Let’s chat about birth fears, including my study that I did on what makes people afraid about labor & delivery.
Today’s guest is Christina Bernard from Labor Nurse Christina (formerly tatatopics). Christina is a Mom of four, labor and delivery nurse, better birth advocate, IBCLC, military vet and navy wife. Working on a better birth advocacy course to be released soon!
This episode was inspired by my labor fears study.
Big thanks to our sponsor The Online Prenatal Class for Couples — if you’re looking to conquer your fears, it’s the class for you!
In this episode
Where labor fears come from
What you can do about your birth fears
How social media can help and hurt birth fears
Other things that might interest you
Producer: Drew Erickson
Check out my other pregnancy podcasts:
[00:00:00.190] – Hilary Erickson
Hey, guys. Welcome back to the Pulling Curls Podcast. Today on episode 153, we are talking about fears, labor fears. Did you guys know I did a study? I’m pretty fancy. Let’s untangle it.
[00:00:23.250] – Hilary Erickson
Hi. I’m Hilary Erickson, the curly head behind the Pulling Curls Podcast: pregnancy and parenting untangled. There’s no right answer for every family, but on this show, we hope to give you some ideas to make life simpler at your house. Life’s tangled, just like my hair.
[00:00:45.370] – Hilary Erickson
Today’s guest it’s her second time on the podcast. She used to be taught hot topics, and now she is labor nurse Christina. She is one of the best advocates to help you understand labor online. I absolutely love her. I want to introduce today’s guest, Christina Bernard.
[00:01:03.530] – Hilary Erickson
Do you feel prepared for your delivery? In just three short hours, you can be prepared for the confident, collaborative delivery you want. You’ll know what to expect and how to talk with your health care team. And there are no boring lessons in this class. I’ll use humor, stories from my 20 years in the delivery room to engage both of you. I love how Alyssa told me that she found herself laughing at things that used to sound scary. Most of all, you guys are going to be on the same page from bump to bassinet, join the online prenatal class for couples today. You can save 15% with coupon code UNTANGLED you can find the link in the show notes.
[00:01:38.370] – Hilary Erickson
Hey, Christina. Welcome to the Pulling Curls Podcast.
[00:01:40.810] – Christina
Hey, lady. How are you?
[00:01:41.990] – Hilary Erickson
[00:01:42.300] – Hilary Erickson
Welcome back to the Pulling Curls podcast.
[00:01:44.580] – Christina
I know! It’s been too long.
[00:01:47.310] – Hilary Erickson
Okay, so today we are talking about birth fears. I think first, where do you think most of our birth fears come from? Especially from women who haven’t had a baby. I mean, if you have had a baby, then you’ve got, like, another bag of chips.
[00:01:58.110] – Christina
Oh, God, don’t we?
[00:01:59.480] – Hilary Erickson
If it’s your first baby, where do you think most of the fears come from?
[00:02:02.270] – Christina
Oh, my gosh. Other moms, for sure.
[00:02:04.520] – Hilary Erickson
[00:02:04.860] – Christina
TV. Unrealistic expectations and inaccurate portrayals from television shows that have no scientific knowledge.
[00:02:15.930] – Hilary Erickson
[00:02:16.430] – Hilary Erickson
I will say that I think it’s so interesting when I hear someone whose baby I delivered give their birth story to somebody else.
[00:02:25.350] – Christina
Oh, my God. You’re like, that’s not what happened. You were in labor for 46 hours. That wasn’t labor.
[00:02:32.550] – Hilary Erickson
Just like the things that they say. It’s just perspective. Obviously, if I got mugged or whatever, my perspective would be very different. Those are not good analogies. Yeah.
[00:02:44.470] – Christina
Don’t get mugged, please. Yeah, it’s all different, for sure.
[00:02:48.250] – Hilary Erickson
Oh, man. When I watch it on TV, it slays me. I just want to die when I watch birth on TV.
[00:02:53.670] – Christina
I love Grey’s Anatomy. No, shame on Shonda. But, I mean, my goodness, the last time I saw a doctor take a patient down to CT, I just don’t.
[00:03:01.170] – Christina
Think that happens.
[00:03:03.570] – Hilary Erickson
Or give a shot or an IV.
[00:03:06.250] – Christina
Oh, my gosh. Yes. What is that? That’s not normal.
[00:03:10.050] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah. So hearing from other people, especially on TikTok, god bless social media, but a lot of times what people are saying on there is not helpful. And they’re like, today I’m going to give you labor tips. And you’re like, from your one labor. That’s where we’re coming from.
[00:03:24.440] – Christina
[00:03:25.530] – Christina
Yeah. Let’s just say talk about your experience, tell your story, and then turn to people who can give you a little bit more perspective on that to help you.
[00:03:35.550] – Hilary Erickson
When I started this podcast, everyone was like, oh, my gosh, are you going to do birth stories? And I was like, no. I do think that there’s an awesome place for that. And I think it is most therapeutic from the person telling the story and possibly people who have had a baby who are listening to that birth story, because that’s something that they can relate to. But moms who haven’t had a baby or are pregnant, even if you’re pregnant, I’m just not sure that those first.
[00:03:57.140] – Christina
Stories yeah, they can be very fear mongering, for sure. Yeah. We want to erase that. We don’t want to scare people.
[00:04:04.550] – Hilary Erickson
I always feel like when I’m pregnant, every single TV show is a mom dying who’s pregnant or something, right?
[00:04:10.060] – Christina
[00:04:10.760] – Hilary Erickson
I watched Little House and she had a stillbirth, and I was just like, oh, my gosh, if Caroline can’t do it, I’m screwed.
[00:04:18.450] – Christina
I know. It’s like, you just always put yourself in that worst case scenario. And I think just in general, people, women especially, we have so much anxiety about everything. And then this is like one of the biggest events in our lives. And yeah, we can definitely get trapped in the fear. For sure. And we want to get out of that.
[00:04:35.260] – Hilary Erickson
Yes, for sure. Although, interesting, I did a study, I mean, study is in like quotation marks, but I got a lot of people to respond and a lot of different kinds of people. And interestingly, they rated worried that their partner wouldn’t be very supportive as their lowest birth fear. And in my head, I’m like, that should be a higher one.
[00:04:56.650] – Christina
Yeah, I feel like that’s a pretty good fear. I feel like that’s something we should make a decision about, probably when we’re choosing a partner. But we can’t go back.
[00:05:06.600] – Hilary Erickson
The ship has sailed. They are who they are at this point, right?
[00:05:09.810] – Christina
[00:05:10.810] – Christina
We can’t really fix that.
[00:05:12.340] – Christina
But we can give you some tips as to how to get them involved, I think.
[00:05:15.500] – Hilary Erickson
[00:05:15.980] – Hilary Erickson
So the number one thing, and I’m going to do more episodes based on each of these, but the number one thing well, two of them tied. They were worried about pain, which totally makes sense. Everyone’s worried about pain. I had kidney stones, and every time I pulled back muscle, I’m like, is that a kidney stone? Am I having a kidney stone? I’m going to die.
[00:05:33.640] – Christina
I hear that’s worse than labor cramps from people who’ve had natural labor and have had kidney stones. So you’re strong.
[00:05:41.890] – Hilary Erickson
I think they’re very equal. But you don’t have to push the kidney stone out. Like, it just comes out and you don’t have to raise it. You can just go to sleep.
[00:05:49.480] – Christina
That’s true. I always joke about that with my patients. I’m like, yeah, this is actually the easy part. Taking the child home is where things get a little bit more complicated.
[00:05:58.410] – Hilary Erickson
[00:05:59.210] – Hilary Erickson
And then the second thing that they were worried for, which I was actually really glad to see, not that I’m glad that people are worried, but I’m glad people realize they’re worried for life after baby, because I think I would have ranked that low on my first baby.
[00:06:11.490] – Christina
Yeah. I think because that’s something that you just until you experience it. You’re right. And that’s one thing. The first time I brought that baby home, that’s terrifying. And you think you have it all. You see other people, you hold the baby and you got this, but then you’re like, wait, this is so different than I ever could have anticipated. That’s something definitely talk about.
[00:06:28.180] – Hilary Erickson
I mean, I worked for a pediatrician. I had done my capstone and labor and delivery for like, four months. So completely lost.
[00:06:35.250] – Christina
Yeah, because it’s different when you’re home and you don’t have your nurse. That can be like, oh, have you fed the baby? All these different basic things. You’re like, can you come home with me, please?
[00:06:46.820] – Hilary Erickson
I know, man, I wish I could afford a postpartum doula.
[00:06:50.780] – Christina
I know, right?
[00:06:51.650] – Hilary Erickson
I can now, that’s the problem. I had babies when I was poor.
[00:06:55.110] – Christina
I know, right? Exactly. I wish it works the other way. Unfortunately, not for all of us.
[00:07:00.440] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah, but man, it would be so nice to have somebody who’s not my mom, god bless my mom, but she maybe wasn’t as helpful as I wish she was. And then this morning you asked on your Instagram, what kind of things did people answer about birth fears on Instagram?
[00:07:16.540] – Christina
Tearing was a big one. People were worried about tearing, they were worried about pushing. So I had a good amount of people kind of concerned with those things. And that the funny thing, is people worry about pushing. Are we going to go to the bathroom while we’re having a baby? Well, quite possibly. And the things that moms fear the most right. Are the things that we are not as nurses ever faced by. So I think that that’s like something that should put a peace of mind in everybody’s thought process with that.
[00:07:45.270] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah, well, and a lot of things that people are afraid of, you can’t really control. I know everyone seems to think on social media that you can control if you tear.
[00:07:52.640] – Christina
[00:07:53.150] – Hilary Erickson
But there are some tearing situations that just like you could do all the perennial stretching in the world, but it’s.
[00:07:59.270] – Hilary Erickson
Not going to matter. Yeah. The baby’s position. And then just like basic humans aren’t necessarily making babies with people that are built just like them. So it might be a different size baby coming out of you that nature didn’t realize was going to be coming out. So that’s something that’s definitely to take into account with those things.
[00:08:20.510] – Christina
And I think a lot of times with any fear, like my fears, too, like having my kids drive, I want to control it. Right. I want to pretend like I have some control over them not getting in an accident, which is just a lie.
[00:08:34.090] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah. You can do you prep, you educate, do the best that you can. And that’s what we’re here for. As far as labor goes, as far as the driving thing, I have a little bit more time. Thank you, Jesus. Because my poor mother, I mean, she wouldn’t even drive with me. I think my high school boyfriend taught me how to drive. She was like, I couldn’t do it.
[00:08:53.580] – Christina
It’s so hard. I need an Epidural for that.
[00:08:56.020] – Hilary Erickson
I know, right? I want an Epidural from motherhood. And unfortunately, there’s just not then you’d.
[00:09:01.690] – Christina
Never feel the joy if you didn’t feel all the pain. Right?
[00:09:05.950] – Hilary Erickson
I guess. Good point. Yeah, I guess now you’re right.
[00:09:09.020] – Christina
I just want to turn it on for specific parts. Potty training.
[00:09:12.230] – Hilary Erickson
[00:09:13.110] – Christina
Teaching them how to drive.
[00:09:14.600] – Hilary Erickson
[00:09:15.970] – Christina
That’s a really good one.
[00:09:17.730] – Hilary Erickson
[00:09:18.390] – Christina
[00:09:19.280] – Hilary Erickson
I think we have an idea here, Hilary. We’ll also talk offline about our million dollar idea. Yeah, I like it.
[00:09:27.380] – Christina
So I think the reason I did the study is I didn’t want people to feel like they were alone because I think a lot of people have that fear that something is going to happen to baby. And it’s not something we vocalize a lot because it’s honestly not something we want to talk about. And I get that. I don’t want to talk about it. No, but everybody else has a fear, too. They have the fear that they’re going to bleed, that something bad is going to happen to them and their son is going to be left with a baby on their own. Everybody has those things cross their minds, right.
[00:09:54.330] – Hilary Erickson
So I think yeah. I mean, honestly, do bad things happen? The bad things happen every day. Right. And that’s the biggest thing with anxiety is thinking. The worst thing is always going to happen. And those are those anxieties with labor and delivery. And you have little control over bad things that happen to your baby while you’re pregnant at home. And then when you come into the hospital, we have more control, especially if you’re in a high risk situation with monitoring and keeping you safe. And the biggest thing is educating yourself and trusting your care team. Like starting from the beginning when you find out you’re pregnant. Picking a provider that comes with recommendations and not just on their website because those can be so misleading. I’ve seen them and I’m like, I don’t think you’re a five star rating, ma’am. You know what I’m talking about, Hillary.
[00:10:43.940] – Christina
Yes, I do.
[00:10:45.550] – Hilary Erickson
If you really want to know what doctor or midwife to go see, please ask a local labor and delivery nurse at the hospital in which you are delivering. We will. Not badmouth, but we will tell you who we would see and if we would see them. You probably can bet it’s a good doc or a good midwife.
[00:11:00.380] – Hilary Erickson
But honestly. Having open conversation and as soon as you have that positive pregnancy test. The first appointment with your provider. Letting them know your expectations. Letting them know your fears. If you’re someone who wants a specific type of birth. If you want a natural delivery. If you want a VBAC. Anything like that. Open conversation from day one and see that you’re on set. That playing field for both of you. I think that’s extremely important. And the biggest thing, and I know you’ve seen this, too, is people come in and they truly don’t know why they’re being induced. They don’t know what amniotic fluid does or different things that can happen during labor. Like, they’re completely clueless, which is normal. Right. But it’s a little sad that they don’t even know which questions to ask. And that’s, like, my whole point with doing what we do, is telling people this is what happens, this is why it happens. And helping them build trust with us, it’s really important.
[00:11:58.110] – Christina
Yes. Finding a provider that actually talks through these fears, oh, gosh, some of them, there’s nothing we can do. Yeah, sometimes there isn’t anything we do. And you don’t have a lot of control. But they should have for common birth fears, they should have a good answer that both says, yes, what you’re feeling is very normal. Yes, I’m doing absolutely everything I can to prevent that. Yes, and yes, I hear you, and I’m here for you.
[00:12:22.400] – Hilary Erickson
Exactly. Easing the fears and also explaining things and at a level that everyone can understand, I think. Maybe I talked to you about this last time, but people without medical knowledge, basic, they don’t know the difference between acetaminophen and tylenol. Very basic, but seems so like second nature to most people, especially as nurses. But every day, they don’t know the difference between tylenol, motor and ibuprofen. Like, it’s all the same. So even just those simple basic things, like, think of how much more complicated it gets when you’re talking about misoprostal, cytech, all these different things, they’re like, Wait, what? The last person just said miso. That person said cytotech. Somebody told me it’s a little pill. I don’t know what it is. And that’s scary. And that’s what nurses are, translators. And I love translating for a patient because they need that.
[00:13:14.810] – Christina
And everyone always says, this is such a dumb question, and I always stop them. And I’m like, okay, there have been a few.
[00:13:21.020] – Hilary Erickson
I was going to say, well, sometimes I’m like but I promise that if.
[00:13:25.520] – Christina
You are a listener to this podcast we once had a 16 year old ask if she could pick which hole the baby came out of. That one stopped me. I mean, it was sad, but I was like, wow. I wanted to dive very deep into that question, but I don’t have time at the time.
[00:13:38.430] – Hilary Erickson
I know you’re like, well, probably the hole that got the baby there might get the baby out, but, you know, that’s why education is key.
[00:13:48.910] – Christina
Just ask all the questions. I love to answer questions while I’m going through that darn admission.
[00:13:53.860] – Hilary Erickson
Oh, my God.
[00:13:54.450] – Christina
Stupid summary. Because it’s just such a boring, like, click.
[00:13:57.920] – Hilary Erickson
[00:13:58.790] – Christina
So if I can entertain myself by answering your questions while I’m clicking all the boxes same.
[00:14:04.430] – Hilary Erickson
Me too. And I dig deep. Like my coworkers crack up. They’re like, I don’t know. I didn’t ask that. I’m like, how did you not ask that every time? If I have a same sex couple, I mean, we go deep. How do we get this baby here? I love to learn the processes and they’re like, how do you know that? I’m like, I’m getting to know these people. I’m here with them for 12 hours, so we best get to know each other.
[00:14:26.790] – Christina
And they’re most intimate, and they should.
[00:14:29.090] – Hilary Erickson
Feel like they know me, and I want to know them. I want to know all of the things.
[00:14:33.520] – Hilary Erickson
So I leave. Like, Bob and Sally are my best friends at the end of the day.
[00:14:38.700] – Christina
And if they’re not, I feel like I haven’t done my job right.
[00:14:42.030] – Christina
Exactly. Yeah. I’m like, yeah, no, I have to. I’m very good. But one thing I’m good about is I don’t always remember their names. But that’s kind of on purpose, right? I don’t ever want to. With HIPAA, I’m very conscientious about names of patients. I don’t lock those into memory. I mean, during the day, I definitely try to, but it’s been like a kind of a skill to learn to not ever compromise their secure information.
[00:15:11.030] – Hilary Erickson
[00:15:11.490] – Christina
But I definitely remember your face. I remember your story, and I love.
[00:15:15.060] – Hilary Erickson
It until I see at the grocery store where you look totally different than you do the labor.
[00:15:19.010] – Christina
Right? It’s really awkward. And you’re like, hey. They ask you more questions and you’re like, hey. I love it though, too. It’s fine.
[00:15:28.750] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah, I love it when people would come up to me outside the hospital and just be like, “hey, thank you so much.” But be assured, I literally have no idea who you are because you look so different. Your face isn’t puffy. Your hair doesn’t look like Simba.
[00:15:43.930] – Christina
And honestly, that’s the one thing that’s happened, too, as things grow with instagram and TikTok. Definitely tik tok. I’ll have patients now comment and be like, “oh, my God, I just was there,” and they didn’t realize. They were like it just showed up on their “for you” page. And I’m like, “trust me, you’re safe. Everything is good. I’m just here to teach.” It’s neat, though. I love it.
[00:16:05.320] – Hilary Erickson
And I do think finding the right people on social media to follow can really alleviate a lot of fears.
[00:16:11.420] – Christina
Oh, my goodness. That is the truth, because I have seen yeah. There’s going to be some toxic things on there that pass information, like, from people who are well meaning but don’t have any medical background. And it can be scary. Like, be very cautious with any type of like, you’re really good about it. I’m really good about it. And most people are, “Hey, this is from my practice, things that I’ve learned. But I am not your doctor, so please do not be telling anyone I’ve told you to do this.” That’s key. Right. You can’t take advice from anyone else other than your physician, your team, the day of your delivery, get some tips. But as far as solid, medical recommendations should always come from your own provider.
[00:16:52.350] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah. Because they know so much about you. Right?
[00:16:55.320] – Christina
[00:16:56.710] – Hilary Erickson
And every person I think people would be surprised about how different every person is.
[00:17:01.480] – Christina
Oh, my gosh. Yes, exactly. Their fears are the same, but yes, each case is different. And that’s why we dive deep in that questionnaire. I need to know you.
[00:17:10.030] – Hilary Erickson
So deep. And so long, that’s all the questions asked when we ask all the questions to you. So following people on social media and then I always say, take a prenatal class.
[00:17:19.400] – Christina
Oh, my gosh.
[00:17:20.710] – Hilary Erickson
The hospital ones are great, but a lot of times they fill up fast or they’re boring.
[00:17:25.950] – Christina
Yes. So I taught some hospital first classes before, and I remember the outline. I remember, I think the first or second time I taught it, I just kind of was going through the outline, and by the third slide, I’m, like, trying to go off of it, and I couldn’t even go off the cuffs because I was like, you guys don’t need this. We’re moving on. I was like, next.
[00:17:43.310] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah. I totally rearranged ours when I taught for my hospital.
[00:17:46.710] – Christina
Yeah. I’m like, we don’t need to talk about heartburn right now. I think we’ve covered that. You’re in your third trimester. Let’s talk about what’s going to happen in labor.
[00:17:55.480] – Hilary Erickson
You are living with tux or not tux. Tums in your purse right now.
[00:17:59.870] – Christina
[00:18:00.470] – Hilary Erickson
You’ve got it?
[00:18:01.020] – Christina
Yeah. You’re good.
[00:18:02.950] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah. And then just talking with that provider that you trust. And if you are not trusting your provider and you’re inside of 30 weeks, then is your chance to make a change, because it really gets difficult after 30 weeks for a variety of reasons, unless you are moving. A lot of times people are moving, and sometimes providers will talk to each other and try and set up something. If it’s an unavoidable thing but providers are always leery to take you at past 30 weeks.
[00:18:30.040] – Christina
Yes, and that’s funny you say that. So with my fourth baby I moved at 31 or 32 weeks, had to switch and I knew the whole time we were moving so it was always I made the phone calls early on. But yeah, you are more than right about that. They don’t want to take you because why are you switching? Right. As much as we hate to admit it, the hospital is a place for lawsuits and things that can happen. So if they’re going to take you that late and you had that much of a bad experience before, they just don’t know what they’re going to be getting themselves into. So you’re right before 30 weeks and that’s why you know what, you guys get that positive EPT, please best be fine and a good provider. And I do a lot of questionnaires on instagram. I’ll have a highlight bubble for recommendations in the areas for certain things like anywhere from providers to tongue ties. Providers for specific things RECs from other moms and their experiences. So I think that’s important to ask around.
[00:19:24.890] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah, ask friends. Online recommendations are so sketchy.
[00:19:29.670] – Christina
Depends. Do not look at the provider’s website because that’s made by the provider and all too often those websites are… They pick and choose. I mean it’s a potpouri. Like they can pick and choose what they want.
[00:19:42.530] – Hilary Erickson
Or they write it themselves.
[00:19:43.610] – Christina
Oh yeah, anonymous. Yeah, that’s scheduled.
[00:19:51.020] – Hilary Erickson
So will always say ask other experienced moms if you know anyone who’s already had a baby. Multiple babies, obviously if you know labor and delivery nurse, you’re one of the lucky ones.
[00:20:01.170] – Christina
Oh yeah. We got all the goods, all the info.
[00:20:03.830] – Hilary Erickson
But even if you just know like a med-surge nurse yeah, they could even call the unit because a lot of times we would have like med-surge nurses call and just be like, “hey, who do you guys…” Or they might see OB GYN on their floor. They don’t just stay in labor and delivery.
[00:20:18.010] – Christina
[00:20:19.300] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah. OR nurses would know. If you have an OR nurse friend they will know because OBGYNs are in the ORs a lot. But don’t feel like just because you had your first appointment with that doctor you are stuck. That first appointment is the same, like everywhere. It is a lot of blood work, a lot of insurance talk and then it is so easy to transfer all of that to the next provider if you’re just not loving provider number one. So get that first prenatal appointment. Keep going to prenatal appointments. Don’t just skip them because you don’t like your doctor.
[00:20:47.890] – Christina
Yeah, please don’t do that. We really don’t want you to do that.
[00:20:51.320] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah, that’s something that should really help your birth fears because if you’re afraid of something happening to you or baby going to your prenatal appointments even though they seem so dumb. I get that. We want them to seem so dumb.
[00:21:02.140] – Christina
We want them to use the more boring you are, the better for you. Right?
[00:21:06.730] – Hilary Erickson
[00:21:07.040] – Christina
I’ve had patients say I’m pretty boring. I’m like I like boring. Boring is good. That’s fine. I like complex. I’ll take anything. We’re here to help. But yeah, those appointments are key. Anytime somebody says they couldn’t make an appointment, it’s definitely concerning for the environment that they’re in, the environment that the baby is going to be going home to. Missing key appointments, like your milestone appointments, like your initial appointment, lab work, your first ultrasound for dating. I mean, that 28 week appointment for the heavy duty lab work, certain vaccines and things like that. Your glucose test. Please don’t skip the glucose test. My goodness.
[00:21:46.590] – Hilary Erickson
Thank you. Tik tok.
[00:21:49.090] – Christina
Oh, my gosh. Oh. Are they saying skip it? I haven’t seen it.
[00:21:54.000] – Hilary Erickson
I’ve seen some saying it’s not important. Okay, stop it.
[00:21:57.620] – Christina
Yeah, stop it. It is important. Ladies, a placenta does not like excess sugar if your body can’t break it down because then the placenta stops working and your baby does not like a placenta that doesn’t work. That’s good.
[00:22:10.140] – Hilary Erickson
And I think you will feel so much better if you start eating the right diet, too.
[00:22:13.900] – Christina
Oh, my goodness. Yes. Seriously. Because that dumping of sugar. I had a borderline for two of my children and yeah, I could feel like that dump. And you do you feel like crap? Yeah.
[00:22:26.960] – Hilary Erickson
It’s not a punishment. It’s a twelve meet week, so it’s not forever. Exactly.
[00:22:33.260] – Christina
That’s the other thing, too. I know. Thank goodness I wasn’t, though. Bless your heart. If you’re diet controlled gestational diabetic, you are my hero.
[00:22:41.510] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah. And have your friend bring you some cake after the baby.
[00:22:44.410] – Christina
Oh, gosh, yeah. As soon as that plus ends out, girl, you go. We’re done with that anyway.
[00:22:50.370] – Hilary Erickson
So I just want everybody to understand that birth fears are so normal. They’re fine to talk about, but they’re not great to just dwell on because you want a happy, positive environment for your baby and your mind to grow.
[00:23:01.180] – Christina
Absolutely. It’s hard.
[00:23:02.660] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah, it’s hard.
[00:23:04.120] – Christina
Mine is hard. Being pregnant, it’s hard being pregnant and mindset is key. And that’s the biggest thing with a lot of the books that I’ve read, really, truly is cheesy. And I’ll say it to my patients, they said this sounds super cheesy, but connecting your mind to your body, that’s how we’re going to get places with this. You really have to do some deep diving into your thought process around it just to connect everything, relax into it. And that’s when you’ll have a better birth experience, is by learning, easing fears and just allowing yourself to be present and mindful of what’s going on.
[00:23:39.040] – Hilary Erickson
And I used to think positive affirmations were so dumb. But if those birth fears crop up, just be like having a baby is going to be easy. That’s an easy one that doesn’t sound too woo woo in your mind. You’re like, how can having a baby be easy? But there are tons of deliveries every day that we walk out of the room, and we’re like, that was amazing. Best delivery yet.
[00:23:58.580] – Christina
Yeah, I had one just recently that literally rocked my world. I love those quick stop and drop. Don’t think you can do it, and you do it, and I like, I literally just got chills just talking about it. Like, just watching people overcome fears and just we got to do it, and they do it.
[00:24:19.330] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah. All right, so I will link my birth fears study in this episode, and Christina has a birth advocacy course coming out.
[00:24:26.870] – Christina
[00:24:27.160] – Hilary Erickson
I think it should already be out by the time we air this episode in the fall. Yes, I will link that also.
[00:24:32.920] – Christina
That will be coming out very soon. Super excited.
[00:24:35.750] – Hilary Erickson
Thanks for coming on. We’ll talk to you later.
[00:24:37.410] – Christina
Thanks, Hilary, for having me.
[00:24:38.980] – Hilary Erickson
I think it’s so important that we just be like, yes, that’s one of my birth fears, right? Recognize the fear, understand that it’s there, and then do what you can to move past it, right? Because one of the most important things you can do is give baby a fairly anxiety free body to grow. It’s, like, the worst, right? You’re not only growing the baby, but you also need to be, like, as Zen about it as possible bodies.
[00:25:03.430] – Hilary Erickson
Okay, don’t miss next week. We are talking about decluttering the kitchen, and then the week after that, we were doing a whole episode all about induction, so stay tuned.
[00:25:11.480] – Hilary Erickson
Thanks so much for joining us on today’s episode. The Pulling Curls podcast grows when you share us on social media or leave a review. If you do, please tag us so that we can share and send you a virtual hug, which, frankly, is my favorite kind of hugging. Until next time, we hope you have a tangle free day.