Let’s talk about using your spouse to help you make resolutions. How your “goal buddy” can help you take action with the things you need to change.
BIG thanks to everyone who has reviewed my podcast, I really appreciate it!
Today’s guest is my husband, Drew Erickson — he was also my episode on splitting chores (009).
Big thanks to our sponsor Family Routines. If you are looking to make goals, one of the BEST things you can do is to create more margins in your regular life — and getting in snappy routines helps that a ton! Be sure to use the coupon code mentioned in the show!
If you’re looking to get your KIDS in order this year — check out my practical parenting series:
Mentioned in this episode:
- Splitting Chores in Marriage (inspired by this post)
- How to plan your workouts
- My Family Finances Page
- Abundance Mentality Budgeting
- My cousin who helped us with financial planning
- I Love Money
- 30-day Money Cure (the course we took to help our mental state around money)
Other posts you might find interesting:
- Our actual family budget
- Ways for moms to make money from home
- The Magic of Having Enough
- How to NOT kill your husband!
Producer: Drew Erickson
Check out my other marriage podcasts:
Hilary Erickson 0:00
Hey guys! Welcome back to the Pulling Curls Podcast. On Episode 22, we’re talking resolutions. We are getting to the New Year and I love me some goals. And I’m bringing on my favorite goal maker buddy with me. It’ll be a surprise as to who that is. Today we’re going to talk about great ways to help you lose weight, get your finances in order and maybe just some things that you guys can do, together with your goal buddy, to make some action in the things you want to change in your life. So let’s untangle it.
Welcome to the Pulling Curls Podcast, where we untangle everything from pregnancy, parenting, home routines, even some family travel. Because, heavens knows, our lives are tangled. I’m your host, Hilary Erickson.
Before we get started, I wanted to thank livelaughlovesummer. She gave a review of the podcast. She said that she loves that “these are quick and easy listens about things that I can relate to and that is 100% what this podcast is for so I would love it.” If you’d give a review on however you’re listening, it really means a lot.
Today, I want to introduce our show guest. This is the second time he’s been on the Pulling Curls Podcast. That’s probably because he lives with me. No, we’re not living in sin. Today’s guest is my husband, Drew Erickson.
This episode of the Pulling Curls Podcast is sponsored by Family Routines: How to Automate Your Housewife Life. Ever wish life was more like you pictured it would be before you had kids? Being able to spend less time at the mundane tasks and more time teaching kids the fun and valuable life skills you know they need? Family Routines teaches families to simplify daily tasks into routines that help them feel more peace and joy. Say 15% with a coupon code UNTANGLED. You can find it at pullingcurls.com in the menu under “Courses”, or in this episode’s show notes.
Hey Drew! Welcome back to the Pulling Curls Podcast. Hey, that last one we did everybody loved it. I’ll link it in the show notes if you guys want to see how we split our chores.
Drew Erickson 1:53
Hilary Erickson 1:54
Yeah. Alright so today we thought we kind of review a couple things that couples couple of resolutions that Couples make together and talk about some things that have helped us to give maybe you guys some ideas. And if you have ideas from your relationship that you’re in, I’d love to hear it in the comments. So, go ahead and give me let me know or on social media. Okay, so one of the goals a lot of couples have is losing weight. We are definitely one of those couples, right?
Drew Erickson 2:20
Hilary Erickson 2:21
Yeah, losing weight has been on our list for a while. We really successfully lost weight when Paige was probably two. So she’s 10–eight years ago.
Drew Erickson 2:30
Hilary Erickson 2:31
Yeah. And we did. We did a great job, but I was less than 40 back then. So…
Drew Erickson 2:35
Well, and I think we were a lot more…. We had a lot more demands on us. We had just, we were just in the process of moving. We were doing a whole bunch of other things that just kind of added to that.
Hilary Erickson 2:44
Yeah, so about nine years ago, we did a really good job and we wanted to share some of the things we did and we’re doing. We’re both losing weight. Drew, of course, was losing weight faster than me. Which, if you are a woman in a relationship with a man, I’m sure you can relate to. A lot of times, men tend to lose weight easier than women. But you know, we get to bring life into this world. What a privilege that is! Right, ladies?!? All right, so let’s talk about some of the things we did. What was something we did that you think was helpful?
Drew Erickson 3:10
I think being more aware of what we were eating. What… what we were kind of putting in our diet.
Hilary Erickson 3:15
Yeah, a lot of times if you’re both on the same bandwagon when it comes to dinnertime, it’s easier to convince the kids that that’s something you all want to eat. And you know, one’s not complaining while the other one’s trying to make extra healthy food.
Drew Erickson 3:26
Well, and even going out to eat both of us were in a position to say to each other, “it’s okay if we take half of this home and keep it as leftovers,” rather than trying to eat the entire plate.
Hilary Erickson 3:38
Right. And I am the queen of forgetting leftovers. So Drew would always remember to actually bring my leftovers home. Anybody else have that problem? Hello…. I think it’s really good to just stay accountable to each other too, because you live in the same house. So you are my easiest accountability partner, right?
Drew Erickson 3:53
Hilary Erickson 3:54
So we can check in and we can, you know, get excited when people have good progress. And we can also help each other when people feel stuck. So I think that’s a great way to be accountable to yourself and to each other. Another thing is we can really support each other and desire changes in our life. Right?
Drew Erickson 4:10
Hilary Erickson 4:10
Yeah. So you’ve been really good when I want to work out, you’ve been good about getting up with the kids and stuff like that and being supportive when I am crawling up the stairs crying,
Drew Erickson 4:20
Right. And we’ve talked about some of the workout needs that you have are different than the workout needs that I have. For example, I tend to focus more on trying to build up my upper body strength, which is not something that’s a focus point for you. But you were helpful in saying, “Have you worked out today?” And keeping me accountable on that regard?
Hilary Erickson 4:38
Yeah, so a lot of people like working out together. That doesn’t work as well for us. We do it every once in a while, and I wish we could find a sport that we would like together. But so far, we really haven’t… also not particularly sporty.
Drew Erickson 4:50
We we have ambitions to try tennis but we haven’t tried that yet. So…
Hilary Erickson 4:54
It’s hard to find a court for us, as all the rich people have courts. We are not among them.
Drew Erickson 4:59
And we don’t really want to go spend the day at the high school while the high school kids are in session?
Hilary Erickson 5:04
Drew Erickson 5:05
To go play tennis.
Hilary Erickson 5:05
And also, I think we’ve been really good about like… we’re not losing weight to be svelt Sports Illustrated models. Do they have male Sports Illustrated models?
Drew Erickson 5:14
I’m sure they do.
Hilary Erickson 5:15
I’m gonna look that up later.
Drew Erickson 5:18
Hilary Erickson 5:19
Umm, but we were really in it to be healthy. My feet have really taken a toll from the increased weight that I’ve had lately. So we are really focusing on being healthy, not just losing weight. And so that’s been good for each other.
Drew Erickson 5:31
And both of our parents are dealing with health issues right now. So we’re very conscious of the fact that as we get older, the wanting to be more physically fit is going to be increasingly more important.
Hilary Erickson 5:42
Yeah, that’s definitely true. Okay, so hopefully that gave you some ideas on losing weight. Let’s talk about finances. Probably a lot of people have the goal to get out of debt or save more for retirement. Drew, what are some things that we’ve done to keep each other accountable and saving money or staying on budget and whatnot?
Drew Erickson 5:59
Well, for a long time we lived on a very strict budget. To where we were quite strict about it, almost to the point that it was doing more harm than good. We’re denying ourselves the ability to spend the money that we had available to us and not necessarily using our money in positive ways. And so I think in more recent years, we’ve been a little bit more open about how we’re going to use our money and using our money more as a team, kind of a thing.
Hilary Erickson 6:24
Yeah. And we actually ended up taking a course, which is something I was going to talk about on losing weight, like reading books together and sharing information. It always helps when you can like book club with the other person to share what you’ve learned. So you can condense it down. They don’t have to read the whole book. You can kind of condense it down for them. But we did a course on finances that really helped. I’ll link to it in the show notes. It might not be for everyone. We were at a stage where I was so obsessed with every single penny and maybe getting too negative about people’s spending habits when I didn’t really need to be. And I was also scared that we wouldn’t have enough money and so we took a course on abundance and kind of being open to making more money and stuff like that. You know, I would take a course that relates to what you want to do. If you’re looking to get out of debt, then that might be a Dave Ramsey moment, or I don’t know.. Everybody can kind of decide on their own.
Drew Erickson 7:08
And you bring up, Dave Ramsey. We listened to a lot of different podcasts both together and on individual basis. And then we would have information that we were able to share together based on the other things that we had heard about, and our own individual listening. So not only were we listening to stuff and studying stuff together, but we were also more communicative about things that we had heard on our own time as well.
Hilary Erickson 7:29
Yeah. And we also met with a financial planner. My cousin Joel is actually a financial planner who really helped us out. And if you’re in the, I think he’s in the DC ish area, I’ll link to him in the show notes. He’s great. But he really helped us kind of decide what percentage of our income we need to be saving and how we should be investing it and stuff like that. Everything gets a little more vague as you like, get older and you actually think you might retire someday. I mean, probably in my 30s, I never thought I would retire.
Drew Erickson 7:54
Hilary Erickson 7:54
But I’m really hoping to now.
Drew Erickson 7:55
And that… having that discussion with him actually prompted us to do a little bit more of a kind of an internal audit of how we were putting money towards retirement and how we were investing our money. And I would say at this point, we’re now much more cognizant of how we are using the money that we have set aside for retirement purposes and how we’re investing. And largely, granted, we are doing most of the investment into our retirement from our own income. But, it is interesting to be able to see that and and actually have more of a an awareness of what’s happening rather than just saying, “Oh, my employer is putting into my retirement and retirement system” (if you’re a teacher or whatever else), and not really knowing what’s happening with that money.
Hilary Erickson 8:37
Yeah. And he gave us an actual monetary goal, which we had never actually, I just thought we needed like 4 billion, which is not true. We don’t live a $4 billion lifestyle. So…
Drew Erickson 8:46
No, we don’t.
Hilary Erickson 8:47
It’s good to know. A lot of it was just being more open with each other: Drew telling me, like, what was bothering him about what I had chosen to do with our finances and me being less, or me being more tolerant of the way he was spending money and stuff like that. I’m sure you guys can relate to this in your own marriage. It’s very easy to be cognizant of what other people are spending, but then you go to Costco and you, you know, find a massager you want… Anyway. Okay, so that’s finances. Kind of some things that we’ve done.
And as I was looking at those two, I felt like there were… I felt like there were a few areas that seemed to always work. So no matter what your goal is, together, as far as your finances, a few things that you can work on is being more open together. Making a time, and we do a discussion on Sunday nights, but making a time to make sure that you discuss whatever you’re working: on losing weight, finances… on Sunday nights. You think that helps, Drew?
Drew Erickson 9:35
Yeah, the increased communication is always good. I can’t think of a situation where that wouldn’t be good.
Hilary Erickson 9:41
But positive communication. I think, probably during the finances, you wished I’d communicated a little less.
Drew Erickson 9:48
Hilary Erickson 9:49
Also, I think that taking a course or reading a book together. Of course, you can book club when not both of you are taking it, but I think it can be awesome for you guys to find one that really matches your goal. And to take a book or course together…. We’ll link some of the courses we’ve taken down in the show notes. But, it can really help you to focus because you’ve put a monetary backing behind that course. And so you really want to see it through. And so I think that can be really awesome.
Drew Erickson 10:12
Right? And it doesn’t have to be something that’s related to your, to your goals, or to your New Year’s resolution, if you will. It doesn’t have to be finances, it doesn’t have to be weight loss, it can be anything. We’ve actually had some really good courses on some really interesting things about communication. We’ve had some really interesting things about not carrying over burdens from your family’s past, or what have you. And letting that determine what your communication level is going to be in your family, and your personal family between your relationship between you and your spouse.
Hilary Erickson 10:43
Yeah, so we’ve taken Abundance Courses and clearly that relates to lots of different things. But, taking maybe a course overall even just to work on your relationship helps you communicate better in your areas that you’re wanting to work on either way. Another thing is always to seek experts. So you know, if you’re wanting to lose weight, maybe you meet with a trainer, too. Or a dietitian or whatever it is that you’re working on, you know?. We met with our… my cousin, that’s a financial advisor. And so, that can really help as well. Anyway. So, as we head into the New Year… we’re almost there… I would really encourage you guys to set and make goals together. What do you think, Drew? Do you think it really helps to have a spouse on your team?
Drew Erickson 11:16
Well, it makes it so that you’re not carrying the burden of your goals by yourself. And then two weeks after New Year’s Day is over, then you’ve totally forgotten and given up on the goals that you set before you went into the New Year.
Hilary Erickson 11:27
Yeah, I just think it’s having a cheerleader in your own home can be really helpful.
Drew Erickson 11:31
Hilary Erickson 11:31
So, tell me down in the show notes on the comments what you guys are going to work for together with your spouse, I’d love to know and then hopefully we can stay accountable because that would be awesome.
Drew Erickson 11:41
Hilary Erickson 11:42
Thanks so much for joining me on today’s episode. If you’d like to know more about setting New Year’s resolutions I have a few posts that inspired this. You can check them out in the show notes at pullincurls.com/podcast. This is Episode 022.
Big thanks to our sponsor a family routines for making this episode possible. You can find out more about it in the show notes. Or you can google Pulling Curls Family Routines… there’s lots of ways to find it. It’s always in my menu bar under “Courses.”
Special thanks to my husband for being part of today’s episode. I bring him on every fifth Monday of the month, when there is a fifth Monday, so we can discuss stuff. So, if there’s more than you guys would like to hear how we have worked out in our… How long have we been married?…
Drew Erickson 12:19
Hilary Erickson 12:19
22 year marriage, ask me in the comments section. Okay? Because we’d love to give you podcasts that you’re interested in. And of course, if you liked today’s episode, please share, subscribe and review. We really appreciate it. I hope to have you with us next time. We drop an episode on every Monday. And, until then, I hope you have a tangle free day.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai