that apple and a couple of oat cookies before Paige heads down. She is in a sour mood. I’m baffled by the coverage over the new Pope and how weird it all is. I cuddle my little girl for about one minute. I give her milk and remind her it’s PTO meeting and we need to get ready soon. She grumbles.
I remind Conner that he has jazz band. “oh yea” is his response. We need to get going, let’s move. I get some things to entertain Paige while we’re at PTO meeting. I wonder what I will bring with me for these meetings when she’s not home. I race Paige up the stairs to find an outfit. She is not happy. She reminds me this isn’t a race. I remind her we need to get to PTO meeting. WE have words about her wanting to wear a skirt and me saying it’s too cold. I remind her we’ll be able to wear skirts during summer. I ask her if she wants to wear a long sleeve or a short sleeve shirt. She says skirt. This continues for a bit. I finally give her a minute while I pee (looking at pristine bedroom). I go back and she relents, and gets on her clothes. I make her bed, I remind her that when she’s 4 she will be able to make her own jobs and have chores just like her brothers. She smiles in consent to that. We brush her hair, spraying it with water to intice her curls out. She screams that isn’t the clip she wanted, but finally re-settles on that one anyway. We brush her teeth. I find it likely she’s the only one in that bathroom to brush her teeth.
We run down the stairs. I throw yogurt burst cheerios in a bag. Conner is already ready and takes her out to buckle her in her carseat. I’m thankful for older children who are helpful more often then they are not. I forget my phone and the lights in the garage are on. Conner fixes both. I am a lucky mom.
We head out to PTO. Conner says he simply can’t haul his stuff to the Jr High so I drop him off in from of the Middle School. Paige and I get out at the elementary and she isn’t in the mood to either hold things or hold my hand. She grumbles and whines. Sour face and all. We sign in and I hadn over my ID for the new process at school. I mull over how useless this is and how wonderful our front desk ladies are. I’m not sure how having my ID will keep my children safe. PTO meeting is filled with friendly faces. They are all so thoughtful and sweet of Paige. I forgot her cheerios and I run to the car while I leave her with my PTO friends. She glares at me when I re-enter the room.
The meeting is long. People talk and talk. They are no longer allowing parents on the playground before or after school. This doens’t work for our school as we don’t have a fence. I wish they’d realize that parents on the playground isn’t the issue. I’m frustrated that parents don’t have a say. “Environmental forms” are due soon. I mull over what I’ll say on Spencer’s. So grateful for all the good teachers we’ve had and I’d like that streak to continue. The meeting drones. Budget talk, board talk for next year. I’m already over-committed, but I dream about when I’m off carnival and I can find something with the PTO that I am actually passionate about. So many good moms (and dads, but mostly moms) who do so much. It really is inspiring. I drone a bit about the carnival. I know people are tired of hearing it, and I’m tired of doing it. Mull over cancelling carnival. Find it unlikely. Paige finds there’s doughnuts at the meeting. She is thrilled. There’s even a pink one. The stars have aligned. I get a text asking if we can take a friend to playgroup with us. I’m grateful I went to Walmart last night so I can help her out. The meeting finally ends and I run to Home Depot. Looking for a less glare-y lightbulb and a lightbulb for Spencer’s reading lamp, and an extension cord that will perhaps make the new lamp light-switchable. The people are awfully helpful. I wonder if it’s because I actually look alright today. I’m thankful for their help.
We pick up the friend. Always glad I have extra carseats and it’s a good feeling to help another mom out. We have a lovely time at church playgroup. It’s a safe time that allows me to take a breather and relax. Grateful for so many good friends.
Then it’s back home after dropping the friend off. I make a smoothie, and somehow it catches the rubber seal and adds it to the smoothie. Grateful they sent two with it, I start again and it’s OK. I added the chooclate protein powder and it’s kind of gross, but Paige likes it. Oh the things we do. She has some cheese and crackers with it. I nibble on some cheese and call a friend. I wish I didn’t love cheese so much, but it’s a fact that I do. Simply a fact.
Then it’s time to read. An easy reader together. Always need to take a deep breath before those. I’m SO ready for quiet time by this point, but she needs that time to stumble and work it out. Then a regular book by me. Then it’s up the stairs. Once again a reminder that this ISN’T a race and I have 3 nannoseconds of privacy before Paige comes in to the bathroom and says she’s ready for bed. She won’t leave when I tell her to get out some books. She needs to share some dance moves first. Then I throw her in bed with 5 books and a magazine. I must review the finer points of all of her reading material before I leave. Then the white noise goes on and I remind her she can come out when Spencer gets home.
Then it’s to my bedroom. I actually spend time in it lately now that I’m reading my Potato Peel book for book club. Thankful for book club and the fact I’m reading again. I like that I’m trying new things, even though book club is next Tuesday and I feel pressure to get this book read. It’s all written in letters and I like it. I get confused with all the letters sometimes. I read for 20 minutes. I do the math and I’m 1/2 way through. Horray.
I head downstairs. I make some popcorn for lunch. I love popcorn. I turn on the rest of Smash on Hulu and I hurily change the laundry (it got put in at some point this morning ,by me — of course) before it starts. I like Smash. I sometimes wish I was on broadway. But I’m not. I then watch the Good Wife. Computers aren’t communicating well lately. A lot of buffering. Frustrated.
I unlock the door for Spencer. He comes home and I tell Paige it’s time to get up. I get a lot of lip about how she doesn’t want to clean up her book or snap her pants. I want her to do both. Spencer and I review his note flashcards. He can’t seem to get the notes even though we’ve been doing lessons since he was born, it seems like. The flashcards are helping.
I roll over and take a little nap. I wish I wouldn’t. I have a lot to do but the nap is like heroine, I must have it. Conner comes home and I slowly wake up. We watch the end of Biggest Loser. Then it’s out to the garden to do some work. I get asked in 4 different ways if they’l get paid for this work. I mull over removing their allowence entirely, but I’m pleased with the work they do. We get all that I want done in 15 minutes. Time to find plants soon.
The kids ride their bikes as a reward for a job well done. I come in to right this, and Paige comes in with big tears after a fall in the front yard. Every 5 minutes I get asked if I’m almost done. I am in constant need, and if not me — the computer.
I notice my stats aren’t any higher when I post then when I don’t post. Maybe not posting is good for now.
It’s nice to be needed. The husband won’t be home until probably 7. It’s time for his musical and while he enjoys it, it’s a lot of work.
And now dinner must be made, and excitement for a Friday night. A mother’s work is never done, and while her to do list may be crossed off, life just keeps going on and messes made… you know the drill.